I nodded at the nurses at the fifth floor nurse's station. They greeted me with smiles and waves as they did every day and night when I stepped off of the elevator on my way to my partner's room.
They never hasseled me about visiting hours. I was allowed to come and
go as I pleased.
I had made it known from day one that I intended to spend as much time
as was humanly possible with my partner.
As soon as Starsky's doctor, Dr. Kellerman realized how much Starsky meant to me and how much Startsky needed me to be there for him his doctor had placed no restrictions on the times that I could visit and he said nothing when I spent many a night asleep in the chair in my partner's room.
Some nights I just could not leave Starsky alone with his pain.
As soon as I would walk into my partner's room and if he was awake he would try to reach for me with his right hand, trying to grab unto mine, but his right hand had IV's attached to it and he couldn't move it very far.
I had my doubts that he'd have the strength to lift it off the bed even if the IV's weren't there.
His left arm was still partially numb from the shock of the emergency surgeries that had been needed to save his life.
So for all practical purposes he couldn't use it.
Dr. Kellerman, Starsky's doctor assured Starsky and me that the feeling in his arm would return gradually, but probably not for another month or so. The nerves would have to heal.
In the meantime the Dr. had started Starsky on semi-solid foods(or what the hospital tried to pass off as food), but since he was left handed it was twice as hard for him to use the utensils with his right hand.
That's one of the reasons I tried my best to time my visits around the time Starsky had his meals.
His regular nurses had told me that if I wasn't there when his food came he just wouldn't eat.
He was so damn stubborn and proud that he wouldn't ask for their help, but he always welcomed mine.
That was when I decided I'd see about moving him into a private room.
There he would get individual attention and the extra help he needed at times like these.
I walked into his room.
He had his food tray in front of him.
"Hi, partner." I said.
At the sound of my voice his face lit up and he gave me one of his lopsided grins.
"Hey Hutch, glad you're here, I was getting kinda lonely."
I looked at my partner's food tray.
If he had eaten any of it it could not have been much.
All of the mounds of various 'foods' looked suspiciously like they had been 'rearranged'.
The mashed potatoes were 'arranged' to look like a mountain and the brown gravy was running down the sides of the freshly constructed 'mountain'. It looked like a mini St Helen's.
I shook my head and said.
"What do you think you are doing?"
"Starsky, you are not supposed to play with your food, you are supposed to eat it."
"Food, what food?"
"I don't see any 'food'."
"I don't want it, it's gross."
Starsky stared at the tray in disgust and started to make another mountain out of the jello cubes.
"Everything looks and tastes the same ...cept for the colors....."
"Starsk, it doesn't look that bad to me and you have got to eat."
He shoved the tray in my direction.
"Ok, then, it's for you, you eat it Blondie."
I was getting exasperated.
"Starsky if you don't eat, Dr. Kellerman is not gonna let you go home."
"He has told you that more than once."
About that time Starsky spied the Creamery bag in my hand.
"Hey, you brought me ice cream."
"Yes!, yes!"
I looked at my partner.
"Well I don't know Gordo, 'treats' are only for good little boys."
"Aww, Hutch come on, I'm hungry, pleessee"..and he looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes and once again my heart melted.
If he could bottle that look he could make a fortune with it.
"After you eat what's on your tray."
I pushed the tray back in front of Starsky.
"Then....you get 'this', and I held up the Creamery bag.
"But it'll melt Hutch if I don't eat it now."
He grinned at me and I smiled back at him.
"I'll just put it in the Nurse's fridge."
I thought to myself, I think I won this round Dirtball.
"That's blackmail Hutch."
I thought to myself, yea, I suppose it is.
"You're really proud of yourself, aren't you Blondie." Starsky said.
Starsky knew he had lost this round.
He awkwardly picked up the fork in his right hand and began to eat.
He managed to eat almost all of the food on his tray.
"Now can I have my ice cream?"
I smiled at him, got up and put the almost empty tray of food on the table by my partner's bedside.
"Yea, you sure can partner."
And I had to admit to myself after almost losing Starsky I was going to enjoy spoiling him.
Starsky shifted uncomfortably.
"Hey, you ok partner?"
"I think I'd feel a little better if you could help me sit up some more, I need to change positions."
"Sure buddy, sure."
I helped him into a more comfortable sitting position and propped him up with his pillows.
A dark cloud descended over me when he winced and moaned in pain when he tried to help me settle him.
"Oh shit, oh shit, damn that hurts, oh Hutch, Hutch."
He squeezed his eyes shut waiting for the pain to subside.
"Starsk, easy......you just take it easy, don't try to move, easy now." I rubbed his shoulder gently.
"Let me do all the work, you just try to relax."
He leaned back against my arms and let me lift him up and back against the pillows.
"Hey you ok Babe." I asked him.
His eyes slowly opened.
"Yea, I'll be ok in a minute."
"Just have to remember not to try to move too much."
I got the Creamery bag from the freezer and took out the shake and gave it to Starsky.
He closed his eyes and sipped on the shake.
"Thanks Blondie, now 'this' is food."
He drank the shake and handed me the empty cup.
I few minutes later I saw his eyes start to close.
He tried to hold back a yawn but it escaped him.
"Hey Starsk, why don't you take a nap for a while and I'll come back later?"
"Ok Hutch, that sounds like a good idea, suddenly I can hardly keep my eyes open."
He was asleep before I had pulled his blanket up around his shoulders.
I went home to sort through the mail and to water the plants.
I knew that Starsky would probably sleep until evening.
I'd go back to the hospital then......................................
.........................................
.........................................
As I got closer to his room I heard Starsky's voice. He sounded distressed, so I instinctively stepped up my pace.
When I walked into his room I saw his face light up at the sight of me and he let out a sigh of relief.
I actually think I saw a spark of life returning to those deep blue eyes, I prayed that I was right.
"See, I TOLD you he'd be here............NOW will you go and leave me alone."
"Hutch can help me."
"He can do it."
The nurse turned on her heels, shoved past me and mumbled something like............"he is impossible, he's all yours............."
I watched her leave in a huff.
I walked into the room and sat down on the edge of Starsky's bed.
I watched his face, he didn't seem to be in any more pain than usual but he had the strangest look on his face.
"Hey buddy, what's up?"
"What are you and that Amazon of a nurse disagreeing about this time?"
"She, do you know what she wanted to do?"
His voice was at least two octaves higher than usual.
"She wanted to give me a 'bath', a bath!!!!!!!"
The expression on his face was priceless.
"Take it easy buddy, she is just trying to do her job, that's all."
"After all..........once you've seen one, you've seen them all."
"That's not funny Hutch, not funny at all."
Anyway, she can just go do her job somewhere else.........and before you say it..........I know that for the past month I couldn't bathe myself and the nurses did it for me but at least at the time I didn't KNOW about it."
"Aww, Hutch."
Starsky's voice trailed off and he looked down at his blanket and away from me.
"What is it Starsk?"
"Please could you..........I mean..........would you.......do you think you could?"
"Starsky", I interrupted him, "you are making no sense at all."
(Sometimes I think I need a degree in 'Starsky'ism'.)
"Hutch I really do need that bath."
His eyes slowly looked up and met mine.
Oh, so that's it, I thought to myself.
"No problem partner, I think we can handle that........piece of cake."
It made me feel warm inside to know that Starsky felt so completely comfortable with me that he would let me help him.
"Hey, I almost forgot, Hutch."
"Dr. Kellerman said he wants me to get out of bed tomorrow and try to walk a little."
"Hey that sounds great partner."
He lowered his head and stopped talking.
"Hey Starsk, you ok?"
"Hutch do you think you could ask Dobey to let you be here then?"
"I'm kinda scared, I know it's silly to be, but I am........some big bad street cop............."
He gave me one of his lopsided grins.
"Hey Babe, it's not silly to be scared, I'd be surprised if you weren't, and yes I will be here, wouldn't be anywhere else."
"Hutch I want to get out of here so bad, I want to go home."
When I looked at him his eyes were so sad.
"I know you do Starsk and you will, I want you out of here and home too."
...................
"Oh Starsk I almost forgot, I brought you a couple of books."
I put them on his bed where he could reach them.
He picked up the first one and flipped through the pages, glanced over at me with a quizzical look on his face.
"What's the matter, don't you like it?"
"Hutch, there aren't any pictures in it."
"Starsky, a book doesn't have to have pictures."
I looked at my partner.
"You know Starsk, maybe I should have brought you a coloring book and crayons instead."
"Very funny Blondie, very funny."
The End