Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 11:03:07 EDT
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Subject: NA: Alone at the Shrine?

Hope all are having a happy Memorial Day.

Just an idea for the long weekend (which began yesterday, but I was
busy).  How about a round robin tale of what's going on at the Shrine? 
Anyone who joins in gives permission for their *character* to be used in
the tale.

I'll even begin.  If this fizzles, no problemo.  Just thought it might be
fun to provide mail for those at home, thirsting for Nunkies.

Summer Doldrums . . . or, how I spent my weekend at the Shrine
by . . . hopefully various people 

"Hello!"  Patt called cheerfully into the long hallway as she stepped
through the alley doorway, *private entrance* to the Sacred Shrine to
Nunkies.  She set her suitcase down and took a moment to breathe in. 
Fragrant incense and the scent of white roses clung to the air.  The
mature Cousin smiled. . . nothing like coming home after a long absence.

It had taken the Third Cousin quite awhile to put her personal family
affairs in order.  She'd kept touch with NA activities through e-mail
correspondences with friends, but it wasn't anything like being in the
Toronto-based hub of Nunkieness.  The Shrine was the heart, the soul, of
Nunkies-worshiping.  Being away from it led to stray thoughts of
others--not bad thoughts, mind you.  Just stray.

When Patt found herself victim of a lustful urge for a foreign gentleman,
she knew it was time to head for Canada.  She packed her clothes, kissed
her Mom, hugged the dogs, smooched her photo of Oded, then headed the
pickup truck north.  Three days later she was stepping across the Shrine
threshold, looking forward to a good wallow in addiction.

"Hello!" she shouted again.  No reply, except the bouncing echo of her
own shrill voice.  Patt winced.  "Well," she mumbled, "they're not
worshiping in the anterooms, so maybe they're all in the main hall." 
Then a terrible thought crossed Patt's mind, quickening her step.  "Sure
hope the HP didn't call a special meeting, and I'm late for it.  She gets
pretty darn testy when an NA comes in late for a gathering . . ."

Patt stepped gingerly into the main hall and cast a furtive glance around
the massive room.  No sign of human, or non-human for that matter, life.
A confused look crossed the Third Cousin's brow.  The last time it was
this quiet was during the W . . .

The mature one dropped her canvas bag with a resounding thump  "HELLO?" 
Just a tinge of panic permeated Patt's voice.  [They couldn't have
declared WAR while I was gone.  They couldn't have!  I can't have walked
right into a seige and be surrounded by Dark Perks or Mercs or any of
those other IRK-some people who live to make an NA's life miserable.  I
can't have!!] 

"HELLLLLOOOOOO!!!!!!"   Patt was moving quickly now--her trotting version
of a run.  She darted through the main area into the kitchen/lab.  No
one.  She hurried to the back of the Shrine, peeking into the Green Room,
the Library, the many other rooms where NAs congregated to revel in their
addiction.  No one . . .

The Sacred Pond was empty, except for the gastly cold visage of Screed's
face, sandblasted into the bottom.  [Well,] Patt thought, [I wouldn't
really want to swim in there either, I guess.]  She glanced at Screed's
smirking face, winced again and fled from the room.

The Sacred Cold Showers were void of near-meltdown bodies.  The Sacred
Sauna was much less than steamy.  

Patt was quite worried, not quite scared.  Even in wartime, the
metal-plated Not-So-Vestal-Virgins would be present, armed to the teeth
with chocolate and watchful of all entrants to the premises.

Patt ran back into the great hall, passing quickly to the entryway which
connected the Shrine to the Jeweled Peach restaurant.  A large wire gate
had been strung across the connecting way, effectively eliminating any
entrance to the eating establishment from the NA side, and vice versa. 
Patt noted with shock that the gate was padlocked, and no amount of
shaking would open the way.

The Third Cousin fell back into the great room, breathing heavily.  Her
knees were quaking and her lungs felt full of fire.  Something awful,
beyond words, must have happened to bring the Shrine to such a state of
isolated ruin.  

The thought hit Patt with such intensity she felt she'd suffered a blow.

Cousin shrieked.  

She turned to run, to flee from this den of silence and stife, but as she
did she encountered total darkness, a wall of black before her eyes.  

Patt reached out, tentatively touching the void.  It was soft, silky, and
yielded slightly to her probing fingers.  Patt slowly began looking
upward, then gasped in an absurd combination of pain, pleasure, angst,
etc., at the face which was staring down at her.



End part 1


Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 12:08:29 EDT
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--part 2

Summer Doldrums . . . or, how I spent my weekend at the Shrine
Segment 2 -- Where, oh where, did all the NA's go?
by Patt Elmore


Patt whirled quickly, but not quickly enough to avoid the claw-like clasp
of Uncle's hand on her shoulder.  LaCroix turned the Third Cousin back to
face him, and Patt reacted with instinctive emotion.

She shrieked.  

Uncle narrowed his eyes, giving the wayward NA his most decisive
non-verbal repremand.  Patt's pitch only increased, her wail seeming even
more loud than usual, due to the emptiness of the room.

Finally, Patt quieted, her throat now scratchy and constricted with
overuse.  During her scream, LaCroix had remained motionless, except for
certain facial gestures of discontent.  Now, as the Third Cousin's
shouting subsided, LaCroix cleared his voice and addressed her pointedly.

"So nice of you to make an appearance, Ms. Elmore.   I would have
appreciated more promptness, though."

"Huhhh?"  Patt was vaguely aware that her jaw had dropped to her knees. 
Little things began to come at her like flies . . . Uncle had not shaken
her aggressively to silence, he was addressing her politely, he wasn't
threatening to kill her . . .

"My request for your presence went out two days ago," LaCroix continued,
releasing his hold on the NA's shoulder.  "I would have expected your
arrival to be more . . . timely."

Patt gulped.  "I left Louisiana three days ago, Sir.  I was on the road
and didn't get your message, I guess."

LaCroix smiled . . . almost softly.  Patt suddenly felt as giddy as Fleur
must have felt.  Her knees almost buckled again, but she remained
standing through sheer force of will.

"Psychic premonition?" LaCroix continued to smile.  "I don't know whether
to be pleased or frightened, Ms. Elmore, especially when considering the
link is with you."  

[Still LaCroix.] Patt shook off the Fleur-ish mode and grinned inwardly. 
Then she frowned.  "Where is everybody?  Where's Louis?"

"Msr. Cabon is in Florida for the week . . . vacationing," LaCroix
replied smoothly. "Your NA sisters are either non-disposed or running
errands on my behalf."

"Errands?" Patt's eyes narrowed with suspicion.  

LaCroix smiled . . . this time, the sharkish, cold smile of absolute
control. "Errands," he repeated.

Patt waited until LaCroix was ready to continue.  His long pause was for
drama's sake, and he was obviously pleased that the very verbal mature
cousin was listening intently.  

"As you are aware," he finally began again, "the *NunkMommy* has
announced her return to the Shrine.  This was perhaps the most
pleasurable news related to my addictive followers that I have received in
a long, long time.  Her reappearance is especially helpful now that so
many new, young addicts are cluttering the premises--they need guidance,
purpose, rules . . ."

"Grout duty," Patt muttered.

LaCroix ignored her, " . . . and leadership so that they can best reach
their goal of enlightened worship of . . . ME."  The cold, impassioned
grin again.  "When the current NA first came into being several years
ago, I admit I was unsure of how I felt about having a distinct following
again.  But, I must admit, your activities have *amused* me . . . most of
the time. I would miss not having you about."

"You would?"  Patt felt her ego bloating.

LaCroix stared at her for a moment.  "Well . . . most of you anyway."

Properly deflated, Patt stood her ground and waited.  "So, what has this
got to do with beckoning the NA forces and sending us all on erands?"

"I have decided to do something special . . . to mark the return of the
NunkMommy," LaCroix replied, beginning to strow around the room.  He
extended his arms with a flourish.  "I've decided to redecorate."

"Errrr, you can't do that," Patt said quietly.  "It's against the fanfic
rules--no permanent altering of the Shrine."

Uncle stopped walking and faced the Cousin.  "I'm LaCroix."

"And you'll be answering to the non-sensible PTB if you mess with this
building," Patt replied, her words bolstered by knowing she had right on
her side.  

"I will deal with *that* young woman when I chose to do so.  Now, as to why
you were summoned, here."  LaCroix thrust a legal-size sheet of paper at
the Third Cousin.  "This is your list.  Get to work."

The writing was extremely small and the task list rather daunting.  "What
is all this?" Patt moaned. 

"Think of it as a *scavanger hunt,*" LaCroix grinned, obviously pleased
with his choice of words.  "And, I expect you to have it accomplished by
tomorrow evening.  Some of your friends have already received their lists,
and others will be arriving shortly.  You may work as a group or give
them individual assignments to accomplish . . . I really have no
preference for how you achieve my goals . . . only that you do."

And, with those parting words, LaCroix vanished upward, leaving Patt
staring at the long, long list in her hands.

She looked down at the tiny print and read the first line.

"New over-stuffed harem pillows . . ."

It was going to be a very long day.


End segment 2 


Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 12:35:28 EDT
From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Subject: Re: NA: Alone at the Shrine?

I wanna play!


It was time to get out of the Harem for a while.  She'd weathered Nunkies 
trying to take over and, now, it seemed she was permanently in trouble over 
something she said.  All Michael ever said to her anymore was 'the white 
room'.  The last blowout had been over that kilt caper, but did the MacCousin get 
blamed for her part?
Well, yeah. 
"Where are you going?"  Sukh looked up from packing her bags to find Michael 
and Angel both standing at her door.  Damn those crossovers!  

"It's a long holiday, I'm going to hang with my other friends."  Sukh slipped 
her NA badges into her bag. 
"I'm betting it's that guy from that movie," Angel snorted.

"You mean the Tattooed Desert Dude," Michael was not looking happy.  "Once a 
Renegade Addict, always a Renegade Addict."

"I can come and go as I please," Sukh growled as she hefted her bag over her 

"Do you have your cell phone?"  Michael asked as she pushed past the two 
mother hens in her doorway.
"Why? Are you going to reach out and touch me?"  She moved toward the secret 
underground Harem entrance.  

"In case there is a mission."  Michael was not amused.  Of course. Mr. 
Stoneface was never amused.

"I'll be back on Tuesday." She reached up and gave both Michael and Angel a 
peck on the cheek.  "And yes, I have my cell."


"What took so bloody long?"  Giles pulled away from the curb in the Citroen. 
"Michael and Angel."

"Oh."  Giles smiled at her, then looked for the side street to get to the back 
of the Jeweled Peach.  "And you're sure you'll be safe at this Shrine?"

"Giles, not you too."  Sukh sighed and pointed out the way for her favorite 
Librarian. "I'll be fine.  I just miss my shrine buds, even the Ratpackers."  
She smiled as she started to flashback into the last WAR and the fun 
they'd had.

"The light's green, now which way?"  Giles interrupted her reverie.

"There is good.  We have a rule about the secret entrance and characters from 
other TV shows."

"I see."  Giles pulled over and let Sukh out.  He stood at the sidewalk with 
her and took off his glasses to clean them.  "Well, be careful.  I don't 
want my favorite research assistant to come to any harm."  

Sukh gave him a soft kiss of the cheek.  "I will. See ya on Tuesday." She 
turned and walked off into the Toronto afternoon.


"Hello?"  Sukh called into the empty-looking shrine.  Her voice echoed off 
the tiles and faded.  She went to her room to set her stuff on the bed, then 
to get her NSVV gear on.

Halfway to the locker room she tripped over another suitcase.


Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 13:29:13 EDT
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums--part 4

Summer Doldrums--part 4

"Tag?"  Patt looked up from the list, startled by the sound of falling
items.  Someone else *was* in the Shrine!!

The Third Cousin quickly ran up the steps and almost fell over Sukh, who
was picking up scattered clothing off the floor.

"Sukh!  What are you doing in my undies?" Patt said, aghast as the
smaller woman lifted up a large pair of white lacies.  

"I tripped over your suitcase," Sukh muttered in reply.  "Why did you
leave it in the hall like that?"

Patt smiled sheepishly.  "I think I had a flashback or something . . . I
kind of zoned out and just dropped it."

"Oh," Sukh eyed the other Cousin.  "Having TOG thoughts, are we?"

Patt ignored the insult.  "Nope, just got things on my mind.  Are you
here in answer to Uncle's All-Points-Bulletin?"

"Wasn't aware he'd put one out," Sukh said, picking herself off the floor
and shutting Patt's baggage carrier with a sharp snap.  "I just needed
some time away from my other menfolk.  They were being demanding and a
real pain.  I wanted some quiet time."  Then she looked at Patt sharply. 
"Nunkies put out an APB?  Why?!!"

"Something to do with the NunkMommy coming back.  He's given a task list
to us.  Here, take a look."

Sukh accepted the long list and began perusing it with interest.  She
alternately giggled and gasped, then handed the paper back to Patt. 
"Have fun, Third Cousin."

Patt shook her head.  "LaCroix gave this assignment to all of us."

Sukh shook her head.  "He didn't give it to me--you're in possession of
the silly thing.  I'm tired, need to rest, and I must edit."

"Posh," Patt replied.  "Your services are needed by Nunkies . . ."

"And Michael, and Angel, and Oded and . . .

"Leave the TDD out of this," Patt growled.

"Or what," Sukh growled back.

"Get to work!" a familiar, deep voice boomed from somewhere down the

"Yeech!!"  both women grabbed for the list, effectively tearing it in

"Youch!" Patt gasped, holding the top part of the paper.  

"I'm sure glad you got that half," Sukh laughed, heading down the hall
toward the exit stairs.  "I've had enough of harems, and I want no part
of finding new pillows . . ."

"Yeah," Patt yelled at the vanishing addict, "but at least I don't have
to go steal a backhoe."


End Part 4

From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 13:21:21 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Oooo...I wanna play.  Just be warned--I have taken sinus medication.  


The short redhead paid the cab driver and stood in front of The Jeweled 
Peach, wondering just exactly how she was supposed to get inside since the 
establishment seemed closed.  

"Great, Christy," she said to herself.  "Your first trip to Toronto, your 
first chance to visit the Shrine to Nunkies, and the Peach is closed!"

She started to wonder if perhaps the message from LaCroix hadn't been some 
kind of elaborate joke played on her by her non-FK "friends."  Wasn't there 
supposed to be some kind of private entrance somewhere?  She cursed herself 
for not having printed out the map of the Shrine.  Sometimes being a newbie 
could be SO annoying.  Oh well, nothing for it but to fake it.  She headed 
down the nearby alley and soon spotted a door that was slightly ajar.  
Pushing it open, she tentatively stuck her head inside.

"Hello?  Anybody home?"  There was no answer, but she thought she heard a 
distinct grumbling sound in the distance.  Following the sound, she made her 
way through the Shrine, gazing about her excitedly.  This was the Shrine!  
She was actually here!  She sighed dreamily.

She stopped when she found the source of the grumbling noise.  Directly ahead 
of her was a woman staring unbelievingly at a sheet of legal paper covered 
with what appeared to be a list...a very long list.

"Um...hi," Christy said tentatively.  "I got this message saying it was 
urgent that I come here."  With a puzzled look, she took in the empty Shrine. 
 "Maybe I got the dates mixed up or something?"

Looking up from the list, the mature addict eyed the newcomer dubiously.  
"You're one of the new addicts, aren't you?"

"Sure am.  Christy Stillman, at your service," came the answer.

"'At my service.'  Well, isn't that handy?" Patt grinned broadly as she 
approached the newcomer.  "Patt Elmore, Third Cousin...mature addict...yada 

The redhead blanched slightly.  "The one with the beer bottle?"

"Yep.  What of it?"

"Nothing really.  Just wondering whether or not it's safe to be this close to 
you.  Generally people who wind up standing this close to you manage to get 
into deep do-do.  I've read the fanfic...."

Patt shot Christy an evil look.  "Yeah, well, it's safe enough right now.  
Besides, we won't have TIME to get into trouble."  She waved the list under 
Christy's nose.  "His Nunkiness has decided to redecorate."

"But, I thought there was a rule..."

Patt cut her off.  "Apparently, himself has decided that HE is the one who 
makes the rules now.  Come on.  There are some folks already on errands and 
more on the way.  We have to have this done by tomorrow evening.  Time's a 

The mature addict shooed the newbie toward the main hall.


To: nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--part 6
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 13:50:33 EDT

With a slightly unwilling Christy dogging her footsteps, Patt headed for
the Shrine exit with her half of the now
not-quite-so-long-but-still-daunting list of stuff which Nunkies had
assigned her to do.  Sukh was a relative old-timer in the NA clan, so she
would be fine working independently, or picking up helpful addicts as she

Christy, on the other hand, was a flat out fledgling NA and needed the
helpful guidance from one of Patt's maturity.  Besides, carrying twelve
peacocks back to the Shrine might require assistance . . .

"Errr, Ms. Third Cousin, Ma'am?"  

Patt turned to find the redhead not following her anymore.  This did not
please the mature one, and she frowned at the new NA.  "What?"  

Christy took a tentative step forward.  "I know that the assignment is
important, and I really want to help, but I just got here and I'd kind of
like to freshen up, look around, try on togas . . ."

"Later."  Patt's tone left no room for argument.  "Just drop your
extraneous stuff, and let's go."

"Do we get to drive in the Jaguar?"  Christy asked, her bright eyes

Patt snorted in response.  "LaCroix let me drive the Jag?  You *are*
kidding, right?  Nope . . . we're taking my truck .  And, be thankful we
are because of what's on this list."  Patt shook the paper with passion. 

"May I have a look at it?" Christy smiled, her hand reaching out
"Once we're in the truck, kiddo, I'll let you hold it to your heart's
content," Patt replied slyly.  "Heck, I'll even buy you a drive-thru

Christy's expression brightened.  "Oh! That sounds GOOD!"  She began
following Patt out of the main room.

"Yea, it does," Patt agreed.  "Now, kid, you got any idea where we might
find some anti-gravity boots?"


From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 14:10:46 EDT
Subject: NA: Alone at the Shrine?
To: nunkies@world.std.com

This is my first attempt at an FK Round Robin.  If I step on a few toes, 
please don't hurt me too badly, and the horse is innocent!!!

Jennifer and Coup (that's my horse)

    Jennifer sat astride her eight-year-old Thoroughbred gelding.  They'd 
been together for four years, and, as she stroked his dark bay coat, she could 
hardly believe that they had actually pulled this off.  This was Canada, and 
not far from where she and Coup now were was the Shrine to Nunkies.  They had 
travelled cross country from Oklahoma to reach it.  Granted, they had used 
horse trailering survices for parts of the journey, but the fact that 
Jennifer had left the barn with Coup, and he had behaved himself most of the 
way made her almost as happy as the sight of the home of the Shrine.

     It had been quite a chore for Jennifer to convince her horse to come 
with her to the Shrine.  He had Diviant tendencies and was disappointed when 
he'd found out his owner wanted to visit a different vampire.  Then, when she 
had pointed out that LaCroix *was* related to Divia and promised him a Divia 
carrot dispenser for his stall, he had relented.

     They'd left several nights before, just after Jennifer's graduation.  
Drusilla and Spike had come to see them off.

     "Do you have your daisies, love?" Dru had asked Jennifer as the human 
girl checked her packs again.

     "Right here, Dru," Jen had answered, holding up the plastic flowers.

     "Take good care of them," Drusilla admonished her, brushing her fingers 
lightly over the cloth petals.

     "I will.  Don't worry," Jen said.  Then, she almost dropped her pack and 
the flowers when the red-clad vampiress hugged her.  It was *not* good to be 
that close to Dru, no matter *how much* they liked each other.  Jen didn't 
exactly want to be Dru's lunch.  Jen let our her breath in a gasp when Dru 
finally released her and stepped back.

     "Well, love," Spike said, leaning againt the tack room wall with his 
hands in his pocket, "I hope you 'ave a good trip.  Remember, if I 'ear 
anything about this bloke of yours mistreating you-"

     "Spike!!!" Jen cried.  "This 'bloke' has had my devotion longer than 
you, and he is *not* going to destroy me."  Jen sincerely hoped it was true.  
She'd only been up close and personal to Nunkies twice, once when she'd had a 
bad day at school, and again at her Senior Prom.

     "I'm not saying that 'e will," Spike was saying.  "I just want you t' 
know that, if you need me, I'll come."

     "Thanks," Jen said, smiling a little, "but I think Coup and I can take 
care of ourselves."  She gave Spike a quick peck on the cheek - the fact that 
he was sane made it easier than hugging Dru - before leading Coup out of the 
barn and into the night.

     "Need a leg?" a voice came out of the darkness as she approached the 

     "Angel," Jen said without looking.  The dark vampire appeared before 
her, a slight smile on his lips.

     "You were expecting Xander, maybe?"

     "No, not really.  And yes, a leg would be nice, wouldn't it, Coupers?"

     Jen's horse nodded.

     "Well, let's go then," Angel replied.

     Jen quickly checked her tack once again, tightened the girth, and 
dropped her stirrups.  Then, she stood at her horse's left, one hand holding 
the reins and Coup's mane, the other resting on the front of her saddle, and 
her left leg bent back behind her.  Angel cupped his hands around her knee.

     "One, two, three!"  On three, Angel lifted and Jennifer jumped, swinging 
smoothly into the saddle.

     She bent down and said, "Thanks, Angel."

     "Anytime."  They clasped hands for a moment, and then Jen was gone, 
posting Coup's smooth trot as she disappeared into the night.

     Jen smiled.  She was ready to go to the Shrine.  She'd dressed in her 
favorite black tanktop and her tan riding breeches for this last ride.  She 
hadn't wanted to mess with her tall boots on this trip, so she'd worn her 
ankle-high paddock boots and her black chaps.  Coup was well-groomed and in 
his colors: burgundy and navy, the same as on Jennifer's helmet cover.

     Jennifer shortened her reins and adjusted her seat in the saddle, then 
gave Coup a quick squeeze with her calves.  All the years of training paid 
off as the Thoroughbred broke into a smooth canter at her cue.  They kept 
that pace until they almost reached the Shrine.  Then, mindful of her horse's 
need to cool down, Jen slowed him to a walk for the last few minutes of the 
trip.  When she reached the Shrine grounds, she dismounted.  She saw first to 
her horse, then removed her helmet and pulled out her hair tie, letting the 
dark brown locks fall out of the pony tail she always wore when riding.  
Jennifer led Coup onto the grounds, not quite sure what to do with him now 
that they were here.  Finally, she decided he was cool enough to eat, so she 
replaced his bridle with a dark leather halter and took the feed and small 
feed pan from her pack.  She poured the feed into the pan, and put it on the 
ground.  She left Coup eating and admonished him, "No sneaking off, or I'll 
make you watch that bad horse tamer movie again."

     He snorted at her.  She ignored him and moved towards the Shrine.  But 
before she could enter, a hand touched her shoulder.  She stopped suddenly, 
holding in a cry of surprise.  Then, she turned around slowly.  She beheld a 
tall figure, clad completely in black.

     "Vader, how many times have I told you.  Not now!  You can torment Luke 

     The Dark Lord of the Sith remained motionless.  "I am not pleased with 
your progress."

     "Look, Darth, I'll get to that fanfic soon, I promise.  Now, why don't 
you go compare notes with Exar Kun, okay?"

     The Dark Jedi nodded, and disappeared.  Then, Jennifer heard footsteps 
behind her.  "Not again," she sighed.  As she turned, she started to say, 
"No, Xander, you *cannot* go out with Buffy in my next-"

     Jennifer froze as she saw who was there.  "Uh, L-L-LaCroix," she 
stammered as she took in his imposing form.  She gulped, fully expecting him 
to give her one of his looks.  Then again, she could almost swear that he was 
on the verge of smiling.  A closer look at his eyes comfirmed it.  He was 
actually *amused* by her nervousness.

     "Come here, my dear child, and call your Diviant horse, as well."

     Jennifer nodded, then turned in Coup's direction and gave a sharp 
whistle.  He came, carrying his now-empty feed pan with him.  Jennifer moved 
mechanically as she took the pan from him and repacked it.  She then turned 
to regard LaCroix, her hand resting on the crest of Coup's neck for support.  
The gelding merely regarded LaCroix with the same mildly interested 
expression he did everyone.  He could smell that the vampire didn't have 
anything worth eating.  He would have been very forward if he had.

     LaCroix spoke again, and his voice sent shivers down Jennifer's spine.  
"Now then, we need to have a little discussion, Jennifer."

Be kind to the horse.  :-)

Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 18:14:22 -0500
From: Nightstalker 
To: nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums

Oh, sure, I finally get home, and the story's gone without me.  Is it
okay for a latecomer to jump in?  If not, ignore this.

	"Get up here now, cherie."  LaCroix's voice was dark as he spoke to the
Addict he had sent to Egypt for some R&R.

	"Lemme get this straight--you want me to come up there from this heaven
you sent me to in order to relax--"

	"Cherie, if you don't come to Canada now, I will instruct the HP to
revoke your shrine priveliges and bust you to newbie rank."

	Chris thought it must have been serious if he was threatening to bust
her rank.  "Okay, okay.  I'll get the big O to set me up with a carpet. 
I'll be there in a bit."  
	"You will ride up in the chopper stationed at the back of the villa. 
Have--" the smile in LaCroix's voice was apparent "--the big O pilot. 
He has had all the requisite lessons."

	"Yeah, okay."  Chris knew that LaCroix was aware of her sense of humour
and was taking the banter as it was intended--a joke.  "See ya in a few

	"Goodbye, cherie."  LaCroix beeped of his digital phone.  Odd though
her sense of humour was, she was worth it--they were all worth it. 
Satisfied that Chris would be here soon to join in their little game, he
relaxed into the embrace of the litter-like chair he'd had installed on
the ceiling--luckily none of them had looked up yet.

	"Oh, man."  Chris set the golden phone back in its cradle.  She turned
to the dark, long-haired guy beside her.  "Od, we gotta get up to Canada
pronto.  The General's on the warpath, and I, for one, don't wanna be in
his way."

	The pout was evident in his voice as he replied.  "I hate piloting that
thing.  Why couldn't I just ride on a wing like last time?"

	"Come on.  I can show you where Iowa is on the way up."  Chris shimmied
out of the pillows and stood up, wrapping her silk kimono about her. 
"Od, you owe him, remember?"

	He flicked his dark gaze up to meet her level green one.  "I'm keeping
you here for an extra month for this."

	"Oh, like that's gonna be a problem.  Now get dressed and get in that

Chris--who's trying to think of another name so she and Christy don't
get confused.

From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 14:39:35 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh's Turn
To: nunkies@world.std.com

  Heh!  This is fun!

AWOL from the book for a day

A backhoe?  Where in the heck was she going to get a backhoe in Toronto.  The 
gold-dusted male strippers were no problem, the scale model of Pompeii in 
edible honey sticks and baklava was a snap (thank goodness for the UF).

She went to her room and pulled out her cell.  "Birkoff? I need a backhoe 
ASAP." She paused for the laughter to die down.  "No, really, I need a 
backhoe outside the Harem entrance in two hours."  She paused as she found 
her little black Janette dress.  "Yes, Walter can drive it."  She hung up the 
cell and turned to find Nunkies standing behind her.

"My are you the resourceful one," he drawled as she clutched her dress to 
her.  "I assume my bulletin didn't make it through the security of the Harem?"

"Um, no."

"So the MacCousin won't be joining us?"  LaCroix frowned and Sukh was caught 
up in watching his elegant eyebrows draw toward his pale eyes.  "A pity. I 
had the perfect errand for her."

"I can help, I have a MacCousin badge."  Sukh blurted before realizing what 
Pandora's box she just opened.

Nunkies smiled.  "Really?"  Then he handed her a short list.  "Perhaps while 
your looking for the rest of the Third Cousin's list, you can take on the 
MacCousin's search also."

"Umm, sure."  She looked at the MacCousin's list. A set of plaid Roman armor, 
in MacNunkies tartan, four kegs of Granny MacIntyre cider, a pound cake life 
size Roman chariot complete with four Devils food cake horses, and two 
hundred replicas of A certain Roman cup in silver.  "No problem."  She waved 
her dress at LaCroix, and shooed him out of her room.  "I have to dress for 
my mission."

"There will be no La Femme Nikita talk in my shrine."  LaCroix growled as he 
turned and stalked off.

Sukh stuck out her tongue at his black clad back.  

"You will pay for that later."


Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:01:27 -0700 (PDT)
From: Arymede 
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Well, here goes. Excuse the newbie, please.

Ary gazed at the computer screen.  She had too much to do now.
Graduation next week, dance shows coming out of her
ears, desperately trying to pass social and biology, a
best friend going through emotional breakdown...

But, when Nunkies calls, NAs answer. She picked up the
phone and called the airport.


Ary walked up outside the Jeweled Peach. Secret
entrance, hmmm, secret entrance. She circled the
building twice before noticing the slightly open door.
She peeked in. 

"Helllooooooooo? Is anyone home?" A couple people
standing in the room jumped at her loud voice. "Uh,
sorry. So, what am I supposed to do?"

She stepped fully into the Shrine, closing the door
behind her. One of the people whom she didn't
recognize glanced at her unusual attire (jeans, hunter
green velvet tunic, bandolier of throwing knives,
longbow and arrows strapped across her chest...), and
asked "So, who are *you*?"

"Um, yeah. I'm Ary, newbie extrordinaire, recent heir
to the title "Resident Evil Freshman", UFer, Cousin,
Glowworm, and other things. I don't post much. Why am
I here?"

To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt's part
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:19:23 EDT

Christy!  I just couldn't wait any longer to post.  


"Hehehehehe."   Patt's distinct giggle sent a chill down Christy's spine.
Hanging with the Third Cousin was assuredly an adventure, but there were
certain elements of terror which the young woman had not been
expecting--well, had *hoped* she wouldn't encounter.

Christy watched with interest as Patt's derriere emerged from the cabinet
it had been stuffed into.  The rest of the mature cousin quickly
followed.  Patt sat back on her heals and held her treasure up

"Heart of the Ocean!"  Patt's grin was quite bright behind the soot which
now covered her face.  "I knew if it were *anywhere* other than at the
bottom of the sea, it would be in a RatPacker den."

"Uh, huhh," Christy took the offered necklace and looked it over, her
mouth twisting slightly.  "You sure this isn't just a copy--looks kind of
tarnished to me."

"Real silver tarnishes when not polished, my dear Sullivan," Patt
poopoohed the other NA.  "Now, get a cloth and clean it up."

"Why me?" Christy whined.  She was beginning to feel the affects of
flunkiness and found it a bit tiresome.  A promised early evening trek
through Toronto had been interesting, but they had never left the Shrine
proper, and she found Patt's orders a bit . . . obnoxious.

Patt gave the young Cousin a glaring look.  "Fine.  I'll clean up the
jewelry. You go find . . . this."  She pointed to the list, which
appeared to be expanding, and indicated one of the items.

Christy read it and went pale.

"You want me to go get . . . THAT??!!"

"It's on the list, kid.  You can handle it."

"But . . .!"

Patt had finished rummaging through a drawer and, with a happy noise,
produced a cloth and bottle of polish.  She sat down at the kitchen/lab
table and began working on the blue-bejeweled necklace.  Christy waited,
but Patt showed no signs of acknowledging her.

"What if I can't . . .?" Christy began slowly.  

"Then you can have the honor of explaining your failure to Nunkies," Patt
replied, never taking her eyes off her polishing.  

With an unhappy sigh, Christy headed through the swinging doors which led
out of the kitchen/lab into the main hall.  In a few minutes, the young
addict's voice filtered back to the mature one, causing Patt to smile.

"Just where *are* the Sacred Stables, anyway?"


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt 
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:50:57 EDT

Tammy used with permission.


Patt finished the polishing and placed the necklace on the sideboard. 
She smiled when she noticed that she'd been whistling, quite pleased at
how much of the list she'd been able to accomplish.  

But, there was still so much to do.

She picked up the half-legal-size paper where Christy had dropped it,
looking at the next item which needed attention.  Easy.  She reached for
the telephone. "One wall of decorative brick with Celtic design coming

"Leo's Loadstone," a voice replied after three rings. 

"Hey, Leo, glad to find you home at this hour," Patt said cheerfully.  "I
have a job for you, and there's a bonus if I have it by mid-morning."

Transaction details completed, Patt hung up the phone and picked up the
task list again.  Her eyes had just focused when the delivery door bell
gonged loudly.

"Darn that loud thingee," Patt yelped.  When the gong went off, it always
startled her, and this time had been no exception.  Then, her face
brightened.  "I'm impressed by your promptness, Leo ole buddy, but the
bonus ain't getting any bigger."

Patt unlatched and threw open the back door.  Then she screeched and
slammed it shut again.  

"Hey, let me in!" an Irish-accented female voice, accompanied by fistive
pounding, yelled from behind the door.  

"Why?" Patt inquired cautiously.  

"Because Nunkies ordered me to come here, so here I am."  

"You're an Addict?"  Patt opened the door slightly and peeked through the
narrow opening.  

"Yes," the disheveled brunette answered, busily brushing herself off. 
"Now please admit me."

"I'll admit you're an Addict if you say so," Patt replied, still holding
the door only slightly ajar, "but I'm not letting you inside without more

The younger woman sighed.  "All right.  My name is Tammy.  I'm a Nunkies
Addict, a Dark Perk, a NightShifter and I've just been accepted into the
newly formed Enforcers!"

"How nice for you," Patt drawled.  "But I'm not too crazy about the long
trench coat.  You're not packing weaponry, are you?"

"Oh," Tammy said, understanding Patt's concern.  The Irish woman smiled
sweetly.  "I'm quite harmless, but I do have this . . ."

At the sight of the overly-stuffed duffle, Patt yelped again and slammed
the door shut.

"Hey, let me in," Tammy yelled, pounding on the metal door.  "I can be
quite helpful, you know.  I don't have time for this nonsense--I dropped
exams, flew over here and parachuted from a plane, just to make Nunkies
proud.  Now, let me in so I can complete my duties and return to my

Student activities, though she'd been out of school for a long, long,
long, long, long, long (well, you get the idea) time, were something Patt
could relate to. Slowly, still doubting the intelligence of her decision,
the Third Cousin opened the delivery door.  

Tammy stepped gingerly inside and faced the other addict.  "Thank you
muchly, I'm sure," the dark-haired woman said.

"You're welcome, I'm sure back," Patt replied.  "So, you got the *report
now* message from LaCroix, too?"

"Yes," Tammy replied, "and though I'm pleased at his confidence shown in
requesting my presence, the timing is terrible."

"Your studies?" Patt guessed.

Tammy gave the other addict a withering look.  "Well, yes, that and this
assignment conflicted with my first Enforcer Party.  Drat it.  And, I
think I ripped a boot 'chuting out of the plane."

"Ahhhhhh," Patt watched with interest as Tammy inspected her attire. 
"You looked dressed for battle."

"Always," Tammy grinned brightly at the thought.  "I live for adventure."

"Good," Patt nodded, "Then you've come to the right place.  Nunkies has
plenty of adventure brewing for you."

"Brewing?"  Tammy ticked an eyebrow at the other woman.  "You're not
planning mayhem of your own, are you?"

"No, no, no," Patt shook her head.  "LaCroix gave us this task list, and
we can use all the help we can get, 'cause he wants it completed by
tomorrow night."  

Tammy looked dubiously at the piece of paper Patt was waggling in front
of her.  "Origami?" she asked sweetly.

"Close," Patt admitted with a nod.  "But he wants it bigger, roomier and
with plenty of bedspace.  Being a DP," Patt matched Tammy's grin before
it had started to fade with understanding as she looked at the list item
Patt was indicating, "I'm sure you can handle it--he wants it pink.  

End of this part

From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:52:08 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Sukh twirled in the dress and frowned.  It was going to be hard to drive a 
backhoe in this, besides it had a few wrinkles that needed to be steamed out. 
 No problem, she looked in her bag and pulled out her black Harem mission 
pants and shirt. She snagged her dress and hung it up to dewrinkle for later. 

She had just finished when she heard someone call out.  Reinforcements!

She entered the shrine to find two more of the new Addicts milling around the 

"Kewl!" she said as Pat emerged from the lab room with a necklace that looked 
vaguely familiar.

The mature cousin and Sukh grinned at each other.  "I'll take the one in the 
trenchcoat, and you can have the redhead."  Sukh announced as she headed 
toward the Sacred stables.  The chariot better still be there.

 So what's your name?"  Sukh motioned for the dark haired Newbie to fall in 
step with her.


"Well, Nite, have you ever driven a chariot?"  Sukh asked as they approached 
the stables. Nite raised n eyebrow at her in a manner most Nunkies-like.

  Another newbie was standing in front of the stables, frowning and biting 
her lip.

Jennifer was sitting atop her beautiful gelding looking at her list and 

"So, who wants to help me hook up the other horses to the chariot?"  Sukh 
rubbed her hands together.

From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 18:14:07 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy's part
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Christy wandered through the halls looking for some sign of an entrance to 
the Sacred Stables.  Finally, she found the place by simply following her 
nose.  Green eyes sparkled as they lit upon the prize she sought, but the 
darned thing looked awfully heavy.  Leave it to Patt to trick her out of 
polishing the necklace and manipulate her into having to lug a full suit of 
Roman armor from the stables and back into the kitchen.  She looked at its 
slightly tarnished state and sighed.

"I'll bet I wind up having to polish all the metal on it as well."  She shook 
her head.  "Oh well, at least I seem to have her convinced that I'm young.  
That's a plus.  Of course, she could simply be referring to my fledgling 

Looking around for something--anything--that she could use as transportation 
for the heavy breastplate, she spotted a wheelbarrow.  After making sure it 
had been properly cleaned after its last use, she started loading it with the 
armor.  She couldn't resist holding up the leather "skirt."  Obviously too 
big for her.  In fact, now that she looked carefully at the armor, she could 
see that it was definitely man-sized.  Her breath caught.  Could it be?  Was 
she actually touching the General's own armor?  Her fingertips drifted over 
the breastplate, eyes glazing over dreamily.  She could almost see him 
standing there, red cape billowing, ice blue eyes hard with command....

"Hey, kid.  You gonna haul that stuff in here or drool over it all day?"

Her reverie broken, Christy looked up to see her self-appointed keeper 
standing in the doorway, hands on hips.

"Oh, sorry.  Were these--*his*?"  She indicated the armor with a trembling 

"That's the story.  Well, let's get on with it.  Still got a lot of work 
ahead of us.  Bring that on into the kitchen/lab and start polishing."

Lifting the handles of the wheelbarrow with a grunt, the fledgling followed 
her mentor from the room, suddenly very grateful that she'd been weight 
training for the past few months.

As she sat in the kitchen/lab carefully polishing the breastplate, all the 
various buckles and even mending some of the leather straps, Christy actually 
found herself...content.  The Shrine, even though she still had trouble 
finding her way around, had the feel of home.  She and Patt seemed to be 
finding the items on their list without an excess of trouble, and so far she 
had yet to be incarcerated--a fate which seemed to follow anyone hanging with 
the Third Cousin for very long.

The mature addict had finished polishing the "Star of the Ocean" and was now 
looking over the list again, Heineken in hand.  She looked at the fledgling 

"You about done over there?"

"Yep.  Just finishing up the repairs on this last strap."  

"Good.  Ready for your evening tour of Toronto?  We have a few errands to run 
outside the Shrine."

Green eyes gleamed in anticipation.  "Sure!  Let's go."

As they piled into Patt's truck, the redhead asked, "Where to now, o mentor 
of mine?"

"We're on our way to the Raven."

"The Raven?  Um, aren't there like, vampires there who *aren't* LaCroix?  
Vampires who might not know that we're addicts...who might not even care?"  
The green eyes widened as she gulped convulsively, hand instinctively going 
to her throat.

"No guts, no glory, kid."


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 19:07:27 EDT

Before heading toward the Raven, several interesting this had occurred.  

Leaving Christy to her armour polishing, Patt had carefully placed the
now shiney necklace in a file cabinet drawer which she had neatly labeled
"Nunkies Remodeling Stuff."

"Why in the world would Nunkies need remodeling?" a youngish voice
chirped from behind the mature addict.  "He's perfect the way he is."

"Ack!"  Patt cried, spinning around to face the unknown intruder.

The girl tilted her head and looked at the Third Cousin carefully.  "Kind
of easily spooked, aren't you?"

"Hang around this place as long as I have and you'll be spooked too,"
Patt replied, turning back to lock the file cabinet.  "Just who are you,

"Name is Pristine, also known as NiteFlyer, and I'm a Nunkies Addict,"
the girl said proudly.  "I'm here to help Uncle."

Patt sighed.  "You new ones are coming out of the woodwork, aren't you?
Welcome to the NA Shrine, Pristine.  I'd offer you one of those little
silver cups, but drooling will have to wait until later.  His Nunkiness
has given us a task list and," Patt took the paper out of her shirt
pocket and began unfolding it, "here is your assignment . . ."

Pristine held up her hand.  "Don't bother, ma'am.  Nunkies has given me
my own personal list," the new addict held up her own sheet of paper.  "I
met him earlier."  The dark haired girl sighed in rapturous contentment.

"Errrr, that's nice."  Patt looked at the other woman carefully.  "So,
why are you hanging around the Shrine if you have a list to accomplish?"

"Came back for tools," Pristine grinned.  "Was told that the Sacred Tool
Shed could be annexed off the anteroom/alley entrance, so I was cutting
through to there.  I do expect I can find a very large drill there,

"Oh, yea," Patt nodded.  "We specialize in large drills.  Help yourself."
As Pristine moved to pass Patt, the mature addict spoke again.  "I'm

"Is that an unusual condition for you?"  Pristine's eyes flashed in

"No, but I could have sworn that a girl name Nite left with Sukh awhile

"Was she wearing a trenchcoat?" Pristine asked with interest.  

"Yep," Patt nodded.

"That would be Tammy then," Pristine said.  "I met her earlier outside
the delivery entrance.  She seemed perturbed at the time."

"Yea, yea, yea."  Patt made a shooing motion with her hand.  "That's all
been taken care of."

"Perhaps Tammy borrowed my name because she was going undercover," 
Pristine suggested.  

"Works for me," Patt grinned.  "Ain't it nifty the way we clear up

"A talented woman you are," Pristine smiled, again moving past the mature
addict.  "Now, you'll have to excuse me because I have work to do."

Patt watched as the petite addict disappeared out the door.  "Least she
could have done was take the wheelbarrow back out to the stable," Patt
mumbled.  "Everybody's too busy doing Uncle's bidding to help each other.
Sure wish we had the HP here to keep order."  Patt bit her tongue and
rolled her eyes, flabbergasted that such a thought had entered her head. 

Now, she and Christy were navigating the night streets of Toronto,
heading toward the Raven.  Patt hummed, an off-tune noise which belied
her own nervousness at having to go to the well-known watering-hole of
vampires and odd humans.  Have to keep up appearances for the newbies,

"Do you have to make that noise?" Christy said, giving Patt a glaring

"No, but I "am" making this noise," Patt countered.  "Beats *dead*
silence, don't it?"

Christy sat back in her seat, none too happy.  "Why do we have to go to
the Raven?" she pouted.

"Because . . ." Patt replied.  " . . . it's on the list that we do so."

The establishment  was lit up and buzzing when Patt pulled the truck to a
stop in front of the canopied entrance.  A rather large, hunky bouncer
walked over to the pickup and glanced past Christy to study Patt.  "You
can't park here," he said firmly.

"I'm an acquaintance of a friend of the owner," Patt replied.  Then her
countenance grew thoughtful.  "Or, is *he* the owner now.  I get my time
lines mixed up in these things."

"Janette DuCharme owns the Raven," the hunk stated flatly.  "And," he
looked the two women over with disdain, "I'm sure she doesn't know either
of you."

"Well," Patt huffed slightly.  

"We're friends of Lucius LaCroix," Christy said quickly, before Patt
could irk the bouncer.  Patt had a habit of irking people, you see . . .

The hunk shifted his eyes to Christy and considered her words.  "LaCroix,
huhh?  What do you want here?  You're not exactly dressed for partying,
and you both," he sniffed, "smell like cleaning formula."

"We're here on the orders of Nunkies," Patt announced, waving her list. 
"We have an assignment, and we will fulfill it."

"Okay, but if you're jerking me around and make any trouble in there, I
will serve your livers to my pet gargoyle," the hunk replied, moving to
open the door on Christy's side. "I'll have Sven park your truck for

"Thanks," the two women called back to the bouncer as they entered the

It took a few minutes for their eyes to adjust to the muted light, but
soon they both found themselves staring down into the wriggling mass
which crowded the Raven dance floor.  Patt scanned the long bar and found
her objective, leaning against the highly polished wooden surface, a
crystal glass of blood-wine deftly held in her exquisite hand.

Patt tugged at Christy's arm and made her way through the crowd to
Janette's side.

The taller woman looked at the addicts, an expression of disbelief
clouding her pale face as she observed the appearance of the two addicts.
Then, as if she suddenly understood something, her face relaxed.

"Oh, you must be the plumbers.  Harry," Janette waved at another 
bouncer-type at the end of the bar, "show these . . . people . . . to the
ladies room, won't you?  Happy unplugging," she said, making a motion to
shoo the smelly women away.  

"We're not here to fix your toilet," Patt said huffily.  She held the
list out to Janette, who instantly recognized the handwriting and then
stared at the women in surprise.  "We're here for decorating tips."

From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 19:15:27 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh
To: nunkies@world.std.com

 "Let's see, Hey Jennifer, do you think Coup could be talked into helping 
roll the Chariot out of the Stable?" Sukh lifted the wood and gold shaft and 

Jennifer smiled.  "I seriously doubt it, but I'll help." She slid off her 
horse and secured him nearby.  

Between the three of the addicts, they managed to get it to the courtyard of 
the stable.  It basked in the moonlight, a faint glow of the gold warming the 
NAer's faces as they checked it over to make sure it was drivable.

"Looks good," Sukh finally pronounced.  "Lets get the horses hooked up."  It 
took a good half hour and one near escape of the General's coal black 
Friesians' but it was done.

"Something is still missing." Nite scratched head as she watched Sukh check 
the traces and make sure the Chariot was ready to go.  "I know," She raced 
back into the stables and rooted around.  She came out with four Red Ostrich 
plumes and attached them to the brow strap of the bridles.

"Perfect!" Sukh climbed in and wrapped a leather strap around her wrist. She 
gathered up the reins.  '"Come one Nite, Let's roll."


From: JBejar1989@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 19:59:23 EDT
Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums
To: nunkies@world.std.com

	"I knew I should have worn a more sensible pair of shoes," Jill 
muttered as she limped up to the door of the Jeweled Peach.  The Shy One sighed as she 
leaned down to ineffectually wipe at the dust marring her black suede boots. 
	"Five feet, nine and a half inches wasn't good enough...Oh no!  I 
just had to give in to 'Oh My God!  I'm turning 30 insanity' and buy these 4 inch heels." 
Jill sighed, gave up on the dust marks, straightened up, wriggled her aching 
feet one last time, and reached for the door to the Peach.  It didn't open.  
She tugged again.  It still didn't open.

	"I do not believe this!  Drive all the way up here a day early.  
Drive all over town looking for a parking lot that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.  End up 
walking 15 blocks to the Peach, and it's closed!  I just do not believe this."  Jill, 
ceased ranting and began rummaging through the bottomless pit she called a purse.  
Car keys, wallet, address book, appointment calendar, empty Heineken bottle, 
plastic silverware, sharpies, camera, scrunchies...She stopped pulled out a 
red velvet scrunchie and pulled her long, curly, honey brown hair up into a pony 
tail, then continued her search. 
	"Ah Ha," she exclaimed triumphantly as she pulled put a packet of 
emails and a map of the Shrine.  She began to mutter to herself as she skimmed the 

  	"Msr. Carbon is outta town, Patt and Christy just left for the Raven, 
Sukh and Tammy are out and about, stables, armor, chariots, hmmm...  Where is 
that secret entrance?" 

	"Problems, Roomie?  A cheery voice called out.
	"Rae!  Love the boots!  Let's go see what everyone is up to, shall 
we?" The two continued chatting as Javiette led the way to the Shrine's Secret 


From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 20:05:02 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Umm, Sukh?"  The trenchcoated girl looked at the Renegade Addict's gleaming 
eyes and backed off a step.  "Umm, I have a confession to make."

"Hurry, we have things to find."  Sukh wondered if it was her imagination or 
had Nite had suddenly developed an Irish accent.

"I'm Tammy."  

"Oh." Sukh thought about it for a moment. She had assumed the girl walking to 
the stables was Nite, so it was not really Tammy's fault now was it?  "No 
problem. Tammy, let's roll. Jennifer, can you keep up?"

Jennifer was getting a leg up from a very familiar looking vampire from 
another show.  Angel gave them both a worried look and started to open his 

"Don't even think it," Sukh warned him.

"But.. a Chariot?"  He watched as Jennifer trotted Coup over next to the 
Golden Roman conveyance.

"Hey, It's an Addict thing."  She watched Angel melt back into the velvet 
shadows of the stables then turned to Tammy as she finally took a hesitant 
step into the chariot.  "Use the wrist straps."  

Jennifer shot her a look and wrapped the leather securely around her wrists.  
Sukh turned on her ear comm.  "Birkoff, we're rolling."


Sukh groaned.  That was not Birkoff.  "Michael, butt out, I'm on a mission."

"For that vampire."  Michael's French accented voice was deceptively soft.


"Is that why Birkoff is locating a backhoe?"

"Yes, Are you finished interrogating me?"  Sukh clicked the horses out of the 
alley and turned the four-abreast team onto the street at a sedate walk.  

"For, now."  Michael fell silent as she turned on the Chariot's Stereo.  
Salsa music startled Tammy.

"What's that for?"  Tammy and Michael asked at the same time.

"It helps me drive."  She turned to Tammy.  "Brace yourself."  She yelled to 
the team Latin, leaned over and slapped the reins on the dark backs of the 

They took off pell mell with a start and a huge jerk.  Sukh gave a good Texas 
yell as the Chariot flew down the street, Tammy screamed, then clung to the 
side as Sukh raced down the street.  

"What the hell was that?"  Echoed in her ear comm unit as she leaned low over 
the front of the chariot and encouraged the horses.

"A Chariot."  She yelled over the wind.

From: "Shele" 
To: "nunkies" 
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Shele
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 20:11:29 -0700

"...mumph...mmrrrr...abandon rate went up? Rrruygn....duplicates in the
file." Shele tossed and turned in her bed. "....hmpppn... calls converted
to uppercase?!" Sadly, the effort of having two jobs was beginning to wear
quite thin on the not-so-young Addict. Finally, with a shouted "Is
*anybody* watching the queue?" she woke up from her fitful sleep.

"That's it! Call centers and file extracts be damned, I'm outta here. Who's
with me?" She gazed across the storm-beaten landscape of her bed. Fredde,
her eighteeen pound momma's boy of a cat merely arched his back to extend
his body further along hers. Was he signalling his agreement or just trying
to lure her into sleepyheadland? His body rolled belly upward and she was
made to understand that he would not follow her this time. She looked
across to Coquette, the one-eyed pirate cat, who mouthed her assent. Yes,
she would follow her beloved person to the ends of the earth -- provided,
of course, there would be treats and caresses along the way. "I'll be
taking the car and quite possibly an airplane, too." A lone green eye
closed and Coquette's head fell dejectedly to the bed.  Shele sighed, hoisting herself out of bed. "Now, where to go,
where to go? Somewhere I can be happy. Somewhere I can _rest_." A smile
crept over her face, , it had been too long since she'd turned herself


Hours later, her rental car pulled up in front of the Peach. Its parking
lot was oddly empty for a Sunday dinner-ish timeframe and it was only when
she approached the door that she saw the crude sign. "'Gone Fishin'? What
kind of bull is that?" She raised her voice and directed it at the
building. "I want food!" Receiving no answer, much less a hail of
foodstuffs, she turned to the shrine. "Guess I'll have to get the
old-fashioned way...By stealing."

Empty suitcases in the hall, clothing carelessly hanging on the furniture,
bickering in the distance -- it could only mean one thing, she was home.
Shele smiled to herself, this was just like old times. And just like old
times, whoever had left their belongings strewn about the foyer was going
to get Grout Duty -- if they got caught, that is. "Whoever left their...
undies!... on the General's head is going to be in big trouble, if
you-know-who walks in!" She waited for the mad scrambling of Addicts on the
run. And waited. The distant noises continued with no sign of abatement,
but as she thought about them, the sound was less like bickering and more
like scavenging.  No, this sound was definitely less furtive
than that. "Curious, indeed."

"You're very astute, you know."

The words, plain and cleanly spoken, draped themselves on her like a
lightweight velvet stole. His approach had been silent, as was befitting a
creature of his ilk, and only his words had betrayed his presence. She
waited, whether to gather enough self control to turn and face him or for
him to continue his train of thought, she wasn't sure. When he did resume
speaking, it was with words that chilled her to the bone.

"They are, indeed, scavenging, and I wish for you to join them. In fact, I
have here a list of items I know only you can...."

"What a minute. What *one* minute." Shele turned on her heels and stared at
the vampire. "I'm not here to work, I'm here on vacation! You know, 'V-A
C-A-tion, in the summer sun!'? So you can just take that glare, and the two
big blue eyes that are producing it, to someone more intimidated by you.


She raised her hand to staunch the flow of words. "I mean it. If playing
Age of Empires and eating candy are the only things on that list, then I'm
your girl. If they're not, well, good luck with the next Addict who walks
through the door."

He seemed to carefully consider his next words. "You should know that I've
considered revoking your status as Poet Laureate. Your heart doesn't seem
to be in it anymore and there are others far more capable on the list. Why
even Pa-, Pa-.... *that* *one* has written an oddly amusing refrain or

"Hey, I suppose that it's your perogitive, and I am quite aware that,
despite my feelings, I've hardly written a rhyme in the last few months.
Besides, I agree with you, Patt does have a way with words. I'll start
moving my stuff out of the alcove right now." Shele paused for a second,
then turned to go down the hall.

"Wait." Her retreating footsteps stopped, but she didn't turn. "It's a very
short list, really. Much shorter than what I've given the others. And....
I've got a present for you... a Darth Maul light saber."

Shele turned slowly, "Do I get it now or do I have to wait?"

"You can have it when you've brought back all the items on your list."
 they each thought to themselves.

"If I get it then, everybody else will be mad that they didn't get
something. But if you let me have it now, I can say I brought it with me.
Unless, of course, you _did_ bring everyone gifts and this 'present' isn't
so special after all." She watched his face for a sign that he'd been
caught, but his eyes were focused on the drapes. 
She rolled her eyes.

"As you wish, I'll have it brought over within the hour." He turned his
gaze back to her. "Over time, your behavior has grown exceedingly
disrespectful. You're fortunate that I'm so forgiving -- it would not be so
difficult to replace you."

She turned and continued her trek down the hall, mumbling all the way.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it before." As she made her way around a
corner, she twisted her head and called out over her shoulder, "And I
better get a present at the end like everybody else! Oh."

LaCroix stood in front of her, a good eighteen inches away. She slowly
tilted her head, , until she meet his eyes.

"You forgot your list."

Before she could retort, he was gone. "....Oh." She looked down at the
list. "Oh man! You want me to get fifty gallons of *what*?" She repressed a
shudder while opening the door to her room. "I don't _even_ want to know
what that's for!"


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 22:23:15 EDT

Had to try one more time and see if Christy added more to our arc.  This
is for Rae.  

Jill and Javiette moved easily into the anteroom hallway, closing the
alley door behind them.  

"Five-foot-nine and how much?" the shorter addict looked up at her
companion as they walked down the hall.

"That's about it," Jill replied.  "Depends on the heels and my ego."  

Rae giggled.  She clicked along in her boots, matching the taller addict
stride for stride.  The women broke from the hallway into the main Shrine
chamber and looked around.  Rae noticed Jill's awestruck look and
grinned.  "First time?"

Jill nodded.  "This is even grander than I expected.  Makes a girl proud
to be a Nunkies Addict."

"I'm still a Vacquera first," Rae smiled, "hence the nickname Javiette. 
Vachon is my main man.  Black and motorcycles till I die."

"Uhh, huhh," Jill smiled back.  "Is that why you wear a little General on
your bootie there?"

"A girl has to cover all angles," the shorter, blonde addict grinned
widely.  "Besides, he makes an excellent chin smasher, when necessary."

The women continued across the expanse of the room, stopping briefly to
emit sighs at the Shrine alter.  

"Where do you think the others are?" Jill said, looking around the room. 

"Probably in the kitchen, scarfing chocolate and that Tari . . .Tari . .
. wafer stuff," Javiette replied.  "Let's go check out the lab."

The two women were disappointed to find no other addicts in the room, but
were delighted at the find they did make.  Javiette went straight to the
refrigerator and found what she sought--a large platter of
Death-by-Chocolate and a bottle of Roman Candle.  

"Ahhhhhh," Rae said, the rapture clearly defined in her voice.  "The NA's
know how to eat almost as good as the FODs.  Ever been to one of the

"Nope, but I'm sure they're something to write about," Jill replied. 
"Hey, what's this?"  She reached down to retrieve a piece of paper which
had fluttered to the floor.  "I think it fell off the refrigerator door
when you closed it."

Javiette took the sheet, skimmed it and noted the signature at the
bottom. "Darn," she grunted, tossing the paper away.  "Patt is still
trying to give the orders.  Guess she needs another lesson in how to

"Wait a second, Rae," Jill said, retrieving the note.  "This says that
these are LaCroix's orders."

"Patt and LaCroix aren't exactly on speaking terms, if I remember right,"
Javiette snorted.  "Why would she be acting as his sergeant, or something
like that?"

"I understand your animosity toward the Third Cousin, Javiette, knowing
your history.  But, do you really want to risk not carrying out this
assignment in case it *is* at Nunkies' directive?"  

Rae chewed her Death thoughtfully, mulling over Jill's words.  "What does
that note say again?"

"'If you arrive at the Shrine and find this note,'" Jill read from the
list segment, "'your assignment is to secure the following three items: 
A  6-foot adobe cineraria with five outlet chambers, six-hundred peach
votive candles with matching silver-lace holders and enough garland to
shroud the Shrine proper. ~~ Third Cousin Patt.'"

"And the postscript?"  Javiette narrowed her eyes at the taller woman.  

"'And, if you have time, please scrub Screed's face.'"  Jill looked up
from the paper, smiling sheepishly.

"I'm gonna break that addict's face," Javiette took a long draught from
her Candle.  "I'm gonna kick her till I can't kick no more . . . right
after I run some errands."


From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 23:56:13 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy
To: nunkies@world.std.com

The chic female vampire stared blankly at the two women.  "Decorating tips?  
How about a few wardrobe tips instead?" she said, sniffing disdainfully.

"Nope, Janette, not tonight," Patt answered quickly, seeing that Christy was 
highly tempted and seemed enthralled by Janette's shoes.  "LaCroix wants to 
redecorate the shrine for the NunkMommy's homecoming, and he has us all 
running our little tushies off to get it done by tomorrow evening.  
Decorating tips...now, please.  You know how he gets when he has a bee in his 

"Shoes...cute shoes," Christy said as her eyes glazed over.  "Shoes are good. 
 We like shoes."

The Third Cousin smacked her, effectively breaking the trance.  "No shoes.  
Not now.  Decorating, remember?"

"Sorry, o mature mentor.  Shoes and chocolate are my main weaknesses."

"Just don't let it happen again."

Janette observed the exchange and shook her head solemnly.  "Addicts," she 
sighed.  "And LaCroix chides Nicolas for having his human pets."  She rolled 
her eyes.  "Lah."

Gliding gracefully from the bar stool, she led the women toward her private 
rooms.  She looked closely at Patt.  "Aren't you the one so often in 

"That would be me."

She glanced at Christy.  "And you're following her around?  Are you suicidal, 

Christy glanced at Patt.  "Well, I had my doubts at first, but things really 
seem to be going quite smoothly.  I am a newbie addict, after all, and in 
need of guidance.  Heck, I'm actually beginning to feel like we might just 
get through this weekend with our necks intact."  She smiled broadly.

It was right about then that all H-E-double hockey sticks chose to break 
loose at the Raven.


From: "Tranquility Starr" 
To: "Nunkies Anonymous" 
Subject: NA: hehe
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 00:58:55 -0500

Aw, heck, why not?

"Darn jetlag."

The short little addict with the outgrowing red hair adjusted her sunglasses
and squinted at the slip of paper in her hand.  She remembered that the back
entrance was in the alley, and she slipped around the side of the building,
toting her bag.  Eww...nice dumpsters...but she was rewarded with the back

Quietly, she turned the knob and slipped in.  Tranq'd never been in
the Jeweled Peach before, so was promptly astounded by the opulence.  Her
eyes went to the suitcases, sprawled clothes, and lacy white undies.

"Darnit, did I miss the fun?"

Her bag went thumping to the floor, as she began to explore...



From: "Nite Flyer" 
Subject: NA: A bit of treasure
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 02:51:49 -0400

Little did i realize that a mere ordinary day could suddenly place me 
(to my joyful glee) in The Shrine of His majesty Nunkies..........and so 
my thoughts wandered (where all good NA members thoughts usually wander) 
........I share them with my dear comrads and call this little one 

TREASURE  .........Timeless does gold so shine in a dream where life is 
ours, to grab a distant shining star and fly from looming towers...Our 
castle just a glimpse away from shady groves beyond, my heart of heart's 
abandon still holding one true love....My keepsake so delighting, every 
sense and taste, exploring and enticing uncharted, savored place......A 
territory unexplained invited in my life, the one I turn to calling in 
every depth of night.....My grace and pleasure yours, Lacroix in shadows 
mine. My lord of lost illusions, the gem I longed to 

(Happy hunting ladies and thanks for fitting me in 
Summer D.) Niteflyer...................


From: Ravenx3744@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 04:03:35 EDT
Subject: Re: NA: Doldrums
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Wow, I know I'm behind, but I got a really good excuse! I was stuck in the 
middle of the desert camping (ick). Anyways I'll give this a shot. I know 
it's short but I'm still recovering from my camping ordeal =^_^=

Talia stepped out of the cab, a large suitcase in one hand and a blue cat 
carrier in the other. She was wearing a black t-shirt with a vampiric smiley 
face on it, black cut off jeans, and combat boots with smiley face laces. Her 
reddish brown har hung loose and she blew her bangs away from her face. She 
walked tentativly into Nunkie's Shrine looking around. 

"Um, Hello?" she called out. A mewing sound came from the cat carrier. Talia 
put down her suitcase and opened the carrier. A small black and white tuxedo 
cat, who looked more like he was part ferret and rabbit with a small pink 
nose and a spiked collar, crawled out. "You okay Thorne?" she cooed as she 
patted him on the head. Thorne squeaked at her and looked around his 
surroundings. Talia saw his eyes go wide when he realized that he was in a 
new place that was just ripe for exploring. She tried to grab him, but he was 
too fast as he skidded down the hallway. 
"Augh! Thorne, come back!" she screamed as she abandoned her luggage. She 
wandered down hallways hoping that some vampire wouldn't find Thorne and 
think he was an after dinner snack.


From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 10:42:47 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--More Christy; More Raven
To: nunkies@world.std.com

  Sorry, woke up with an inspiration and had to act upon it. 


A strident female voice could be heard over the music.  "They're here!  I 
know they are!  I saw Patt's truck!  Let me in, you animated side of beef!"

The vampiress and her two human charges turned to see a woman struggling with 
the muscular bouncer, trying desperately to get inside.  The aforementioned 
side of beef was having a hard time keeping his hands on her, though.  The 
raving lunatic could dodge like a number one, draft pick running back.

Christy turned to Patt and said, "Is this where we yell, 'Look, a dinosaur!?'"

"Nah, kid.  We save that one for *real* emergencies.  That's just Glennis."  
She smiled.  "Janette, why don't you just let her in before 

The owner of the Raven glared balefully at the addicts.  "Mon dieu!  If you 
were not LaCroix's, I would kill you all myself!"  She gestured to the 
bouncer, and the woman walked by him calmly, but couldn't resist the 
temptation to stick out her tongue at him as she passed.  She'd never heard a 
side of beef growl before....

"Glennis!"  Christy squealed.  "Finally, we meet outside of a chat room!"  
The two addicts hugged.

"Hey, I needed to escape from the family for a while, anyway."  Glennis 

"I hate to break up this tender reunion," Janette spat, "but I believe you 
ladies...and I use the term loosely...are here for a purpose.  Let us 
accomplish this purpose so that you may be out of my unlife as quickly as 
possible, non?"  She whirled and strode toward her quarters, the mortals 
following her as quickly as possible.

As she entered the tastefully decorated boudoir, she grabbed a book from the 
shelf and shoved it toward the three.  "Here!  This book holds all of my best 
decorating secrets.  Take it and leave this place!"

Patt reached out for the book, then recoiled in fear.  "No way I'm touching 

Glennis and Christy peeked from behind Patt at the cover of the book.  
Gasping, they shielded their eyes much as vampires cowering in front of a 
religious icon.

"Such cruelty, Janette!" gasped Patt.  "I knew there was darkness in you, but 
THIS..."  She gestured at the book, the cover of which read:  "French Country 
Decorating:  Spend a Weekend, Get a Whole New Look" by M. Stewart.

"You know, Patt," Christy said with a pleading look, "I watch a whole lot of 
the Home & Garden Channel.  I'll bet I could fake it with the decorating 
stuff.  Let's face it, I'd rather get drained on the spot than have to read 
one of Stewart's books."  She looked at the cover and then averted her eyes 
again quickly.

"You're probably right," said the mature addict.  "At least with fangs in 
your throat the dying's quick."  The Third Cousin looked at Janette.  
"Thanks, but no thanks.  I guess we're just gonna have to handle this one on 
our own.  Is there a back way out of here?"

"Yes," the vampire hissed, deep blue eyes beginning to glitter with golden 
flecks.  "And the sooner you use it, the better off we *all* shall be."


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt -- Tranq, Talia and Ary
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 11:46:01 EDT

Tranquility Starr picked up the lacy underwear gingerly, and dropped it
quickly to the floor.  "Hello!!!!" she called out again, only to be
answered by silence.

Tranq continued to explore the Shrine, savoring the wondrous decadence
she'd only been able to read about up until this moment.  

"I'm in the Sacred Shrine of Nunkies," Tranq breathed aloud.  "I am truly

The tiny redhead continued her exploration, touching busts here, running
her fingers along tapestries there.  

"Odd, though," she began to think aloud, "that no one has appeared to
greet me. The NA group doesn't have a reputation for shyness, and I've
never heard of this place being empty.  Wait a minute!  I'll bet they're
all practicing their trampoline skills.  That would explain the flying

With not a small bit of excitement, Tranq retraced her steps and headed
for the rear main area of the Shrine.  Since the trampoline had not been
set up in the large anteroom off the Shrine proper, she suspected it
might be in one of the game rooms.

A small streak of fur passed between her legs, causing Tranq to lose
balance and pitch forward, just as Talia came round the corner.


The collision was spectacular.  Arms, legs, torsos -- all entwined in a
complex jumble which even sophisticated computer graphics would have been
hard-pressed to duplicate.  


"THORNE!!!!"  One of the entangled addicts shouted.  "Here, kitty!  Don't
go being breakfast, pleeeeaaasssseee!"

"Get your smiley foot off my hand!" Tranq shouted into Talia's ear.

"Get your hand off my butt!" Talia retorted.  She twisted her head and
watched in dismay as the small black and white cat disappeared between
two columns.  

"Don't get excited," Tranq braced her free hand against Talia's shoulder
and pushed hard.  "And, hold still if you want us to get free."

"Who made you boss?" Talia yelped as Tranq pushed hard against her. 
Then, noticing the red hair, Talia's voice grew a bit smaller.  "You're
not the High Priestess of Nunkies, are you?"

"Never met the lady . . . and I use the term with reverence," Tranq said,
unable to suppress a grin.  "In fact, this is my very first time in this
den of vestality.  Now, stop struggling, take a deep breath and hold

Talia's eyes grew sharp.  "What are you gonna . . . . 

"There!" Tranq cried triumphantly, pulling her leg through Talia's
crossed ankles.  "We're free."

"You killed one of my smileys!" Talia protested, staring at her torn boot
lace which lay dis-raveled on the floor.  

"Plenty of smiles to go around," Tranq said, hustling up off the tile and
extending a hand to the other addict.  "Especially when Nunkies makes 
an appearance." *sigh*

Talia echoed Tranq's sigh and accepted the help up.  Then she remembered
her purpose for running helter skelter though the Shrine.  "THORNE!!"

"Don't worry about your cat," Tranq assured the other addict.  "No
Carouches in residence this story. [so far] so no one should be looking
to chomp down on her.  She'll probably hook up with some of the other
Shrine critters and have an adventure of his own.  From what I
understand, depending on who's in residence at the time, they house quite
a menagerie around here--cats, dogs, birds, goats, camels, horses, a
donkey and even an iguana."

Talia's face brightened.  "That sounds reassuring."  

"Yep," Tranq grinned, moving away from the other women.  "At worst, kitty
Thorne would be a side dish -- hardly worth a nip."

"Hey!" Talia moved threateningly to follow the other woman, but stopped
short before she ran into the back of the now-still addict.  She looked
over Tranq's shoulder (not a hard thing to do) and felt her mouth plop
open in awe.

Just entering the Shrine was an interesting visage dressed in green tunic
and jeans.  

"Who are you supposed to be -- Robinette Hood?"  Tranq quipped.

"Nope, just an addict here to follow my General into battle," the new
arrival said proudly.  "I am Evil Freshman Arymede.  I got the message to
come and dropped everything."

"Except your cutlery," Talia grinned, reaching out to stroke one of the
knives in Ary's bandolier.  "Kind of makes you hungry, don't it?"

"Time for a trip to the kitchen/lab?" Tranq suggested eagerly.  "I've
heard that the eighth wonder of the world is in there."

"Yummmm," Ary agreed.  "Evil Freshmen live for food, and the thought of
torturing Freshmen when we're Sophomores.  Hehehehehe."

"Wait a minute," Talia said, her voice suddenly edgy.  She reached out
and caught Tranq by the shoulder.  "Don't the rats live in there?"

"RatPackers," Tranq corrected the other woman.  "And, so far I haven't
heard or seen any of them--active ones anyway."

"Still, don't you think we should look elsewhere first?  Like for
reinforcements?" Talia suggested hopefully.

"Maybe Tal's right," Ary said, sensing Talia's extreme discomfort. 
"Let's go check out some things before we hit the kitchen."

"Okay," Tranq agreed.  "I was heading to the game room anyway when I *ran
into* Tal.  Why don't we go there first."

Their destination agreed upon, the three addicts headed for the rear
Shrine area.  Noting no one in the glass-enclosed soundproof
communications room, they kept moving.  They almost passed the door
marked "Green Room," but something jogged in Ary's brain and she couldn't
resist pushing the wood and vines aside.  Talia and Tranq were down the
hall when they heard Ary's gasp of excitement.

Hurrying back to the room, Tranq and Talia skidded to a stop when they
saw Ary standing, in rapturous state, next to the edge of the . . .

"Sacred Pond of Nunkies," Ary sighed.

Talia walked over, peeked over the rim of the water and began to nod.  
"Yep, it's our pond all right.  And there's old Screedo just a-grinning
at us."

The three women looked at each other, their faces twisting in disgust. 
"Yeowwwwwww," they cried in unison.

"Appropriate reaction which I would expect from anyone who claims to
follow me," the deep velvet voice spoke from behind the addicts.  Slowly,
Talia, Tranq and Ary all rotated and stared at the figure in black, now
standing before them.

"Welcome, my newly acquired nieces," LaCroix smiled with sharkish
friendliness.  "I'm delighted that you responded to my summons so
promptly and," he looked pointedly at Ary's attire, "with such . . .
enthusiasm.  Now, here are your assignments."


From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 12:03:23 EDT
Subject: NA: Doldrum---Jen and Coup
To: nunkies@world.std.com

It doesn't look like this worked when I sent it last night, sooo....

Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble!!!

     Jennifer leaned low over Coup's neck as they galloped with the General's 
chariot team.  She had to admit, those horses were like nothing she'd ever 
seen before.  The Friesan's were massive, and their black coats immaculate.  
Not to mention those bodies were amazing.  She'd kill to own horses with 
those builds.  Their massive chests and hindquarters, and their slender, 
well-formed legs promised balance, strength, speed, and agility unmatched by 
any other animals in existance.

     Sukh was a pretty good handler, too.  Jennifer wondered where she'd 
learned to drive.

     She was also *extremely* grateful that Coup hadn't had to help pull the 
chariot.  She didn't really want to see him harnessed to *anything,* not after 
what she'd heard of the *last* time he'd been hitched to a cart.

     At the moment, she was also too bewildered by the events to think about 
the fact that she was actually letting her horse gallop.

     After Nunkies had met her outside the Shrine, he'd asked her to follow 
him.  In a few minutes, she'd found herself at the Sacred Stables.  Her jaw 
dropped when she realized that there was such a place.  Her pulse quickened 
at the thought of what could be inside.  Was Nunkies a horse enthusiast?  Had 
he known the great horsemen of the ages?  What did he know of Xenophon, or 
Colonel Alois Podhajsky?  Had he seen the Godolphin Arabian, Secretariat, or 
Man O' War first hand?

     It was only after she realized that both Coup and LaCroix were giving 
her odd stares that she stopped fantasising about Nunkies's horsiness and 
focused on the matter at hand.  Whatever that was...

     "Now, Jennifer, I have a very *special* job for you," the General purred 
in her ear.  They'd stopped just outside the stable doors.  "I want *you* to 
help your fellow Addicts prepare my horses and chariot."

     "You want me to *what*?" Jennifer exclaimed.

     "Come now, Jennifer, you've been working with horses for over six years. 
 I should think that a little thing like this wouldn't phase you."

     "But LaCoix, it's been three years since I've actually harnessed a 
horse, and even then I had a *lot* of help."

     Her protest was met by silence and an icy cold stare.

     Jennifer bowed her head and sighed.  "All right," she said, "I'll do my 

     LaCoix smiled -in his own way-.  "That's my Chevalier Addict," he said, 
taking her chin in his hand and tilting her head so her eyes met his.  "I'm 
counting on you, ma chere."  With that, he disappeared, leaving Jennifer and 
Coup alone.

     And so, Jennifer found herself inside the Stable, grooming four 
magnificent stallions.  Each had his own grooming kit, with the finest 
brushes available, and on his stall was posted a name and list of the things 
LaCroix wanted Jennifer to do.  This one needed sugar, that one a gentle back 
rub to ease his tension.

     To make matters more complicated, LaCroix wanted the horses clipped.  
Jennifer rumaged around until she finally found the electric clippers, and 
set to work cutting bridle paths and shaving whiskers.  When she was finally 
finished, she thanked every supreme being she knew off that the General had 
not wanted the horses to be braided.

     She was going out the door to check on Coup when she noticed a piece of 
yellow legal paper tacked to a message board.  It was addressed to her... 
from Uncle.  She sighed yet again and took it up.

     A few minutes later, Sukh and Tammy found her outside the Stable, 
fretting over the list and the task of harnessing the team.  With their help, 
the four horses -Julius, Cassius, Brutus, and Antony- were soon ready to go.

     As they travelled further from the Sacred Stables, a question popped 
into Jennifer's mind.

     "Hey Sukh!" Jennifer yelled over the wind of their passage.  "What's the 
deal with Angel?  You known each other long?"

     "Ask me when we get there," Sukh responded.

     Jen gladly dropped the subject when she realized that, though the 
chariot had clear passage on its side, there was an old log blocking her 
path.  "Well, Coup," she muttered, "it's time to show off, I guess."  She sat 
up and slowed him to a decent pace, counting her rythm carefully as they 
approached the obstacle.  When the time came, Coup gathered himself and 
launched his half ton form over the barrier.

     Jennifer whooped as they landed on the other side.  Sukh smiled at her, 
but Tammy stared at her like she was nuts.  Jen laughed and said "It's what I 
live for, besides Nunkies, at least."

     They finally slowed to a brisk trot and then a walk when they neared an 
old building.  They stopped at an old farm building.

     Jen dismouted and threw Coup's reins over his head and his stirrups over 
his saddle.  The other two Addicts left the chariot after Sukh secured the 
reins so they wouldn't get tangled in the team's feet.

     "So, what are we here for?" aked a slightly pale Tammy.

     Jen held up her list.  "The original 'Ben Hur' chariot harnesses.  They 
are purported to be kept in that barn.  Oh yah, he also wants us to find the 
'undiscovered' works by some Baroque artist in there.  Can't remember which 

     "In there?" Tammy asked, eyeing the decrepit structure.

     "Come on, where's your sense of adventure?" Sukh said.  Jennifer and 
Coup were already heading in.  She took Tammy in tow and followed.


Okay, who wants to take up the storyline and explain the Ben Hur thing?

To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt -- Patt/Christy/Glennis
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 12:34:24 EDT

Hey Christy!  You go girl.  Your morning inspiration was divine!!

And, Sukh, looks like Christy nabbed Glennis away from you.  Oh, well. 


The three women ran swiftly out the back door of the Raven, halting
briefly in the alley to catch their breath.

"That was a near escape."  Glennis puffed in exhaustion.  "Almost as
scary as a hard drive crash.  What do we do now?"

Patt was bent over, hands pressed against her knees, her chest heaving.
"I'm thinking."

"That's even scarier," Glennis responded.

"I wanted a bar fight," Christy pouted.  

Patt glared at her.  "You'd better be glad that you wrote the Martha S.
thingee, 'cause if you'd started a bar fight at the Raven, we'd all be
anatomical study aids about now.  You do *not* stage bar fights in the

"I want a bar fight," Christy repeated.

"Don't worry, Chris," Glennis walked over and draped an arm around the
newbies' shoulder.  "This is Patt writing--there *will* be a bar fight
before the weekend is over.  It just needs to be on neutral ground--away
from fanged types."  Glennis looked at Patt for confirmation.  "Right?"   

The mature addict growled in reply, straightening her posture at the same

"Right," Glennis concluded, clasping her hands together.  "Now, what's
next on the list?"

Patt eyed the new arrival with suspicion.  "What do you know about the

"Errr, ahhh, errrr, ahhh . . ." Glennis grinned crookedly.  "A  . . .
friend told me?"

"What friend?" Patt pressed, her tone allowing for no argument.

"Errrr, ahhh . . . Vachon."  Glennis shrugged her shoulders, her grin
fading slightly.

"Damn Slacker!"  Patt shouted upward as the darkened alley resounded with
a dark chuckle.  "Get out of my hard drive!!!"

"Get a new computer!" the voice of the Spaniard bounced off the buildings
lining the alley.  "You sure do need one.  It is getting awfully cramped
in this old 486."

"Like I don't know!!!" Patt shouted back.  

"Whow!  Talk about dinosaurs," Christy offered.

"Patt?"  The Third Cousin whirled to find Glennis smiling sheepishly at
her.  "Can we go for camel rides?"

Patt threw up her hands, turned and began stalking up the alley.  "Sure,
why not?  I'm just a poor abused addict with nothing to do but tax my
imagination to please the masses.  Bar fights, camel rides -- I'm just
here to amuse everyone.  That's my calling."  Mumble, mumble, mumble.

Christy and Glennis glanced at each other, then obediently began
following the swiftly striding Patt out of the alley.  They were too far
away, however, to effectively intervene in what happened next.

As Patt reached the far end of the alley, a dark black car of expensive
design braked suddenly in front of the path of the mature addict.  Two
very large young men jumped from the Jaguar and bustled a howling Patt
into the vehicle.  Doors slammed and the car sped off, leaving Christy
and Glennis gaping in its wake.

"Someone has kidnapped the Third Cousin!" Christy cried, coming to her
vocal senses first.  "What do we do now?"

"I have Patt's spare truck keys," Glennis said, holding up the ring. 
"Let's give chase!"

"But, I have Nunkies' list!" Christy replied.  "Which is more important
-- saving the mature one . . . or doing Nunkies bidding?"

The women stared at each other for a moment.  

"What's next on the list?"


Okay, Chris.  You and Glen have fun.  I'll be back with you both in the
future.  Patt   


From: JBejar1989@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 13:05:16 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Jill & Javiette
To: nunkies@world.std.com

"A  6-foot adobe cineraria with five outlet chambers, six-hundred peach
votive candles with matching silver-lace holders and enough garland to
shroud the Shrine proper.  What on earth is a cineraria?" exclaimed Javiette.

"Well, it says here that a cineraria is a common hot house plant of the 
composite family with heart shaped leaves and colorful flowers.  A 
cinerarium is a place to keep ashes of cremated bodies and a cinerator 
is a furnace for cremation."  Jill pronounced triumphantly as she closed 
the Websters New World Dictionary before returning it to the depths of 
her purse/backpack.

"What?  What?"  Jill held out a handful of honey sticks and 
nonchalantly tucked the handcuffs that had fallen out of the 
bag, back in.  "Honey stick?" she offered.

Javiette blinked.  "Thanks."

"Hmmmm...Candles, holders, and garland...Check, check, and check."  
Jill crossed the appropriate items off the list.  

"What?  Where?"  asked Javiette with a puzzled look.  

"In the back of the van."  Jill shrugged and offered Javiette a sheepish grin.
"The girls' Bridging ceremony was last week and I haven't unloaded the 
extra stuff yet."

"Ok, a  6-foot adobe cineraria with five outlet chambers...not your common 
hothouse flower I presume.  I don't know about you,  but I do not want to be
the addict responsible for bringing a large furnace type object into the 
shrine." Javiette looked inquiringly at the taller addict.

Jill nodded back.  "I vote we hold off on that until we get confirmation 
from a more reliable source.  Soooooo...that leaves...."  Both women
wandered towards the sacred cold pond.  "No way, no how am I going
to..." Jill began.

Rae reached over and grabbed her arm.  Both addicts turned to each 
other and began to smile.  There was only one reason the three addicts
standing at the side of the pool would have that look on their faces.  
They quickly scanned the room for signs of Nunkies.  

"Damn!  We missed him." Jill muttered.  "Just my luck."

Rae looked over at Jill and whispered quietly.  Two sets of blue eyes 
met in perfect understanding, and a dangerous grin spread across 
their faces.    

"Meltdown alert!" they called in unison.  Water balloons filled the air
as they began to bombard the three dazed addicts as fast as they 
could produce them from the bag slung over Jill's shoulder.  

Well, I'm on my out the door.  Off to Toronto for real to see
Nigel at a charity appearance tonite.  Play nice...
See you tomorrow....
	Jill aka the shy one

From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 16:33:50 EDT
Subject: Re: NA: Doldrum Update--the players
To: nunkies@world.std.com

It's short.  It's probably cheesy.  It's what you get when Mom's cleaning 
house and telling me to get off the computer.  :-)

     It turned out not to be *too* hard to find what they were looking for in 
the barn.  The paintings were stored in the loft amongst the remains of straw 
bales.  They were covered with dust sheets and in remarkably good condition.  
They had the typical feeling of Baroque art, detailed and passionate, but one 
thing made them stand out.  Each of the figures depicted in them had glowing 
eyes of green, yellow, and even red.  A few of the subjects had fangs 
exposed, and all were obviously vampires.

     The chariot harnesses were easier to find.  They were hung in the tack 
room on blunt iron hooks fixed to the crumbling walls.  Jennifer sneezed as 
she lifted them up and threw two sets over Coup's back and the other two sets 
over her shoulders.  The leather was gray with dust, and the brass tarnished.

     "I wouldn't be surprised if my list says to clean these off, too," she 
muttered.  Then, she put them into the chariot with the paintings and mounted 
her horse.

     "Well, O gracious experienced one," she said to Sukh as the other Addict 
took up the team's reins, "where to now?"

     "We have a backhoe to meet, or did you forget?"

     Jen slapped her forehead with her hand.  "Yes, I did.  Why do we need a 

     "For one thing, Nunkies wants it.  Now let's get going, okay?"

     "Yes Ma'am," Jennifer said, throwing a cheesy mock salute.  Sukh urged 
the team into a brisk trot and Coup followed without being asked.

     On their way, Sukh tossed some questions at Tammy.  "So, Tammy, can you 
drive a backhoe?"

     "I could try," Tammy said.

     "Good," said Sukh, "otherwise I'd have to teach you to drive these 
boys." She nodded towards the horses.

     "Uh, Sukh," Jennifer suddenly said.

     "Yes?" asked the more experienced Addict.

     "Care to tell me why Screed and about five other Carouche-looking 
vampires are standing in the middle of the road?"
Your turn, Sukh.  :-)

From: "Tranquility Starr" 
Subject: NA: Re: Summer Doldrums--Patt -- Tranq, Talia and Ary
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 17:15:54 -0500

The first thing she saw after looking was a green water balloon as it pelted
her in the face.  Tranq. was not happy!

Sorry for the cruddy post, guys, I'm sleep-deprived as it is.  I think I'll
demote my status from writer to participant.  I hereby allow you guys to do
anything you wish with me except anything involving livestock.



From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 17:48:19 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy & Glennis sans Patt
To: nunkies@world.std.com

"You know," Christy said to Glennis, "that black Jag looked kinda familiar.  
Wish we could've gotten the tag number.  Think maybe we should call Nicky-poo 
and alert him to the fact that I'm missing my mature mentor?"

"Hey, Patt's good at taking care of herself.  Besides, TOG would like nothing 
more than to stick us all behind bars and throw away the key."  Glennis said 
as she skillfully maneuvered Patt's truck through the Toronto traffic.

"Um, you don't think the slacker's going to try to wrest story control from 
us, do you?  I mean, how could he have known to tell you about the list if he 
hadn't been reading?  And what if he's reading ahead again?"

"Never mind about that now.  If he's of a mind to try to get story control 
again, he'll give it a try.  If not, he'll lay low.  Slacker that he is, 
he'll probably just sit back and let US do all the hard work.  Now, what's 
the next item on the list?"

"Oh my," Christy said in a small voice.  "Oh my."

"What is it?"

"This one's going to get us in trouble.  I *knew* if I followed the Third 
Cousin around too long, I'd wind up a fugitive from Canadian justice!  I'll 
probably wind up surrounded by Mounties!" the redhead wailed.  She stopped 
short as she considered her last statement and grinned.  "Well, okay, so 
maybe being surrounded by Mounties wouldn't be so bad...."

Glennis was beginning to lose patience with her friend, the ex-Queen 
o'Denial.  "What ARE you blathering about?"

"The Loft.  We have to go to the Loft and get TOG's universal remote."

Glennis considered the statement.  "Well," she offered, "at least he doesn't 
kill people anymore."

"Yeah, but with a couple of addicts, what do you want to bet he'll consider a 
return to the dark side?  *Especially* if those addicts steal his beloved 
universal remote."

"Well, in that case, YOU get to do it.  I'll wait in the getaway vehicle.  
You're so new, you could plead ignorance.  You know, just say it was an 
initiation prank or something."

"Couldn't we just find the nearest Wal-Mart and buy an exact duplicate?" 

Glennis gave Christy a level look.  "You really want to take the chance that 
Nunkies won't know the difference?"

Christy sighed and said, "Let's go get the durn thing.  At least it's the 
next to last item on this godawful list."


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Patt -- Jules/Patt
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 17:54:14 EDT

Wedged between the two Amana-sized menfolk squeezed into the backseat of
the Jaguar, Patt felt a bit uneasy.

Lifting her eyes slightly, she began assessing the situation.  The first
thing she noticed was expected--the auburn tresses of the High Priestess
of Nunkies gleamed like flame before her eyes.

The second thing she noticed was unexpected.  Instead of the HP occupying
the coveted driver seat, a burly fellow in chauffeur attire was behind
the wheel.

"Hey, Jules."  Patt tried to make her voice as cheerful as possible. 
"Long time, no see."

"For which you should be grateful," the HP replied, never turning her


"Errrr, Jules."

"Yes, Patt."

"What's with the bodyguards and the driver-type?  Don't you usually like driving

A dark snort, followed by a choking cough.  "LaCroix felt it might be ... 
safer if I had a driver, at least until that minor accident last War is
expunged from my record."



"Yes, Patt."

"I'm getting kinda cramped back here?  Are we going to be driving for

"I'm not sure, dear."  Jules turned her profile to Patt and addressed the
driver.  "Fleet, just how far away *is* Lake Ontario?"

A few moments later, the Jaguar braked easily in front of a small, but
busy, coffee shop.  Helped by one of the back seat boys, Jules exited the
vehicle.  "Wait here," she instructed the men, then turned to face Patt
for the first time.  "You, come with me."

Cappucinos ordered, the women sat opposite each other.

"So, how goes the *scavenger* hunt?" Jules asked easily.

"Okay," Patt said, trying to sound calm.  Then she grinned.  "Is that why
you're back in town--LaCroix summoned you, too?"

"I did change my Paris vacation plans somewhat, upon Nunkies' request,"
Jules replied, inspecting her perfectly manicured fingernails.  

"Called you back to do grunt work like the rest of us," Patt's grin

Jules' eyes glittered dangerously.  "Careful, Elmore.  I still have the
power to punish you--severely."

Patt sat back, subdued.  "That's better," Jules noted.  "Now, back to
your task list--how much more do have to do until you've completed it?"

Patt sat up, now grinning proudly.  "Just about got it all done.  Maybe
I'll make Nunkies proud this . . ."  The Third Cousin's face was growing
quite crestfallen as her patting of pockets produced no Nunkies' list.

"Don't bother, Patt.  You don't have the list anymore," Jules took a sip
of her recently arrived coffee and smiled sweetly.  "It was pilfered
while you were at the Raven."

"Now who would have done that?"  Patt complained, but grew quiet as the
HP's smile widened.  "You?"

"I was at the Raven when you and your two . . . friends, bumbled into the
club," Jules said.  "Knowing approximately your reason for being there, I
asked one of Janette's *friends* to lift the note from your person. 
Since it wasn't particularly interesting, and I perceived that your
personal attention  would not be needed to finish the tasks, I instructed
Janette's friend to return the note to one of the other addicts--Christy?
 She seems to be rather bright . . ."

"So I'm not needed anymore, as usual," Patt sat back dejected.  "Another
failure chalked up for good, old Elmore."

"Don't worry yourself about it, dear.  This whole project was doomed from
the start."

Patt gave Jules a wary look.  It wasn't too often that the HP had
anything ill to say about anything relating to LaCroix.  Jules' statement
of her feelings about LaCroix's remodeling plans was almost sacrilege.

"Errrr, are you through with me?"  Patt was very uncomfortable sitting
this close to the auburn haired priestess.

"No," Jules replied.  With elegant grace, the HP reached into her bag and
extracted a rolled parchment scroll with polished ivory handles, neatly
tied with a strand of silk cord.  "While you were off gathering trinkets,
I was given orders to supervise the actual construction."  Jules loosed
the cord and gently spread the parchment out on the table. 

"WOW!" Patt breathed out a gasp as the plans were spread out before her. 
"Check out that new fireplace!  What's that squiggly line there?"  The
Third Cousin indicated a curve which ran across the length of the Shrine

"We'll get to that in a minute," Jules said impatiently.  "Right now, I'd
like you to look at the second floor."

"What second floor?" Patt blinked.  "It's gone."

"Exactly," Jules agreed.  "Nunkies' redecorating plans call for gutting
almost two-thirds of the addict sleeping cells to create a Sacred Upper
Meditation and Study room.  Also, the plans call for enlarging the
sleeping quarters of the NunkMommy, High Priestess and Scribe."

"Figures," Patt muttered.  Then she pointed to an area on the scroll. 
"There are four bedrooms, Jules.  Who gets the fourth one?"

"Down, girl," Jules admonished.  "That room has been designated for the
ScoutMistress.  Nunkies feels that with her duties--keeping track of the
scouts and their numerous, often delicate, activities-- the
ScoutMistress needs extra space in which to work."

"That, and he's always had a soft spot for Fleurette," Patt muttered
again.  Then something caught the Louisiana woman's eye.  "Jules . . .
what is this little room added on to your bedroom here?"

"Oh," Jules smiled sweetly.  "That's my new private billiards room."


"Back to business," Jules said, shaking off her glazed look.  

"Yea, with the second floor sleeping chambers gone, where does Nunkies
plan for us to sleep?" Patt whined.

"This is where LaCroix's construction plans become more . . . profuse,"
Jules replied.  She rolled the scroll out further.  "He would like to add
a third floor of more elegant sleeping chambers," she stretched out more
of the parchment, "and build a rooftop courtyard," she rolled it out
further, "a wall-based, covered walkway," further still, "and *turrets.*"

"KEWL!"  Patt's eyes were fixed on the marvelous modifications which
Nunkies had proposed.  She looked up at Jules and spoke eagerly.  "Can we
build a tower, too?  To keep the baddies, like the Grand High Poobah, in?  Huhh, can

"How do you propose we pay for this?" Jules asked quietly.

"Isn't Nunkies going to pay for it?

"There's nothing in the plans that would indicate that to be fact," Jules
sighed, rerolling the scroll and retieing the ribbon.  "And, with us
already having problems with the Canadian tax people and our money
problems with the Cayman bank account . . ."

"We're flat broke," Patt finished for the HP.

"That's about it," Jules agreed unhappily.  "Therefore this project is
just that . . . just a project."

"Just a dream," Patt nodded.  "And all of our work has been for nothing
but LaCroix's amusement."

"Perhaps not," Jules smiled.  "Most of what the addicts have been
gathering so far is garnish, and can be used in the Shrine as it
currently stands.  And, as it was chosen with Annie's tastes in mind, it
will make a nice homecoming celebration for her."

"Okay, but the others are going to be disappointed that their efforts
were kind of wasted, considering what the ultimate end would have been."

"But," Jules instructed the other addict, "only *we* know of the real
construction plans.  Unless we tell them, the addicts will be clueless
and, therefore, no happy little triumphs will be dashed."

Patt thought this over for a minute.  "I see what you're saying.  Say
nothing, and votive candles will be good enough."

"Exactly.  And, to make everyone feel even better, I suggest we throw a
little *victory* celebration."  Jules reached for her cell phone and
began punching numbers into the device.  "I'll make reservations at
Ying's Things--it's a new Chinese restaurant which makes a Kuo Pa Jou Tin
to absolutely die for."   

"Sound's good," Patt grinned.  "And, I guess we should actually be happy
that the actual building plans fell through.  Just think about how ticked
off a certain little person of our mutual acquaintance would have been if
she'd have had to go onto the website and put up a new floor plan .gif."

Jules smiled slightly in reply.  "Patt, one other thing."

"Yes, Jules?

"There's a backhoe parked in the Jaguar's parking spot in front of the
Peach.  Move it."

"Yes, Ma'am."


Okay, guys.  The weekend adventure is about to wind down for me. You can
keep hunting if you'd like, but anyone who wants to be in the
restaurant/fight arc should have their search arcs wrapped up and be
heading for Ying's Things by 7 p.m. CST.  I'll log on at 7:15 and check
for posts at that time, then write and post the *bar fight.*

Thanks for joining in.  You've all done great!!


From: "Tranquility Starr" 
Subject: Re: NA: RE:  Ary, Tranq and Talia
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:42:10 -0500

After the well-aimed water balloon beaned her in the face, she jumped back,
and dove for cover behind a pillar holding a bust of
Nunkies....Hehehee...they wouldn't dare throw anymore her way, lest the
destroy the precious bust....

What she wouldn't give for her paintball gun right now!

Tranq. searched for Talia and Ary, and spotted them behind a nearby palm.

"Guys! We're kinda out numbered!  Ideas would be really skeggin' right about


From: Ravenx3744@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 20:07:14 EDT
Subject: Re: NA: RE:  Ary, Tranq and Talia
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Talia shrieked as a water balloon exploded on the back of her head. She dove 
for cover behind a convieniantly placed potted plant. She winced when she 
saw one of the water balloons hit Tranq squarly in the face. Talia reached in 
her pockets to see if she had anything useful to help them out. 

All she could find was a handfull of pixie stix. 

She smacked herself in the head when she realized all her good stuff was in her 
suitcase which she left somewhere in one of the hallways. 

Talia turned to Ary, who had joined her behind the plant as they were pelted 
by more balloons. "Got any ideas on what we should do? I'm all fresh out of 'em. "


Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 18:52:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: Arymede 
Subject: NA: Doldrums - Ary, Tranq, Talia
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Ary turned to the drenched Talia beside her. "Come on!
Us newbies can't be messed with like this! When they
strike, we strike back!"

Talia looked at her with an uncomprehending gaze.

Ary grinned wickedly. "Well, we're already soaked,
aren't we? Let's go get them wet!" She gestured
towards the Sacred Cold Pond.

Talia began to get her drift. They managed to get to
the pillar Tranq was hiding behind with a minimum of
incoming water, and explained the plan to her. Ary
quickly took off her weaponry, which was damned
uncomfortable, anyway. "I don't want them to rust,"
she explained.

"What *is* the deal with those, anyway?" asked Tranq.

"Well, I've been led to believe that when Nunkies
calls, we come running. So, Nunkies called, and I
came. Despite the fact I was in the middle of another
story at the time. Anyway, let's go!"

Ary ~ tDB
Gone for now...

From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:04:57 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy/Glennis/The Remote
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Glennis turned off the lights as she quietly rolled the truck to a halt next 
to the warehouse which served as Nick Knight's home.  Getting out, the two 
addicts carefully considered the best way to gain (illegal) entry to the 
Loft.  Nodding decisively, Glennis reached behind the seat of the truck and 
pulled out a length of rope.

"What?" asked Christy.  "You planning to lasso the remote from here?"

"Nope.  You're going on a little climbing expedition," said Glennis as she 
began tying a knot in the rope.  "Let's see," she mumbled to herself, "Is it 
'the squirrel goes around the tree and down the hole' or 'the squirrel comes 
out of the hole and around the tree?'"

"Climbing?  As in 'up?'" Christy gulped.  "Um...Glennis, did I ever mention 
to you that I'm afraid of heights?"

"Hmmm?" answered Glennis, still trying to figure out the tree and squirrel 
puzzle.  "No, I don't think you did."

"Well, consider it mentioned."

"That's nice, dear," said the preoccupied addict.  "Do you really want to 
explain to Nunkies that you were too afraid of heights to get Nicky's remote 
for him?  He'd probably just fly you up to the top of the CN tower and leave 
you there for a week or two in order to help you get over your fear."

A whimpering sound came from Christy's general direction.  "All right, I'll 
do it, but I'm, by God, NOT going to like it!"

"There's a brave girl," smiled Glennis as she slipped the rope over Christy's 
head and guided it up under her arms.  "First thing we have to do is get you 
on the roof."


"Well, of course.  How else do you propose to enter through the skylight?"


After much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, the ex-Queen o'Denial 
reached the relative safety of the warehouse roof and stood at the edge of 
the skylight.  She was in luck.  It was open.

Christy scanned the skies above her, making certain there were no incoming 
vampires.  Normally, Nick only left the skylight open for his kindred.  There 
didn't seem to be anyone aloft, but one never knew when the other shoe might 

Walking to the edge of the roof, she called to Glennis, who was busy tying 
the other end of the rope to the truck.

"Okay, doesn't look like anybody's home.  What the heck are you doing?"

"Getting ready to lower you into the Loft, of course."

"Shouldn't you be doing that by hand?"

"Not enough upper body strength," came the reply.  "Don't worry, nothing bad 
will happen.  Trust me."

"Famous last words," muttered the newbie addict as she sat on the edge of the 
skylight and waited for the rope to go taut.  When it did, she slipped off 
the edge and hung dangling like a chandelier over Nick's unliving room.  She 
spotted her quarry on an end table near the sofa.  

Giving two quick tugs on the rope, she found herself slowly being lowered into 
the room.  Reaching the floor and allowing some slack in the rope, she snatched 
up the remote and tugged once again.  Slowly but surely, she was lifted toward 
the skylight once again.  She breathed a sigh of relief and then heard the elevator 
motor start.  Someone was coming!

Christy's feet had just cleared the skylight when Nat stepped from the 
elevator.  "Nick?  Nick, are you home yet?  Are you up there on the roof?"

Running as quietly as possible to the side of the building, Christy saw 
Glennis standing beside the still-running truck.

"Hurry!" Glennis said.  "I just saw Nat go in the building.  TOG can't be too 
far behind!"

"It took me 20 minutes to climb up here, Glennis.  Just how the devil do you 
expect me to get down in less time?"

They both spotted the Caddy at the same time.  

"Jump!" Glennis yelled.

Christy hesitated a moment, torn between images of lying smashed on the 
pavement below and having her throat torn out by an enraged vampire.  Oh 
sure, Nicky would angst over it after the deed was done, but....  She opted 
for the better part of valor and jumped.

Luckily, the overstuffed harem pillows that she and Patt had picked up 
earlier in the day broke her fall.  She pulled the rope over her head as 
Glennis jumped into the driver's seat and drove away from the scene slowly, 
so as not to attract attention.  Christy ducked down into the bed of the 
truck as the caddy passed them and pulled into the garage.  Glennis stopped 
down the street and let Christy get in the passenger's seat.

Grinning from ear to ear and green eyes shining, Christy held up the remote 
control.  "We did it, girlfriend!  We got TOG's most prized possession!"  The 
crack of a resounding high five broke the silence of the night as the 
giggling addicts drove away.


Back in the Loft, Nick rode up the elevator wearing a puzzled expression.  
That truck had looked awfully familiar.  And why was it carrying a load of 
what had appeared to be harem pillows?  He shrugged.  Maybe he'd have a 
flashback about the truck later on that would help him solve the mystery.

Sliding the lift door open, he strode over to Nat, giving her a peck on the 

"So, are you ready for tonight's movie?" he asked.

"Yeah.  How about 'Key Largo?'" replied Nat.

"Sounds good."  Nick reached for his remote, only to find that it wasn't 
there.  He was certain he'd left it right there on the end table.  "Nat, have 
you seen my universal remote?"

"No, can't say that I have," came the answer.

And so Nick Knight did the only thing that any male, living or undead, would 
do in such a circumstance.  He tore the place apart looking for his precious 


From: "Shele" 
To: "nunkies" 
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Shele
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:11:05 -0700


In the darkness, a green eye opened and slowly focused on the closed door.
A moment of silence passed, and the eye began its retreat upward behind a
drooping lid.


At this, both eyes opened, and Shele stumbled over to the source of the
noise. Opening the door cautiously, her eyes grew even wider as they
followed the hand, poised to rap once more, down past the leather-clad
wrists and muscle-bound forearms, up to the firmly rounded biceps,
sloooooowly cross the finely-worked leather vest, and finally up to the
broad smile and twinkling eyes that shone down on her. Casting furtive
glances down the hallways, Shele grabbed a fistful of leather-clad man and
pulled. She wondered if the cat scrappling down the hall would tattle on
her, but decided the furry creature might know when to keep its mouth shut.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here." She took the grand tour of her
'guest'. "Does Madame KiKi know you've come home?"

"Well, I...Hey!" Black locks danced as his head swiveled to watch his
captor, the grand tour having taken on a decidely 'touchy-feely' aspect.
"No, she doesn't know I've come home, because I haven't -- I'm on break.
I'm supposed to give you this."

Shele clapped her hands, "More presents?! Glorious day!" As she tore into
the smaller-than-a-breadbox container, her heart sank. Yep, nestled within
the tissue stuffed confines was a Chicklet-filled *toy* lightsaber. Her
eyes narrowed as they espied the accompanying note. 'I trust you have
almost completed your tasks.'

She shook her raised fist at the sky, "Sometimes, LaCroix, you go too far!"
It might have been her imagination, but she thought she heard an answering
chuckle. Movement to her left caught her attention. "Where do you think
you're going, Ted?"

"I have to get back to the phones! Madame Kiki will have a fit if I don't
get back, pronto!"

"Pronto?  *Pronto*?! You just remind *Madame* Kiki that you're mine and
when it's time for War, dear boy, you'll be right back here as full-time
mascot for the Nunkies Addicts!" She called through the already closed
door, but did not get an answer. "Do you hear me? Full-time!!"

Frowning, she picked up the list Nunkies had given her. 'Fifty gallons of
strawberry gel, 3 gross legos and a bookcase.'  It was just like him to be
maddeningly vague. She opened the door and saw the cat still standing in
the hallway, dumbstruck, as it were.

"'T's okay, it wasn't the real God of War, just a look-alike from our last
War." She cooed. "He's really harmless, trust me."

The cat was only slightly moved by this declaration and watched the PL
stumble away, mumbling to herself the whole way.

"There once was a vampire named Screed
On mousies and ratsies he'd feed
     His face 'though not wretched
     'Twas forever etch-ed
Somewhere little kids shouldn't pee......d

"While swimming along Addicts found
A sight which helped fight the pound
     'Though some thought it neat-o
     Screed dressed in a Speedo
Was something.... round, drowned, sound... ground, browned, gowned....

The cat listened as to the sound growing fainter and weighed his choices.
Follow the sound or return the way he came and perhaps get captured by his
person.  He turned and retraced his

-shele, who is disastrously behind

From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:42:27 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy/Glennis--The Final Piece
To: nunkies@world.std.com

"Just one more thing left on the list," Christy crowed.

"And what might that be?"

"Potted palms.  One hundred of them."

"And where are we supposed to get potted palms?" Glennis inquired, her 
euphoria over their safe getaway with TOG's remote control beginning to die 
as she considered this newest challenge.

"What about that Feliks guy?  Isn't he the plant vamp?"

"Well, yeah, but why should he give us 100 potted palms?  Heck, why would he 
HAVE 100 potted palms?"

"Hey, I'm the newbie, remember?" Christy said indignantly.  "I'm having 
enough trouble just coming up with this stuff."

"Okay, okay.  Don't get your panties in a wad," Glennis said.  "Sheesh!"  She 
turned down the road leading to Feliks' All-Night Nursery.

Oddly enough, upon arrival at Feliks' place, the vampire was on hand to greet 
them.  "The HP called ahead and ordered these," he explained as he helped 
them load the truck.  "She figured you two would manage to figure out that 
this is the only all-night nursery in Toronto."

Christy gave Glennis a victorious look.  Glennis stuck out her tongue.  They 
both giggled.

Truck ponderously loaded and nearly scraping the pavement, the two women 
thanked Feliks for his assistance and started to pull off.

"Wait!" he called.  "I almost forgot to give you your message."

The truck stopped and two heads stuck out of the cab, which was stuffed with 
potted palms and resembled a miniature tropical rain forest.

"The HP says you're to drop off all your items at the Shrine, clean up and 
dress for dinner and join the rest of the addicts at a restaurant called 
Ying's Things for a victory celebration."

"Thanks again, Feliks!" Glennis said, waving merrily as she pulled out into 



Having finally unloaded all the crap...um...decorative items gathered over 
the course of the weekend, Glennis and Christy treated themselves to a lovely 
hot bath and a trip to the Sacred Sauna.

Glennis looked wonderful in her clingy black silk dress and heels.  A replica 
of Nunkies' sword stickpin skewered the high collar of the Chinese-inspired 
dress.  Christy had opted for the emerald green off-the-shoulder green silk 
with which Nunkies had gifted her during her Disney World fantasy.  A strand 
of pearls and pearl earrings completed the outfit.  Wearing their finery, 
they crawled into the now-clean cab of Patt's truck and headed for the 

"You know, Glennis," Christy said.  "I'm really feeling badly about not 
putting anybody on Patt's trail."

"Yeah, me too," said Glennis.  "But I just have this sneaking suspicion that 
she'll show up at the restaurant."

"Maybe she just left us on our own as a test."

"Yeah, maybe."

The two drove on in silence, trying not to contemplate what fate may have 
befallen the Third Cousin.


From: "Shele" 
To: "nunkies" 
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Shele III
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 21:13:36 -0700

"Gel... gel... who would have fifty gallons.... hmmmm. Are strawberries
even *in* season in Canada? And what about the legos? Three gross? Three
gross of what kind of legos? What size, what shape, what color? At least
the bookcase is a little easier. But how many shelves? How tall?" Shele
felt two eyes bore into her back. "Yes, I'm talking to myself, what's it to
ya? Oh, hi Jules! Didn't know you were here."

"I'm just on my way out actually. I thought about inviting you along, but
it doesn't look like you've finished your chores yet." The High Priestess
stared pointedly at the list held in Shele's hand. As her gaze returned to
the Addict's face, Jules arched an eyebrow. "In fact, I doubt you'll even
be able to join us for dinner."

"Dinner?!?! But I'm starving! This isn't fair!"

"Fair? Since when has LaC-- *life* been fair? If you were so interested in
dinner, you shouldn't have wasted so much time playing with your toys."

"But Ted was hardly even here! He only stopped by for a few seconds."
Seeing that the HP had not been moved by a tsunami of understanding, Shele
decided that she'd chosen the wrong toy. "I didn't know it would break if I
twisted it that way! I promise I'll clean up all the Chicklets when I get
back from... shopping! Yeah, shopping for the things on my list! My list
from LaCroix!  Well, could you guys at least pick me up something?

At last the High Priestess sighed, true it was one of those certified,
verified, bona fide, and slightly countrified, 'Why Me' kind of sighs, but
it was heaven to Shele's ears. "We'll see."

"Thank you, Jules! That's all I'm asking -- just a chance!" Shele hurried
around the corner and out the door before she could get herself in more
trouble. Once she'd gone half a block, she turned to make sure she was
alone. "We'll see? *We'll **see***? I don't see her gallivanting around
searching for the odds and ends of the universe. Noooo, she's back at the
Shrine, sipping her tea and chatting with Nunkies.'Would you care for more
tea, my dear?' 'Oh, yes, Nunkies, if you please!' 'One lump as usual?' "You
know me too well, darling.' "

So involved was she in her ranting, Shele didn't notice the black car as it
pulled up beside her. Nor did she notice as the car started moving to keep
pace with her. No, it was only when the blackened rear window slid down to
reveal the High Priestess, that Shele knew she was not alone. She smiled
weakly at the auburn haired occupant, who merely shook her head and
motioned the driver to move on.

Shele suddenly remembered KC's Law: The only thing that cures getting
caught, is not getting caught doing something else. She looked at LaCroix's
list and started to smile. Soon the smile became a grin, which somehow
turned into a cackle. The people she passed on the street turned and stared
in wide wonder, but Shele didn't stop -- she was on a mission. On a mission
on foot. Her feet skidded to a halt and she turned to see her car, now a
full two blocks away. "Ah, there you are, my little rental wheels! Are you
ready to take a trip?" The cackle returned to roost.

-shele, oh-so-slowly catching up

From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:19:05 EDT
Subject: NA: SummerDoldrums-Sukh/Jen, Coup, & Tammy
To: nunkies@world.std.com

I hate when family time eats into your writing time...

I'm catching up!


"Oh, man!"  Sukh slowed the team and turned on her ear comm unit. "Houston, 
we have a problem."

"Tell me," Michael answered.

"Carouches."  Sukh frowned as Screed started to approach the skittish horses.


"Hold on," Sukh watched as Screed looked over her horses, then came to the 
side of the chariot.

"Aye 'ear yar tail there's a forlick 'ere about -"

"Do you know where we can get," Sukh scanned her list.  " Fifty dozen ostrich 
plumes, and twenty Cirque d' Soeil tightrope walkers?"

"Aye kin man-'andle h'it!"  Screed ran his hands over the Chariot "but ya 
gotta slick me paws foirst n' mostest."  

"One sec." Sukh turned and whispered to Michael. "I need foil, really good 
stuff, maybe some Arctic tents and sleeping bags with the foil cloth."


"To get my mission done.  I need a couple of dozen each."  

"I can get it in thirty minutes."  

"Deal. Screed, I can give you shiny pretty clothes and tents for all your 
buds.  Half now, half on delivery of the goods to the Shrine."

Screed nodded and smiled.  As Sukh set the chariot back in motion with a 
"High Ho Nunkies" and a whiplash inducing jolt, the chariot, Coup and Jennifer 
took off.

Ten minutes later Sukh slowed down again.  She could see the bulk of the 
backhoe in a streetlight, but that wasn't Walter sitting in the driver's seat. 
"Jennifer, hang back.  If there's trouble hightail it back to the Shrine."

Jennifer nodded and slowed Coup to a slow trot behind the Chariot.

"What's wrong?"  Tammy watched Sukh stiffen.
"Nothing.  Be ready to run."  

Tammy's eyes widened.  "That wasn't reassuring."

"It wasn't meant to be."  

Sukh reached into her trenchcoat and took out her special Section Tranq gun 
as they got closer to the backhoe.  "Michael?"  


"Walter isn't on the backhoe."


Sukh relaxed a fraction.

"I didn't know you knew how to drive a chariot." 

"Your spying on me aren't you?"  Sukh put her gun away.

"Actually, I'm handing over the backhoe.  I've sent Walter to find the foil 
you need."

"Oh."  Sukh pulled up to where Michael sat, looking very unhappy in the seat 
of the backhoe.

"I don't like doing favors for that vampire."  Michael growled as he stepped 
down to the ground.  "Besides, I've heard that other TV shows were involved."

Jennifer walked Coup over.  "Just Buffy for us, and you guys."  Jennifer 
grinned. "So far."

"And Angel?"  

"He's around."

"I see."  He held out a wrapped object.  "The MacCousin said you needed 

Sukh peeked in the package.  "Cool beans. Tammy is driving the backhoe."

Michael handed Tammy the keys.  She climbing in the small construction 
equipment and started it up.

"I need you back in the Harem by Tuesday night.  Dorf is on MR until after 

"Will do."  Sukh clicked to the Friesians and wheeled the Chariot around. 
Tammy managed to get the backhoe in the right direction after an interesting 
lurching circle maneuver.  

"Hey, Sukh!"  Tammy called as she rolled along.


"This thing isn't very fast."

"Okay." Sukh turned to Jennifer.  "Find the paint." She handed Jennifer a 
scrap of evil pink cloth.  "In this shade, and fifty super soakers."

"Will do."  Jennifer wheeled Coup around.  

"Rendezvous in forty minutes."  

Jennifer nodded and took off.

"Tammy can you find your way back to the Shrine okay?"


"Good I need to make a pit stop at the Hive."  

"I could follow you there," Tammy suggested as Sukh gathered the reins and 
wrapped herself to the body of the chariot.

"I'll be there and back before you get to the Shrine,"  Sukh pointed out.  
Construction equipment wasn't known for speed.

"True.  Meet me on the way then?" 

"Sure,"  Sukh promised as she slapped the reins and clattered off.


From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:35:56 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Sukh, Jenneifer,Coup, & Tammy(Again)
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Sukh pulled up short as her five Carouche buds from earlier showed up.  "What 

"We have a change of plans, I'm thinking."  Jennifer was back at Sukh's side, 
a Carouche leading one unhappy Coup. Coup was trying to nip the offending 
vampire. The vampire flashed his teeth at Coup and he settled.  Another 
Carouche had a kicking and yelling Tammy in his clutches.

Where was Michael when you needed him?  Sukh sighed as Screed approached.


There now, that should fix it so Patt's post will follow...


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- lead up to the dinner
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 21:47:18 EDT

Gotta get ready for the dinner, ladies:  Read this post.  This is where
you all are now!

And, Chris.  Thanks for bringing OD.  Since I'm the first one to have
posted lusty intentions toward TDD, I lay claim to the pleasure of
abusing our dinner guest.  


"Halt!!"  A rather authoritative female voice announced from the Green
Room door.

Five addicts, in various state of soak and stress, turned to face the
High Priestess.

"Stop this foolishness, clean up and get ready for dinner," Jules
announced.  "We have reservations at Ying's Things for 10 p.m."
The auburn-haired woman spun on her well heeled heal and strode from the

Javiette, Jill, Tranq, Talia and Ary all glared at each other.

"This isn't finished," Javiette muttered as the addicts marched out of
the room. 


"Flying is dangerous," Od muttered as he skillfully landed in the park
area on Queen Street near the Jeweled Peach.  "Much safer to ride

"True, but this was much faster," Chris noted, jumping out of the
chopper.  She looked down, startled, as her beeper went off.  She checked
the number and grinned.

"Just in time for dinner," Chris grinned at her dark-haired companion. 
"Let's go get dressed."

"I'm not going in *there*," Od stated flatly.  He looked around quickly
and spotted a hotel down the street.  "I'll get a room, change and meet
you at your haven in one hour.  That will give you sufficient time?"

"Yes, my love," Chris smiled sweetly, gently touching the TDD's face. 
"This is probably a good idea, because I'm not crazy about sharing you
with these over-lustful ladies."

"None of them can match you in lustiness," Od smiled.  Then his face went
to mock sternness.  "One hour.  Be prompt."

"Yes, my sheik," Chris smirked, then dashed down the street to the


Jennifer, Sukh and Tammy stood staring at the carouche-types blocking
their path.  

"I have a *really* bad feeling about this," Tammy said quietly.

"No, kidding," Sukh added.  From her chariot perch, she looked up at
Jennifer, regally astride the very tall Coup.  "Can you jump that,

One of the animal-nipping vampires caught hold of the bridle of one of
the Friesan's.  

"Let go of that horse!" Jen cried out indignantly, as Sukh struck at the
vampire with her whip.  

"Ya an wha' girlie group gonna make me?" the carouche snarled.  As Sukh
struck out with the whip again, another of the sub-vamps grabbed for the
crop, pulling the leather from the addict's hand.

"'Ere, now, we ain't 'ere for this type of no-sense," Screen announced,
coming forward and alternately slapping the two carouches' heads.  "We
'ave orders from 'is monkiness to deliver these lovlies to "is Shriners

The sub-vamps reached for the addicts, intent on grabbing one arm each.
The addicts had other idea.  Jennifer firmly planted a boot in the nose
of one of her would-be assailants and gave him a hard push.  The only
female carouche present grabbed for Tammy, causing the tall addict to
shriek, make a *V* with her fingers and poke at the eyes of the vamp. 
Sukh dove out of the chariot, determined to retrieve her property.  The
vamp laughed and dodged the woman's attempt to catch hold of the whip,
then scooted behind her and snapped the crop against Sukh's neck, pinning
her to his chest.

"Sop it now!" Screed cried out, obviously worried that he was losing
control of the situation.  "If we mess this'n up, the Monkey 'ill 'ave
our 'eads fer sure."

"The carouche is right," the velvet voice of LaCroix broke up the brawl. 
"I need all of you ladies back to the Shrine to get dressed, immediately.
 Now, cooperate with these . . . creatures."

"I'm not leaving my horse," Jennifer announced adamantly.

"And, I'm not asking you to, little one," LaCroix smiled. With a raising
of his hand, the General instructed the carouches to various angles
around the chariot and the thoroughbred then, in unison, the vamps lifted
into the air, their precious cargos suspended between them.

"OH!" Jennifer cried out as the airborne Coup whinnied in excitement. 
"Just like Pegasus!!"

"Why not?"  LaCroix smiled from where he flew beside her.  "After all,
Pegasus *was* born from Medusa's blood."


From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:42:31 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Jenneifer,Coup
To: nunkies@world.std.com

This is my last post.  A T-storm is coming in.  Been fun, everyone.

     Jen sighed as she wiped the last of the grime from her.  It had been a 
long weekend.  Upon her return to the Shrine, she had put Coup up in the 
Sacred Stables with Uncle's permission.

     Now, she smiled as she drew one of her favorite dresses out from her 
bag.  She was glad it hadn't wrinkled.  The dress consisted of a straight, 
ankle lenght skirt without a slit.  A dark red velvet flower-vine was 
stylized on the black fabric.  The top was in two pieces.  The first was a 
silky burgundy tank top.  Then, Jen covered it in a black, short-sleeved 
wrap.  The long ties trailed down from her waist to her knees.

     She put on some of her favorite jewelry: a claddaugh ring on her right 
hand with the heart pointing inward, black teardrop earrings edged in silver, 
a delicate silver tennis bracelet, and an obsidian pendant of a unicorn on a 
short silver chain.

     Then, it was time to put on make-up and curl her dark hair.  She applied 
the pale base and light blush, and then carefully put on the gray eyeshadow, 
light mascara, and dark lipstick.  Afterwards, she curled her hair under, and 
put on a little vanilla perfume.

     She checked herself in the mirror.  All was perfect.  She walked out of 
her newly assigned chamber to meet Sukh and Tammy.

That's it for me.  Night.

From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:56:27 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Sukh&Jennifer
To: nunkies@world.std.com

"Man, I smell like horse." Sukh wrinkled her nose as she walked through the 

Various Addicts scuttled around.  A water balloon sailed toward her form out 
of nowhere. "Crap!"  She ducked and ran for her room. She slammed the door 
and tried not to laugh.


Sukh looked around to find Angel in a dark corner.  She was going to be in 
deep dodo if Nunkies found out Angel was in her room.  "You can't be here," 
she hissed at him.

"I have something for you.  LaCroix said I could come in."  

"Right."  Sukh held out her hand.  He placed heavy box in her hand. She 
gasped and grabbed at it with both hands as it started to fall.  Angel got it 
and set it on her bed.  

"I do appreciate you doing this, but it is time for you to return to your 
reality."  Nunkies voice startled Sukh as she whirled to face the door. 
Nunkies walked in and opened the lid, then tipped the box to spill over her 
velvet coverlet.  Gold peaches spilled out, tiny charms for the addicts' 

"Do you approve?"  He asked as he held one up.


"Then get ready for dinner, and you will have one."  He gathered the charms up 
and left.  

Thirty minutes later she was dressed in her best Janette dress and finishing 
up her eye makeup as a knock sounded on her door.  She opened the door to 
find Jennifer, looking very spiffy, smiling at her.

"Come on in. " She picked up her UF choker that she had been gifted with as 
the past leader of the UFfers in a WAR and had Jennifer help fasten it.  "I'm 
ready. Let's go find Tammy."


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Patt -- A whole lot of addicts
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 23:33:31 EDT

"I don't wanna," Patt's cry sounded quite plaintive as it pierced the
mostly empty Shrine of Nunkies.

"You will," Jules instructed.  "And we'll hear no more of your foolish
complaining.  I have just broken up a brawl in the Green Room, and I don't
need this fight with you.  If you want to represent this organization,
you *will* dress properly."

"I don't wanna *dress* at all," the Third Cousin continued to protest. 
"The closest thing to a dress I wear is my maroon toga, and that's only
when Nunkies is expected to stop by.  If you think you're gonna make me
wear evening wear for the other addicts, you're nuts."

"You *will* wear a dress . . . and stockings . . . and heels . . . and


"I knew you were the master of fiendish torture methods, but I had no
idea you could be so cruel!" Patt wailed.  

Jules was busy raiding the Sacred Wardrobe Closet, tossing garments right
and left.  "No, no, no -- not the right look."

"My *right* look is jeans and a tee-shirt--preferably black to help mask
my bulk," Patt offered.  

"Pooh," Jules replied.  She lifted a shimmery gray sheath from the rack
and eyed it critically.  "We really need to have a garage sale," she
mewled.  "This has been here since the 60's."

"Were we here in the 60's?" Patt asked innocently, fingering a turquoise
sequined gown before she realized it was the HP's.

"Perhaps not us and not here," Jules replied, "but, as you are well aware
of, the sisters of Felidia have been in existence for ages."

"You gonna tell me *the* bedtime story again?" Patt asked with the eager
voice of a child.  

"NO, I'm not." Jules snarled.  "Now, get to work and find a dress."

A short time later, the HP *ahh-haaed* in triumph and produced a stunning
copen blue silk with Celtic motif stitching around the neck and cuffs. 
Patt had to admit, if forced to wear a dress, this was quite an outfit. 
Not quite as unwillingly as Jules had expected the Third Cousin to be,
Patt took the dress and headed for her private bedchamber.

As it turned out, the mature one cleaned up quite nicely and met Jules
at the stair landing with her hair properly coiffed and her makeup applied
pretty well for one with little practice.  Jules, clad in black and
slinky, nodded in approval.  

"Let's go," Jules said.  "We want to be at the restaurant early, so that
we can make sure that everything is perfect."

The two women exited the building via the alley entrance, just as Christy
and Glennis were entering via the kitchen/delivery door.


Ying's Things was a tastefully decorated Chinese restaurant with all the
trimmings.  Paper lanterns, aglow with warm light, hung from the
ceiling.  Ink sketches of landscapes, flowers and animals were hung along
the walls.  The ruby carpet was plush and the black enamel tables gleamed
brilliantly.  Several carved beasts, including elephants, tigers, and a
stork, held positions in the corners, mute observers to the activity

"This is exceptionally nice," Patt admitted as she followed Jules through
the restaurant to the private dining room which had been prepared for the
addicts.   She sniffed the air hungrily as they passed the buffet-serving
area.  "Oh, I just hope it tastes as good as it smells."

"We're not buffet-ing tonight, Patt.  We're being catered." Jules took
hold of the mature addict's arm in an attempt to prevent any possible
straying.  "Come along."

The table setting was lovely beyond words--tiny wooden pagodas nestled
among white lilies and fresia.  At the center was a life-size ice
sculpture of a Roman Soldier of regally erect stature.

"Oh, very, very nice," Patt grinned, scarfing a cherry tomato from the
hors d'oeuvres tray.  

"Yes, quite," Jules said dreamily, running a finger along the *General's*
thigh.  "And, just about the right temperature."

From the doorway, Arymede giggled.  Jules turned and regarded the five
addicts, now scrubbed and dressed in appropriate finery.  "Sit down,
ladies.  Have a carrot and some sake."

"The least they could have done was have ole ice-man in a toga," Javiette
grumbled as she sat down directly in front of the sculpture.

"That would have been nice," Tranq agreed, positioning herself opposite
the Vaquera.  "But, maybe, they thought such a distraction would impede
the supper."

"Hmmmm, they might just have been right," Talia noted, seating herself
beside Tranq.  She smiled down the table at Ary, who was alternately
giggling and staring with awe at the ice.

"I still prefer chocolate," Jill noted, sitting down beside Javiette. 

"Who doesn't?" Glennis grinned, entering the room with her usual
flourish.  Christy followed, but when she sighted the ice sculpture she
stopped short and gulped.  Glennis turned back to the new addict and
picked at her arm gingerly.  "This is nothing, kiddo.  Wait until we get
back to the Shrine, and I show you the HP's windchime collection."

The addicts chatted among themselves, picking at the snack tray and
sipping rice wine from tiny cups.  

"We're not late, are we?" Tammy burst into the room with the widest grin
an addict could have.  "We did hurry."

"I could have stayed up there all night," Jennifer's grin was just as
wide and matched Jules in dreaminess.  "It was absolutely divine.  The
only thing which could have made it better was if Nunkies had been in the
saddle behind me."

"Or in the chariot," Sukh mused.  "Talk about a meltdown moment-- Nunkies
at the reins, with a strong arm encircling you waist."

The three new arrivals sighed and plopped into their chairs.

"Hi, all."  Pristine walked into the room, smiling politely. 

"Who's that?" Jules leaned across the table, giving Patt a questioning

"Addict Pristine," Patt replied.  "She's the one who was hunting the

"Oh," Jules leaned back, a worried expression on her face.

"Ohhhhh," Pristine murmured as she passed the snack tray.  "Dumplings--
my favorite."

It was now ten p.m.  Jules glanced at her diamond watch, then at the
kimono-clad woman who stood politely by the entrance.  Jules nodded and
dinner began.

They made it through the ginger salad and soups without an incident worse
than Patt dropping her ceramic ladle-spoon.  The Third Cousin had giggled
nervously, then quietly accepted another from the ever-attentive hostess.

The entrees were varied, each served in pewter-covered chafing dishes so
that they could be shared among the addicts.  Feng Kuo, Cha Chiang Mein,
Mee Feng Jou--the list of flavorful offerings was endless.

"What do you call this stuff again?" Patt asked between mouthfuls of
steak and blanched tomato.  

"Ching-Chiao-Chao Niu-Jou," Jules repeated for the fourth time.

"Sounds like a Star Wars character," Patt grinned, slurping an errant
bean sprout through her lips.  Jules gave the Third Cousin a testy look,
causing Patt to offer Jules a silly grin.  "You can take the girl out of
the country, but . . ."

"Evening to all!" Chris glided into the room, her dark satin dress making
soft, swishing sounds as she walked.   "Sorry I'm late.  I got . . . "
she turned and smiled at her now appearing companion, ". . . distracted."

"Hmmmm," Jules looked at the dark-haired stranger in interest.  "I wasn't
aware we'd given permission to bring *dates*, Addict Chris."

"Well, if we didn't, we should have," Chris replied, smiling up at TDD as
he pushed her chair in for her.  "They're very nice to have around."  She
looked pointedly at the Priestess.  "You might like to try it--sure beats
waiting around, hoping Nunkies will drop by."

"Yeowch," Glennis whispered to Ary.  "Low blow."

Jules quickly squelched the reddening of her face and addressed Chris
with mock sweetness.  "Ahh, dear, but *dating* interferes with other
Addict activities.  If you have too much time on your hands, perhaps we
should assign you more grout duty, hmmmm?"

"I don't think Nunkies would particularly care for that," Chris replied
smugly.  "He's informed me that he's very happy with me just as I am."

"I'm sure . . . NOT THERE!" the High Priestess said sharply, causing Od
to stop short of sitting down in the only chair now available--the
opposite head of the table from Jules.  The HP smiled at the man, who she
had to admit was rather handsome, and said more quietly, "that's
reserved.  We're expecting a *special* guest.  Sorry . . . you weren't

"No problem," TDD smiled back.  "I'll just eat in the main dining room."

"Excellent decision," Jules called after the vanishing Arabian, and
before Chris could protest.  "Charge your supper to the Shrine."

"Score one for the HP," Sukh murmured to Jennifer.  

"Now," Jules said, picking up her wine glass.  "I would like to propose a
toast.  To our master, our addiction--to Nunkies."  Over the glass, Jules
stared at Chris, challenging her.  Chris glared back, but said nothing.

"And, I'd like to add a toast," Glennis stood up, wriggling to adjust her
clingy dress.  She held her Sake cup aloft.  "To Annie, the NunkMommy. 
May she return in triumph!"

"Here, here," several addicts cheered and sipped at their drinks.

"When is Annie due to arrive?" Patt said through a mouthful of
vegetables. A veggie dropped from her lips, causing the Third Cousin to
moan in dismay.  "I love that miniature corn."  

Using her chop sticks, which she usually did deftly, Patt tried to skewer
the corn, but ended up flipping it upward.  The tiny yellow veggie made a
graceful arc over Christy's head, flew down the side of the table and
landed with a *plop* in Javiette's tea glass.  Drops of tea spewed from
the over-filled container, soaking a large section of Javiette's dress.

The Vaquera stood up, glaring across Christy's head at the Third Cousin. 
"You again," she snarled.

"Hey, you chose to join *my* club," Patt retorted.  "What did you

"Sit down, Rae," Jules ordered politely.  "In this case, I really think
it was an accident.  Apologize, Patt, and try to be more careful."

Across the table, Tranq and Talia had been watching the interplay among
Patt and Javiette.  The two women nodded at each other and, with matching
sneaky grins, flung twin pea pods in Rae's direction.  One of the pods
landed in the lap of the intended target.  The other landed and stuck to
Jill's forehead.

"Oooppps," Tranq and Talia giggled guiltily.


Well, this is taking longer to write than expected.  And, why should I
have all the fun.  You can all write and post some *food fight* scenes if
you'd like.  I'll wrap things up when I get home from work tomorrow

The fun continues for one more day.  Don't ya just love long weekends? 

Take care and goodnight.



Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 15:23:10 -0500
From: Nightstalker 
To: nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums

Sorry, Patt, I'm not much for food fights.

	Chris looked up halfway through dinner and stared at Jules in
astonishment.  "Oh my gosh . . ."  She noticed Jules looking back at her
with a mixture of puzzlement and anger.  "Madame Jules, may I be
excused?  I'm feeling rather poorly."  Indeed, her normally pale skin
was almost deadly pale and her eyes had lost some of their glitter.

	"Very well."  Jules dismissed her with a wave of the hand.

	Chris stood and made her way out of the dining room, heading for the
ladies room.  She stepped carefully down the hallway leading to the
restrooms and had almost reached her destination when a dark shape with
glowing red eyes jumped her.

	The Addicts could hear the scream plainly as if it were in their ears. 
Jules and Patt jumped up from the table as Jules motioned for the other
Addicts to stay put.  Another sharp cry split the air.  "ELMORE!"

	Jules and Patt rushed down the hall to see the dark shape about to

	"NO!" called Patt sharply.  "Bad Spark!  I told you, no biting

	Spark halted in mid-bite.  "But I'm hungry!"

	"No.  What are you doing out of your room, anyway?"

	"I was hungry."

	"Well, get back there!"  Patt glared at Spark as he slunk off.  "You
okay?" she asked of Chris.

	"Yeah.  He didn't bite me.  I thought he was supposed to be on a
leash."  She wasn't angry, just feeling a little ill.

	"Must've slipped his tether."

	Chris looked up at Jules.  "I'm sorry I acted so.  I seem to have
caught a touch of the smugness virus.  It pops up at the most
inopportune times.  Nunkies sent me to stay with Od to prevent yet
another mental breakdown.  I think he sent Monica to D.C. for the very
same thing with Walter.  He's the one who told me to bring Od with.  I
think I'm just going to stop at the Shrine for a bit.  See if a nap will

	Jules was about to remark on this when spluts were heard in the
direction of their dining room.  "Do you hear what I hear?" she asked

	"Sounds like spluts."  Patt and Jules traded glances.  "Food Fight,"
they said in unison.  They headed back to their dining room at full
speed as Od gently guided Chris to the door and to the waiting car.




From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 15:44:21 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Jennifer and a little food
To: nunkies@world.std.com

<< You can all write and post some *food fight* scenes if
you'd like...
The fun continues for one more day.  Don't ya just love long weekends? >>

What? One more day?  And food fights?  Hah hah hah hah hah hah!!!!  Here 
goes.  Look out, everyone!!!


     Jennifer glanced at Sukh and asked, "Does this always happen?  I haven't 
read enough of the fic to know."

     Sukh grinned.  "You did join Nunkies Anonymous for fun, didn't you?"

     "Well, now that you mention it, I *do* remember reading some chaos in 
one of the wars..."  Jennifer surreptitiously loaded some soft veggies onto 
her spoon, held it so it made a catapult, then took careful aim and... WHAM!!!

     "Sorry!!!" she called to the newbies at the other end.  "Nothing 
personal!"  Then, she ducked as miniature corn came flying her way.  It 
landed in Sukh's lap.

     "Oh, you just wait..." Sukh muttered, grinning mischievously at the 
other addicts.

     Meanwhile, Jen had snuck under the table with her spoon in one hand and 
a small plastic bag in the other.  She was gathering the pieces of ammo that 
had landed on the ground relatively intact.  No one was going to 
out-food-fight her.

     " 'ello, love."

     Jen looked up, startled.  "Spike," she hissed, "you're not supposed to 
be here.  If Nunkies finds out-"

     "Oh, Nunkies this, Nunkies that.  I just dropped in to give you a little 
advice, me being an expert on behaving badly and all."

     Jen eyed the blond vampire suspiciously.  "What kind of advice?"

     "They do call you Dru for a reason, don't they love?"

     Jen grinned.  "Yah, they do."

     "Then show 'em why, dearheart.  Tah tah, now."

     Spike disappeared, and Jen laughed softly to herself.  "Time for some 
daisies."  She pulled the artificial flowers from her purse by the leg of her 
chair, and quickly clipped them into her hair.

     "Where have you been?" Sukh asked her when she resurfaced.

     "Making plans," Jen said.  Sukh wasn't sure if she liked the odd gleam 
in Jennifer's eyes.

     "Jennifer, what are you-"  Too late.  Jen had already sent a massive 
load of fake flowers and real vegetables that had seen better days before the 
foodfight at Patt.  Then, in quick succession, she launched more of the 
mixture towards Tranq and Talia.

     "Every woman for herself!!!" she cried.

     "Jennifer!" Sukh exclaimed.  Jen turned to her and grinned.

     "Just call me Drusilla."  Then, she focused on the mayhem again, 
choosing her next target carefully, and yelled across the din, "Do you like 

Hey, I told you to look out.  Don't take anything personally.  I'm just 
letting my Dru-ish tendencies out.

Jennifer, aka Drusilla
Nunkies Addict, Un Chevalier de la Nuit
"Do you like daisies?  I plant them, but they always die.  Everything I put 
in the ground withers and dies."---Drusilla, BTVS, "School Hard"
"Sorry, I was in the moment." Drusilla, BTVS, "Becoming 2"


Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 15:58:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: Arymede 
Subject: NA: Doldrums - Ary's revenge
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Ary was off in her own little world again. As the NAs
would soon discover, she did this quite often. But
when something wet plopped into her lap, she shook
herself out of it and looked down.

Food? Who threw *food* at me? A glance at the table
proved that question unanswerable. But it had taken a
lot of kicking and screaming to force her into this
dress, and danged if she was happy with it being

She grabbed a napkin and tied back her long, still
damp hair, and gathered up a large load of rice in
some hot sauce. Target was picked at random, aim
locked, and the food ended up full in the face of one Javiette...


From: "Nite Flyer" 
Subject: NA: Doldrums-Saving Dumplings
Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 19:37:06 -0400

The new NA member with the dark brown eyes and raven's hair sat with her
head down nearly being hit with a giant flying bowl of rice. What did they
care if she found the drill and after all she liked dumplings. Pristine,
after all knew the real reason she was here and who her dedication was to.
What was a bit of rice on her new lace black dress any way as long as she
could serve Nunkies. Being new here was no picnic........at least not until
now.....hee hee revenge is sweet! Almost as sweet as .......Chocolate
Mousse!!!!! Splat! Splash! Fling!.........................Niteflyer


From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 20:07:36 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Christy looked around her at the unfolding scene of chaos and mayhem.  She 
desperately wanted to join in the fun, but was horribly worried about her 
lovely green silk dress.  After all, it *was* a gift from Nunkies.  Looking 
around hurriedly, she spotted a side table...empty all but for a vinyl 
tablecloth!  The lightbulb went on, and she dashed over to the table, 
snatched up the tablecloth and wrapped it around her precious dress 
toga-style.  All right!  A toga...a food fight in progress...and all after 
surviving a really great scavenger hunt with no bodily harm and no criminal 
record!  She felt her eyes begin to tear up.  Now she really felt like a true 
addict.  She sniffed and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye then chucked 
the sentiment and joined in the fracas with a good ol' Rebel Yell.

"Yeee--haaa!" she hollered, scooping up a handful of Shrimp Lo Mein and 
tossing it indiscriminantly toward the other end of the table.  Going for 
another dish, she yelled,  "Woo Hoo Gai Pan, anybody?"  

She was having so much fun that she hardly noticed the chocolate mousse that 
flew past her head.  She did take notice, however, when the Kung Pao Pork 
landed in her hair.  Grabbing a towel, she wiped the hot sauce from her head 
before it could get into her eyes.  When she flipped her head back up, it was 
right in the line of fire of yet another barrage of mousse.  Wiping the gooey 
mess off of her face, she stuck a finger in her mouth.  Hmmm...not bad.  She 
went in search of an untouched dish of chocolate mousse.  Let the others 
fight for a while longer if they wanted.  Chocolate was not to be wasted!


To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight #1
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 21:20:30 EDT

Sorry to everyone who came in late and wanted to join in.  We're really
trying to wind this down, so I'm only writing in those already
participating and a person who contacted me last night, before I started
the food fight stuff.  Thanks for your understand, and we'll meet again
in the future.  ~~ Patt


"I'm really uncomfortable here, Jules," Patt commented as a partial plate
of prawn chow mein sailed by.

"I'm not very happy about the situation either," the auburn-haired HP
ducked to avoid a non-transparent spoonful of stir-fried beef with
transparent noodles.

"No . . . I mean that I'm *really* uncomfortable," Patt pulled at her
high collared dress and frowned.  "Least you could have done was let me
wear food-fighting attire.  But, noooooo, I had to dress up to be doused
with ginger dressing."

"This is all your fault!" Jules glared at the mature one.  "And, to think
I defended your initial attack as an accident." 

"The corn was an accident," Patt glared back.  "But, don't tempt me or
the next veggie won't be."







For some reason, a soy-soaked celery earring appeared to offend the HP's
strict sense of fashion.  She picked the soggy succulent from her lobe
and stared at it in disbelief.

"Someone," Jules said softly as she surveyed the room, "is going to die."

Patt decided standing next to the HP was no longer a safe option.  While
looking for a safer hideout (should have taken Spark back to his lair
personally), she noticed something alarming and instinctively lunged

"Hold it, Pris!  We don't *throw* chocolate!!"  Patt reached for the
large bowl of Mousse, determined to save it.  As she did, two skinny arms
reached up from under the ebony table and snatched the platter from
Pristine's hands.  Just as quickly, the Mousse disappeared, only to be
replaced by familiar, giddy laughter.

But, Patt had no time to confirm her suspicions as a loud "incoming" rang
through the room.

Javiette, side dish in hand, was stalking Arymede.  The Vaquera had a
very  determined gleam in her eyes which caused the Sherwood Nunksister
to scrabble backwards in alarm.  Seeing their comrade in obvious peril,
Talia and Tranq decided intervention was called for.  While Talia pelted
an advancing Rae with Ramen, Tranq grabbed a bottle of seltzer from the
arms of a passing barman.

"Waves away!!!" Tranq cried, letting the water gush forth at full
Javiette sputtered and swiped at the liquid splashing her face.  "Jill!"
the Vaquera shouted.  "I need *fire* power!!!"

"And you shall have it, my leather-clad amigo," Jill cried.  The ShyOne
boldly reached to the middle of the table, grabbing the condiment tray. 
She quickly bucket-brigaded a selection of offerings to Rae--including
hot mustard, Szechuan sauce, and a bowl of those tiny little red peppers
which, if you bite down on them, really *do* make your eyes glow.

Meanwhile, down at the other end of the table . . .

"Remind me again that I joined NA for the fun," Jennifer looked
mournfully at her daisies.  They were blotched and sticky with red goo--
more sour than sweet.

"Come on, addict, where's your spirit?  Not gonna let a little moo goo
poo poo on your parade," Sukh chided the other woman, though she didn't
move from behind the chair back she was using for cover.  "Where's that
old Drusilla charm you were chattering about?"

Jennifer blinked blankly.  "Drusilla?  Charm?  Same sentence?  Dead
kittens and wilted roses, but never charm."

"She spiked charm . . . or is it the other way around?" Sukh said
thoughtfully.  "Heck, I've been editing too long.  All the lines are
running together.  I need nourishment."  

From out of nowhere, a skinny arm appeared from the other side of the
chair, offering the addict a steaming cup of hot tea.

"Thanks," Sukh called to the disappearing hand.  She started to take a
sip of the tea, then paused.  "This has an odd smell . . ."

Jennifer toward the other addict, pulling her own chair/shield with her. 
She sniffed the fluid and frowned.  "Smells kind of . . . cheesy."

"This whole scene of us cowering like Knighties is cheesy -- not becoming
of Patt at all," Sukh said, downing her now sweetly fragrant tea.  "Come
on Elmore, you can do better than this."  Sukh stood up, impervious to
all flying objects.  "U F-ish Power!  Pillows away!!"

Well, spring rolls and dumplings, anyway.


Don't worry.  More to come.



Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 22:23:44 EDT
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight #2

Christy's pillow, however, wasn't as . . . firm.

As the toga-clad addict sat happily licking her chocolate bowl, an
unexpected elbow struck her on the back of the neck, pushing her face
into the pudding.

"Nice mask," Pristine noted as Christy lifted her head.  Then, the Drill-
toting Addict's face broke into a fiendish grin.  "You know what you need
for a *black* eye, Christy?  A steak."

Before Christy could react, Pristine lodged a large portion of Pepper
Steak against the coated addict's brow.  Christy spluttered against the
meat, inhaling a good portion of the cracked spices as she did.  Her nose
began to twitch.

"AHHHH . . ."

The bustle of activity closest to Christy paused, several addicts turning
toward the newer member.  

"AHHHHHH . . ."

Quite a few addicts had now ceased their individual feuding and were
staring at Christy.  Sensing impending Vesuvian doom, they began moving
away from table-clothed woman.


"Hi, everybody!  I'm . . .


" . . . home."  Annie Raper looked down at the snarl of seasoning and
beef which were now embedded into her exquisite ruby gown.  The curly-
haired woman lifted her head, her pretty face distorted in disbelief.

Christy shook her head, successfully flinging chocolate and sauce from
her eyes.  She blinked and looked around the now deathly-still room. 
Following the direction all eyes were looking, Christy noted the
stately figure standing at the doorway, dripping duck sauce.

"Errrr, who's that?" Christy asked as she observed Glennis inching away.

"That," Glen smiled pityingly, "is the NunkMommy."

"We're cooked," Tammy whispered to Sukh and Jennifer as she joined her

"Like pork on a spit," Sukh nodded.  She'd been around long enough to
know that mere grout duty would not be sufficient to quell the beast now
brewing in Annie's heart.  

"She's spent a lot of time with Nunkies, right?" Tranq said softly to

"Been with him since the start, I hear," Talia replied, never taking her
eyes off Annie.  "Knows all his tricks."

"And, he's really very fond of her . . . like would kill if someone
messed with her?"  Ary offered.

Talia nodded.  "That's what I heard.  She's his main squeeze.  They even
do opera together."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh," Ary and Tranq both slunk back, putting as much distance
as possible between themselves and the NunkMommy.

Annie finally lifted her eyes from her dripping gown and stared into the
room.  She saw many unfamiliar faces, simple cordwood to feed the fire
within. She was looking for something . . . someone else.

Then she saw her.

"Patt," Annie seethed.

The mature addict looked up, startled.  "What?!!  It wasn't me!!"

"It doesn't really matter," Annie's face broke into a devilish grin as
she reached for a miraculously untouched bowl.  "You make an excellent
target-d'abuse.  Pate' away!!"

A large portion of meat strips and wine sauce flew across the room,
striking the Third Cousin's face as if it was magnetized.  Patt started
to smile, enjoying the fact that Annie was indeed home and had joined the
antics.  Then an awful aroma assaulted her nostrils and she turned to
Jules for confirmation.

"What did Annie hit me with?"

Jules inspected the pattern.  "Run Tsa Chin Kan," she announced.

"Which is?"

"Deep fried lamb kidney and livers."
 "Livers?" Patt repeated the loathsome word.  "LIVER?  She hit me with

"I take it Patt isn't fond of liver," Javiette observed with gleeful

"So it would appear," Jill agreed.  "Do you sense a resumption of Agin-

"Oui," Rae grinned.  

more to come

 To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--food fight--part 3
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 23:26:07 EDT

Jules stared in incredulity as Annie flung another dish into the
recommenced pandemonium.  

"Annie!" the HP shouted.  "What are you doing?"

"Practicing my pitch," the NunkMommy replied. 

"Think about what your doing!" Jules' voice held just a tinge of panic. 
"What would Nunkies think if he walked in right now?"

"He'd consider us idiots and leave immediately," Annie called back as she
ducked a foo young frisbee.  "So, let's hope he doesn't drop by."

"Annie!"  Jules voice was pleading.  "We have to stop this now . . .
think of the insurance premium!"

"She hit me with LIVER!"  Patt could hardly contain her rage as she
dodged nimbly through the airborne debris, intent on reaching her target.
 "I am covered with LIVER.  All the tomato sauce in the world will not
remove this smell.  LIVER."

A thin hand darted from under the table, running a finger across the
dripping hem of the passing addict.  The hand disappeared and a sucking
sound could be heard.  "Tasty," a squeaky voice said.

Javiette noted with irk Patt's maneuvering out of her range.  "She's not
getting away from me that easily.  We have a score to settle."  With a
whoop, Javiette jumped up on the table, kicking dishes as she did. 
Porcelain crashed to the floor, sending meatballs and mushrooms rolling.
"Elmore!  I want a piece of you!" Rae cried.

"Plenty to go around!" Patt yelled back, whirling to face Javiette. 
"Come and get it!"

Javiette leaped, with intentions of landing on the Third Cousin's back. 
Patt used her agility training and stepped aside, causing the Vaquera to
simply collide with Patt's hip and bounce off.  Javiette landing on her
rump, howling in protest.

"Hey Javi," a familiar masculine voice called to the floor-bound addict. 
"Are you really into this scene, or are you ready to go party?"

Rae looked up at a grinning Vachon.  For once she was glad that her face
was smeared with cherry sauce, because she was blushing like crazy.

"Red looks good on you," the Spaniard teased, holding his hand out to the
Vaquera.  "I looked ahead and Patt's finale lacked certain finesse. 
Figured she needed my help on the rewrite, so here I am.  What say you
grab your friend and we go find a private place to play?  Know of any
good hay barns?"

"JILL!" Javiette shouted, allowing Vachon to pull her to his side. 
"We're history."  She looked at Patt and smiled wickedly.  "Later."

"No problemo," Patt replied, giving the Spaniard a wink.  "Thanks for the

"Get a bigger computer," Vachon ordered, hustling a grinning Javiette and
Jill out of the room.

"Now who we gonna throw stuff at?" Talia whined as she watched the two
J's being escorted away by Vachon.  

"Each other?" Ary said, then slapped herself for the suggestion.

"No, that wouldn't be good," Tranq said.  She looked around the room and
gasped.  "Who is that addict over there?  The *clean* one?"

"That's Pristine," Talia replied.

"Not for long," Ary announced, reaching for the Moo Shu.  In unison, the
three addicts lifted their lethal lo mein and took careful aim at the
dark haired Drill-mistress.

Pristine, seventh sense finely honed, looked up in time to note that she
was quarry.  The usually cheerful addict felt her face pale.  One addict,
no problem.  Two--she could probably defeat easily.  But, three??
"Use yer noodle, L'l fly," a thick accent addressed the dark-haired
addict.  "That bit-o-rice yer wearin is okee, but ya don wanna get yer
shiney dress-up all dirty.  Come with ole Screedy."  The Carouche
grabbed Pris's hand and began dragging her from the room.

"Let me go!" Pristine cried, struggling to free herself from the Ratter's

"Pristine looks like she's in trouble," Ary, Talia and Tranq lowered
their bowls and watched the drama.  "Should we help her?"

"Help!!"  Pristine cried.

"Go help her!" Patt wrote.  "First and foremost, she's a fellow NA in
need of assistance.  You can continue your adventure elsewhere if you'd
like, or go to bed."

"Right!!" the three women agreed and ran in the direction Screed was
dragging Pristine.

"Aym not doin this fer yur body," Screed assured the scuffling woman as
he pulled her into the alley behind Ying's.  "Aye jes want yer drillsie."

"Take it!" Pristine cried, thrusting the tool at the Carouche.  

Screed licked his lips in triumph as he reached for his prize.  

But, before Screed could grasp the drill, a thin hand darted from behind
the dumpster and grabbed the implement.  

"Libs!"  Screed cried as the rest of the thin figure came into view.

"Ain't no one drillin yewrself but me," Libby announced.  She pressed the
*on* button and twirled the bit in Screed's face.  "Yew got that?"

"Yew got me," the Carouche grinned crookedly, holding both arms aloft.  

"I'm out of here," Pristine announced.  She lifted the hem of her dress
and scurried back toward Ying's backdoor.  As she reached it, three
addicts tumbled out. 

"Darn!" Pris cried.

"We're here to rescue you!" Ary, Tranq and Talia announced.

"Go home--the four of you," Patt wrote.  "The fan fic fairies are tired."


One more to come.
To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight -- part 4
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Wed, 02 Jun 1999 00:28:06 EDT

"Is this farce about finished?" Jules demanded, giving Patt a scolding

"Just about," Patt replied, her eyes never leaving Annie.  "I just need
to write a really good revenge scene."

"Save it for another time," Jules said.  "There will be plenty of
opportunities in the future for you and Annie to . . . play."

"But she threw LIVER at me," Patt protested.

"Which you've made note of repeatedly," Jules pointed out.  "And, if you
keep harping on the subject, you do understand that the fact that you
revile liver *will* be used against you in the next real WAR?"

Patt paused her forward assault on Annie and straightened, digesting
Jules' words.  She turned a pale face toward the HP and meeped "Oops."

"Yes," Jules said, arching an eyebrow at the Third Cousin.  "Time to
quiet down, wrap this puppy up and settle down.  And, speaking of
settling, I do *not* want to get stuck with the bill this time."

"Okay, okay . . . it's my fiasco, so I'll pay for it."  Patt reached for
her wallet and withdrew her Gold card.  She handed it to a shouting
gentleman, whom she assumed was Mr. Ying, and waved him away.

"You did that with panache," Jules smiled in approval.  "Now--I want to
go home."

"And, I guess you want LaCroix to escort you?"

Jules smiled sweetly.  "He'd better, or you won't be writing NA fic

"Gotcha.  But, Jules.  Do you really want LaCroix appearing at this exact

"I want him," Jules said flatly.  "Now."

Patt winced.  "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Jules' voice was as soft as a tiger's purr.  "Now."

Patt closed her eyes.

"Well, it appears that the *redecorating* has taken an interesting turn,"
the deep velvet voice was like a caress in Jules' ears.  She turned to
LaCroix, her face the epitome of cool chicness, as befit the High
Priestess of Nunkies.

Except for the smear of gravy on her left cheek.

"Green would have suited you better," LaCroix observed, reaching out to
tilt the HP's chin for better viewing.  "Have you considered spinach?"

Jules turned and looked at Patt.  "I know who will die, now."  

"Not my fault," Patt held up both hands to feign-off attack.  "You wanted

"Annie, ma cherie," LaCroix called as he noted the NunkMommy trying to
slink away.  "Your homecoming is not exactly as I had planned, but it is
good to have you back in my fold."

Annie turned.  "It is? You really missed me?"

LaCroix released Jules, walked to Annie's side and clasped her hands in
his own.  "I've watched you from afar, cherie.  Never a day went by that I
didn't desire your return."  He touched Annie's fingertips gently to his
cool lips.

Annie felt a little giddy and unable to speak.

LaCroix smiled.  "Go clean up and we'll start celebrating your

Annie gulped hard, unable to move.

LaCroix turned and tossed some keys in Jules direction.  "I'm
re-instating your Jaguar privileges, Jules.  Don't abuse them."

"That's it?" Jules was miffed and mortified, though too dignified to show
it.  "Annie gets you, and all I get is a stinkin car?"

"Would you prefer a truck?" LaCroix's words sounded threatening.  

"I'm going back to the Shrine," Jules announced, tossing the keys upward
and catching them easily.  "I need a shower."  She swept past LaCroix,
but he caught her arm as she passed.

"Scrub well, dear," he cooed.  "I'll be calling on you later."  Then he
straightened and looked at Annie.  "Run along, too, Ann.  I'll meet with
you shortly."

Jules took Annie's arm and helped her exit the room.  Once the NA
leadership was gone, LaCroix turned back to the six addicts still

"Clean up this mess," he instructed.  "We'll discuss punishment later." 
Then, with a soft whoosh, Nunkies disappeared.  

"I'm not cleaning nothin'," Patt announced, sitting down in the nearest
nearly clean chair.  "I paid good money so I wouldn't have to clean."

"What we need are some really buff bus boys," Sukh announced.  "That
would make the clean-up chores much more palatable."

"Done," Patt snapped her fingers.

Six extremely attractive, hunky waiter-types wandered into the room,
assessing the damage.  They looked around, muttered something like "could
be worse--we've catered to FoDS" and began cleaning.  One of the hunkiest
walked over to Sukh.  "You kinda messy, Missy," he remarked, starting to
dab at her with a wet cloth.  

"This will work," Sukh smiled.  "We'll catch you next story, Patt.  Come
on Jennifer, Tammy.  Let's clean up."

"You do like horses, don't you?" Jennifer asked a blonde beefcake with
shoulders as broad as Texas.

"Yes'um," the man drawled, then grinned at the woman.  "Filly's too."

"Looks like he has a *leg up*," Tammy smiled.  She turned to begin her
own chores and found herself facing the chest of a dark haired hunk. 
"You're taller than me!" she breathed, looking up into the face of

"And I can see more than your hair part," the handsome fellow smiled
back.  "You've got great eyes."

"Okay," Patt said, looking at Christy and Glennis.  "That leaves just the
three of us."

"Saved the best for last?" Glennis asked.  

"I want my camel ride," Christy whined.  "You promised me a camel ride."

"He's hitched out in the alley, if Screed didn't snack on him," Patt

Giggling with glee, Christy raced to the alley and began clapping with
delight.  Standing in front of her was a genuine Dromedary with silky
cloth saddle and bangled reins.

"Very stylish, Patt," Glennis said approvingly.  "So, how do we get up on
that thing?"

"You need the help of a hero who is familiar with camels," a deep voice
addressed the women.  Dark hair flowing, dark eyes shining, TDD stepped
from the shadows, resplendent in his flowing black robes.

"I thought you were with Chris," Christy said, as Od helped her up on the

"The young one grew ill and took to her bed," Od replied, now assisting
Glennis to her place on the mount.  He smiled brilliantly at Glen.  "The
young ones . . . they wear out so fast.  That is why LaCroix keeps
sending them to my villa to rest and recuperate, I suppose."

The camel stood and TDD took the lead rein.  Glennis looked down at Patt
and smiled.  "Thanks for sharing."

"Don't thank me too fast," Patt called as the addicts rode away with TDD
beside them on horseback.  "I kind of borrowed the camel from the zoo and
there's an APB out on him.  You might end up spending the night in jail,
you know."

Patt could not discern the women's muffled reply.  With a sigh, she re-
entered the restaurant and made a quick check of the cleaning progress. 
Things were going fine--a few more minutes and you wouldn't even be able
to tell the addicts had been there.

"Hi, Patt," a familiar voice broke into Patt's thoughts.  Standing at the
counter was Shele.

"Hey, Shele.  Didn't know you were about.  How's it going?"

"Fine.  Just finishing up some errands for Nunkies and figured I'd stop
in for some carryout.  He's got a redecorating project going, you know . . ."


End of my part in this tale.  Carry on the adventure if you wish, but
Patt is retiring.  Got too much to do the rest of this week.  

Have a good one and I enjoyed it all.  Thanks for joining in.



From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 20:51:05 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Epilogue, Part 1
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Well, Patt tied up all the loose ends except one.  When last seen Glennis and 
Christy were riding away from Ying's Things on a stolen camel led by none 
other than TDD.  You'll recall that Patt mentioned there was an APB out on 
the creature, and it hardly seems fit to let them get away with THAT, now 
does it?  


Glennis looked back at Christy.  "What was it that Patt just said?  The camel 
knows his ABC's?"

"No," said Christy, a sick look on her face.  "There's an APB out on the 
camel.  The camel's hot, Glennis."

Shaking her head and nodding in Od's direction, Glennis replied, "No, 
honey, the camel *driver* is hot."  She melted a bit as TDD flashed a 
brilliantly white smile in her direction.

"Glennis, do you realize that we are riding on a stolen critter?  Filched, 
heisted, misappropriated, pilfered, purloined, swiped, rustled.  We're in 
deep camel cookies, babe."

"You've been using that thesaurus again, haven't you?"

"Glennis!  Think with your brains instead of your glands for a few minutes 
here.  We're about to be arrested for grand theft camel!"

Glennis looked around.  "Well, I don't see any signs of hot pursuit just yet. 
 Maybe we can make it to Od's hotel."  She turned to the darkly handsome 
one.  "We *can* stop and freshen up a bit, can't we?  I feel like the floor 
of a movie theatre after a Saturday matinee."

"Of course, my little desert flower.  I shall personally see to it that you 
are made...comfortable...once again," the TDD purred, eyes smoldering.  Christy 
had to grab Glennis before she melted right out of the saddle.

Rolling her eyes, Christy turned to Mr. Looks-Great-in-a-Burnoose-but-Still-Isn't-Nunkies.  
"Look, could you lay off the sweet talk until we actually get there?  We *are* close, 
aren't we?"  She looked around furtively for police cars.

"Very close indeed.  We have arrived, my frightened dove."  Od smiled his 
most winning smile.

"Sorry, babe.  My heart belongs to Nunkies.  Save the charm for Glennis."

"It's not your heart I'm interested in," came the silken reply.  Glennis 


"A camel?  Who would steal a camel?" Nick said aloud.  "Hmph!  Probably the 
same sort of person who would break into a man's home and steal his universal 

Suddenly, his vampiric vision picked up a tall, tan, humped creature with two 
women on its back being led by what looked to be a Bedouin on horseback.  The 
woman in front turned to speak to her companion.  It was the driver of the 
truck carrying the harem pillows that he had passed on the fateful night when 
his beloved remote disappeared!  The truck!  Suddenly, he remembered where 
he'd seen the truck before.

"Elmore!" he exclaimed.  "Who else could possibly be so devious as to steal 
my remote...er, and the camel as well, of course."  Still, neither of the 
women looked like Patt Elmore.  He should know.  He'd had her behind bars 
enough to know the face.

Just then, the strange entourage turned a corner and disappeared behind a 

"Eighty-one kilo to dispatch.  I have a visual on the missing camel.  There 
are three suspects--one male, two female.  Male appears to be wearing a 
burnoose.  I'm checking it out."

"Ten-four, 81 kilo.  Do you require backup?"

"Not at this time.  Eighty-one kilo out."

Nick pulled the caddy into the parking lot and followed his unsuspecting 
suspects into the building. 

The burnoosed one handed a room key to the ex-driver of the truck.  "Room 
1228, my dear.  You and your friend go ahead.  There are two bathrooms in the 
suite.  Why don't you use the one with the large jacuzzi."  The woman's 
companion had to grab her in order to keep her erect. " I must see to the 
animals before taking my ease."  He kissed the woman's forehead (was that 
sweet and sour sauce below her left eye?) and left the building.

Nick was torn.  Should he follow the dark man and see to the safety of the 
critternapped camel or follow the women who might be able to lead him to his 
remote control?  His decision was swift.  He left the building and flew to 
the balcony of room 1228 to lie in wait for the women.  They had some 
explaining to do!


From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 00:04:45 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Epilogue, Part Two
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Nick slid the balcony door open slightly, then slipped back outside as he 
heard a fumbling at the door.

"Darned credit-card-slidey-thingee keys!" said a muffled female voice on the 
outside of the door.  "Never can get the stupid things to work."

"Give it here," said the second female voice.  "I have to be in the jacuzzi 
when you-know-who gets back!"

Nick was almost certain he heard eyes rolling.

The door opened and the two female suspects entered.  The ex-driver of the 
truck zipped in the door and made a beeline for the master bedroom.  Within 
seconds, splashing sounds could be heard on the other side of the bedroom 
door. The other female, a short redhead, entered.  Nick had never seen such a 
sight.  The silk dress was pristine--not a spot on it, but the hair looked 
like it had been moussed...with chocolate.  The woman sighed and tossed her 
purse on the couch.  This was it.  Nick was going in.

"Freeze," he said, sliding the door fully open with his foot and sticking the 
gun in the room ahead of him.  "Get your hands in the air!"

A wide-eyed redhead met his gaze.  He gestured with the gun, and two small 
hands slowly raised above her head.


"How do you know my name?" he demanded.  He searched through his flashbacks, 
but this woman was in none of them.

"We have a...mutual acquaintance."  She smiled demurely.  "Could I lower my 
hands?  I promise I'm not armed...not even with food."

"Not until you answer a few questions."

"Questions?  About what, detective?"  Christy was starting to get nervous 
now.  There was a certain camel downstairs in the parking garage being fed 
right about now.  She hoped Nick hadn't noticed him.

"Last night, someone broke into my Loft and stole something very important to 
me.  I saw your friend driving a truck past the warehouse just prior to my 
discovering that it was missing.  I also noticed a flash of red hair burying 
itself in a pile of harem pillows."

"*Overstuffed* harem pillows, Nick."

"Ah hah!  So, you *were* there!"

"Crap.  I always get *way* too talkative when I'm tired.  I'm getting too old 
for this."  Christy sighed.  "Look, Nick, I don't have the remote, okay.  
Search the room, search my stuff," she gave him a coy look, "search me, if 
you like.  I don't know where it is, and I don't care.  My arms are getting 
tired.  My hair feels like it's turning into cement, and I'm just plain 
exhausted."  She did her best to look bedraggled and pitiful--not a 
particularly remarkable feat, since everything she had said was true.

About that time, the tall, dark and studly one entered the room.  Nick 
covered him with the gun, gesturing for him to join the redhead.

"Remove the scimitar from your belt, place it on the floor, and kick it 
across the room," Nick instructed.

An alpha male staring match ensued.  Christy, totally disgusted with the 
whole macho thing now, gave them both a scathing look.

"Just do it so we can get on with this scene and get some durn closure here, 
okay?  It's getting late, and I have a RL job to go to tomorrow!" she sniped. 
 The burnoosed one did as he was bid.

"Nick, I'm putting my hands down now, and I'm going to take a bath.  Baggy 
pants here is on his way to the jacuzzi.  Glennis is bound to be pruning up 
now she's been waiting on him for so long.  You can have a seat and wait for 
me.  I promise I won't be long.  If it'll make you feel better, you can dig 
through my purse looking for your precious remote, but I promise you IT'S NOT 
THERE!"  Whirling, she stomped into the second bedroom and slammed the door 
behind her, leaving two stunned men standing in the living room.

Nick holstered the gun and gestured TDD toward the door of the master 
bedroom, where plentiful splashing sounds could still be heard.

"She has story control.  Guess you'd better hit the jacuzzi."  He raised his 
voice to be heard over the running bathwater in the next room.  "And I AM 
going to check the purse!"


From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 00:43:18 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Epilogue Part 3
To: nunkies@world.std.com

A much cleaner female suspect emerged from the suite's second bedroom, 
wrapped in one of the hotel's chenile robes and drying her now shining red 
hair.  Nick, now sitting on the couch, watched as she came out and 
reconsidered her earlier offer to allow him to search her.

"Now," said the vampire detective.  "I think we should talk."  He gestured to 
the couch cushion next to him.

"Uh-uh, Nick," she said as she sat in the chair opposite him.  "I have no 
desire to become the neck of the week."

The sound of giggling and splashing rose and fell in waves from the master 

"I think I'm going to be ill," Christy said.

"How did you know I was looking for my remote, Ms....."

"Stillman.  Christy Stillman--Nunkies Addict.  I know you're looking for your 
remote because, well, I sort of took it.  You know, if you hadn't left it 
lying around in such a obvious place, there's no way I could've found it and 
gotten out in time.  You'd have caught me red-handed."

"It's all my fault," Nick angsted.  "I should hide the remote.  People from 
other factions are always being tempted by it.  They know how much I depend 
on it, and they can't resist tormenting me by taking it.  I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Nick.  I'll forgive you this time," Christy offered generously.

"Of course, there's still the matter of the camel down in the parking garage. 
 The one I saw you and your friends with earlier.  The one that was reported 
stolen from the zoo.  An act, which I might add, would fit in with an 
addict's rather...eccentric...activities."

Crud.  He'd seen the camel.  She listened to the sound of happy splashing in 
the jacuzzi.  Glennis was her friend, and she was having such a good time.  
Christy hated the idea of getting her arrested at this point.  She sighed and 
bit the bullet.

"Those two had nothing to do with it.  I wished for a camel ride, and the 
fanfic fairies provided.  In your own words, Nick, 'It's all my fault.'"


Christy looked around the precinct as she was taken to be fingerprinted and 
have mug shots made.  At least Nick had let her fix her hair and makeup.  He 
had even mentioned how stunningly the dress brought out the green of her 
eyes.  But he had still arrested her for camelnapping.  Now, she was about to 
see a side of the station house that she would really rather have avoided.  
She was led to a cell.

Detective Nick Knight made two more arrests that evening.  One, a dangerous 
criminal, the other, a woman found carrying Nick's purloined property.  
Christy was moved to the latter's cell in order to accommodate the former.

"Well," said a pert voice as the bars slid open to admit Christy, "they seem 
to be running a special on short redheads this evening.  I don't suppose 
you're wearing non-sensible shoes, too?"


From: br1035@ix.netcom.com
Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 14:27:44 -0500 (CDT)
To: nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums...

I want to congratulate everyone who participated in the round robin! You did a 
magnificent job, and, though I was late reading the proceedings, you all had me 
ROTFLOL! When this is all well and truly wrapped up, I'd love to add the jolly 
goings-on to the Peach page, archived as our first NA fracas. Everyone really outdid 
themselves, and you should all feel proud of the extrordinary amount of talent and 
wit you shared on list!

Now, to explain my absence...

non-sensible PTB


Summer Doldrums: Slacker Scribe Sentenced

     Bonnie wriggled around in the less-than-comfy chair provided by the O.S.I.R. 
central lab, trying to achieve a more seductive pose. This is a difficult endeavor 
when one is only five feet tall, lacking in a plantation of leg surface with which to 
tease and tantalize a would-be planter. When one is five feet tall, it's a big 
accomplishment when one's feet actually reach the floor. 

     Silently cursing while she outwardly fluttered her lashes, Bonnie wished for the 
seventh time that she had access to one of the Shrine divans. Even short people can 
drape languidly over peach brocade. It had taken her *hours* to get the rest of the 
team out of the room, and Bonnie was fully determined to take advantage...

     Releasing a soft sigh, then shooting a ravenous smile at the iron-gray haired 
man across from her, the Scribe said, "I do so adore hearing you expound your 
equations, Professor Axon. I'm so happy you're interested in studying the laws of 
fanfic physics in more *intimate* detail." 

     Peter Axon frowned, as he was wont to do when confronted by anything perplexing 
or displeasing. Peter Axon could be found frowning about 75% of the time. Now, some 
would label such an effusion of discontent as reminiscent of TOG, but they wouldn't 
do it in Bonnie's hearing without wearing earplugs and body armor. 'Nuf said. 

    Peter was still frowning, but now he stood and began to pace as he thought. 
Finally, the professor paused in front of Bonnie and said, "From what you're telling 
me, fanfic fairies are neither subject to any continuity regarding time, nor space."

    Bonnie nodded up at him enthusiastically. "Nor wardrobe! Speaking of which, have 
I shown you my new non-sensible sandals?" That said, the perky redhead raised one leg 
high in the air (she'd become much more flexible since she started that cardiac 
kickboxing). Being short, of course, her foot only reached as high as his abdomen, so 
Bonnie conveniently rested the tip of her bronze-painted toenails against Axon's 
unconveniently covered washboard stomach. Bonnie smiled again, slowly this time. 
"Non-sensible shoes consistently break the laws of physics as you know them." An 
pseudo-innocent blink-blink followed. "Go ahead. You can study me more closely."

    For a moment, Axon frowned at the proffered specimen of podiatry-bills-waiting-
to-happen. Then, he remembered that he wasn't always a studious stick-in-the-mud, and 
he hadn't had anyone of legal age come on to him for at least a season and a half. 
Well, not counting that time he spent in prison... 

    The cute painted toes trailing a delicate path down his stomach were attached to 
an equally cute redhead. Peter's frown evaporated, tranforming into a Nobel Prize-
worthy smile. "You're a very interesting subject."

    Bonnie nodded knowingly. "I've consistently baffled some of the finest minds in 
Nunkies Anonymous."

    Peter's hands began tracing slowly from the redhead's foot in the direction of 
her knee. "Do you want to cut out of here? My motorcycle's parked -"

    "Where you won't be using it for several hours yet," a silky voice broke in. "You 
have too much work to do."

    "Frank!" Peter exclaimed, then dropped Bonnie's foot faster than you can say 

     Bonnie had experienced a moment of panic. After all, Frank Elsinger was a living 
ringer for Nunkies. He even had The Voice. That was enough to spawn a temporary qualm 
of guilt combined with fear. Elsinger was not, however, Nunkies. He wasn't even 
a pod person trying to impersonate Nunkies. Bonnie quickly recovered, instantly regaining her 
confidence until she noticed the mouth pinch of the-man-who-wasn't-Nunkies-or-an-alien 
when Peter called him 'Frank,' as though that name held a bitter aftertaste. Uh 
oh. That was a bad sign. This was Nunkies-impersonating-Elsinger. Bad, bad, bad.

      Bons thought, 

    "And Peter...Leave Ms. Rutledge's file with me," The Voice commanded. "I will be 
taking care of her case from here on out."

    Peter Axon appeared mulish as he tossed the said file the would-be-Elsinger's way, 
though he remained silent as he loped out of the room. 

    Bonnie, however, did not suffer in silence. "Boooooooo! I never get to have any 
fun unless it involves shoes or throwing a party for *you*!!" Peeking at LaCroix, the 
Scribe noted the fury rising in the master vampire's visage.  The Scribe scanned the room for 
any conveniently-placed columns for her to duck behind. She was out of luck.

    "*You,*" LaCroix hissed, grabbing her firmly by the upper arm (In retrospect, 
Bons would be thankful he displayed that much restraint. Dragging her by her hair 
would have been much more painful. Being slung over his shoulder, giving O.S.I.R the 
fanny salute, would have been much more embarrasing.) and marching her out of the 
room, then through Central Lab.

    "You have an incredible degree of nerve, pussyfooting around Axon instead of 
obeying my missive ordering you to the Shrine for a mission." LaCroix's expression 
was thunderous. "You missed everything! Even the 'Woo Hoo Gai Pan' Jules had made in 
your honor!"

    Bonnie was prone to bouts of giggling when she was afraid or stressed. 
"'Pussyfooting around Axon'? Please, sir...*teehee*...you're making me blush!"

    Growling ensued. Bonnie snapped out of her hysterical reverie as her mind 
centered on an important detail in LaCroix's reprimand. "Wait! Wait!" Bons flapped 
her free arm at the vampire, a perfect Charade for a Stevie Nicks song. "What 
missive? You sent me a missive? I didn't get a missive! A-ha! I'm innocent!"

    They had reached the parking lot of the O.S.I.R. establishment. LaCroix released 
Bonnie's arm and coldly eyed her up and down. "Doubtful." 

     Strangely, the coldness of LaCroix's visage melted, replaced by an amused, if 
deadly, smile. "Tell me, Bonnie. Have you checked your e-mail since last Friday?"

     The Scribe had the grace and good sense to blush penitently. "Uhm, no, sir."

     "You were too occupied pursuing other prey to go online, weren't you, my dear?" 
LaCroix continued smoothly.

     "Uhm...I guess you could put it that way..." Bonnie admitted sheepishly.

     "I did. You are fortunate that my other, more attentive, addicts are more than 
capable of handling my desires. It's just as well you weren't there. You tend to 
cause messes, I'm afraid."

     At this last bit, Bonnie found a bit of her spirit again. It was very 
unflattering of LaCroix to tell her she was unnecessary. She liked that in an evil 
man. It was shameless, absolutely shameless. There was a slight Nunklear glow as the 
Scribe smiled. "You flatterer."

     LaCroix allowed himself a short chuckle. He *loved* it when people appreciated 
his evil. Most of his anger had disappated, though he made sure to continue his 
chiding of the perky redhead with an air of stern disapproval. "You realize that I am 
very unhappy with your failure to answer my summons?"

    Bonnie nodded, displaying just the right hint of remorse. "Yes, sir."

    "And it will not happen again?"

    A slight pause. Fingers crossed behind a back. "Uh...yes, sir."

    "Well, then. I will bid you adieu. I had to take time out from welcoming Annie 
back in private to deal with you. I shall return to her side."

    Bonnie appeared confused. "You mean, I'm not getting punished?"

    LaCroix didn't answer her question. Instead, he reached into his jacket pocket 
and pulled out an oblong box wrapped in matte black paper. "I presented each of my 
loyal Addicts with a gift. I won't make you an exception."

    Bons accepted it gleefully. "Al-right! Being insubordinate rocks!" Her expression 
sobered as she peeked at her company. "Though I would completely frown upon 
participating in any insubordination in the future, of course."

    "Enjoy," LaCroix drawled, then *whooshed!* into the night sky.

    Bonnie almost bounced as she tore off the wrapping paper. LaCroix gave excellent 
gifts. Maybe it was a watch, reminding her to keep an eye on her time. Maybe it was 
plane tickets to his homeland! Maybe it was...

    Bonnie yanked open the box.

    Inside was a universal remote. A well-worn universal remote.

    "But I don't even have cable," Bonnie said, grimacing. She lifted the remote from 
its box, examining it in incomprehension. "There must be some mistake."

    There was the sound of a car entering the parking lot. It braked in front of the 
Scribe, rudely shining its headlights on her full-force so that she had to raise both 
hands and the remote to shield her eyes from the glare. There was the sound of a car 
door opening.

    "Hey! Do you mind?" Bons complained.

    Suddenly, Bonnie was grabbed from behind and pushed up against the car. Removed 
from the light, she gazed in dismay as her eyes refocused. She was leaning against a 
metallic green Cadillac. The universal remote was snatched from her grip. Bonnie 

    "I don't mind arresting you for breaking and entering, as well as possession of 
stolen property," TOG announced from behind her.

    Bonnie's expression became rueful as her wrists were cuffed behind her back. 
"Silly me, thinking I could committ a transgression and escape any punishment."

    "And you'll have plenty of time to contemplate the error of your ways in lockup," 
Nick said smugly.

     "Lemme guess," Bonnie muttered. "You got an anonymous tip about the location of 
your stolen remote."

     "I guess there's no honor among Addicts."

     "Yeah." Bonnie grinned. "Isn't it great?!?!"


Okay, that's my contribution to the masterpiece! :D

From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 22:27:10 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Heading Home---Jen's part
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Well, since Nick seems to be chasing a camel at the moment, and I need him in 
my story but won't have another opportunity to write for a few days, we'll 
assume that my little homecoming takes place after Christy's epilogue.  Also, 
I guess we'll assume this happened after LaCroix spent his quality time with 
the Nunkmommy.  He will be returned to her after a brief put down of myself.


     Jennifer was exhausted.  She'd been spending a good deal of time in her 
room, wiping food and flower remains from her body and clothes.  She'd 
hand-washed her garments, and then stuffed them in a plastic back for the 
ride home.  They could be re-washed and dried later.  Now, she was back to 
her horsey self in clean navy breeches and a fitted burgundy tank top.  She 
wore tennis shoes for the moment.  He riding shoes were at the Stables with 
the rest of her less than pristine gear.

     She sighed deeply.  She'd narrowly escaped punishment on Shrine grounds. 
 After several minutes of pleading with LaCroix that she *had* to get back 
home to help with the garage sale and the packing before her family moved, 
she had finally earned a temporary pardon from the General.

     "Remember, Jennifer.  This pardon is *temporary*.  You *will* serve your 
sentence in due course," he admonished her as they stood on a Toronto street.

     "Yes, sir," she said, eyes downcast.

     "Perhaps I should lock you in a room to listen to recordings of 
Nicholas', what do you American's call them these days?  Ah yes, 
'guilt-trips' for an entire twenty-four hours."

     Jennifer's face fell.  She didn't mind Nick, even liked him most of the 
time, but an entire day of him angsting!!!  That was a fate worse than 

     She pulled herself together in time to hear LaCroix tell her to think on 
it before disappearing.

     "Why do I always fall for the disappearing act guys?" she muttered to 

     "Because you like us," a faint Scottish brogue said.

     Jen spun around and looked up.  "Duncan!  What are you *doing here*?!"

     "I jus' came to see how you were doin'.  I heard you took a trip up 
here, an' I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by an' see what 
you were up to.  Who was tha' man?"

     "That was Nu- ahem, the General."

     "The General?" the highlander asked, raising a brow.

     "So you don't get all the good women," a new Scottish voice chimed in.

     "Conner!!!  What the-" (see what happens when all of your not-so-real 
objects of affection take residence in your brain and control of your 

     "Same reason as Duncan," the other Immortal said briefly.

     "Uh huh.  Sure."  Jennifer looked to the sky and muttered under her 
breath, "Why do I always pick up the interesting ones?  Just *once* I'd like 
a nor-"  She quickly shut her mouth before yet another member of the opposite 
sex could burst in on the scene.

     "Walk you home?" both highlanders asked at once, then glared at each 
other when they realized what they had done.

     "Oh no you don't," when Jen saw the look in their eyes.  There would be 
no more fighting in her current storyline.  "And no you can't," she went on.

     "Why not?" they asked at once.  Again, they glared.

     "Because it's my secret, that's why.  Ah ah ah!" she said as they 
started to protest.  "No more!  I'm leaving, and that's that.  Now I want you 
two to go back to your own realities and stay there!"

     Thankfully, Jen hadn't had to deal with any opposition when she'd sent 
the blond bus boy home.  He was handsome, and he was interested in horses, 
but not her type.  They exchanged e-mails and promised to keep in touch... as 

     So now, here she was, just finished packing her gear and ready to go 
home.  She was on her way out the door of the Shrine, having said farewell to 
everyone already, when she slapped her forehead.

     "Crud!" she cried.  "I can't *believe* it!  I am so *stupid*!" she 
ranted as she realized that she hadn't done what she'd told her family and 
friends she intended to accomplish in Toronto.  Had she admitted to going to 
the Shrine, they would have locked her up in a padded room.  No, she'd told 
them she was there for a book signing and horse clinic that just *happened* 
to be in Toronto during the time frame of Uncle's "project."  She'd taken 
care of the horse clinic bit, having seen the professional trainer and worked 
out a cover story with her.  She'd managed to bribe her with video tapes of 
some very promising young horses from Oklahoma who were then for sale.  The 
book signing, however, was that night and ending *very* soon.  She couldn't 
get there on foot, and certainly couldn't take Coup.  She didn't have the 
money to spare for public transportation, either.

     Jen slung her backpack over her shoulders and rushed out of the Shrine.  
She'd find some way to get there.  Just as she was beginning to cross an 
almost empty street, a classic Caddy, top down, came roaring towards her.  
Her eyes grew wide as she froze.  The driver swerved and squealed to a halt.  
Jen stood there, staring at the teal green vehicle and gasping for her breath.

     The driver rushed out of the car and reached her in record time.

     "Are you all right?" he asked anxiously.  When Jen didn't answer the 
pale-skinned, blue-eyed, blond-haired man, he placed a hand on her shoulder 
and gave her a light shake.  That did the trick.

     "What the **** were you thinking?!  You could have killed me!  I can't 
*believe* you people!  Don't you *ever* pay *any* attention to *anything* 
that's going on around you?!"

     Nick gaped at her, then stumbled to appease the distraught girl.  "I- 
I'm really sorry, I didn't mean-"

     "Oh, yah, I *know* you didn't *mean* to!  I have your number, mister-"

     "Knight, Detective Knight.  I really *am* sorry about this whole-"

     Jen held up her hand before he could launch into a true angst-fest.  "I 
*don't* want to hear it."

     Nick stared at her, speechless.  Before he could say or do anything 
else, Jennifer leapt into his caddy, started it up, and drove away.  She 
screamed back at him, "You should be more careful about when you have those 

     Nick's jaw dropped even further, if at all possible.  She hadn't!  She 
couldn't!  But she had, and apparently since she had, she could, and oh his 
poor Caddy!!! (And oh the poor writer and readers.  This is making me 
dizzy---Jennifer)  Nick slapped himself, but it didn't work.  He was 
paralyzed with dismay.  His precious Caddy, gone the way of his universal 
remote!  But that hadn't been Patt or one of her cohorts.

     Suddenly, Nick's brain kicked back into gear.  Something he'd seen on 
her shirt...  Wait a minute!!!  It had been a button, and not just any 
button, a Nunkies Annonymous button!!!

     "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he cried out, 
rivaling even Luke Skywalker's famous cry from .  
Well, this time, he wasn't letting her get away.  Oh no, it wasn't enough 
that his father bothered him.  LaCroix had to have a whole legion of trouble 
waiting to happen.  If he was right, that Addict was a newbie, and bound to 
make mistakes.  He'd catch up with her and his beloved car soon enough.

To be continued...

From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 22:39:45 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Heading Home---#2
To: nunkies@world.std.com

It keeps going and going and going...

     Jen pulled into the parking lot of the huge bookstore and glanced at her 
watch.  Plenty of time, the book signing wasn't over for another twenty 
minutes.  She dug her book out of her bag and entered the store.  A figure 
separated from the shadows and followed her in.

     Jennifer thanked the author of her latest favorite vampire book again, 
and headed out the door.  There'd been few people at the signing so late, and 
she'd taken the luxury of engaging in a little conversation over the novel 
with its creator.  Now, she carefully tucked her treasure away, wrapped in an 
everything-proof bag (available at your local superstore).  As she walked out 
of the store, an arm slid around her waist.

     "Not so fast, now."

     "Hello, Spike.  Nice to see you again," she said.  "Walk me to m- Nick's 

     "Why, certainly."

     The two climbed in, this time with Spike behind the wheel, and took a 
rather circuitous route in the direction of the Shrine.

     They were almost there when Nick landed in front of his precious Caddy.  
Spike would have run him over if Jennifer hadn't stopped him.  She pecked the 
bleached blond vampire on the cheek.

     "Thanks for the lift, love.  See you when I get home," she said as she 
climbed out of the car.

     "Sure thing, dearheart," Spike said as he lit a smoke and wandered off 
into the night.  "Nice car, mate," he said to Nick as he passed the much 
older and *much* more pi.... (ahem) the much *angrier* vampire.  Nick 
seethed, but kept control as the Addict neared him.

     "Hi," she said, offering her hand.  "Name's Jennifer."

     Nick ignored it.  "You done with my car?" he growled.

     "Oh, yah," Jen said.  "Thanks for letting me borrow it."

     "You're welcome," Nick said.  He *really* wanted to bite this girl, 
purely for reasons such as vengeance, pain, suffering, nemesis, payback...

     "Well, I'd better be going if I want to get home on time.  Oklahoma's a 
long way from here, you know."

     "Figures," Nick muttered.  "An Okie Addict.  Don't you have any laws in 

     "As a matter of fact, we do, but I'm not an Okie.  I'm an Army Brat.  
Where I'm from depends on your point of view.  Now, if you're talking 
birthplace, then it's Colorado Springs, Colorado.  If you're talking..."

     It didn't take long before Jennifer's list of homes and definitions of 
home sank Nick deep into flashback/angst mode.  She kept talking as she led 
the dazed vampire back to his car and put him in the driver's seat.  She made 
cerain that the keys were out of the ignition and sitting on the passenger 
seat.  She didn't want LaCroix's son driving around in his condition.  She 
might really get it if anything happened to him.  Then again, she might not...

Just one more, I promise.

From: LdyofSable@aol.com
Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 23:07:04 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Heading Home---#3
To: nunkies@world.std.com

This is the last part.  I swear...

     Jennifer walked into the Sacred Stables and smiled when her horse 
actually nickered at her.  She pulled a couple of Horse Nibbles  cookies 
from her backpack and fed them to him over the stall door.  He looked like he 
had had no problem at all with staying in a luxuriously appointed box stall.  
The hay was sweet and fresh, the water buckets clean and full, and the 
bedding of the highest quality.  A door opened into a small, grassy paddock, 
allowing Coup free access to a grazing and sunning area.

     Jennifer slipped his halter onto him and led him into the aisle.  She 
tied him loosely to a post by the tack room, and went in to get her things.  
First, she put on her proper barn shoes and pulled her hair back.  Then she 
pulled out a soft brush.  She ran it over Coup's shimmering hide.  LaCroix's 
stables and their occupants were so well cared for, no other cleaning, other 
than that of the hooves, was really neccessary.

     Coup sniffed Jennifer's hair as she but his exercise boots on all of his 
legs, and then put his ears forward when she carried the saddle out.  His 
owner laid the burgundy, gray, and navy pad down carefully, then put the dark 
english saddle on top of it.  She pulled the girth tight and strechted Coup's 
legs to prevent pinching.  Finally, she put her chaps, gloves, and helmet on. 
 She double-checked the tack room, making certain that she had everything 
before securing her saddle bags.  She took Coup's halter off and packed it 
away.  With a few murmurs of "Come on, that's my boy," she had her treasure 
bridled and ready to go.

     She waited until she was off the Shrine grounds to mount her horse.  As 
he had before, Angel appeared to help her into the saddle.

     "You must really get a kick out of that," she said to him from atop her 

     "Oh, you wouldn't believe how literal that is with inexperienced riders."

     "Yes I would.  I taught beginner lessons, remember?  Somehow, someone 
always manages to kick you on their first leg-up.  It's not pleasant."

     Angel smiled.  "Have a safe trip home."

     "We will."  Jennifer turned Coup, and trotted away.

     She passed the alley where she'd left Nick and his Caddy.  The vampire 
was still there, but he seemed to have moved past the flashback/angst stage 
to just severe angsting.

     It was a long trip home, but Jennifer and Coup made sure it was a good 
one.  When Jennifer put her horse in his stall, there was, as promised, a 
Divia carrot dispenser.  He happily set to munching on goodies as she cleaned 
and put up his tack.

     "Tired?" someone asked her.

     "Yes, I am.  Care to give me a hand, Luke?"

     "Sure," the Jedi said.

     "Thanks."  Jennifer smiled at one of her few mortal, human obsessions.  
Then again, he was a mortal with some interesting talents.

     "So," Luke said, "about that Star Wars/Forever Knight/Animaniacs 
crossover you've been suggesting..."

It's over!!!  :-)  Hee hee hee.  I'm free!  I'm free!  Dang it!  I have more 
unfinished stories for other commitments!!!
Oh well.  :-)  No rest for the wicked.

To: Nunkies@world.std.com
Subject: NA: Doldrums Drum roll . . .
From: Patricia L Elmore 
Date: Wed, 02 Jun 1999 22:28:48 EDT

"I'm tired," Patt complained, shifting slightly with discomfort.

"Only 2,745,414 more tiles to go," Jules replied.  The High Priestess
looked quite content and comfortable stretched out on the velvet divan
she'd had placed close to Patt's work area.  "Make bigger circles and the
cleaning will go faster."

"This really isn't fair, Julsie," Patt announced, rocking back on her
heals and dropping the scouring pad into the soapy bucket.  "All the
other addicts contributed as much, or more, to the Ying yanking as I did
but they aren't down on their knees.  Oh, no, they're cavorting around in
togas and decorating the Shrine.  Stringing garland here, lighting
candles there, dusting Nunkies' faces all over the place . . ."

"Patt, dear, you're rambling," Jules broke in, never taking her eyes from
her manicuring.  "If you feel your punishment does not fit the crime, you
may always plead your case to a higher court?"

"Traffic?" Patt said hopefully.

"I was thinking more of LaCroix Court," Jules smiled evilly.  "He has
quite a reputation as a judge, you know."

Patt gave the HP a nasty look.  "I really hate it when you've spent some
quality time with Nunkies," the Third Cousin said.  "You get rather . . .

Jules stretched with the grace of a waking Siamese, but said nothing.

With a heavy sigh, Patt picked up the Chore Boy  and continued


"Yes, Patt."

"You never did tell me what the squiggly line was."

Jules cocked an eyebrow at the other woman.  "Squiggly line?"

"Yea," Patt said.  "You remember . . . on the scroll.  The squiggly line
on the bottom floor of the Shrine plans."  

"Oh, that line."  Jules smiled.  "LaCroix's original plans included the
construction of a canal to run the length of the Shrine, with gondolas
floating on it."

"Kewl!"  Patt grinned with delight at the thought of more Nunkies

"Don't go grabbing your oars, Third Cousin," Jules sat back in her divan
and continued her filing.  "That, like the other construction ideas, is
just a fantasy."


So . . . I posted again.  Anyone other than my mother want to shoot me??


From: Ntkiss@aol.com
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 02:23:35 EDT
Subject: NA: Doldrums/Epilogue/Sukh
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Aha!  We really aren't done yet!


"Well that was much more fun than I thought," Sukh commented as the watched 
the Busboy o' dreams do her part of the cleanup.  She focused on the play of 
tight muscles across his bare back as ...

"Are you finished?"  

Sukh snapped out of her cheesy romance novel reverie as Michael's voice 
sounded in her ear.  Crap! She'd left her ear comm on.  "Umm, not quite," She 
simpered as the cover model worthy busboy approached her.

"Yes, well, I do have things for you to do in my Harem." Ice dripped from 
each French accented word.  

"It isn't Tuesday yet." Sukh commented as she took the busboys arm and 
started out of the restaurant. She reached up and removed her ear comm, 
tossing it in a nearby trash bin.

"Nice eye candy," Angel commented as he walked out of the shadows.  

"Aw, man, not you too?"  Sukh sighed.  She had to watch less television.  Next 
Xander would come out of the woodwork, or Duncan, or Mel.  Okay, she could 
handle Mel, especially in a kilt.  

"Hey I'm just looking out for you," Angel smiled.  "Besides I can tell you 
were irked not to get to see that Tattooed dude in the burnoose alone."

"Don't remind me," Sukh sighed.  "But Nunkies looks hot in a burnoose too, so 
I'll get over it."

Sukh smiled at the busboy and stepped close to the Harley at the curb.  The 
long haired guy in black grinned at her, then shook his head as Angel gave 
her a peck on the cheek.

"Later, at the mansion.  Don't let Michael hog you."  Then he melted into the 
Toronto night.

Eric grinned again as he waved off the hunky busboy.  "I can take it from 

"Bye." She slipped a piece of paper into the dark haired guy's hand.  "My 
email. Write to me."

"I will," he promised as he watched her mount up behind Eric.  

The Harley revved and Eric turned to her.  " I see we've had far too much 
fun," He turned and reached out to get a stray snow pea from her hair.

"Hey, its a Nunkies thing." Sukh grinned back and swiped at a bit of 
indertiminate sauce on her nose.

"What is it with you and the undead?"  he asked as he turned back around.

"Well, Eric, I have this thing about guys in black.  You-although the bird 
does follow a little to close sometimes: Nunkies-black Armani, 
Michael-Mission pants, Angel-Black leather.  See a pattern?"  She teased.

"I do."  He revved the bike and they took off towards the shrine.

Once at the shrine, she hopped off.  "Thanks, Eric."  

Eric shook his head, and fingers a sticky lock of hair.  "Anytime."  Then he 
was gone with a growl of the Harley.

She snuck in, managing to get past the HP and Grout duty and slipped into her 
room.  She ran into a solid chest and gasped.  

Icy green eyes stared her down.  "And how many other men in different series 
to you have stashed away?"  Michael asked her. Then he got a good look at her 
rapidly crusting face.

"Umm, food fight."  Sukh looked for her clothes.  They were packed and 
waiting.  "I need a shower."  

"I'll wait."  

"Nunkies is going to kill me if he finds you here.  Could you at least lurk 
on the street outside?"


Sukh sighed.  "Fine." She came out of the shower ten minutes later to find 
her clothes laid out and a toothbrush nearby.

"You didn't really think I'd let you get away with that, did you?"  Nunkies 
was glaring at her.  "I don't like to share my addicts." His voice was quiet, 
too quiet.  "And I certainly don't let them into MY shrine."  He motioned to 
the toothbrush.  "Feel free to help the third cousin wit her grout duties.  
Five minutes."

"Yes, General."  

Five minutes later she was kneeling alongside of the Third cousin, scrubbing. 

(For now!)


From: NewCousin@aol.com
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 23:46:37 EDT
Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Epilogue Part 4 - Finally, the End!
To: nunkies@world.std.com

Okay, let's put this puppy to bed.  I'm leaving tomorrow for Disneyworld, so 
I'd best get this done tonight.  It'll be short and sweet with probably 
enough cheesy rationalization at the end to keep a whole horde of Screed's 
sweet little squealers happy.    Just wanted to say how much I've enjoyed 
this whole romp through the park.  You're a wild and crazy bunch, and this 
feels even more like home now.  


The two redheads scrutinized one another.  Suddenly, Christy felt the pieces 
fall into place.

"Wait!  Non-sensible shoes on a short redhead...you're Bonnie, aren't you?" 
she exclaimed.  "We've been missing you.  Too bad you couldn't have been here 
from the beginning."

Bonnie grimaced as she remembered how beautifully Nunkies had framed her.  
"Yeah, tell me about it."

Christy looked around the cell.  "Pretty boring place they have here.  The 
least they could do is put in a poster of 'Lucius in Repose' or something."

The discussion on room decor was interrupted when the doorway down the hall 
opened to admit TOG and Glennis, who was smiling broadly.

"You're both getting out!  The charges have been dropped!" she chortled.

"No way!" the women said in unison.

"Way," answered Nick.  "I've dropped the charges against your Scribe since 
*you,* he indicated Christy with a glare, "have admitted to stealing it."

Christy had the good grace to blush slightly.

"And, I've also dropped the charges against you, green-eyed lady," he 
continued with that charming boyish grin.  "After all, most of the blame is 
mine.  I really shouldn't have left it lying around in the first place.  It's 
back safe and sound and no actual harm was done."

She smiled.  "Why Detective Knight, how very chivalrous of you."

Glennis broke in excitedly, "And the whole camel fiasco is over too!  When 
TDD and I got your note that you'd been arrested and that Nick was bringing 
you here, we went to zoo.  Tall, dark and studly charmed the 
pan...um...discussed the matter with the Director of the zoo, and *she* says 
all is forgiven.  The camel checked out none the worse for wear, and since 
*she* was in such a good mood, *she's* dropped the charges."  Glennis pouted 
for a moment.  "Then he had to leave.  Seems Chris suddenly started feeling 
*much* better."

"Glennis, I left that note hours ago."

Glennis blushed, "Yes, well, it did take us a little while to find it.  Then 
there was the half-hour drive to the zoo and a couple of hours 
of...um...discussion between TDD and the zoo director...."

"Nevermind, girlfriend.  I'm just glad to see you.  Let's get the heck outa 
here and get back to the Shrine!"


The Caddy drove away and left the three women standing outside the 
still-closed Jeweled Peach in the pre-dawn hours.  Going around to the alley, 
they tiptoed inside.  The only sound they heard was one of scrubbing 
punctuated by the HP stating, "You missed a spot."

"This is *not* looking good, guys," said the Scribe.  "Grout duty has been 
assigned, and I have a funny feeling that more heads are going to roll.  Ours 
in particular."

"Indeed," said a voice dark and rich as molten chocolate.  LaCroix detached 
himself from the shadows, arms crossed, looking down upon his troublesome 
addicts.  Bonnie groaned.  Glennis began to melt.  Christy, caught up in the 
icy blue eyes, just grinned goofily.

The HP joined LaCroix, three toothbrushes extended.  "You three can change 
and join Patt and Sukh.  I'm sure they'll be most grateful for the 

They each grabbed a toothbrush and headed dejectedly for their rooms to 
change into proper grout-scrubbing attire.

Suddenly, Christy exclaimed, "Glennis!  What did you do with them?"

"Oh!  Right here in my pocket, but *I'm* not giving them the things.  Grout 
duty for life is *not* my idea of fun."  She passed something small to 
Christy, who slowly approached the HP and LaCroix.

"Um, since we're all going to be a little...occupied...could one of you 
possibly see that Nick gets these?"  A small, mischievous grin appeared.  
"I'm sure he'll want them back."  She extended her closed hand.

LaCroix's eyebrow lifted in warning.  His patience was wearing thin.  
Swallowing convulsively, the hand opened to reveal four double-A batteries 
lined up neatly on her little palm.

"Well," she explained, "he just left the durn remote sitting there again.  I 
could hardly let him get away with having dragged me off to jail, now could 
I?  After all, it's not like I stole the whole thing again.  Glennis just 
held them for me until they could process the paperwork to release me."

LaCroix held out his hand, and she gave him the batteries.  "I will see that 
Nicholas' property is returned."  He gave her a stern look, but amusement 
gleamed in his eyes.

As the three continued on their way, LaCroix turned to Jules.  "A bit raw."

"True, but training will help with that."

Glancing once again at the batteries in his hand, the corners of LaCroix's 
mouth turned slightly upward.  "She *does* show promise, though."


Consider yourself cured of the Summer Doldrums! :D

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