WARNING!!!!!! MATURE CONTENT AND POLITICALLY INCORRECT! DO NOT READ IF YOU
ARE NOT OPEN MINDED OR ARE READY TO LAUNCH A DBN-HR WAR! (That is not the
intention of this insanity fic. This is all for FUN!)
Primetime Insanity News
by Ina-chan
Storm: Salaam and Good Evening. Welcome to another edition
of Insanity Primetime. Eversince its inception, fans of the
Jonny Quest: The Real Adventures series has been debating
this issue...
Jennifer from HRA corner: JONNY AND
JESSIE 4-EVER!!!! 'CUZ IT'S DESTINY!
Alexis from the DBN corner: Denial is a HAAAAAARSH thing!
Lauren AKA. Anaya Zin from HRA:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Storm: And so to end this debate, Insanity Primetime has decided
to find out FROM the source. After recovering from a one month
Prosac therapy overdose, three restraining orders, one stalking
criminal charge, and five rolls of electric tape... electric tape?... ...
ahem! Intrepid Insanity Primetime news reporter, Ina-chan...
Ina-chan: WAI!
Storm: ... has finally convinced Jonny Quest, himself for a
no-holds-barred interview.
Ina-chan: Ya-ho! That's right, Storm-sama! In this very room,
we finally convinced Jonny-san to give us an interview.
Jonny: Wffihuffashoys.
Ina-chan: Uhmm... Canvas-chan, you can take the tape off
now... At last, the question of the
HRism mystery in the series can finally be solved, tonight. And
you heard it here first, at Insanity Primetime, JQML-DBN
channel 423... Hello Jonny-san, how
very kind of you to bless us with your presence.
Jonny: ...
Ina-chan: We at the Jonny Quest Mailing List are honoured
that you are so willing to answer the questions of your everso
loyal fans...
Jonny: ...
Ina-chan: Listen kid, we made a deal, you just answer
my questions, we leave you alone and we take away "Kathie Lee
Sings Karaoke". Or maybe you want to go for another round?
Jonny: It's so good to be here.
Ina-chan: So Jonny-san, tell us... is there a special
GIRL in your life right now.
Canvas: Very direct to the point! NICE!
Jonny: You stalk me for four months, kidnap me,
and tie me up in electric tape just to
ask that stupid question? YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK!
Ina-chan: Then it is true?
You and Jessie are really harbouring a secret romantic love affair...
Jonny: What?
Ina-chan: ... And already plan on getting married...
Jonny: WHAT?!?!?!
Ina-chan: Well is it true?
Jonny: First of all, if I ever get interested into getting into a
relationship, it will be with a girl...
Ina-chan: Are you saying that Jessie is actually a guy who
had a sex change?
Jonny: NO! Well sure she acts like a guy sometimes but...
Ina-chan: You heard it here first, Jonny Quest
says that Jessie Bannon is butch transsexual.
Jonny: STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH! JESSIE IS
A REAL GIRL!
Ina-chan: How does this affect your relationship
with Jessie?
Jonny: Look. I DON'T have a girlfriend.
Jessie is my BESTFRIEND. My father is a world renowned scientific
genius, my best friends are more academically indept than me, an
infinite number of people in various mental stabilities want me and
my family dead, the world expects us to save it from inevitable doom
at lease once a week, and you actually expect me to pursue a relationship
with my best friend who has a father trained by the government to,
don't know, maybe dispose of a body after painful termination.
In case you people are forgetting, I'm only fourteen years old.
I'M STILL GOING THROUGH THE PRESSURES OF PUBERTY HERE!
You people are worse than expiration dates on condoms...
Ina-chan: So you're saying that expiration dates on condoms
are bad...
Jonny: What do condoms have anything
to do with this?
Ina-chan: Hey, you brought it up.
Jonny: I was making an ANALOGY! I don't even use condoms!
Ina-chan: You don't believe in using condoms? As a
famous figure and role model, do you understand the implications
of this comment?
Jonny: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!
Does every word I say, or action I make must have an underlying subtle
meaning? So if I were to give my dog a pat on the head, does that mean
that I am hopelessly in love with my dog?
Ina-chan: What does this have to do with condoms?
Jonny: NOTHING! I DON'T
GIVE A DAMN ABOUT COMDOMS! I DON'T USE CONDOMS!
I'M A VIRGIN DAMMIT!!!!
Ina-chan: ...
Canvas: ...
Storm: ...
HRA people: ...
DBN people: ...
Alexis:
Ina-chan: So I guess this means that rumours about off-screen
lemon scenes were not true...
Ina-chan: WAI! WAI! And there you have it. Jonny
Quest on Insanity Primetime. Join us again next time for an in-depth
interview with... Who's next in the hitlist?
Canvas: Uhmm... the dog.
Ina-chan: Bandit. A boy's bestfriend or
something...
Lee Benet: This is Lee Benet and a strong supporter from the HRA.
It came to our attention that a certain minority group in the ML has
been spreading Anti-HR propaganda by releasing fraudulent, forced
and scripted interviews. We of the JQML-HRA have conducted
our own search for the truth. A search not in vain, for right at this
moment, the REAL Jonny Quest AND Jessie Bannon are hooked to
us on the phone, LIVE... Hello you guys! It's so like nice to hear
from you again!
Jessie: Hey Chrissy!
Lee Benet: Jessie, remember it's
Lee Benet...
Jessie: Oh yeah! You changed your name again?
Lee Benet: So how's Jonny?
Jonny: I love you Jessie.
Jessie: Not yet moron...
Jonny: Nikita already gave the signal...
Voice: ME?
Jonny: You said...
Voice: OK, OK, you're right, it's my fault! It's always
my fault! It's never your fault!
Jessie: Will you two be quiet?
Lee Benet: Oh thrills!
Jessie: Sorry about that. Jonny was just having
an argument with... uhmmm... Hadji...
Lee Benet: Speaking of Hadji...
Jessie: About the stuff in the show, right? Well, it was just
a silly little crush. That was before I realized who I really love. Right,
hon?
Jonny: I love you Jessie.
Lee Benet: But how does Hadji feel about this?
Jonny: Hadji is our best friend, and practically my brother. He will
always be like that to me and to Jessie... But if he in any way comes
between Jessie and me, I'll hack him to little pieces and eat him
for breakfa------OWWW! WHO THREW THAT BRICK?!?!?
Lee Benet: You didn't have to go that far!
Storm: Alright! What's the big idea pirating a perfectly legitimate show?
And what's the big idea with this scripted "I love you Jessie" thing?
Lee Benet: I have no idea what you're talking about...
Storm: Scott?
Jonny: Scott? Who's Scott? I'm Jonny!
Storm: I could recognize that "Ross" voice anywhere!
Lee Benet: This is so not fair! This whole fic is being written by a
DBN. I demand a less biased author!
Storm: HA! Wanna fight for it?
Lee Benet: I'm ready
when you are.
Storm: Let's do it!
[Insanity Prime Time News]
Ina-chan: WAI! WAI! Ina-chan here again!
[Written and insanely concocted by: Ina-chan]
Ina-chan: We're right here, with, yes ladies and gentlemen. As
promised, an interview with... Bandit!
[Special participation of:]
Ina-chan: Glad you can be with
us Bandit!
[the DBN's : Storm and Alexis]
Bandit:< looks curiously at the camera> BARK!
[the HR's: Lauren a.k.a. Anaya Zin, Chrissy "Lee Benet"
Bennet, Jessie Bannon, Scott, and Nikita]
Ina-chan: How can you describe your relationship with the rest
of the Quest team?
[HR person dragged into submission with the prospect of
embarrassing and harassing Jonny: Canvas]
Bandit: GROWL!
[Category: non-continuing (maybe) insanity fic]
Ina-chan: I see. It is tough being under
appreciated by fans, doesn't it? Is there anything you would like
to share with us before we we sign off.
[Archivers: If you don't think it's a waste of time]
Bandit:
Canvas and Production people:
EEEEEEWWWWWW!
Due to infringement of copyright, bad writing and the...
Lance Falk: This is an outrage! Jonny would never act like how
he was portrayed. In fact, it would have been impossible for mere
girls to kidnap and withhold him! And furthermore...
...This would probably be the first and final show of Insanity
Primetime. All Jonny Quest Characters belong to Hanna Barbera.
The rest are figments of a DBN's insanity. No money was made
and thanks for reading this incredibly loooong fic. Lance Falk's
name used without his permission.
JA!
Ina-chan
Comments, criticisms, bricks to... inachan2@ican.net
===============================================================
These are actually sacred teachings from my generation, people who are
currently now in their "young adult stage (late teens to 20's)
Lesson for Da DAY: (from Donna Lypchuck's column on the Eye)
Contrary to what they may tell you, money actually does grow on trees.
where do you think they get the paper they print it on?
Ina-chan
inachan2@ican.net
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