1782 - George Washington becomes the first president to masturbate in the Oval Office.

1982 - On the bicentennial of Washington's feat, Reagan celebrates with "The Oval Office Oral Orgy" (now that's assonance for ya [alliteration with vowels]).

1990 - Lawson, for the first time since December 11, 1986, does not eat any cheese in the day.

1992 - Leonard Freeman, of Biloxi, Mississippi, discovers half of a canteloupe lodged in his toilet. In an effort to remove it, the canteloupe is fired from the toilet, embedding into Leonard's head. Leonard would tour with the circus as "Canteloupe Head".

1997 - Davisson updates his web page.

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