Who to Fire?     

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either
Jack or Jill.  He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the
next morning.  Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the
manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee 
break.  Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the 
manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, 
neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their 
desk. Then the manager thought he'd wait & see who would leave work the 
earliest, and both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the 
coat rack & the manager went up to her & said, "Jill, I have a terrible 
problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off." Jill said, "Well, 
you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus."