Instructions for reading:  Read in an Italian accent 


I am an Italiano.

One day ima gonna LA to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tella waitress I wanna two pisses toast. She brings me only one piss. I 
tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no 
understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna 
plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna 
ma bitch. 

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon 
and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna 
fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you
better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room 
ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him 
I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna 
shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I 
go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say piss 
on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy !