Tel Aviv Diary - from April 2, 2003 Karen Alkalay-Gut
April 2,2003
Today is my anniversary. I started writing last year today - fear every minute would be my last and wishing at least to let people know that it was a human being and not just a statistic who perished.
In some ways I've learned from this narcissism - watching the words appear on the page and knowing they will be available to the gaze of ojective others has helped me to see myself and my political opinions more clearly, and to try for a wider vision. In other ways I remain limited, looking at the world from the wide window of Nona cafe - but the world i can see is still only the street of Ibn Gvirol, and the people i know are still mostly Israelis and mostly Jews.
That's enough of the nostalgic evaluation. And now for some living, some thinking, and i'll get back to you.
And now for the literalization of the concept of the personal as political:
This was sent to me by one of my daughters and i think she really caught my character, and indicates the wave of the future.
This should have happened yesterday, the American operation to free Jessica Lynch, who was listed missing in action in Iraq ten days ago. Private First Class Lynch, 19, is from Palestine, West Virginia. Yesterday was April 1.
I have not been writing about Bat Shalom or their activities on Land Day. I haven't written about the fact that the local cable cancelled BBC (and we are a country which lives for the news - and we love to watch the negative channels and suffer). I haven't written about the economic program that will impoverish a few more hundred thousand people (I don't know the details of Shimon Peres' alternative program but i'll bet it's better than Bibi's). I haven't written about the army's decision to stop bulldozing houses in Gaza because it does more harm than good. What else haven't I written about? Oh the list is endless. Call me irresponsible. These are all things I think about - all the time - and yet - all there is on tv is the war. and that's all i can focus on. It is a cover up. Intentional or not - we are programmed to pay more attention to the dramatic battle of good and evil far away than what is happening under our noses.
I don't even think about the money I hand out to beggars on the street - don't even think that it is a crime that a country like Israel which should be taking care of all the fucked-up people who reach these shores could let them wander the streets in rags.
April 3, 2003
I sit in my office in the elegant new glass building of the university and stay away from the radio, the internet. I try to ignore the world - stay in my ivory tower at the university. But it is filthy - as part of the budget cuts the cleaning has been cut drastically and i can barely see out of the window. I've cleaned as much has i can by myself, but don't have the equipment to make even my room look presentable. I wonder what has happened to the women who cleaned all the offices daily here once, what they are doing now to sustain themselves. There's no way to avoid the world outside - even an ivory tower needs to be cleaned.
The really terrible thing about the economic situation here is that there is no future. Whatever magician Bibi thinks he is, unless we pull out of the terrorities and make peace there's no way this economy can be healed. Too many of my friends are now unemployed with no prospects. no future. but a peace revolution could easily create a future. The government here doesn't see that simple truth.
No wonder the window looks dirty.
And on the iraqi front the US seems to have picked up a Sharon strategy - they say they're not going into Saddam's quarters in Baghdad, but they will isolate him, make him irrelevant. It didn't work for us - but then again Saddam is no Arafat.
April 4, 2003
As today's cartoon on the front page of the Times Online points out we're a bit in the dark about the truth. As the husband and wife watch the news he turns to her and says, "how do we know that Trevor McDonald is alive and that this footage wasn't filmed earlier?" How DO we know what's really happening? I don't mean whether Saddam is alive or whether the U.S. is 15 miles from Baghdad or 10. I mean what is happening in the hearts and minds of the people in Iraq - do they have any trust in the British and Americans? Do they have dreams of a monarchy? Do they have the strength to reorganize their government once Saddam is 'irrelevant'? The U.S. has a history of winning wars and losing peace but these are such different circumstances.
But of course what is on the minds of Israelis is how this will effect us. Will a weakened Iraq allow a stronger Iran? Will the status quo be tipped? Will we get attacked from another quarter? We are scared people.
That's why I've come to like the new major of Jerusalem - his approach is one I can handle. Rabbi Luplianski has been quietly working on his job for the past month. he works like my husband works - on the practical things first - the holes in the street, social services, things everyone is suffering from and everyone will benefit from.
All those times when Bandi and Sara were injured, or crippled, and needed special equipment - oxygen, wheelchairs, walkers - we went to Yad Sarah, which lends out equipment pretty much for free to everyone. Lupianski founded this organization - the only ultra orthodox organization in israel which benefits everyone.
You do what you can, wherever you can.
this mayor even has a sense of humor - he claims that the holes in jerusalems streets are so big that the ultraorthodox have asked for seperate busses for men and women to stop all that mixed dancing.
I know that's not enough - the municipality of jerusalem under Ehud Olmert encroached on the space of Arabs for years, trying to create a de facto situation in which Jerusalem was a Jewish capitol. This wrong has to be righted. But in the mean time, let's have some quality of life for everyone.
As if to prove that the first part of today's entry is right and the second part is wrong, Alan Mumford sent me a letter from Gila Swirsky:"A busy day for Israeli bulldozers -- April 3, 2003 -- It's been a busy day today for Israeli bulldozers. They had to do 16 houses by sundown, and they couldn't start until the men who live in them had gone off to work in the morning. But those machines are tireless, and by the end of the day, you could find 16 families sitting on heaps of rubble, weeping and cursing. Children, too."
So much for my vain hopes for the mayor of jerusalem.
April 5, 2003
As i begin to empty the food stores i have created for the war i understand that the terrible traumas overwhelming the citizens of iraq are the relief for the people of tel aviv. As awful as it is, there is a direct relationship. And while I feel each bomb that falls - can imagine a grandmother like me shutting the ears of her little granddaughter to the sound - i feel grateful that it is not me and my granddaughter.
The relief also frees my mind to more productive thoughts.
Here's one: I am listening to Samir Shukri sing "Rona," an Israeli Arab singing in Hebrew, and it is creating a wealth of associations. The crossovers please me - like the jewish Israelis like Zahava Benn and Dalida singing in Arabic. But I'm also incredibly curious and anticipatory of the growing Israeli Arab culture and the new identity. I just heard about a bookstore opening in Jaffa in the next few weeks - one that features local Arab writers in Arabic, as well as Arabic writers the world over. I think they may also be including translations to Arabic. This is one place i will want to visit as soon as it opens - even if i don't know enough arabic to conduct a conversation. If only an atmosphere for the development of both cultures - separately and together - grows...
Another random thought: we watch the British operation in Basra - so similar to those of the Israelis in Gaza - the men taken from their homes, handcuffed, blindfolded. The soldiers explain how it is necessary, how these people are most certainly dangerous, and how this apparent violence will prevent much greater violence. The identity is complete.
Some friends of mine cheer - see! they're in the same double-bind we're in! now let's see them with their 'holier than thou' attitude! it makes me cry - what is the joy that others too find themselves in this inhumane situation where there is no way to be other than violent? let's get out of there as soon as possible - iraq, ramallah - as soon as possible.
April 6, 2003
After all, we have enough to worry about without that responsibiltiy. Look at my schedule for the next two days, for example: Among the classes, physiotherapy, shopping, poetry readings, dance class, cooking, meetings about next year's program, etc. this a faculty meeting about going on strike and a student demonstration. These last two are the symptoms of the disintegration of the national university system in general and Tel Aviv University specifically. The withdrawal of government support for higher education began n its full force with the appointment of Lior Livnat as minister of education (the one who couldn't get a degree from Tel Aviv University, remember?), mismanaged funds, and a chaotic structure have all contributed to this mess - but the major problem (and this is problem that we know from the entire national structure) is that because participants aren't involved in the organization and decisions, these same individuals work against each other and against the organization in order to survive. What you learn at the university is to hide information from your competitors, to get away with doing as little as possible, and to take as much for yourself. It's a good education for going into national politics.
But i would like a better system.
It would have to begin with the involvement of all faculty and administration and students in the designation of their jobs and organization. Even taking into consideration that students are transient in the system, they are also exposed to the effects of the system sometimes far more than administration and faculty. Furthermore, we have no alumni organization to speak of. Not only are there no contributions, but there is no input. This is a mistake. we don't even know how useful our teachings are...
My hebrew book title has changed to muvan me'elav and is going in line for print next week. if you want to order it in advance, try calling kibbutz hameuchad. it might give them hope. i'll get the number for you if you write me.
Al Jazeera is back in English, bringing up simple questions - like 'where are the weapons of mass destruction?'
Front Page had an interesting article about France a few days ago by Guy Milliere call French is not a western country anymore. It kind of explains some of the problems. I have been very careful not to publish the French-bashing jokes i get, even though they are really funny. But I have long had problems with France.
I've long had problems with Israel too, and my most recent problem is the treatment of the Beduin who were so encouraged to settle down, and now are being 'dissuaded' from farming - budget cuts, crop poisoning, etc. These are very terrible policies, and deserve strong and severe protests. I'm not sure where and how yet. But I'll let you know.
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