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Date: Mon, 19 Jan 1998 19:58:29 -0500 (EST)
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To: jq@edc.ml.org
From: Ina-chan 
Subject: JQ: fic:Funny4
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The fanfic ML hates me... so I'm sending all my fics through the discussion
list... sumimasen... I really don't know what's happening. I keep getting
daemon messages when I use it...

Disclaimer: JQ not mine. Story is ours. It's based on the real life
misadventures and
torture a certain best friend of the author inflicts on her brother who is
going through his first serious romantic relationship...
Rating: Hmmm... maybe a little offending to extremely conservative people. 
Category: Humor, traces of HR, and PURE INSANITY
Summary: Sometimes, dates do not exactly go according to how one envisions it...
Archivers: No puraburem... tell us where...


Note: This is an ongoing episodic series. Though you have the option of
reading this
chapter prior to reading the preceding ones, it is more advisable that you
don't. If you
wish to view copies of the earlier chapters you can either visit my site:
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1986 or any other site that
archived this
storyline. Or you can e-mail me for a copy at inachan2@ican.net

        And the Quest kids are a tad bit older... 16, 17, 18.

The Funny Thing About First Love is...
Chapter 4: ...the Paparazzi Syndrome
by Ina-chan & Saijin

        "There are a few basic steps that most people follow like a code in
dating, "Race began patiently, giving the figure on the passenger's seat of
the car a side glance. The figure beside him groaned and sank down as low as
the seat permitted.
        "Step one," Race continued, ignoring the sound of protest, "It's
very reasonable to have some form of a plan before plunging  head first into
shark infested waters..."
 
***
        "Jonny."
        The boy jumped at the sudden clamor. He turned around and saw his
best friend
sitting at the bottom of the stairs giving  him that... creepy smile she
makes. Like a cat looking at you  innocently after swallowing a canary.
        "Going somewhere?" The redhead implored
        "I'm just going out for a couple of minutes," The blonde replied
uncertainly
        "Where are you going?" Jessie continued
        Jonny frowned, "Why this interest on my personal sallies all of the
sudden?"
        "I was just asking a question! You don't have anything to be
defensive about..." Jessie said innocently before grinning evilly, "Unless
you have something to hide..."
        The boy matched her expression, "Well, its really none of  your
business now is it." 
        "Of course not," Jessie agreed
        "Well, I'm glad that's clear," Jonny commented suspiciously
        "Sure," Jessie nodded, "Absolutely. Crystal."
        Once again, the boy started his trek to the front door.	
        "So what time are you coming back?" Jessie called after him
        Jonny cringed and turned back to her in annoyance, "I  don't know.
Maybe I'll decide never to come back."
        "Alright," Jessie snorted, "That's okay with me."
        "Okay."
        "Okay."
        "OKAY!"
        Jessie gave him a big smile and a little wave as the boy walked  out
of view with the expression of dubiousness in his eyes. The girl sat on the
steps patiently as she listened to the noises accompanying the boy's
exeunce. Ten seconds after the front door closed, she jumped to her feet,
placed two fingers in her mouth and blew a  shrill whistle.

***
        "Step Two, always compliment  your partner."
***
        "Well, you took your sweet time hauling your butt downstairs!"
Jessie snapped
impatiently as her companion grabbed the jacket she was holding in her hands
        "How very kind of you to wait," Hadji said calmly
        "Look, we don't have any more time to loose," Jessie said chafingly
as she dragged the poor boy to the door,  "Jonny already had a ten minute
head start and we'll completely miss them at this rate!"
        Hadji sighed.

***
        "Step three, start pleasant conversation."
***
        "Alright, always ten meters away," Jessie instructed as she checked
and loaded the small infrared digital Questcam(TM) in her  hands, "We don't
want them getting
suspicious or getting away."
        Hadji's mind was a whir of motion as he juggled a various plans in
his head to avert any resulting disaster from his friend's impulsive
kamikaze campaign for revenge. Knowing Jessie at this state, damage control
is the only thing a person can do. Of course, Hadji being  himself, cannot
help but try to avoid the forboding catastrophe in every way possible, "It
is rather pleasantly warm tonight, don't you think?"
        "You better hang on to this," Jessie continued as she shoved
several cartridges into Hadji's jacket pocket, "Just in case we run out of
ammunition for evidence."
        "There is a nice Italian place at..."
        "HADJI! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING! You just  missed the turn!"
        "Have I mentioned that you look exceptionally..."
        "Here! Park here! I think I see her! Is that her waiting by the front?"
        " So I have decided to go for that sex change operation."
        "Yes! It must be her! There's a blonde guy walking up to her! Hey!
It must be her! There's no way you're getting away now,  Jonny Quest."

        "Then I will seek employment as a naked lap dancer at a local
chapter of the Temple of Christ."
        "Hadji, come on! Stop babbling and get out of the car. They're
starting to walk
away!"
        
 
***	
        "Step four, enjoy some sightseeing."
***
        "Do you see them anywhere?" Jessie asked desperately
        "No," Hadji replied
        Jessie crossed her arms in annoyance, "Whoever thought of bringing a
girl to a
semi-crowded mall at night as a romantic date?  Geez! So typical!"
        "Well..." Hadji began, trying to sound as disappointed as possible
before taking his friends arm to pull her away, "it looks like there is
nothing else for us to do but to go home..." 
        "Wait!" Jessie barked as her face lit up, "There they are! At the
second floor! By the balcony!"
        Hadji looked up at the direction Jessie was pointing at. From his
angle, he could see a blonde and brunette couple chatting animatedly unaware
with their backs toward the second couple in pursuit. Hadji  raised an
eyebrow in skepticism as realization hit
him. "This is the exact spot where we first encountered Sand." He murmured
out loud
        Jessie looked at him in surprise, "Really? Wow, I never thought
Jonny as the
sentimental type... Though personally, if I were her, I'd rather not relive
how we first met."
        Something about this whole thing was not right, "Jessie... I think
it would be better if we just leave them alone and go home right now."
        Jessie ignored her friend and focused her camera, "C'mon you  two.
Turn to the nice camera so I can get a nice shot of your faces..."  Then she
gasped and started taking pictures frantically. Jessie turned to her friend,
"Hadji! Did you see what they did? They were kissing!  In public! Oh boy...
this is going to be great!"  
        "Jessie wait!" Hadji called out desperately as he ran after the
excited girl.  Hadji hardly felt the 'thomp', knocking his
turban slightly askew his turban buffered the impact of the fallen object
but he definitely felt the cold liquid as it rapidly seeped into his hair
and proceeded to drip down his face he looked up and saw a youngster as he
dashed away...laughing. With a silent groan, he looked toward his friend,
hoping to get some sympathy.
        "Hadjiiii!!!! What are you standing around there for?! Come on!
They're leaving!"
        He stared after his FRIEND walking, almost running, ahead of him,
"Actually, I was waiting for an enthused young boy dump his cold
unwanted-sugar-loaded-carbonated beverage on my head. I didn't want him to
waste it."
        "'Oh but are you all right, Hadji?'" Hadji continued muttering to
himself, "But of 
course Jessie. It is just pop. I mean after all, all it will do is create a
stubborn stain and dry up with a sticky feeling on your skin. I do  not
mind. I really don't because I am serene... I am calm..."
        "And I am talking to myself"
 
***
        "Step five, a nice quiet long walk, just to enjoy each other's
company..."
***
        "You do understand that in various States, what we are doing is
considered illegal and a violation of basic human rights," Hadji whispered 
        Jessie snorted, "Aw c'mon Hadj. Its just Jonny."
        "And I am sure he will be happy to know how highly you think of his
person."
        Jessie smirked, "Tell me honestly, Hadji. Aren't you even a teeny
weenie bit curious about this Sand girl. I mean look at her. I never really
imagined Jonny going after a girl her type. I mean if I didn't know better,
she almost looks like she's built to be some kind of Olympic athlete on
steroids."  
        Hadji glanced at the couple they were following. True, that up close
Sand appeared "buffer" than he remembered seeing her that fateful day. Then
again, there is so much one could see from  a running disgusted figure from
the view of a second floor mall balcony. He was about to give his reply to
his companion's comment when the girl suddenly grabbed him by the collar and
banged him hard against the wall. Before he could utter a sound of protest,
her lips covered his to silence him. So he did the only thing a stunned
young man would do when encountered with this situation.
       He froze in terror.	
       "WHEW! I think Sand suspects we're following them!" Jessie whispered
obliviously when she released her hold. "I think she looked back, I think.
That was close!" Jessie continued as she proceeded to drag her companion,
completely unaware of his hyperventilating.
       Hadji thought as he
wondered what else could possibly go wrong to strip him of what dignity he
has left.
 	
**
        "..and maybe have some form of interaction with the local wildlife."
***
        "There they are, they're going into that club!" Jessie exclaimed,
"Underage and a night club... Hmmm. I'm beginning to wonder what kind of
girl Jonny is going out with..."
        Hadji frowned. Now HE was really beginning to worry. 
      "Darn! I'm almost out!" Jessie cried out as she went through her
belongings to load the camera with a fresh cartridge. She tossed the used
cartridge to Hadji before running toward the targeted building.
        Hadji fumbled with the object in surprise then hissed in frustration
as it slipped from his hands and across the sidewalk and into a darkened alley. 
        "Wonderful," He sighed as he walked into the back street and
searched for the
runaway article through the dark. Spotting it just beside a dumpster, he
bent down and reached for his prize then froze...
        
        He looked up and found himself face to face with a very angry
looking, rabid...
        
        ...Chihuahua. 
        Hadji smiled at the animal nervously, "Hello there. Nice doggie..."
        
        "MY tranquillity, is YOUR tranquillity..." 
        

***
        "Step six... Then some dinner..." 
***
        "Geez! What took you so long?" Jessie said irritably at her haggard
looking date.
         "I came across some problems. Thank you
for your
concern," Hadji replied blandly. 
        "Well, they're inside already," Jessie uttered 
        Hadji looked at the bright neon sign, "The Rainbow Pub." 
        Suddenly, a chill ran through the young man's spine. But feeling
suddenly very afraid was the only thing he could do as the girl dragged him
into the ominous building.
***
        "... and dancing."
***
        Hadji held on to Jessie's arm as close as he possibly could, in his
efforts to hide from the uncomfortable glances he was receiving from the
people in the room. They weren't the offensive  'yo! homie boy' glances,
mind you. They were rather appreciative, flirty glances from the various
buff women and even some men in  the room. Like wolves circling a lone
gazelle. Despite himself, he felt a lot safer sticking himself to Jessie
like scotch tape. 	
        "There they are!" Jessie whispered harshly, "This is definitely not
a place where a
sixteen year old should be in." 
        "Oh, you think?" Hadji whispered weakly
        "This girl is definitely a bad influence," Jessie remarked, "I
don't care if this is
intrusion of privacy or anything. We are dragging  Jonny out of here and
away from her."
        "Okay," Hadji agreed half-heartedly as he trailed after the
determined girl. 
        The two made their way to the bar where the two figures were
sitting, their back
turned to them. Jessie stood behind the dark haired girl and cleared her throat.
Unfortunately she was not heard against the lively club noise. 
        "Excuse me," Jessie called out again
        Still, both figures refused to acknowledge her presence.
        Jessie squared her shoulders, grabbed the girl, and spun her stool
around to face her.
Two pairs of eyes widened in shock as they came  face to face with...
        "Do you have a problem, sister?" A deep timbre resonated from the
surprised
brunette
        "OMIGOD!" Jessie exclaimed in utter horror
        "You're a man!" Hadji stammered after her
***
        Race parked the car and tried to calm his breathing, before giving
the two teen-agers in his car a serious look, "Nothing in the code ever
stated getting arrested for causing a brawl in a gay bar or stalking
complete strangers. What in world has gotten into you two?"
       "It was just a simple misunderstanding Dad!" Jessie cried out defensively
       "Misunderstanding?!?! You had five snap shot cartridges!!!" Race
exploded. He
closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "You two are very lucky that  Mr.
Alexander and Mr. Edwins decided not to press charges. But that  does not
make me less... upset about your behaviour. I'm very...  You, young lady and
you, young man  are going to have a  long talk  with me tomorrow morning."
        "iamcalm... iamcalm...," Hadji mumbled absently as he mechanically
walked out of the vehicle and toward the house, his turban slowly unraveling
with each step he took.
        Jessie sighed as she followed his suit. Come to think of it, she did
go over-board. She schemed and stalked, only to land a very embarrassing
scene in the end. and not to mention... HADJI! She actually kissed...
        Hadji's hoarse cry broke through her thoughts. She looked up and saw
him pointing and gaping at the familiar blonde figure before them in disbelief.
        "What happened to you two?" Jonny asked with puzzled grin
        "What are you doing here?" Jessie yelled
        "Hello? I live here..." Jonny replied sardonically
        "This is all your fault!" Jessie snapped accusingly
        Jonny gaped at her in incredulously, "My fault?!?! I was home the
whole evening."
        "home...  whole...  evening...?" Hadji
jabbered almost
inaudibly
        "What about early this evening?" Jessie asked weakly
        "I told you I was just going out to get something from the
lighthouse for a few
minutes."
        " iamcalm..."
        "What about the Gokai?"
        Jonny frowned, "What does Dad's dinner reservation have anything to
do with this?"
        Jessie buried her face in her hands and glanced apologetically at
Hadji, "Hadj..."
        Hadji lifted a hand to stop her from talking, his view of the girl
partially obstructed by a piece of his turban hanging over his eye, "I am calm."
        Jonny looked at his friend with worry now, "What exactly  happened?
Hadji are you okay? You look like as if a dog chewed you up then spat you out."
        Hadji doubled over laughing uncontrollably as he made his way to his
room." I am calm". His turban finally fell off from
its precarious position  he caught it and stared at it with glazed eyes. "
i...am..." With slamming of the door, The young stuffed the fabric in his mouth.
       Jessie simply groaned and buried her head in her arms as a sound
suspiciously similar to a muffled scream echoed through the house. With a
defeated sigh she walked up to the puzzled blonde and bowed her head, "I
give up... you win..."
       "Okay... sure..." Jonny said uncertainly as he watched the girl climb
up the stairs to her room sulkily. He crossed his arms and pondered
thoughtfully, "What exactly did I win from anyway?"

(To be Continued)

Comments, criticisms, bricks to 
inachan2@ican.net AND saige-jin@rocketmail.com

Author's squawk:

         I know I was a little
rough on poor
Hadji-sama, but you know how much Saijin & I love to sabotage anything with
any inkling of HR content... heh-heh...
        Anywayz, I'm really happy to finally get this chapter out. I wrote
and finished the
first draft around the same time Saijin first released the first "Bandit..."
chapter... but due to extraneous unforeseen variables, we were not able to
work on this right away... GOMEN NASAI for the delay! 
        Yep, there are a couple of inside jokes in the fic... so don't
despair if you don't get some of the stuff we concocted. It also helps to
have a handy Japanese-English
dictionary... heh-heh...
        Of course Saijin forgot to insert her author's notes so I'm the only
one babbling
here... But please, send comments to her about this too because we are
equally responsible for this  insanity...
	        
Ja ne!	
Ina-chan 	 


========================================================
Favourite quotes for the moment:

"Hadji baby! Hey man! What's shakin'?"
     -Pasha Peddler, Classic JQ "The Calcutta Adventure"

"Watch the dog... Sim sim salabim, and all that jazz..."
    -Hadji, Classic JQ "The Calcutta Adventure"

Ina-chan
e-mail: inachan2@ican.net
insanity site: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1986
ICQ UIN:  3364641


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