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Episode 3

Scene   Ext. Day.
St Joseph's - the old church.

Peter goes for a walk.  Having sat outside St Joseph's for a
while, he goes to the ruined church.  He wanders around the
graveyard before venturing inside the church.  
He sits down on a stone right in the middle of the church and
looks up at what used to be a window, 
now surrounded by ivy.  He sits there in quiet contemplation.


Scene:  Int. Eve.
Later, when it's getting dark, Assumpta starts to get worried.

Niamh:          He's a big boy, he can look after himself.
Assumpta:       It's not like Peter.  

She grabs her coat and car keys from the kitchen.

Assumpta:       I'm going to find him.  Look after this place for me
                would you?
Niamh:          D'you want me to send a search party out it you go
Assumpta:       No, just don't let the takings disappear.


Scene:  Ext. Eve.
Assumpta's van.
Assumpta gets in the van and drives off.  
She passes a number of familiar spots - the lake, the grotto, St
Joseph's.  On her way home, in desperation, she drives past the
ruined church.  She sees something moving inside, stops the van
and gets out. 
She walks quietly up to the doorway and sees Peter wandering
around the church examining the remains.

Assumpta:       I thought you'd gone AWOL on me.

Peter turns round suddenly.

Peter:          Assumpta...

He looks at his watch.

Peter:          I'm sorry.  I lost track of time.
Assumpta:       Are you okay?
Peter:          Yeah.  Just thinking.
Assumpta:       Anything in particular?
Peter:          Life the Universe and everything.
Assumpta:       42.
Peter:          What?
Assumpta:       Nothing.  Are you going to tell me what the problem is?
Peter:          There isn't a...
Assumpta:       It's a sin to tell a lie.


Assumpta:       You've been a bit quiet the last couple of days. 
                Call me paranoid, but I can see something's bothering
Peter:          You'll take it personally.
Assumpta:       I won't.  Promise.

There is a long silence.

Peter:          Did I do the right thing?
Assumpta:       Sorry?
Peter:          Leaving the church.  Did I do the right thing?
Assumpta:       Oh well, thanks.  If you're having doubts, you might
                as well just...
Peter:          They're not doubts.  
Assumpta:       You could have fooled me.
Peter:          I just wonder sometimes.  You know?  Everyone still
                comes to me for advice, they keep telling me how good
                a priest I was.  I just wonder if I shouldn't still
                be one.
Assumpta:       People go to you for advice because you're good at
                giving it.  You sort people's problems out.  They can
                trust you.
Peter:          You think that's what it is?
Assumpta:       Do you love me?
Peter:          You know I do.  That isn't what this is about.
Assumpta:       Peter, no-one's pretending this is easy.  The church
                was a big part of your life, but you made the
                decision to leave it.  You did that for me... for us.  
                That's what you have to believe in.
Peter:          This is the first time I've been in a church for six
                months.  D'you reckon God still bothers to turn up in
                ruins like this?
Assumpta:       I don't know a lot about religion, but I always
                thought it came from who you were, not where you

Peter considers this.
Peter:          You're right.  I know you're not into all this stuff, 
                but I think I was supposed to leave.  Be with you. 
                But... you might find me up here a bit more often.
Assumpta:       Come on.

Assumpta holds her hand out and Peter takes it.  They start walking back to the van.

Peter:          You do know the church of England has women vicars?

Assumpta swipes at him.

Assumpta:       Don't even think about it!

Scene:  Int. Eve.
Assumpta is leaning on the bar watching Peter talking to Brendan.

Peter:          It'll be okay.  You just need to adjust to the idea.
Brendan:        I don't know anything about babies.
Peter:          Brendan, they don't come with instruction manuals.
Brendan:        More's the pity.
Peter:          You're just like every other first-time father.  You
                don't know any less than anyone else.  Anyway, half of
                it's instinct.
Brendan:        Ah, I suppose.  Anyway, thanks for your offer.  I'd
                better just make sure Siobhan's okay.
Peter:          Okay, see ya.

Brendan gets up and says goodnight to everyone, then leaves. 
Peter takes a sip from his pint.  Assumpta comes over and sits
down opposite him.  Peter looks depressed.

Assumpta:       I was thinking of getting a banner made.
Peter:          What?
Assumpta:       You know, ╬Clifford's Counselling Company' or

Peter smiles.

Peter:          Very funny.
Assumpta:       My fiance's not very happy at the moment, how do I
                make it better?
Peter:          You can get him another pint.
Assumpta:       It's his pub too, he can get it himself.
Peter:          Fair point.  You could try letting him take you out
                for dinner tomorrow night.
Assumpta:       Oh I could, could I?

Peter nods, leans over and kisses her.

Padraig:        Is that what a man has to do to get some service in

Peter and Assumpta part and look at each other.  Assumpta stares
him out until he gets up and serves Padraig.  Assumpta finishes
off his pint.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Outside Fitzgerald's, Early morning.

Brendan is frantically knocking on the door, until Peter and
Assumpta appear at separate windows.

Peter:          Brendan?  What's the problem?
Brendan:        Siobhan's gone into labour.  Can you take my classes
Peter:          Yeah, sure, no problem.  
Brendan:        Thanks.  See you later.
Peter:          Bye.
Assumpta:       Good luck.

Peter and Assumpta look at each other and close the windows.

Scene:  Int. Day.
The school
Peter is taking Brendan's class, including Kevin and Con.  The
children are talking loudly until Peter enters, when they all
fall silent.

Peter:          Morning.  If you could all sit down please.

The children obediently sit down.

Peter:          Thank you.   Now, Mr Kearney's had to take the day
                off, so you're stuck with me instead.

Kevin puts his hand up.

Peter:          Kevin?
Kevin:          Is Siobhan having the baby?
Peter:          Yes, she is.
Con:            Are you and Assumpta Fitzgerald going to have babies?

Peter glances at him.

Peter:          Okay, let's get the question and answer session over
                and done with, shall we?  Con, to answer your question, I
                don't know.

There is a silence until one girl timidly puts her hand up.

Girl 1:         D'you love her more than God?
Peter:          I love them both.
Girl 2:         Then why did you leave God?
Peter:          I didn't.  I left the church.
Girl 2:         Why?
Peter:          Because the church wouldn't allow me to love both of
                them.  I had to make a choice.
Girl 1:         Did you make the right one?
Peter:          Yes, I think so.  

There is a long pause.

Peter:          Finished?

No-one says anything.

Peter:          Right, well, I don't quite know what you're supposed
                to be doing today...
Con:            Mr Kearney was going to send us home after
Peter:          Nice try, but I don't think so somehow.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Brian's office.
Niamh comes in with Kieran.

Niamh:          Dad, Can you look after Kieran for a while?  I've got
                to take a class at the school... and check Peter's not
                got a riot on his hands.
Brian:          Why can't you take him?
Niamh:          Don't you want to spend time with your grandson?
Brian:          Of course I do, but I've got...
Niamh:          What?
Brian:          A meeting.
Niamh:          What about?
Brian:          It's just an old friend.
Niamh:          Business?
Brian:          Yes... anyway, why do I have to answer to you?
Niamh:          Because right now, Dad, your business is using my
                money, so a bit less of the secrecy wouldn't go amiss.
Brian:          You'll find out soon enough.
Niamh:          Fine.  In the meantime, you can take Kieran.
Brian:          Ah, Niamh, I don't have time...

Niamh walks out, leaving Kieran and his changing bag.

Brian:          Niamh!

Kieran looks up at him.

Scene:  Int. Day.
The school.
Peter's class is completely silent, absorbed in writing.  Peter
is wandering around the room, looking at the work displayed on
the walls.  Niamh enters.  She and Peter exchange glances.  Niamh
seems surprised he's got the class under control.

Peter:          Okay class, I'm just going outside the room for a
                minute, I don't want to hear any noise.  Is that clear?
Class:          Yes, Mr Clifford.

Peter moves into the corridor with Niamh.

Niamh:          I'm impressed.
Peter:          How could you ever doubt me?
Niamh:          What are they doing?
Peter:          Writing about their favourite place in BallyK...
                excluding the football pitch.  They're too young for me
                to exclude Fitzgerald's.

Niamh smiles.

Niamh:          Well, you've got an hour off after this.  I've got
                this lot for a drama class.
Peter:          Okay, great.  I'll turf them out into the playground
                in a minute.
Niamh:          Assumpta says you've to go back for some lunch.
Peter:          Shame.  I was hoping for a packed lunch.
Niamh:          Jam sandwiches?
Peter:          Absolutely!

Peter goes back into the classroom, the class still totally

The bell rings.  The children start to get up, then see Peter
raising one eyebrow at them.  They sit down again.

Peter:          Leave your books on my desk and go outside quietly.

The class do exactly what they're told.  Kevin hangs back and
goes over to Peter when the others have gone.

Kevin:          Is it right for Bren... Mr Kearney and Siobhan to
                have a baby?
Peter:          How d'you mean right?
Kevin:          Father O'Connell says it's not right.
Peter:          Father O'Conn...  I think it'd be wrong if they
                hadn't had the baby.  I just think whatever happens, God
                wanted it to happen.
Kevin:          No-one likes Father O'Connell.
Peter:          He's just doing the job I used to do.
Kevin:          Yeah, but you were different.
Peter:          Kevin, if you ever have a problem you don't think you
                can tell your dad or Father O'Connell about, promise
                you'll tell me?
Kevin:          Okay.  Promise.
Peter:          Right, go on, outside.

Scene:  Int. Day.
The restaurant.
Shamie is taking delivery of an order.  He goes out to the van
with a checklist of what he's ordered.  He checks everything off
as the van driver takes the stock in.  Then he starts bringing
out crates of carrots.  And more crates of carrots.

Shamie:         This isn't all for us.
Driver:         Yes, it is.
Shamie:         I ordered two dozen.
Driver:         Yeah, two dozen crates.
Shamie:         No, two dozen.

The driver goes over to Shamie and points to the list.  The order
form is divided up into a grid.  The column for 'single items' is
next to 'crates' and whoever filled in the form has put the tick
in the wrong box.

Shamie:         Ah, come on.  You're not going to make us take them
Driver:         I'm afraid so.  If you don't want them you'll just
                have to be more careful with the form next time.
Shamie:         I don't have the money here to pay for this lot.
Driver:         Well, you'll have to find someone who has.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Brian's office.  
Liam and Donal are pulling up outside in the van.  Brian dashes

Brian:          Ah, just the lads, look after Kieran for me, would
Liam:           Sure, what do we know about babies?
Brian:          It's probably best you don't.  All his stuff's in
                there.  I've got to go to the restaurant.

He leaves Donal holding Kieran at arm's length.  

Scene:  Int. Day.
Peter's just got back from the school.  His sandwich is waiting
on the bar.  Two men leave the pub and Assumpta clears their

Assumpta:       One tuna mix.
Peter:          Ah.  I was kind of hoping for a jam sandwich.
Assumpta:       Tough.  God, one day at school and you're worse than
                the kids.  What's it like?
Peter:          They're great.
Assumpta:       Did they say anything?
Peter:          About us?  Yeah.  They asked if we were going to have
                kids, why I left the church, that sort of thing.
Assumpta:       Simple stuff.

Peter shrugs.

Peter:          You know what Father O'Connell's been telling them?
Assumpta:       They'll burn in hell for all eternity if they don't
                do their homework?
Peter:          That it's not right for Siobhan and Brendan to be
                having a baby.
Assumpta:       What?!
Peter:          I know.
Assumpta:       He doesn't have the right to say things like that...
Peter:          Especially not to a group of kids.
Assumpta:       Somebody needs to put him in his place.
Peter:          I thought I'd already done that.
Assumpta:       Wait 'til I get my hands on him.
Peter:          You're not 'getting your hands on' another priest... 
                Anyway, it's my turn.

The door opens and Shamie walks in with a large box of carrots.  Assumpta laughs.

Assumpta:       You running a rabbit farm or something?
Shamie:         Very funny.  They made a mistake on the order.  You
                wouldn't happen to need any carrots would you?
Assumpta:       Depends.  I take it you're not giving them away.
Shamie:         I'll give 'em to you for half price.
Assumpta:       I don't know.
Shamie:         Ah, go on, help a friend out.

Assumpta considers it.

Shamie:         Okay, I'll take two thirds off them.
Assumpta:       Go on then.  I'll have one box.
Shamie:         One??!
Assumpta:       Yes, one.  I can't force-feed my customers, you know.
Shamie:         Okay, well, there's more if you need it.
Assumpta:       So I see.

Assumpta puts money on the counter and Shamie drops the box on
the bar and picks up the money, then walks out.

Assumpta:       Thanks Shamie.

She turns to Peter who is watching, bemused.

Assumpta:       Carrot?

Scene:  Int. Day.
Brian is waiting inside for Shamie.  He examines the crates of

Brian:          What the hell is this?
Shamie:         I told you there was a problem.  I managed to get rid
                of one to Assumpta.
Brian:          How did it happen?
Shamie:         Who filled in the order form?
Brian:          I got Donal to do it before he left... ah God.
Shamie:         Filled in the wrong box.  Maybe you'd better leave it
                to me in future.
Brian:          What are we going to do with it?  D'you reckon
                Assumpta'll have more of them?
Shamie:         No.
Brian:          I'll try Kathleen.

He picks one box up and walks out.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
The priest's house.
Peter walks up to the door and knocks.  After a moment, Father
O'Connell opens it.

Fr O'C:         Ah, Mr Clifford, please, come in.
Peter:          I won't, if you don't mind.  I just wanted a word
                with you about some silly idea the kids at the school
                have picked up on.
Fr. O'C:        Oh?  What's that?
Peter:          That Brendan Kearney and Siobhan Mehigan shouldn't be
                having a child.
Fr. O'C:        That's right.
Peter:          How dare you.
Fr. O'C:        I'm sorry?
Peter:          You should be.  What are you trying to say?  That an
                abortion is preferable to an unmarried couple having a
Fr. O'C:        Certainly not...
Peter:          Brendan and Siobhan are good members of this
                community.  Maybe if you spent a bit more time with the
                people in this town, then maybe you'd understand that
                everyone has their own opinions.  They don't go forcing
                them on other people.
Fr. O'C:        Well, I think these people have been left unguided
                for a while.  They seem to think moral judgment is a
                suitable substitute to the teachings of their faith.
Peter:          No.  Morals just help.

Peter turns away and heads towards the school.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Liam and Donal are trying to work out why Kieran is crying.  They
look at him, still holding him at arms length.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Peter is just finishing his tuna mix.  Assumpta is in the kitchen
preparing the day's dinner menu.  Peter looks over her shoulder
and reads it, then points at one line.

Peter:          I'll have one of those.
Assumpta:       You paying?
Peter:          Yeah, I am as it happens.  We're going out tonight,
                remember.  Thanks for lunch.  I have to get back.
Assumpta:       Okay.  Don't let them work you too hard.
Peter:          I get enough of that at home.

He kisses the top of her head.

Peter:          See you later.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Ext Office.
Liam and Donal are looking for anyone who might be able to help
them with Kieran.  Peter is coming up the road.

Liam:           Ah, Peter, just the man.
Peter:          You started a babysitting service or something?

Peter takes Kieran from Liam's outstretched arms and gives Kieran
a cuddle.

Liam:           I know which end's which, but that's about it.  Would
                you give us a hand?
Peter:          Sorry lads, I'm standing in for Brendan at the
                school, Siobhan went into labour. 

Liam looks disappointed.

Peter:          Here's a clue.  Bottom end.

He hands Kieran back and Liam looks only vaguely enlightened.

Peter carries on up the road.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Brian is trying to sell the carrots to Kathleen.

Brian:          Ah, come on Kathleen, one box?
Kathleen:       No.  They don't have a long shelf life.
Brian:          These are long-life carrots.
Kathleen:       You can't fool me Brian.  I'm sorry, but there's just
not the demand for it.

Brian walks out, annoyed.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Niamh is in the playground supervising the kids.  Peter goes over
to her.

Peter:          Hi, how did it go.
Niamh:          Not bad.  except for your man Con O'Neill insisting
                he had to be Eric Cantona.

Peter laughs.

Peter:          You might want to go and rescue your son.
Niamh:          Dad'll be okay.
Peter:          He's not with your dad.
Niamh:          What?   
Peter:          He's with Liam and Donal.
Niamh:          Oh God.  

She runs off in the direction of the office.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Liam and Donal are attempting to change Kieran's nappy without
much success.
They fasten the tabs on the new nappy and pick him up, only for
the nappy to fall off.  Niamh runs in.

Niamh:          Oh for heaven's sake, what do you think you're doing?

She takes Kieran and puts the nappy back on.

Liam:           You're dad just said...
Niamh:          Yeah, I know what my dad said.  Where is he?
Donal:          Don't know.

Niamh sighs and walks out with Kieran and his bag.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Niamh walks in with Kieran.  Assumpta is in the kitchen.

Assumpta:       How're ya?
Niamh:          Have you seen dad around?
Assumpta:       No, but I'd hazard a guess he's looking for hungry
Niamh:          What?
Assumpta:       Someone over-ordered.
Niamh:          Oh for God's sake.  Do I have to do everything around

Assumpta shrugs.

Niamh:          Would you do me a favour?
Assumpta:       Come here Kieran.

She takes Kieran from Niamh.

Niamh:          Thanks.  I shouldn't be long.
Assumpta:       No problem.  As long as you're back before 6.
Niamh:          What?... oh, your dinner date.  Course I will.

Niamh walks out, leaving Assumpta holding Kieran.

Scene:  Int. Eve.
Peter and Assumpta are into their main course at a posh

Assumpta:       You didn't have to do this you know.
Peter:          Just admit it, you're enjoying it really.

Assumpta smiles.

Assumpta:       You're not feeling guilty, are you?  About the thing
                at the church.
Peter:          Can't I take my fiancee out to dinner if I feel like
Assumpta:       Of course you can, but... the whole church thing,
                it's a big step.  We knew it would be.
Peter:          Yeah but... I don't know.  I just thought I'd never
have any second thoughts.
Assumpta:       Ambrose had second thoughts and his situation was a
                hell of a lot less complicated than ours.
Peter:          I know.
Assumpta:       You need time to get used to this.  So do I.
Peter:          Which is why I didn't want to rush the whole marriage
Assumpta:       I know.  I'm sorry I pushed it.  I shouldn't have

Peter laughs

Assumpta:       What?
Peter:          Nothing.  We're both as bad as each other.

Assumpta smiles and nods.

Peter:          It will happen though.
Assumpta:       I know.  I suppose I just wanted to over-write the
                whole business with Leo as soon as possible.

Peter holds her hand across the table.

Peter:          Assumpta, we're together now.  Just forget about Leo.
Assumpta:       That's like asking you to forget you were ever a
                priest.  It's not possible.  It happened.  We just have
                to get on with it.


Assumpta:       Did you talk to Father O'Connell?
Peter:          Yeah.  He tried to imply that I'd forgotten about the
                Catholic church and just let people decide things by
                their own morals.  
Assumpta:       Isn't that pretty much what you did?
Peter:          I let people think for themselves, that doesn't mean
                I encouraged them to commit every sin in the book.  He
                reckons he's just trying to clear up the mess I left


Peter:          It's weird.  I just can't stop interfering with what
                he's doing.
Assumpta:       Must be difficult to have to sit back and watch. 
                He's doing everything so differently.
Peter:          That's it.  As of now, I don't care what he tells
Assumpta:       You won't be able to keep that promise.
Peter:          I know.  I had my fingers crossed.

Scene:  Int. Eve
The Restaurant

Dr Ryan is browsing the menu.  The waitress stands by him
waiting for the order.  The customer looks up.

Waitress:       What's up Doc?
Dr Ryan:          Em, these filo carrot parcels... what would you
                suggest to go with them?
Waitress:       Well, the...
Dr Ryanr:       The carrot and coriander soup, perhaps?  Or maybe
                just the side-order of carrots... finishing with the
                carrot cake?  Is this a theme night or something?  I
                thought this was a Chinese restaurant.

The waitress looks incredibly embarrassed.

Scene:  Int. Eve
Niamh is struggling with an unusually full bar, most of them
ordering food.
Kieran starts crying.

Niamh:          Ah, Padraig, d'you remember what it was like to have
                a screaming baby in the house?
Padraig:        Only just, but I'll have a go.

Peter and Assumpta return from their meal and look surprised to
find such a crowd.  Assumpta and Niamh go through to the kitchen
as Peter helps with Kieran.

Assumpta:       We should go out more often.
Niamh:          I don't know where they're all coming from.
Assumpta:       Well the restaurant's almost empty.
Peter:          Any news from Brendan yet?
Niamh:          Not a word.  He'll have other things on his mind.

The customer from the restaurant comes into the bar.

Assumpta:       Hi, what can I get you?
Customer:       Anything without carrots would be nice.
Assumpta:       Ah, right.

She takes a printed menu from a stack behind her and hands it to

Assumpta:       If you'd like to take a seat, I'll be right

Niamh appears behind her.

Niamh:          Well, that explains it.
Assumpta:       I'm not complaining.

Assumpta goes to take the man's order.  The phone rings.  Peter,
holding Kieran, answers it.

Peter:          Fitzgerald's.  Brendan, Hi.  How's it going?

(we cut between Fitzgerald's and the hospital corridor)

Brendan:        (nervously) It's getting close.
Peter:          What's the problem?
Brendan:        I can't go in.
Peter:          Where are you now?
Brendan:        In the corridor.  I couldn't go in.  
Peter:          So Siobhan's in there on her own?
Brendan:        No.  The midwife's with her.
Peter:          Brendan, come on.  If you don't do this now, you'll
                regret it.
Brendan:        Yeah, but all the pain...
Peter:          Oh for heaven's sake.  Brendan, grow up.  This is a
                once in a lifetime thing.  

Assumpta comes into the kitchen.

Peter:          You either go in there now and help Siobhan, or you
                stay out there like you're in the dark ages.  Which is it
                to be?  Right, well, go on then.  Let us know as soon as
                it happens.  Good luck.

Peter replaces the handset.

Assumpta:       Brendan?
Peter:          Yeah.
Assumpta:       All men should be forced to be there.
Peter:          I agree.
Assumpta:       I mean, why should he get her into this situation and
                just be allowed to get away with it.
Peter:          I was thinking more about the father-child bonding

Assumpta looks at Peter, still holding Kieran.

Assumpta:       Whereas you just bond with other people's babies.
Peter:          Can I help it if I like children?

Peter turns to Kieran.

Peter:          (to Kieran)  Eh?

Assumpta rolls her eyes and walks out.

Scene:  Int. Eve.  
Brendan knocks on the door.

Siobhan:        Get lost!

An assisting nurse opens the door just as Brendan is turning

Nurse:          Sure, she doesn't mean it.
Siobhan:        I do!
Nurse:          Come on it.

Brendan gingerly steps inside and hangs right back against the
The midwife looks round at him.

Midwife:        Ah, give your wife a hand, would you?
Siobhan:        He's not my husband.
Midwife:        Ah, right, well, whatever.  Just hold her hand would
Brendan:        Er, sure.

He goes over and holds Siobhan's hand.

Midwife:        Now, Siobhan, you just take the pain out on Brendan's
                hand, understand?

Siobhan screams with pain and clenches Brendan's hand to breaking

Brendan:        Ow!

Scene:  Int. Eve.       
The Restaurant

The place is empty.  Brian and Shamie stand in the middle of the
room and look at each other... then walk back into the kitchen
and stare at the enormous stack of carrot boxes piled up, with
various carrot-coloured dishes on the worktops.

Scene:  Int. Eve.
Everyone in the pub is sitting at tables with plates of food
surrounding them.  Assumpta and Peter are in the kitchen.  Peter
is just putting Kieran into his buggy, whilst Assumpta is trying
to juggle the preparation of several different meals.

Peter:          D'you need a hand?
Assumpta:       Yeah.  

She finishes dishing up one meal.

Assumpta:       Take this to Liam, would you.
Peter:          I think I can manage that.

Peter picks up the plate and takes it out to Liam, who is sitting
at the end of the bar on his own.

Peter:          Liam.  Where's Donal?
Liam:           He's been recruited in the carrot crisis.
Peter:          Recruited for what?
Liam:           To get rid of the damn things.
Peter:          How?

Liam shrugs his shoulders.

Peter:          Why aren't you out with him?
Liam:           Peter, do I look like an eejit?

Peter decides it would be easier not to answer that question and
goes back into the kitchen.

Scene:  Ext. Eve.
The street.

Shamie is loading up the van with the excess carrots.  Donal
stands by the van door.

Donal:          You expect me to be able to sell all these?

Brian emerges from the restaurant.

Brian:          I don't care how you do it, Donal, just get rid of
                them.  And I don't mean throw them away.  I don't want to
                lose money on this.  Anyway, it's your fault.  I should
                be taking it out of your wages.  Go on, what are you
                waiting for?

Shamie closes the door and Donal gets into the van and drives

Scene:  Int. Eve.
The hospital.
Brendan's hand is virtually white from Siobhan squeezing it so

Midwife:        Okay, Siobhan, you're nearly there.  Just one more
                big push.

Siobhan does as she's told and there is a sudden cry as the baby
is born.  Brendan is in tears as the baby is handed to Siobhan.

Scene:  Int. Eve.

Peter is in the kitchen, washing up, with a huge stack of plates,
pot and pans on the draining board.  The phone rings and Peter
removes his rubber gloves and dries his hands, then answers the

Peter:          Fitzgerald's... Oh, Brendan, that's fantastic....
                what is it?... yeah, I know, I meant is it a boy or a
                girl?...Yeah, I'll tell everyone... glad you were
                there?... see, I told you... You take care of them,
                okay?... yeah, I'll speak to you soon.

He replaces the receiver and walks into the bar.  He rings the
hand bell.  Everyone looks up and starts to protest that it can't
possibly be last orders yet.  Assumpta comes over.

Assumpta:       What are you doing?
Peter:          (to the bar in general)  I've got an announcement to
                make.  Siobhan's just had a baby girl.

There are cheers from the regulars, slightly bewildered claps
from the restaurant's customers.

Assumpta:       Was Brendan there?
Peter:          Yeah.  I think he'll be rather happy he was.

Scene:  Int. Eve.
Siobhan is asleep while Brendan sits beside her cradling his

Scene:  Int. Day.
Peter is already in the kitchen, washing up, when Assumpta comes

Assumpta:       Have you been here all night?
Peter:          I don't know.  Feels like it.

There is a knock at the door.  Assumpta goes to answer it.  It's
Donal, with a large box of carrots in his hands.

Assumpta:       Ah, Donal, don't even bother asking.

She shuts the door on him.

Donal:          Is that a no?

Scene:  Ext. Day.
The street.

Donal goes from Fitzgerald's to Hendley's.  He walks in and is
immediately thrown out again by Kathleen.  He takes the carrots
back to the van and starts the engine.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Assumpta and Peter are having breakfast, with a stack of plates,
clean, behind them on the worktop.

Assumpta:       You helping out again at the school?
Peter:          I suppose so.  I doubt Brendan'll be there today.
Assumpta:       Weird, isn't it?
Peter:          What?
Assumpta:       I never thought of Brendan as a fatherly type.
Peter:          He's worked with kids for years, what's so strange
                about that?
Assumpta:       Yeah, worked with them, not brought them up.  There
                is a difference.
Peter:          He didn't do too badly with you.
Assumpta:       I brought myself up.
Peter:          Ah, that's where it went wrong.

She swipes at him.

Assumpta:       No, he was a good teacher.  I suppose it's just
                strange that Niamh and Ambrose had a child before he did. 
                A few years ago, we were sitting in his classroom...
                throwing paper aeroplanes.
Peter:          Oh really.  That kind of offence would warrant a
                detention, wouldn't it?
Assumpta:       I spent half my life in detention...
Peter:          And the other half throwing aeroplanes.
Assumpta:       Something like that.

There is a pause.

Assumpta:       D'you want me to make you a packed lunch?

Peter smiles sarcastically at her.

Peter:          Only if it's jam sandwiches.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
The school.

Donal is outside, trying to sell carrots to the parents, kids and
teachers.  He's not having too much luck, despite his sales

Donal:          Hey, these things make you see in the dark!  That'd
                be cool, wouldn't it?!

Peter comes up the road.

Peter:          Donal, what are you doing?
Donal:          What does it look like?
Peter:          It looks like you're pestering the kids.  
Donal:          I'm trying to change their eating habits.  D'you know
                how much junk food kids eat today?
Peter:          Nice try Donal, but wouldn't you be better off trying
                some of the farms or something?

Donal looks puzzled.

Peter:          We're not the only ones who eat carrots, you know.
Donal:          Ah, right, yeah, I got you.

Donal walks off towards the van.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Inside the school.
Peter walks in to find Brendan sitting at his desk in the
classroom, staring at a Polaroid of his daughter.  Peter knocks
and walks in.  He looks over Brendan's shoulder.

Peter:          She's gorgeous.

Brendan speaks without looking up.

Brendan:        Isn't she just?  You were right.  Thanks for making
                me go.
Peter:          No problem.  Do I take it my services aren't required
                any more.
Brendan:        No.  Thanks a lot for standing in yesterday, Peter.
Peter:          That's okay.  Any time.
Brendan:        I don't think Siobhan'll be in that much of a hurry
                to do that again.
Peter:          Right, well, any time you need a babysitter.
Brendan:        I'm sure we'll take you up on that.  Thanks.
Peter:          Okay, I'll be off then.  See you later.

Peter walks out and leaves Brendan still studying the photo.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Donal's van pulls up outside Eammon's farm.

Eamonn emerges from the barn and is greeted by Donal.

Donal:          Eamonn, how are ya?
Eamonn:         (suspicious) I'm fine.  What do you want?
Donal:          How are your pigs?
Eamonn:         What d'you want to know about them for?
Donal:          Well, you see, we had a bit of a problem with an
                order at the restaurant yesterday.
Eamonn:         You're not having them!  These pigs aren't for
                eating.  They're my pigs, you just keep your hands off
Donal:          I don't want your pigs.  I just want to know.  You
                love your animals, right?
Eamonn:         Yes.
Donal:          So you feed them the best, right?
Eamonn:         Yes.
Donal:          What?  That dried stuff?  You ever tried premium
Eamonn:         Carrots?
Donal:          Yeah.  Only they're supposed to be really good for
                pigs, you know.
Eamonn:         How?
Donal:          Em, it makes them really happy.  Something in carrots
                makes them really happy.
Eamonn:         Is that right?

Donal nods.

Donal:                  I have some carrots for you.  Cheap, but very
                good quality.
Eamonn:         I'll take all you've got.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Peter comes back from the school.

Assumpta:       Peter!  You're not bunking off already.  It's only
                your second day.
Peter:          Very funny.  Brendan's back, so I'm not needed.
Assumpta:       You're needed here.  I just found another lot of
Peter:          Oh, you're kidding.
Assumpta:       Yeah, I am.

Another sarcastic smile.

Peter:          Has Fionn been for a walk yet?
Assumpta:       I've only just got up.
Peter:          Right, we're all going for a walk.

Assumpta groans.

Peter:          What?
Assumpta:       Well, your idea of a walk is always my idea of a
Peter:          Okay, how about a stroll.
Assumpta:       A stroll sounds fine... Ah, I forgot.  
Peter:          What?
Assumpta:       I'm supposed to be babysitting Kieran.  Niamh's got a
                class at the school.
Peter:          We'll take Kieran with us.
Assumpta:       I don't know...
Peter:          Come on.  You need to get out of this place

She looks reluctant but he stares her out and she gives in.

Assumpta:       Okay.  You go over and see if Kieran's ready while I
                get my coat on.

Peter smiles and walks out, across the road to Niamh's.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Donal is driving back to the restaurant with an empty truck.
He pulls up outside the restaurant and Brian comes out.

Brian:          Where the hell are all my carrots?
Donal:          You told me to sell them.
Brian:          You didn't sell all those.
Donal:          No, I was hijacked by a gang of rogue pigs, Mr
Brian:          Very amusing.  Who did you sell them to?
Donal:          Eamonn.
Brian:          The whole lot?

Donal nods.

Brian:          D'you know something Donal?
Donal:          No.
Brian:          That's about the first time you've got something
Donal looks slightly confused, but smiles anyway.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Assumpta and Peter are walking by the river, Peter carrying
Kieran and Assumpta holding Fionn's lead.  Fionn is bounding
around the field.

Assumpta:       You don't have to drag me out of the house every
                morning you know.
Peter:          You weren't dragged.  Anyway, I like being able to
                spend time with you out of the pub... and it's more
                boring going for walks on my own.

They stop at a small bridge, each pick up a stick, drop it over
the side and rush over to the other side of the bridge to see it
come through.

Peter:          Kieran wins!

There is a long silence, with Peter and Assumpta both staring
into the river.

Peter:          Is this where we're going to be forever?
Assumpta:       Well, I was thinking of going home at some stage. 
                (pause)  D'you want to leave BallyK?
Peter:          No.  I thought you might.
Assumpta:       Why?
Peter:          You wanted to leave a couple of times.
Assumpta:       Yeah, when I was trying to get a certain person out
                of my head.
Peter:          Was that the only reason?
Assumpta:       I don't know.  I never really pictured myself staying
                here forever...  But it's different now.
Peter:          Because of me?
Assumpta:       You, Niamh, Kieran.
Peter:          What about you? 
Assumpta:       I just told you.
Peter:          No, you told me about the people who'd be affected. 
                What do you want?
Assumpta:       To be with you.  Peter, it doesn't matter where I am. 
                My friends are here, but you make new friends wherever
                you go.  As long as we're together, I really don't care.
Peter:          But you'd like to move on?
Assumpta:       I'd like to have a bit more to show for myself than
                the pub.
Peter:          You should be proud of it.  It's where it all
Assumpta:       There isn't anywhere else for it to happen.
Peter:          Okay, point taken.
Assumpta:       What about you?
Peter:          Same.  I want us to be together... but... I like
                BallyK.  I like the people.  They like me.  I thought
                it'd be more difficult, after what's happened.  I thought
                they'd be angry with me.  But they just stood by us. 
                We're surrounded by people who care about us.  It's the
                only place I've ever really thought of as home... and
                then there's this little feller.

He smiles at Kieran who is watching the water.

Assumpta:       Did you ever want children yourself?
Peter:          Still do.. sorry, that wasn't a hint or anything. 
                Nah, Kieran's enough to cope with for the moment.

He puts one arm round Assumpta's shoulder, kisses her, then
lightens the mood.

Peter:          Another game of Pooh-sticks, Kieran?
Assumpta:       Ah, why ask him, you're the big kid.
Peter:          You wouldn't want me any other way.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Brendan is sitting by Siobhan's bedside, with their daughter
lying in a hospital crib next to the bed.   She is clutching
Brendan's finger.

Siobhan:        Have you been to work today?
Brendan:        Yes.  Couldn't concentrate.
Siobhan:        You want to be careful, those kids'll put you on
Brendan:        Peter offered to stand in.
Siobhan:        You should have let him.
Brendan:        He'll have to save his energy.  He offered to babysit
                as well.
Siobhan:        Ah, the poor man doesn't know what he's letting
                himself in for, does he Aisling?
Brendan:        Aisling?
Siobhan:        I thought it suited her.
Brendan:        It does... but I'd like to have been consulted.
Siobhan:        Will I have to ask you about everything?
Brendan:        Don't be like that.  I just think our daughter's name
                is rather an important decision.
Siobhan:        You don't like it?
Brendan:        I do, I just think we should have discussed it...
                never mind.

There is an uncomfortable silence.

Brendan:        I should be going.
Siobhan:        Yeah.

Brendan strokes Aisling's cheek and leaves.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Eamonn's farm.
He has just fed the pigs and they are eating the carrots.  Eamonn
watches them.

Scene   Int. Day.
Peter and Assumpta are alone behind the bar.  We don't hear the
conversation, but they are laughing and joking together, with the
occasional kiss and cuddle.  They are kissing when Brendan enters
and slams the door.  Peter and Assumpta part.

Brendan:        A pint, please, Assumpta.

Assumpta goes to pour a pint, while Peter goes over to Brendan.

Peter:          You okay?
Brendan:        Aisling.
Peter:          Sorry?
Brendan:        Aisling.  She named our daughter Aisling.
Peter:          That's nice.

Assumpta brings the pint over and leans on the bar next to Peter.

Brendan:        She never asked me.
Peter:          About the name?
Brendan:        Of course about the name.  She never even bothered to
                ask me.
Assumpta:       So?

Peter looks at her, expecting fireworks from Brendan.

Brendan:        So?  It's my baby too!   She didn't ask me!  It's
                like I don't matter...  I can just see the way things are
                going to be.  If she didn't ask me about the baby's name,
                what else is she going to push me out of?
Peter:          Brendan, it's different with you and Siobhan.
Brendan:        Different to what?
Peter:          You're friends.  You've said it yourself.
Brendan:        So?
Peter:          There's going to be a link between your daughter and
                her mother.  You're going to have to make your own bond
                with Aisling.
Brendan:        How am I supposed to do that if she takes every
                decision about her life.
Assumpta:       Siobhan's not an ogre.  She'll let you see her.
Brendan:        I don't just want to see her, I want to be part of
                her life.
Assumpta:       Siobhan's a busy person.  There's a lot of people in
                this area who depend on her.  You know what it's like,
                she has to drop everything at a moment's notice.  She'll
                need you.
Peter:          Assumpta's right, but you need to talk to Siobhan.

Brendan takes a sip of his pint.

Brendan:        I will.  Later.
Peter:          You going to see her again tonight?

Brendan nods and takes another sip of his pint, then changes

Brendan:        Anyway, how are you?
Assumpta:       We're fine.
Brendan:        Decided on a date yet?

Peter and Assumpta look at each other.

Peter:          We might be getting there.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Eamonn's farm.
The pigs are all wandering around looking vaguely happy.  One pig
stops, and smiles at the camera.