Little Johnny - Christmas             

             A few days after Christmas, a mother working in her kitchen was 
   listening to her little Johnny play with his new electric train in the 
   adjoining  room. She heard the train stop and the son said,
   "All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off right now, 'cause 
   this is the last stop... and all of you sons of bitches who are getting 
   on, get your asses in the goddam train 'cause we're leaving."
      
             The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of 
   language in this house.  Now I want you to go to your room for two hours 
   and think about what you said, and when you come out you may play with 
   your train again, but I want you to use much nicer language.
                
             Two hours later, the son came out of his bedroom and resumed  
   playing with the train.  Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her 
   son say, "All  passengers who are disembarking, please remember to take 
   all of your belongings with you. Thank you for riding with us today and 
   we hope you will ride with us again soon.  For those of you boarding, we 
   ask you to stow your hand luggage under the seat. Remember please that 
   there is no smoking except in the Club Car.  We hope you will have a 
   pleasant relaxing journey with us today.  For those of you who are pissed 
   off because of the two hour delay, please see the stinkin' bitch in the
   kitchen!"