Once upon a time, there was a maverick surgeon who, in a fit of pique ( Actually, it was an off-fit, but he was flexible ), decided he was going to end the Korean War. So, as an equally piqued Head Nurse watched in amazement, off he drove to kick some peace talking behind. She was very supportive.

"You Can't Do That! Are You Crazy?!"

His loving CO was very supportive, as well.

"We gotta corral that crazy injun!"

Making his way into the peace talks, the surgeon taught the bleary-eyed delegates the secret language of peace.

"How---dee?"

Winning a maverick's victory, Doctor Pierce withdrew to his hearth and home away from home. Or was that his home and his hearth away from hearth?

In any event, there was much rejoicing, and his colleagues wearing of red from head to toe livened up his soul. Hours later, a Major Goss from I-Corps arrived. The Colonel's presence was one easily discerned.

"He's the one drinking with both hands."

As per everyone's expectation, Goss politely but firmly insisted that Pierce return to Panmunjon. Astonishingly, he acquiesced.

"Colonel...this is all on me. I'm the one who made the ride, I get to be the one that takes the ride. We need surgeons here."

A Margaret who looked oddly hotter as a redhead shook her head.

"But one less nurse won't make any difference--I'm going with you."

Oddly, Goss had no objection to this, so off they went to face General Tomplin, and presumably, the music. But the tempo was one the pair never expected.

At the peace talks, it was the previously restrained North Korean delegate who spoke, sporting at least slightly better English than he had previously indicated being capable of.

"Captain, we were all discussing what a great fool you are. We all had quite the hearty laugh over it."

Somewhat prepared to recieve a dressing-down, Pierce shot off only a mild quip, for which Margaret was grateful.

"Glad to be of help."

General Tomplin stepped forward.

"Son, you were of help. It was the first real moment we had here, laughing at you and that damned-fool stunt. Some things fell into place, after that. There's still some sticking points, naturally."

The North Korean spoke again.

"Such as a heated exchange between Beijing and Moscow, as we and The Chinese People remind Mister Stalin that close ally does not translate into bound slave."

Tomplin finished up.

"Doctor, I believe you gave Major Goss a prescription for what ails me. Well, son, I'm taking it. We all are. We here owe you a bundle. Take a message back to your camp, Doctor."

Pierce was apprehensive.

"What message, General?"

Tomplin smiled.

"The Message."

In great triumph, the surgeon and the nurse were returned to camp--the camp which was now no longer their home.

Margaret got out of the Jeep, and presented Hawkeye back to their friends with a flourish.

"Behold, The Conquering Hero!"

There was uncertain applause, as Hawkeye got out, and handed Potter a message from Tomplin.

"Hawkeye....this better not be your death warrant. I'm the only decent shot around for miles."

Potter read the message, uncertain of how to deliver the message. It could turn around on them, as it had before. But Sherman opted for hope, as he addressed the family he might soon lose forever.

"Once upon a time, there was a maverick surgeon, who, in a fit of pique, decided he was going to end The Korean War."

Potter then smiled.

"And that was exactly what he did. Folks, in one month's time, God Willing, we will all be closing this place down for good. Radar--say the words, that we've all been longing to hear."

Over the PA, the Iowan who would now have a chance to say goodbye to his beloved Uncle Ed, did his thing.

"Attention All Personnel---Courtesy of Captain Doctor Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce----"

Radar sniffed, and gathered his voice, as smiles and kisses were exchanged all around, especially between a newly- separated Head Nurse and a Chief Surgeon and Peacemaker who was beside himself with a joy so unrestrained, he even thought about forgiving Trapper.

Radar finally said the words.

"----THE WAR IS OVER!!!!"

And all because one man from a small town in Maine just never quite knew when to shut up.

How's that for a happy ending?