67 B.C. - Romans invent underwear.

63 B.C. - Ballus Freedomus accidentally loses the only copy of the blueprints for underwear.

132 - Coincidentally, on the 200th anniversary of the Roman invention, Ballus Freedomus VIII finds the blueprints for underwear in the middle couch cushion while looking for his remote control.

1982 - Since nothing significant enough has happened in 1850 years, President Reagan declares a "National Day of Significance"

1988 - The First Annual Tito Convention is held in Santa Monica, California. Sadly, only Tito Puente and Tito Jackson attend the convention.

1989 - The Second Annual Tito Convention is held in Mobile, Alabama. Only Beavis and Butthead attend, asking, "where's Tito?"

1996 - A new kind of cheese is discovered in Antarctica. Lawson sets an immediate world record by eating 15.4 pounds of "cold cheese" in one day.

1997 - Davisson updates his web page.

go home