Company memo

Subj:	SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

FR:  MANAGEMENT

SUBJECT:   SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity 
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained 
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, 
please see your manager.  You will be immediately placed at the top of the 
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you 
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. 
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL 
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.).  Those who fail to 
take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE 
TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they 
were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full 
of S.H.I.T. already. 
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training 
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST 
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). 
Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can 
apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, 
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.). 

Thank you,                                       

BOSS IN GENERAL

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)