A Dog Named Sex


Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Spot.  I call mine Sex.  
Of course, this has caused several misunderstandings.  The following
is a small sample of them: 

When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I 
would like a license for Sex.  He said, "I'd like one, too!"  Then I 
said, "But this is a dog."  He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand.  I've had Sex since I was 9 years 
old."  He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid." 

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.  I 
told the hotel clerk that I want a room for my wife and me and a special 
room for Sex.  He said, "You don't need a special room.  As long as you 
pay you bill we don't care what you do."  I said, "Look, you don't seem 
to understand.  Sex keeps me awake at night."  The clerk said, "Funny, I 
have the same problem." 

One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but the dog ran away.  Another 
contestant asked me why I was looking disappointed.  I told him I had 
planned to have Sex in the contest.  He told me I should have sold my own 
tickets.  "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on 
TV."  He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal 
any more." 

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of 
the dog.  I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."  The 
judge said, "This courtroom isn't a confessional.  Stick to the case, 
please."  Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.  He said 
that's not unusual. 

Last night, Sex ran off again.  I spent hours looking around town for 
him.  A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley 
at 4 o'clock in the morning?"  I told him that I was looking for Sex.  My 
case comes up Friday.