There are two striking points about sexual politics in 'Allo 'Allo. One is that, despite all the tit jokes, in most cases it is the women who are the sexual aggressors, pursuing their lust object - usually Rene - with single-minded agression. Captain Bertorelli and Mssr. Alphonse hold up the side for the boys, but in general it is the girls who do the pursuing and the boys the fleeing.
The other striking point is the aura of polymorphous perversity that hangs over the show. It rarely gets any attention in LesBiGay histories of the media, but 'Allo 'Allo is a very rather programme in many ways.
The delicately camp Lt. Gruber, with his doomed crush on Rene, is, of course, the most famous left-footer on the show. But I feel that the ambidextrous characters in 'Allo 'Allo deserve a mention as well. Here's my list of the characters that I suspect have discovered that playing on both sides of the street has its rewards.
(It should be noted that these characters were playing with fire. Homosexual and bisexual men were liable to be interred in concentration camps by the Nazis, with orders that they were to be "shot while escaping" [sic], and while lesbianism was not technically a reason for internment, many lesbians found themselves in the camps on trumped-up charges. It's lucky that 'Allo 'Allo takes place in such a uniquely benign version of WWII...)
Louise, you ask? The blonde Commie who pursues our unfortunate cafe owner with such violence? It is true that her heart is set on Rene, but in the meantime, she is far from lonely. When Edith first met Louise, who embraced and kissed her with excessive enthusiasm, she asked the obvious question, "Is she...?" Rene answered no, but it seems he was at least partly wrong.
In episode ....., Mimi, Michelle, Yvette and Crabtree needed to contact Louise in the middle of the night. "I cannot attack anyone tonight," she complained. "We are engaged in importnat discussions." At which moment the head of the Communist resistance movement appeared in a negligee to call a rather enthusiastic Louise back inside. It is never revealed, however, exactly what item no.6 on the agenda actually was...
"I wish our branch meetings were like that," Michelle sighed wistfully as the Communist girls disappeared back into Louise's bedroom. Certainly Michelle seems not unskilled in such complex negotiations, considering the very physical affection she demonstrates towards her own lieutenant, Henriette, in episode ..... I would suggest that was why Michelle remained so strangely immune to Rene's powerful charm, if there was not a suggestion (also in episode ...) that she occasionally spends her nights with Crabtree.
Alberto: Isn't he the general who is a little bit this-a-way that-a-way?
Helga: We will get Lt. Gruber to speak to him.
Hans has a little wife back in Germany, a girlfriend in England,
and an ongoing arrangement with Maria and Yvette. However, he is also known
to get teary-eyed and dreamy over Lt. Gruber
Colonel: Not you too, Hans?
[Hans nods sheepishly.] - Ep....
and he has also realised the secret of Rene's irresistability - he has very good legs.
One final point - General Von Klinkerhoffen's penetrating and powerful gaze makes Hans wilt at the knees. He confesses he cannot say no to a man like that... (3.5 Shooting the Airmen