"Yankee Doodle Doctor"
The 4077th is asked to participate in a documentary film called "Yankee Doodle Doctor," which has been commissioned
by General Clayton to show the diligent surgeons at work. Lt. Dwayne Bricker, a movie director in uniform, gets
in the way of the real life surgeons and they rebel. Hawkeye and Trapper decide that what they have done, at
Bricker's insistence, before his cameras is pretentious and untrue. They expose most of his footage, and Bricker
leaves the camp in a huff after refusing to shoot anymore footage of Hawkeye. Blake doesn't want his outfit marked
as uncooperative. Therefore, Hawkeye decides to make his own film using Bricker's equipment and cameraman. The new
version of "Yankee Doodle Doctor" is full of Hawkeye's antics. Then there's a serious talk detailing the reality
about battle injuries. Everything they do is not enough because guns have more power to take life than surgeons
have to preserve it. The film causes some flack, but Hawkeye dreams of future acting triumphs.
Source: Twentieth Television
Airdate : 10/22/72 (episode 6, season 1)
Episode: J-310
Writers: Laurence Marks
Director: Lee Philips
Producer: Gene Reynolds
Executive Story Consultant: Larry Gelbart
Associate Producer: Burt Metcalfe
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Guest Cast:
Father Mulcahy --- William Christopher
Lt. Bricker --- Ed Flanders
Sgt. Martin --- Bert Kramer
Gen. Clayton --- Herb Voland
Margie Cutler --- Marcia Strassman
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Clip 1 (98 K)
- Frank: "A group of brave men are at work in a makeshift
operating room struggling to save your sons and brothers while outside the dogs of war bark at the door
of this sanctuary."
- Hawkeye: *barking*
- Trapper: "Down boy. Down. Down"
Clip 2 (47 K)
- Henry: "Okay, why'd you do it?"
- Trapper: "Do what?"
- Henry: "Do what you did."
- Hawkeye: "What are we supposed to have done that makes you ask
if we done what we did?"
Clip 3 (97 K)
- Radar: "Gosh, I'm glad they brought me here."
- Hawkeye: "Wait a minute, have you got a reservation?"
- Radar: "A reservation?!"
- Hawkeye: "I'm afraid we're all booked up through New Years."
- Trapper: *quacking noise*
- Radar: "But doctor!"
- Hawkeye: "I'm sorry, kid. You should've booked ahead. Come to think
of it you should've booked the rest of the body as well."
Clip 4 (62 K)
- Hawkeye: "Nurse, is that patient prepared for surgery?"
- Cutler: "Yes, doctor."
- Hawkeye: "Well I'm certainly glad one of us is."
- Trapper: *quacking noise*
- Hawkeye: "Tell me something, did you take his pulse?"
- Cutler: "Yes, doctor."
- Hawkeye: "I told you to take his wallet. First thing's first."
- Trapper: *quacking noise*
Clip 5 (232 K)
- Hawkeye: "Three hours ago this man was in a battle. Two hours ago we
operated on him. He's got a fifty-fifty chance. We win some. We lose some. That's what it's all about.
No promises. No garaunteed survival. No saints in surgical garb. Our willingness, our experience,
our technique are not enough. Guns and bombs and anti-personnel mines have more power to take life
than we have to preserve it. Not a very happy ending for a movie, but then no war is a movie."
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