IBL Episode #2, 6/4/01

KC: Welcome to the second ever IBL Firestorm! Tonight, we'll see the quarterfinals and by the end of the show the number of combatants in line for the IBL Championship Orb will be down to four! I'm KC, and I've been joined by a different color commentator, due to MR's absence tonight, a strange man that calls himself the Strobber!

STROBBER: I can guess shoe sizes! It's my power!

KC (looking oddly at Strobber): ...I see...anyway, I guess it's time for our first quarterfinals matchup!

(Bebop and Rocksteady's theme plays and the duo walks out to the ring.)

KC: This wasn't scheduled...niether Bebop or Rocksteady are in the first matchup!

STROBBER: If I was an evil villian like Shredder, actually I guess I have been an evil villian like Shredder, I'd find some better help.

KC: Do you think they're here as part of some evil scheme hatched by Shredder?

STROBBER: Anything is possible in the IBL.

BEBOP: We're out here tonight to address a serious issue in the BLI!

STROBBER: See what I mean?

ROCKSTEADY: Last time on Firestorm, by best buddy Bebop's victory over that icky Spider-Man was swiped from him unfairly!

(Crowd boos.)

KC: I felt it was a fair contest, myself.

BEBOP: That Zando-, Zandi-whatever emporer guy told me I hadda put away my blaster and stop shooting that wussy Spider-Man after I had won!

ROCKSTEADY: And he made a poimanent rule that we can never fight doity again!

BEBOP: We demand to have this changed! It's not fair that we can't do what we do best!

STROBBER: Lose? Heh heh.

ROCKSTEADY(pointing to audience): And he's stealing your money, too! You paid to see us fight the way we are famous for fightin' and then Zandu says we can't!

BEBOP: So come on out and meet our demands, Zandamess! Or else we'll go on strike and sit in dis ring all night so's that no one else can fight!

(Zandemus steps out onto the entryway, but doesn't go all the way to the ring.)

KC: Now business is going to pick up! Our illustrious emporer isn't going to like this insubordination!

ZANDEMUS: First of all, you pathetic slugs, my name is Zandemus! But if you fail to address me as Emporer Zandemus, I will cut both of your tongues out! Secondly, NO ONE makes demands in MY league!

BEBOP(shaking): Please don't kill us...

KC: Coward.

ZANDEMUS: Silence! Your "demands" do make some sense! Though I did change the rules so that no weapons and super powers are allowed, having no-holds-barred battles does still sound entertaining. So I will start a No-Holds-Barred division, with a Championship Orb for the best No-Holds-Barred combatant! All battles in the No-Holds-Barred Division will be just as they sound; anything goes. A tournament will begin tonight to determine the first NHB champion, in which you two just entered your names! Any other combatant that is out of the main tournament may sign up for matches in this tournament immediately! The NHB Championship Orb will have no powers, however your small brains may find comfort in the fact that it represents the dirtiest, nastiest, and all around toughest fighter in the IBL! Now get out of my ring and let my show begin!

(Zandemus exits, followed by Bebop and Rocksteady.)

STROBBER: Did you hear that?

KC: A No-Holds-Barred Division! This will make for some very interesting and probably viscious matches, judging by our roster!

STROBBER: That emporer actually caved to Bebop and Rocksteady's demands!

KC: I doubt that! It just seems like he provided a new entertainment idea that was similar to what the mutants wanted. It'll be interesting to see who enters the tournament!

(Venom's music signals his entrance to the ring.)

VENOM: Oh Spi-DEEEYYYYY! Come out and play with us!

(Spider-Man swings out to the ring.)

KC: These two have a huge history and some classic confrontations!

STROBBER: This should be great!

KC: Spider-Man is wasting no time in laying into Venom with some rapid punches! Unfortunately, Venom does have the strength advantage!

STROBBER: And he just demonstrated it by ramming Spidey's head with a mean right hook!

KC: Spider-Man is slightly staggered, but still on his feet and ready for action!

STROBBER: It's going to be hard for Spidey to beat Venom without relaying on his webbing! And even though his spider-sense can't be shut off, making it legal, Venom doesn't register on it!

KC: Spider-Man just tried to topple Venom with a low kick, but to no avail. Venom is laughing! He's trying to land another blow on the webbed one, but Spidey's agility aided him this time and the blow missed!  

KC: Spider-Man just dropped to the mat and grabbed Venom's leg, yanking it out from under him!

STROBBER: There's the old Spidey Strength!  

KC: Spider-Man is quickly going to the top of the ring post and attempting to pounce on Brock! No! Venom sat up too quick and just got out of the way! Now he's got Spider-Man in a headlock and they're both getting to their feet!

STROBBER: Venom looks hungry...

KC: He is! He's biting down on Spider-Man's head! He's trying to eat his brain!

STROBBER: Brains is good food!

KC: But wait! Spider-Man just elbowed Venom and managed to break the hold! Now he's lifting him over his head and...BAM! Venom was just slammed into the mat! Again! BAM! And AGAIN! SLAM!

(Crowd cheers and chants "Spi-dey! Spi-dey!")

STROBBER: I never thought Spidey would out-strength Venom!

KC: Venom is down in front of a ring post! Spider-Man is climbing it--no he's stepping back and away from the ring post...Whoa! He just did a triple backflip and landed on the top of the opposite ring post! He's going to jump! He just cleared the entire distance of the ring, diagonally! SLAM! He hit Venom dead on!

STROBBER: Spidey-Agility comes in handy!

KC: He's going for the pin! Wait! It's Bebop and Rocksteady!


KC: They're coming out the entrance...but they can't! They're feet are stuck in something!

STROBBER: Maybe this arena was a stable at one point...

KC: I think it's web-fluid! Spider-Man must have prepared this before the battle! And he's still got Venom pinned!


KC: It's over! Spider-Man has beaten Venom and will advance to the semi-finals! He really seems to want that championship badly!

STROBBER: Keep in mind that he is a do-gooder and probably wants to stop it from falling into evil hands!

KC: That's very true!

KC: Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be going live momentarily backstage where Hermy will speak briefly to Mega Man before his battle with Magneto. If you missed the first show, Mega Man had a surprise opponent!

STROBBER: Yeah, his own brother, Proto Man!

KC: Mega Man stopped Protoman and won the battle by altering his brother's circuits, but after the show we found out that Proto Man had regained consciousness and escaped the Blue Bomber's custody!

(Backstage, Hermy prepares to interview Mega Man.)

HERMY: Mega Man, is it true that Proto Man escaped from you after your battle last time?

MEGA MAN: Yes, and I've spent most of the time since then looking for him. I decided to show up for my battle tonight, because it may draw him out.

HERMY: Do you have any idea why your brother might have attacked you?

MEGA MAN: No, but I've got a mega-hunch that my arch-enemy Dr. Wily is behind this. He's done stuff like this before.

HERMY: As for your battle with Magneto tonight; are you in any way nervous about going up against someone who can control all metals, when you yourself are primarily metallic?

MEGA MAN: Well, I have had trouble tangling with enemies that can control magnetism before, such as Magnet Man, but I've always come out on top. But the rules state that he can't use those powers, so everything should be all set.

HERMY: Thanks, Mega Man, and good luck on your match!

KC: And speaking of the match, Magneto is heading out!

STROBBER: He'll cheat, no question. I saw what he did to Raphael during the last show.

KC: I hope that doesn't happen, but it is a possibility.

STROBBER: It's more than a possibility. Trust me, I know. I'm a supervillian.

(Mega Man’s music hits and he enters the ring.)

STROBBER: If it should all remain fair and happy, it might be a fair matchup. Both combatants are used to relying on special abilities.

KC: Magneto is wasting no time in knocking the rather small Mega Man to the ground.

STROBBER: Mega Man is metal and he shouldn’t be able to get knocked down so easy.

KC: What’s your point?

STROBBER: Put two and two together.

KC: Magneto was about to lunge down on Mega Man but the Blue Bomber slid between Magneto’s legs! And now he’s giving the Master of Magnetism a taste of getting knocked down. He’s waiting for Magneto to get to his feet.

STROBBER: Bad idea. Nice guys always finish last.

KC: Sock! Mega Man just rammed his metal fist into Magneto’s chest plate shattering it! I don’t know if he knows his own strength! Magneto isn’t happy! He’s using his helmet as an advantage and going for a headbutt! Ouch! Mega Man’s head is even harder than the helmet!

STROBBER: I don’t think Magneto looks very happy!

KC: Mega Man took advantage of Magneto’s dizziness and is holding him down on the mat for a pin!


KC: What? Mega Man just fell over backwards and off of Magneto!

STROBBER: Gee, I didn’t expect anything like this to happen.

KC: Magneto’s going for the pin! Mega Man is trying to move but he can’t!


KC: He cheated! Magneto won, but he cheated!

STROBBER: Cheaters always win!

KC: Now Magneto will advance to the semi-finals and take on Spider-Man—Wait! The whistle!

(Proto Man teleports down into the ring as Mega Man gets to his feet. Magneto is already floating his way out of the arena.)

MEGA MAN: Proto Man! Where in the seven circuits have you been?

(Proto Man fires a few shows at Mega Man, knocking him over, then teleports away.)

MEGA MAN: Ugh! No, wait!

(Mega Man teleports after him.)

STROBBER: It’s a bad night to be Mega Man.

KC: You can say that again! I wonder where they went?

STROBBER: Well, we know where Wolverine just went. Look at the monitor!

(Backstage, Wolverine comes out of Zandemus’s throne chamber grinning.)

WOLVERINE: This is gonna be fun.

Goliath also walks out.)

GOLIATH: This might prove to be an interesting challenge.

(In Bebop, Rocksteady, and Shredder’s dressing room, the mutants also watch these events on their own monitor.)

BEBOP: Oh goodie! Lots of people like our idea!

ROCKSTEADY: Didja see us earlier, boss? We had that Zandoodoo scared out of his robes!

BEBOP: Ain’t we assertive?

SHREDDER: Stop pestering me, you cretins! I must prepare for my battle tonight!

ROCKSTEADY: Are you gonna be in our No-Holds-Barred division, too?

SHREDDER: No! Unlike you two morons, I’m still in the tournament for the REAL prize! But wait…I suddenly have a brilliantly evil idea! Stay here, I’ve got to go talk to someone.

(Shredder quickly leaves the dressing room.)

KC: What do you supposed he’s up to?

STROBBER: Beats me, but I bet it’s bad! And the badder the better! Mwa ha ha!

KC: Well Rocksteady better get his butt out here! He’s in the first ever NHB division battle against Goliath next!

(Goliath’s music plays as he glides out to the ring.)

STROBBER: Goliath is known as one of the best warriors on Earth. The version of Earth he comes from, anyway.

KC: Very true. Rocksteady seemed happy about this battle backstage, but I wonder if he and his chum have really thought this thing through.

STROBBER: I don’t think they think at all.

(Rocksteady enters the ring to his music, with a small laser blaster in hand.)

KC: And it appears this battle has begun! Rocksteady is already firing madly at Goliath, who is wrapped up in his wings for protection.

STROBBER: Not much protection; that’s still living tissue.

KC: Goliath just threw his wings back and roared, causing Rocksteady to stumbled back in fright and drop his blaster. And Goliath just stomped it into a million pieces, but it exploded causing him to burn his left foot!

STROBBER: There goes the oaf’s advantage!

KC: But with a price! Goliath is having a little bit of trouble walking!

STROBBER: And Rocksteady just took advantage of it by barreling Goliath over!

KC: He’s got a much larger laser blaster strapped to his back and he’s using now got it out! He’s firing like mad at the fallen Goliath who is roaring in pain!

STROBBER: He needs to take to the air!

KC: Using his tail, Goliath swept Rocksteady off his feet. Now the gargoyle is climbing the ring post and gliding into the air. He’s gliding over Rocksteady, ready to make a diving attack, but Rocksteady just fired into the air!

STROBBER: But Goliath managed to dodge and is maintaining his aerial position!

KC: Oh my god! The laser hit one of the lights instead, and it’s coming down onto Goliath’s head! It just broke in two!

STROBBER: The gargoyle is down and looks to be unconscious!

KC: This is brutal! Rocksteady is ending it by pinning Goliath.


KC: Rocksteady moves on in the No-Holds-Barred Tournament! Goliath is getting to his feet, and stumbling out of the arena!

STROBBER: Never seen him looking so weak.

(Backstage, Shredder is seen leaving the Joker’s dressing room.)

STROBBER: If Shredder and the Joker are working together, it could be bad news.

KC: Well, as we saw last time, they ganged up on Michaelangelo and Raphael, but it’s looking more and more like this could be a permanent alliance!

STROBBER: It would be a tough alliance to overcome!

KC: Time for the next battle!

(Shredder’s entrance music hits and he enters the arena followed by Bebop and Rocksteady.)

KC: What are those two doing out here?

STROBBER: I think they’re coming over here!

(Bebop and Rocksteady sit down beside KC and Strobber and put on headsets.)

KC: Um, why are you two out here?

BEBOP: ‘Cause dis is our night!

ROCKSTEADY: Yeah. We made up a whole new division, and I beat dat stupid gargoyle!

BEBOP: So we wanted a ringside seat to watch our boss cream dat He-Man!

KC: Sort of like He-Man did to Rocksteady last time?

ROCKSTEADY: We got back at him, until that lousy Spidah-Man helped him! It wasn’t fair!

BEBOP: I don’t like neither of dem!

(He-Man enters the ring.)

KC: And speaking of He-Man, here he is! The battle has begun!

KC: Shredder has been stripped of any armor with blades on it, due to blades being illegal. He seems very confident as he begins punch and kicking He-Man will speed and precision that comes only from ninja masters.

STROBBER: It doesn’t seem to be phasing He-Man in the least!

ROCKSTEADY: Well that’s just the beginning! Just wait till you see what he has in store for that musclehead!

KC: He-Man just gave Shredder a small tap to the jaw, and Shredder is down!

BEBOP: Hey! Leave our boss alone!

KC: Maybe this is what he deserves, after what he did to beat Batman!

BEBOP: Maybe you deserve a kick in da teeth!

KC: Why are you guys out here anyway? Are you planning on helping Shredder win like you did when he fought Batman?

BEBOP: Dat’s it!

ROCKSTEADY: Calm down, Bebop! We gotta keep track of the battle!

STROBBER: While you three have been chatting, He-Man has been dominating Shredder! He’s pulling his punches, but Shredder is starting to look a bit banged up!

KC: If you recall, he sustained a decent amount of injury at the hands of Batman.

BEBOP: C’mon, boss! Let ‘im have it!

KC: He-Man has lifted him in the air with one hand…and SLAM! Shredder is down and unconscious! He-Man just used the same move he beat Rocksteady with!

STROBBER: And speaking of Rocksteady, he and Bebop just split!

KC: They just knocked down the ref! Now they’re in the ring, grappling with He-Man!

STROBBER: Bebop and Rocksteady together might actually be strong enough to stop He-Man!

KC: Bebop is holding down He-Man’s body while Rocksteady has him in a sleeper hold! Is he…he is! He-Man is out!

STROBBER: Bebop just laid Shredder over He-Man, and the ref is waking up!

KC: He thinks it’s a pin! It’s not fair! He-Man had it won!


STROBBER: Shredder and his mutants are certainly making a name for themselves!

KC: And a bad one at that! The mutants are carrying Shredder out, and He-Man is quickly coming to his senses and figuring out what happened.

STROBBER: Now we’ll have Shredder versus either Michaelangelo or Skeletor in the semi-finals!

KC: And I have a feeling Shredder will do everything in his power to stop Michaelangelo from advancing, just like he tried to do last time!

STROBBER: Could the Joker plot have something to do with stopping Michaelangelo?

(Joker trots out to the ring to his music, with a big smile on his face.)

KC: Here he comes! Why don’t you ask him?

STROBBER: He might tell me! I am a fellow villain, after all!

KC: I should point out that the Clown Prince of Crime does not have a battle scheduled for tonight!

JOKER: Greeeetings, ladies and germs! Welcome to the Joker portion of tonight’s program! If you may recall, last time a comic tragedy occurred! Some mindless little turtle actually attempted to out-prank me!!

KC: I’d say he succeeded!

JOKER: But I’m still smiling! In fact, I know that in due time I will reclaim my status as the master of comedy! I wanted that to be tonight, however the emperor has the Turtle busy with a quarterfinals match, and won’t reconsider changing it! But I’m a patient guy, and I’m happy to play with his brother! That’s right; I’m challenging you to a battle, so Picasso or Grandma Moses or whatever your name is, COME ON DOWN!

(The Ninja Turtles Theme Song plays as Raphael and Michaelangelo both step out into the arena, but keep their distance from the ring.)

MICHAELANGELO: Dude, you are such a sore loser! You’re just steamed because I’m still in the tournament, even though you tried some most unhip cheating! You even had help from the Shredmeister and you still couldn’t pin me! And just for the record, I am like totally the top prankster, not some silly clown-wannabe like you!

JOKER(visibly angry): Grrrrrr….how DARE you talk to me that way, you amateur amphibian!

RAPHAEL: Actually, we’re reptiles! Guess you’re second-best in zoology, too!

(Raphael and Michaelangelo high-five each other.)

JOKER: You’ll get yours tonight, red! And as for you, dude, I’ll prove to you that I’m the Prince of Pranks, whether it be here in the ring, or somewhere else!

RAPHAEL: Whoa! I didn’t accept your challenge, chuckles! As far as I’m concerned, you can bend over and shove that pointy nose of yours straight up your pasty white butt!

(The crowd cheers loudly.)

JOKER(suddenly calm): I didn’t THINK you had the guts! By the way, when was the last time you had YOUR face on the cover of a comic book?

RAPHAEL: Why you little—

JOKER: Temper, temper! If you really want me so bad, you’ll have to face me! By the way, I want this battle to be part of the No-Holds-Barred tournament! Anything goes; even those little salad forks stuck to your waist!

(Raphael and Michaelangelo discuss something secretly for a few seconds.)

RAPHAEL: Fine, smiley! I accept your challenge! That way, both of us turtles will be in line for a championship!

JOKER: I KNEW you’d see it my way! This ends the first Joker portion of tonight’s show! Be sure to stick around for the fun later on, as I turn this angry turtle’s frown upside-down! HA HA HA HA HAAAA!

STROBBER: Sure is a happy guy.

KC: Can you believe it? Raphael and the Joker, No-Hold-Barred, tonight!

STROBBER: And what about Michaelangelo? The Joker said he’d go after him anywhere!

KC: This is certainly developing into what might be a huge rivalry here in the IBL! And what about Shredder? How does he fit in?

STROBBER: Batman was involved last time, too, don’t forget.

KC: Yes, but we found out before the show that Batman will not be here tonight, due to some pressing business in Gotham. So hopefully the two turtles haven’t bitten off more than they can chew!

(The arena is now cleared, until Bebop enters the ring.)

KC: Time for our second of what I guess will be three No-Holds-Barred tournament battles for tonight!

(Wolverine heads out to the ring, ready to rumble.)

STROBBER: If anyone on our roster personifies No-Holds-Barred fighting, it’s Wolverine! He’s rumbled with the best of them, and come out on top!

KC: Bebop just moved to fire his large, two-handed laser blaster, but Wolverine just sliced it to pieces with his adamantium claws!

STROBBER: Bebop’s not happy about this; he’s moving to punch Wolverine!

KC: But the X-Man is much too quick and just let his claws go to work on Bebop’s arms!

STROBBER: I think Bebop is a little surprised that he’s losing in his supposed new division.

KC: Bebop just managed to grab Wolverine and has him lifted into the air! But Wolverine just freed himself by kicking Bebop square in the jaw!

STROBBER: Wolverine is moving in for some more furious swipes…

KC: Bebop just slammed Wolverine with the force of his whole body, knocking Wolverine to the mat! Bebop was ready this time! Now he’s got a chain! He’s wrapped it around Wolverine’s throat!

STROBBER: Is he gonna do what I think he’s gonna do?

KC: Bebop’s running for the ends of the ring, and with a mighty throw, has hurled Wolverine into the air using the chain around his neck! LOOK OUT!

(Wolverine crashes through the announcers’ table, breaking it in half.)

KC: I don’t believe it!! Bebop may have actually turned the tide against Wolverine!!

STROBBER: He’s going for his trusty backup laser blaster…

KC: He’s open-firing on the fallen Wolverine! But Wolverine is already up, and flying back to the ring, in a berserker rage! The lasers aren’t affecting him in the least! Bebop might as well be throwing spitballs!

STROBBER: I think Bebop is a little scared…

KC: Wolverine is hacking him up! This is almost going too far, but it’s all legal in an NHB battle!

STROBBER: Bebop’s down! Wolverine is regainly his composure slightly, and going for the pin!


KC: Wolverine has done it! He’s moving on in the NHB tournament! And Bebop is very banged up!

STROBBER: Wolverine is the best he is at what he does!

KC: Rocksteady is out here helping his buddy out of the arena.

STROBBER: So as of now, we’ve got Rocksteady and Wolverine as potential NHB champions.

KC: And they will soon be joined by either Joker or Raphael, depending on the outcome of tonight’s battle, which we’ve learned will be tonight’s main event!

STROBBER: But we still have one more battle before that!

KC: Yes, our last quarter-finals battle! We’ve seen Spider-Man defeat Venom, Magneto defeat Mega Man, and Shredder defeat He-Man, though in my opinion Spider-Man is the only one with a clean win! Spider-Man will face Magneto in a semi-finals battle next time, and Shredder will face the winner of the next bout; either Michaelangelo or Skeletor!

STROBBER: The line for the championship orb is getting smaller and smaller!

(Backstage, Raphael and Michaelangelo are talking in their dressing room.)

RAPHAEL: Good luck tonight! Turtles everywhere are counting on you!

MICHAELANGELO: This’ll be no sweat! How tough can a dude with an empty skull for a head be?

RAPHAEL: Just watch out for any Shredder or Joker surprises!

MICHAELANGELO: You, too, dude!

(Back in the arena, a smoky explosion signals Skeletor’s entrance.)

STROBBER: Here’s our local master of the dark arts! Who do you think will come out on top?

KC: Well, Michaelangelo is probably the better fighter, but we saw Skeletor beat Goliath last time in a very questionable fashion! I’m not sure what will happen!

(Michaelangelo enters the ring. The referee confiscates Michaelangelo’s nunchaku and Skeletor’s havoc staff.)

KC: And it’s on! Skeletor just went for a punch, but Michaelangelo easily dodged it!

STROBBER: Skeletor is chasing after the Ninja Turtle and calling him a “reptilian coward”!

KC: Michaelangelo just leapt up to the top of the ringpost and he’s leaping off! His outstretched left arm just connected with Skeletor’s jaw in a high-flying clothesline!

STROBBER: Michaelangelo, being the fair fighter that he is, is waiting for Skeletor to get back to his feet.

KC: I don’t think Skeletor is sure how to go about this without his magic! Michaelangelo just grabbed his left arm and flipped Skeletor back down on his back!

STROBBER: Skeletor is visibly angry now, as he gets back to his feet and charges at Michaelangelo!

KC: Michaelangelo moved out of the way, and Skeletor just smacked into a ring post!

STROBBER: Michaelangelo is cornering Skeletor…

KC: But Skeletor just sucker-punched Michaelangelo in the face! But the turtle returned it in kind with a ninja-kick to gut! Skeletor is down!


KC: Yes! Michaelangelo is going for the Pizza Toss! He’s got Skeletor lifted over him and he’s throwing him into the air! SLAM! Skeletor just hit the mat!

STROBBER: Hey, it’s Shredder!

KC: Oh no! A banaged Shredder just ran out here and grabbed the ref’s feet out from under him! The ref is down! Now Shredder is firing a laser blaster at Michaelangelo from outside the ring!

STROBBER: It hit! Michaelangelo is down! Shredder’s in the ring now, putting Skeletor’s fallen body over the turtle!

KC: Is the ref going to give Skeletor the win?! No! He’s calling for the bell! He must have seen what happened! Michaelangelo wins via disqualification! Shredder is beside himself!

STROBBER: Skeletor looks pretty mad, too! He’s getting to his feet and chasing Shredder out of the arena!

KC: He didn’t forget his havoc staff, either, so Shredder better watch out!

STROBBER: Looks like the tables turned on Mr. Shredder!

KC: And he’ll pay for it, too! He’ll have to face Michaelangelo in the semi-finals next time!

STROBBER: And now the one we’ve been waiting for since…well, since like two battles ago.

KC: Yes, the surprise main event is about to start! Can Raphael overcome the maniacal Joker?

STROBBER: And what part will Shredder play? It’s a safe bet that this No-Holds-Barred battle was at least partially his idea!

(The Joker makes his entrance towards a now empty ring.)

KC: We’re about to find out, because here comes the Joker!

(Raphael quickly follows, with sais in hand.)

KC: And this contest has begun! Raphael is swiping his sais at the Joker, but the elusive Joker always seems to get just out of reach!

STROBBER: Raphael does seem to be herding Joker to the corner, though.

KC: And he gets him there! The Joker has no where to run now! Raphael swings and…Joker slid down to the mat, and right between Raphael’s legs! And he’s following with a quick but powerful uppercut to the back of Raphael’s head!

STROBBER: That surprised the turtle! He just went face-first into the ring post! Now Joker is hitting him again and again! Raphael isn’t taking these punches very well!

KC: Raphael does look a little shaken, but I think the turtle can probably take it! He’s turning around to launch a counter-attack of his own against the Joker! But the Joker is raising his fist and…

STROBBER: WHAM! A spring-loaded punching fist just flew from Joker’s arm and cracked on Raphael’s skull! He’s down on the mat flat on his shell!

KC: That sneaky son of a gun!

STROBBER: Well, anything goes in a No-Holds-Barred battle!

KC: Now Joker’s going for the pin!


KC: And Raphael kicked out! He’s still got some fight left in him!

STROBBER: He’s visibly angry at the recent turn of events!

KC: Raphael just kicked Joker in the gut! And he follows through with his own uppercut to Joker’s head, only he’s using the butte of his sai! Now he’s got Joker’s arm! Raphael flipped Joker over his head and onto his back!

STROBBER: It looks like Raphael is headed for the ring post…better be careful after what happened last time!

KC: He’s climbing it! Raphael is going for the Shell Shocker! But wait! Joker just melted the ring post with a spray from his acid flower! Raphael is going down on his face outside the ring!

STROBBER: What did I tell ya?

KC: I hate to say it, but Joker just may have more tricks up his sleeve than Raphael! Joker’s running toward the corner, like he’s going to leap off and pounce on the fallen turtle! He did it! But Raphael held up his sai at the last second and now there’s a huge gash in Joker’s arm!

STROBBER: yes">  No-Holds-Barred battles are cool!

KC: Raphael is up and going for the ring bell! Joker is moving to get up, as well, but Raphael just clocked him in the head with the ring bell! Joker is down and unconscious!

STROBBER: I think Raphael just turned the tide of battle…

KC: The ring bell just exploded! It was a laser blast from Shredder! He’s out here to help his new partner in crime! Raphael is going after Shredder!

STROBBER: But in a huge puff of smoke—it’s Skeletor!

KC: Skeletor is aiming his havoc staff at Shredder and firing a green ray at him!

STROBBER: It turned Shredder into a salamander! It’s Skeletor’s revenge on Shredder for costing him a quarterfinals win!

KC: Skeletor just vanished, and now Bebop and Rocksteady are out here to claim their helmet-clad salamander of a boss! Raphael is just standing back and watching this whole sight!

STROBBER: Bad idea, because Joker is standing up behind him and throwing an exploding doll at his back!

KC: KA-BOOM! Raphael is down on his knees! Luckily his shell protected him from most of the blast, but he’s got visible burns on the back of his head!

STROBBER: His mask is looking a little singed, too!

KC: Raphael has had it! He’s charging at Joker, but Joker just caught him in the leg with a razor-sharp playing card! Raphael is staggered, but he’s still on his feet! Joker just gave him a left hook to the side of the head and a right to the other side! And another left and another right! And he just won’t let up!

STROBBER: It’s Joker’s Punchline move!

KC: Now Raphael is down! Burned, stabbed in the leg, and banged up from the punishment he’s taken. Joker is ending this by going for the pin outside the ring!

STROBBER: Falls count anywhere in a No-Holds-Barred battle, whether it be in or out of the ring!


KC: He kicked out! I don’t believe it!! Raphael summoned the strength to kick out!!

STROBBER: Joker can’t believe it, either!

KC: Both combatants are still down on the floor, and Raphael is pulling something out of his belt! It’s a Turtle-Comm!

STROBBER: What’s he going to do? Call for help?

KC: No! He just smashed it upside Joker’s head! It shattered into a million pieces! The Joker has been knocked back out! Raphael’s getting to his feet! He’s dragging the Joker by his collar over towards us!

STROBBER: What’s he doing?

KC: I think he wanted our table! But Bebop already sent Wolverine through it tonight! It’s destroyed!

STROBBER: He’s getting something from under the ring!

KC: It’s a spare table!

STROBBER: Hey, how come we weren’t informed of extra tables under the ring?

KC: Raphael just set up the table and put the Joker on it, face-up! He’s getting back into the ring, and climbing a ring post!

STROBBER: He’s turning his back to the table below!

(The crowd goes nuts with anticipation.)

KC: THE SHELL SHOCKER! Raphael just leaped off and went shell-first onto Joker, shattering the table!! Raphael is going for the pin on the broken table!!


KC: He did it! Raphael did it! He went through all of the Joker’s punishment, but still managed to outdo him!!

STROBBER: What a battle!! Both Raphael and the Joker are laid out on the floor, hurt and exhausted!!

KC: What a night! A new division! Rocksteady, Wolverine, and Raphael in line for the new No-Holds-Barred Championship!! Spider-Man, Magneto, Shredder, and Michaelangelo in line for the IBL Championship!! Both will be decided next time on Firestorm!!!