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Part II: The Revenge of Who am I?
Dave Barry is funny. I have all of his books, except for that one on home repair, which is out of print and which no bookstore on Earth still has. Nonetheless, I read his column every week (on-line, of course) in the Miami Herald. It has a very methodical style to it which will inevitably lead to usage of the words "booger," "poop," or "Newt Gingrich." Some may consider his humor sophomoric, to which I have no choice but to respond by saying, "so's your mother, doodyhead." I personally think that Dave Barry is doing the best he can in his one-man battle to educate the public to the dangers of exploding toilets, amphibious TV dinners, and medieval devices that can launch Buicks into the air. Dave Barry, ladies and gentlemen. You gotta love 'im.
Update: 7/11/98. Quite by accident, I found that book on home repair in a box I had filled with other books. I feel vindicated now.
What can I say? It's time I talked about Tori Amos. I'd really rather not, because it's still a tender subject, because I must admit that unusual things happen to me when Tori Amos is around (September '96 comes readily to mind), and that I'm a helpless pawn controlled by her seductive siren song. Call it a weakness. I can't say for sure when I got bitten by the Tori bug, but it happened, and there's nothing I can do about it. All I'm going to say is that it probably involves the story "Geraldine," by Ian McDowell and the breastfeeding of a pig, among some other, less concrete things. Her new album, from the choirgirl hotel, came out on May 5, and I seriously suggest you pick it up. The Tori Amos Lyric Database has most all of Tori's lyrics (but they're not always right: "Hey, do you do judo when they sit around you"?!?), and many of the pages include quotes from Tori about the songs, so you can get just a little bit closer to finding out what the hell that girl is talking about. Really Deep Thoughts: the Official Tori Amos Fanzine is a decent enough place to check upcoming TV appearances, magazine interviews, and concert dates for Tori, as well as updates in Tori news. Of course, THE definitive site for anything and everything that is Tori can be found at the Dent in the Tori Amos Net Universe. I'll tell you right now it's a big dent. A big, big dent. Interviews, up-to-the-minute news (literally), concert info, and much, much more can be found here. The Dent receives my absolute highest recommendation for any website ever, and if the Dojo ever creates its own award, the Dent is going to receive it. Its tireless and exhaustive chronicles of the Girl With The Piano will keep you informed about her from now until, quite possibly, the end of time. Did you know she got married in February '98? Damn.
It is said that laughter is the best medicine. Or is that Prozac? I can never remember which, but either way, there are few things I enjoy more than medicating myself with a well-written top ten list. Of course, a TopFive list is only half as good, right? Wrong, brainiac! There are usually 14 to 18 items on a typical TopFive list! I don't know exactly why there are so many, but I think it's in accordance with the Prophecy*.
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