Since the coolist seem to be out of whack again...
I'm sending this in the discussion ML. Sorry about my earlier message... Must learn to curb
enthusiasm...

Disclaimer: JQ not mine. Story is sorta mine. It's based on
the real life misadventures and torture a certain bestfriend
of the author inflicts on her brother who is going through
his first serious romantic relationship...
Rating: I know I was hoping for clean fun all the way...
But alas... I'm afraid I have to put a (WARNING: MATURE
CONTENT!) sign. Nothing obscene, just a general idea for
those with overactive imaginations...
Category: Humor, traces of HR, and PURE INSANITY
Summary: The turmoils of seeking information

Note: The kids are a bit older here... 16, 17, 18... Thank you.
I'll probably get stoned or bricked by how I portrayed Race,
but then again... I don't really like Race that much... And I
haven't bashed him in a while... And since this is really a
parody of a poor unfortunate soul's love-life, expect some
majorly insane out of characterisms from the JQ cast.

The Funny Thing About First Love is...
Chapter 2: ... there's no one to talk to!
by: Ina-chan and Saijin

Jonny stood still. Hesitant. Contemplating his next move.
He knew he shouldn't bother other people with his problems,
but the questions in his head refused to be answered. Instead
they hid behind and bore more questions. He knew that if he
didn't do anything soon... he'll grow mad!
But is it really worth the hassle?
Which one was more important anyway? Pride or Peace
of mind? Pride... It could mean horrendous bruising of his ego,
specially if... other people would find out. But if he didn't... Is
the stability of his mental health that important to him?
Jonny took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and
walked into the study before his pride replied. And found an
oblivious figure behind a laptop and an impressive pile of
books...

[Name: Singh, Hadji
Affiliation: best friend and close confidant
Advantages: trustworthy, impressive amount of wisdom,
good insight on various situations.]

Hadji would be the perfect person to ask! Jonny was about
to call his best friend's attention when visions of unfortunate
circumstances that seem to follow his friend like a plague on the
subject he wished to discuss, entered his mind.

[Liabilities: Unfortunate romantic experiences with women...]

Hadji looked up from the screen and saw his friend standing
by the door, "Did you want something, my friend?"
"No," Jonny stammered as he edged toward the door and
shook his head violently, "I just wanted to... uhmm... wish you
luck! Good luck!"
With that, Jonny disappeared from the room. Hadji blinked
thoughtfully, before dismissing the incident and returning to his
studies.

Darndarndarndarndarndarndarndarndarndarndarndarn!!!!!!!
Jonny sighed. He walked toward the general direction of the lab
and found his father immersed on something a... well... whatever
it is... hmmmm...

[Name: Quest, Benton
Affiliation: father
Advantages: dependable close relation adult with good general
wisdom on family affairs.]

"Dad?" Jonny called out
"What did you do this time?" Dr. Quest replied without
looking up from what he's working on
"Nothing," Jonny replied defensively, "I was just wondering
if you're busy."
Dr. Quest looked at his son, "What is it?"
Jonny shrugged, "Just talking. You know, stuff... maybe about
mom."
The older man's expression softened as he motioned his son to
come in the room, "What exactly brought this up."
Jonny shrugged again as he pulled a seat beside his father,
"I dunno. I guess I've just been thinking and all. You never did tell
me how you met Mom."
Dr. Quest smiled as a far-off expression crossed his face,
"I believe it was during a wedding. It was on old highschool buddy
of mine. Lance's, I think."
"Mr. Gaingrich?" Jonny wrinkled his forehead
"I was the bestman, and your mother was the Maid of
Honour..."
"But didn't Mr. Gaingrich go off to Tibet and became
a monk?"
"Jonny..." Dr. Quest warned
Jonny ducked and gave him a sheepish grin.
"It was a beautiful summer afternoon," Dr. Quest started
as he lapsed into an almost trancelike state as he remembered,
"I was so nervous about being the best man, it almost seemed
like I was the one getting married. Your mother was a little
mouse of a woman, so I didn't really notice her until she
came in with that white bridesmaid gown. It made me feel
light-headed to watch her... The flowers framing her hair
like a halo. She was an angel walking on earth... with the
most melodious voice..."

*Flashback to that very moment*

A blond woman looking ready to explode as she
whispered, "Tessa! I love you like a sister and all, but there
is just enough that I can stand. You will either let me step
down from the Maid of Honour position or get Lance to
replace HIM." She said pointing at the bestman.
"I'm sorry," The accused replied meekly
The bride laughed nervously, "Rachel please, don't
overreact. We're in the middle of the vows."
"Do you Theresa Martin take..." The minister said out
loud trying to ignore the commotion in front of him
"OVERREACT?!?! ME? OVERREACT?!?!" Rachel
hissed indignantly. She pointed to the hem of her gown, "I
wasn't the one who threw up on MY shoes!"
"I'm sorry," The accused apologized again
"For God's sake Rachel, get over it," The groom hissed
through a forced smile
"Honey, there's no need to get all wired up," The bride
said politely under her breath, "I mean after all, it was Benton's
fault."
"I'm sorry."
"YOUR best friend is the one who's acting like a spoiled
brat here," The groom retorted, "Like all your friends."
The bride looked at the groom incredulously, "How dare
you..."
"It's true," The groom hissed hotly
"Tessa... it's alright," Rachel began uncomfortably
"Uhmm... Theresa Martin... If you people feel like doing
this some other time..." The minister said impatiently
"WHAT?" The bride snapped at the minister
"Do you or don't you," The minister continued uncertainly
"NO! I REFUSE TO MARRY A MAN WITH A LOW
OPINION OF MY FRIENDS AND MYSELF!" The bride
screamed at the groom
"I'M GLAD I FOUND OUT ABOUT YOUR OWN
IMMATURITY BEFORE I GOT SHACKLED WITH YOU!"
The groom retorted
The bride slapped the groom, hiked up the hem of her
gown and marched off, in front of awed guests.
"I'm sorry."
"SHUT UP!"

*Flash forward to present*

"But you know Dad, I don't remember any indications
of Mr. Gaingrich ever getting married..."
Dr. Quest laughed anxiously, "What else do you want
to know about your mom?"
"Well..." Jonny began, "How did you know that Mom
was the one you were going to marry."
Dr. Quest smiled, "There are signs one would recognize.
With your mom, the sign came up just like that, and I knew
she was the one..."

*Flashback to 16 years ago*

A younger red-haired man and a blond young woman
stand ackwardly together in a cramped bathroom, as if
waiting for something to happen. The woman looked at her
watch then gave the man a signal. The man nods nervously
as he bends down and precariously pull a plastic indicator
from a clear plastic container with an amber coloured
susbstance. Both take a deep breath before looking at the
object on the man's hand then lapsed into a deafening
shocked silence as they saw the result of the "test".
The man looks at the woman and gives out a nervous
laugh, "Pink isn't the color we were aiming for, were we
honey?" Benton commented on the obvious
"Shut up," Rachel replied blandly as she rubbed her
temples to ward off an incoming headache

*Back to the present*
[Liabilities: He's my dad.]

Jonny groaned. One moment things were going fine,
then the mention of a certain test led to his Dad explaining the
components and properties of potassium permanganate and
other chemical indicators. He needed to talk to someone who
was open on talking about personal experiences with stuff
like this... Jonny grinned as an idea entered his mind. He
rushed outside to find...

[Name: Bannon, Roger "Race"
Affiliation: close family friend
Advantages: a lot of experience with relationships with
women]

"You busy Race?"
"Not really," Race replied as he looked up from
polishing his car
"Hey, it's looking good," Jonny replied
Race gave him a wry grin, "So, what have you been up
to?"
"I was wondering if you can give me advice on some
stuff..."
"Sure," Race replied as he threw a spare rag to the boy,
"What is it?"
"Well... it's kinda personal..."
"I see."
"There's this... uhm..." Jonny began uncertainly as he
focused on rubbing a part of the car furiously, "I have a friend
who likes a certain individual in a more than friendship way."
Race stopped and smiled knowingly, "I see."
"And he's kinda wondering... how do you know that
its for real... you know..."
Race chuckled, "Well... you can tell your friend, that
you just know."
"How?"
"I remember when I was in highschool, there was this
girl in my class that had the most amazing pair of..."

"...it was back in my Agency days, Kaitlin Guiseppe.
Beautiful silky long hair, sexy accent, and her --- whoa--- to
die for..."

"... Angela... a Peruvian angel on earth. Eyes that make
you feel like your going to fall into a mysterious abyss..."

"...now Rochelle..."
"Uhmm... Race," Jonny cutted in, "So basically, aside
from strong physical lust and great sex, how else exactly do
you know that the girl you met is THE ONE?"
Race looked at him blankly and blinked.

Blink, blink...

Blinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblink.....
Jonny sighed, "Thanks Race."

[Liabilities: his experiences with women]

"BARK!"
Jonny looked down and saw his pet looking up at him
playfully and expectantly with a tennis ball in his mouth.

[Name: Bandit
Affiliation: do--- Who are you kidding Quest?!?!?]

Jonny bent down, gave the dog an affectionate pat as he
pried the ball from his mouth and proceeded to half-heartedly
play a game of fetch as the two figures walked across the
property toward the sea. Bandit, sensing his master's lack of
enthusiasm getting tired of the game advanced toward the shore
and taunted the incoming waves playfully. Jonny laughed at his
pet's antics as he took off his shoes and stood close enough to
the water to lap his ankles. He let out another sigh.

"Hey! That's one heavy sigh!" A voice called out
cheerfully behind him
Jonny turned around, "Hey Jess."
Jessie clutched her jacket tightly around her, "Aren't you
cold doing that?"
Jonny grinned, "No. The water's pretty warm actually."
Jessie took off her own shoes and waded on the water
beside him, "You seem like you're having some major thoughts
there..."
Jonny shrugged.
"You know you can talk to me, if you need help on
anything."
Jonny looked up at her. Jessie?

[Name: Bannon, Jessie
Affiliation: Best friend and reliable confidant]

Jonny smiled. Yeah? Why not?
Jessie smiled back.

[Advantages: Female perspective. Dependable. She's
pretty cool when it comes to talking about stuff. He was
pretty sure he can talk to her about this...]

"I..." Jonny began hesitantly... that smile that Jessie was
just giving him was giving him the creeps.
Bandit looked at his master then at Jessie. Sensing that
there was no way to get either person's attention, he plopped
down with a sigh and scratched himself.
That's when he saw "it." The EVIL glint of malice in her
eyes contrasting the sweetness of her smile.
[Liabilities: JUST RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN IDIOT!]
"Gee... Thanks Jessie. But I'm okay...I'llseeyoulater,'kay?
bye." Jonny stammered as he grabbed his shoes an ran to the
safety of the compound

Jessie watched the retreating figure with a twisted smile,
"I told you will have your turn Jonny Quest. It's payback time,
from that year of hell you put me through." She started chuckling
then erupted into a full peal of uncontrollable laughter.
Bandit watched the girl curiously, then howled.

Author's squawk:

MWAHAHAHAHAHA! You knew that was bound to happen. We
don't want Jonny to attain eternal happiness just like that, do we?
Oh yeah... Saige and I are playing a game on
inserting scenes or quotes from the TRA series into the fic. Of
course witht he quotes, it doesn't necessarily have to be the original
person who said it? Can you guess our mystery inserted scene for
today?

Ina-chan and Saijin

Comments, criticisms, bricks to... inachan2@ican.net and
saige-jin@rocketmail.com

===============================================================
Something from Ina-chan... a personal opinion on DBNism (this does not
represent the entire opinion of the DBN collective)

I hide in the shadows, away from the light of the HR's. You can think
of me as an annoying cockroach. Annoying, multiplying rapidly, sometimes
fighting dirty... But cockroaches have survived on earth for more than a
million years... AND SO WILL DBN!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---

Ina-chan
inachan2@ican.net

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