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Date: Sat, 17 Jan 1998 02:30:14 -0500 (EST)
X-Sender: inachan2@mail.ican.net (Unverified)
To: jq@edc.ml.org
From: Ina-chan
Subject: JQ: fic:Union5
Sender: owner-jq@edc.ml.org
Reply-To: jq@edc.ml.org
January 17, 1998
Disclaimer: JQ characters not mine. Gheeta & story all figments of my
imagination. No cash, all for fun.
Rating: Some mature concepts. Nothing graphically explicit ( hentai...).
Archivers: If you want it. Just tell me where.
Summary: Hmmm... the measure of a man? Uh... wait a minute... Nope...
that’s a Ranma1/2 fanfic...
Puerile Union (5/?)
by Ina-chan
“Well?” Jessie looked expectantly at her audience as she fiddled
with a letter opener in her hands. Her three companions looked back at her
blankly.
“That’s it? That’s your plan?” Jonny finally spoke with bewilderment
in his voice
“I know it sounds very simple and cliché, but we don’t exactly have
a lot of time for anything else, do we? I’m open to any suggestions, JONNY?”
Jessie replied irritably
“I think it is a good plan,” Gheeta quipped
Hadji rubbed his temples tiredly, “Let me get this straight. We will
divide into groups. One will stage the scene in an isolated part of the
gardens and the other to lure my mother to witness the ‘event’.”
“Before the ceremony,” Gheeta added
“Before the ceremony,” Hadji repeated
“As well as to witness the ‘reaction’ of the ‘betrayed’ party,”
Jessie said
“Which is?” Hadji inquired
“Well... be creative!” Jessie replied as she started to pace back
and forth dramatically, “Something dark... Something very, very heavy...
Something that Neela would never expect... like maybe uncharacteristic rage
that could possibly lead to the promise of...”
Gheeta glanced at Hadji knowingly, “Brandishing a weapon?”
“Yes! Physical violence!” Jessie emphasized her point by stabbing
the desk with the letter opener and making an evil grin
Hadji glanced at the blonde boy staring at the letter opener
nervously, “Are you all right, my friend? You suddenly look a little pale.”
“Deja vu,” Jonny whispered back
Jessie sighed and looked at the young sultan, “It’s not a guarantee
that the marriage will be dissolved. But it will convince your mother that
neither of you are ready to fulfill your obligations at this point in time.
Basically, it’ll just postpone the public announcement indefinitely and buy
us time until we can figure out a loophole out of this.”
“That is good enough for me at the moment,” Gheeta replied
Hadji nodded in agreement, “I feel very vile deceiving my mother
like this though.”
“In which we wouldn’t have to, if you two would just suck it all in
and tell the truth,” Jessie retorted
Jonny cleared his throat, “Okay, so we don’t have any other options.
Now the problem lies on... who’s going to play Judas?”
A cloud of silence fell in the room as two pairs of eyes looked at
the unwillingly married couple in anticipation. Some unspoken form of
communication passed between the two for a few moments before turning back
to their friends.
“The truth is...” Hadji began, “...it does not really matter for us.
At this point, I can safely say that the both of us will do anything to get
out of this predicament.”
“The decision will actually lie on who is more willing to play the
‘other woman’,” Gheeta agreed, “Or the ‘other man’.”
Another wave of silence engulfed the room as two pairs of eyes began
a staring showdown... both mentally willing the other to back down and
break. Moments turned to seconds, seconds turned to minutes, and minutes
seemed like hours of eternity.
“There has got to be a better way of deciding this!” Gheeta exclaimed
Jonny sighed, “Alright Jessie.”
Jessie grinned eagerly, “Yes Jonny?”
“Being the man...” Jonny said
Jessie raised an eyebrow, but nevertheless nodded.
“I guess it is up to me to make the noble decision,” Jonny
continued, “Agreed?”
“That’s very nice of you, Jonny,” Jessie replied
“Alright... Jessie...” Jonny squared his shoulders. And with a
determined look, he stood up and rolled up his sleeves, “Rock, paper
scissors... best four out of seven!”
***
“I can’t believe he won that!” Jessie yelled for the million and
fifth time
“Calm down Jessie,” Hadji called out comfortingly for the million
and fifth time
Jessie sighed and sat down on the ground beside her best friend,
“It’s just not fair! Why is it that Jonny is so lucky when it comes to
taking chances? It’s almost like he’s destined to win on everything...”
Hadji fiddled with his sash absent mindedly, “Destiny is not a
matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.”
“Well, I definitely did not choose to do this,” Jessie muttered
Hadji looked at her questioningly, “But why did you?”
Jessie shrugged and hugged her knees, “You said so before...
Reopening personal wounds.”
Hadji nodded knowingly, “You do not really have to do this. There is
still time to...”
“Just shut up Hadj,” Jessie laughed nervously, “Don’t complicate
things more by trying to change my mind.”
“The view of the sunset is very beautiful from here,” Hadji said
suddenly to change the subject
“I wish I can say that I’m going to enjoy watching it with you,”
Jessie murmured, “It won’t be too bad. Sure your mother will have a change
of opinion about me, but I’m sure it’ll just be one of those dark family
secrets.” She cocked her head and gave her friend a nervous grin, “Right?”
Hadji grinned back, “I am sure that years from now, we will all look
back and laugh at this foolishness.”
Jessie giggled good naturedly. But it didn’t ease the feeling of
guilt washing through him. The play had already started, and the actors had
started to move to their places. The only way to stop the absurd performance
is to gather up his courage and tell his mother the truth... Yes. Jessie and
Jonny does not deserve to go through this for him.
Without another moment of hesitation, a decision formed in his mind.
Jessie started to laugh hysterically, distracting his train of thoughts.
Hadji turned to the girl in concern, “Jessie?”
“It’s nothing,” Jessie replied wiping tears off her eyes, “I just
had a idea.”
Hadji raised an eyebrow, “And...?”
Jessie giggled again, “I was just wondering if your earlier
‘relations’ pushed through without the knowledge of this one... you’ll be
like... a bigamist.”
Hadji frowned, “I do not particularly want the stains of my past to
be brought up at a time like this.”
“I’m sorry,” Jessie apologized controlling her mirth, “I just find
it sad.”
“Sad?”
“That a seemingly perfect match produces no sparks whatsoever from
either parties.”
“You think that this is perfect match?” Hadji stared at her
incredulously
“No,” Jessie laughed again, “It’s just that Gheeta is a very nice
girl. I know its very difficult to see it from your point of view right now
but you two actually compliment each other.”
“You are not using reverse psychology tactics now, are you?”
Jessie ignored him, “I just think it’s such a waste. Though I don’t
blame her for fighting against this whole thing. I know I would, if I was in
her shoes.”
“Finding out you are married before even knowing what ‘marriage’
means is not exactly one of the most pleasing news in the world.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Hadji frowned, “What exactly do you mean?”
Jessie stared at him in disbelief, “You mean you haven’t figured it
out?”
“Figure what out?”
Jessie snorted, “Jeez! Men can really be so dense.”
“What?”
“Think about it... what other reason can a sheltered, traditionally
raised girl could have to feel so strongly against a traditional ritual?”
“I always assumed that a violation of free will on the subject was
enough. Besides the point, she does not exactly think like a traditional woman.”
“Exactly! She knows how a traditional wife acts, so she’s obviously
trained to be one. So there must be some kind of outside influence that put
all those liberal ideas in her head.”
“What exactly is your point?”
“What if this outside influence is her reason?”
Hadji chuckled, “So you are saying that there really IS another man?”
Jessie sighed melodramatically, “Forbidden puppy love. Perhaps the
one she already set her heart to... alas it is not to be, upon discovering
her supposedly deceased husband is still alive. Come to think of it... that
really sucks! Imagine, technically widowed before you even find out that
you’re married?”
Hadji shook his head, “No. I find that very hard to believe. She
seems so innocent... she does not even know what impotence means.”
“JONNY doesn’t know what impotence means,” Jessie shot back with an
amused smirk, “You’d think he’d have some kind of talk about the subject
after hanging around my Dad so much...”
“That is not exactly a subject men brood about, Jessie,” Hadji
replied quietly, “But still... After all the grown-up activities we have
been indulging in, it would seem very easy to forget, does it not?”
This time, it was Jessie’s turn to look puzzled, “Forget what?”
“As difficult it is to admit,” Hadji replied, “We ARE still children.”
Jessie looked at him in silent agreement.
“I can not let you and Jonny do this,” Hadji said, “I have decided
to...”
The two teens looked up in surprise, then cautiously got on their feet.
“Are they here already?” Hadji whispered
“No,” Jessie answered her eyes narrowing, “That’s not the signal...
Hadj... no one’s supposed to know we’re here!”
“We know you are here,” Hadji called out loudly, “Show yourself!”
A familiar figure walked out of the bushes and smiled at the two
maliciously, “It would seem that I am loosing my touch.”
“You,” Hadji whispered suspiciously
“What are you doing here?” Jessie spat out venomously
The figure laughed, “Well! Quite a welcome! But you two are not the
reason I came here for.”
“Whatever it is that you are here for, we will stop you,” Hadji shot
back
“No, what you will do is sleep,” The figure replied before putting a
mask over her face
Before either teen can react, a popping and hissing sound broke
through the air as a cloudy fog began to engulf their surroundings.
“Jessie!” Hadji called out helplessly to the coughing girl in
warning as he covered his nose and mouth in futile. He began to reach out
for the collapsing girl, only to find out that his own legs had become numb
and rubbery. With the last of his strength, he lunged at the laughing
figure. He stumbled and collapsed into the villain’s arms, just in time to
see in
perfect irony the genuinely shocked images of his friend and his mother
standing in clear view from a short distance. If he wasn’t paralyzed, he
probably would have laughed. His last memory as the tendrils of
unconsciousness clouded his mind was the sound of his wife screaming
overactingly...
“I have been betrayed!”
(To be concluded?)
Comments, criticisms, bricks to inachan2@ican.net
Author’s Squawk:
I know this chapter isn’t as funny as the earlier ones... I can’t
seem to mix action, serious and comedy parts in full synchrony. Oh
well... it’s almost the end anyway. Now if my mind doesn’t make a wild turn
like it did with the final chapter of “Confusing...” the next one should be
the LAST one! PLEASE
LET IT BE THE LAST ONE!
Ina-chan
========================================================
Favourite quotes for the moment:
"Hadji baby! Hey man! What's shakin'?"
-Pasha Peddler, Classic JQ "The Culcatta Adventure"
"Watch the dog... Sim sim salabim, and all that jazz..."
-Hadji, Classic JQ "The Culcatta Adventure"
Ina-chan
e-mail: inachan2@ican.net
insanity site: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1986
ICQ UIN: 3364641
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