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Title: "Think Different" 
Author: Becks

(for asterisk notes, see end of text) BTW, the title is a tribute to my
favourite computer company, Apple. 

Think Different 
'While some people see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.'

Ballykissangel Episode 4.3

Scene:          Int. Day.
Fitzgerald's.  Peter and Assumpta are sitting at the kitchen
table, sharing a pot of tea and conferring with the pub diary.

Peter:          What about the 24th?
Assumpta:       Can't.  There's a whole load booked into rooms
Peter:          31st?
Assumpta:       No.  Fundraiser.
Peter:          Why do I get the feeling this just isn't going to
Assumpta:       It will... if we can just find a date when we haven't
                already got other things on.

Peter suddenly points at the window.

Peter:          Look!
Assumpta:       What?
Peter:          A flying pig!

Assumpta gives him a sarcastic look and goes back to studying the

Scene:          Ext. Day.
A road somewhere around Cildargan.

A young man gets out of a car and thanks the driver.  He then
walks round to the boot and removes a large white box and puts 
it on a trolley.  He stands by the side of the road as the car 
pulls away.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Siobhan is driving home with Brendan and Aisling in the passenger
seat.  There is an uncomfortable atmosphere between them.
Brendan waves as Peter, driving Assumpta's van, passes in the
opposite direction.

Scene:          Ext. Day.
Peter finishes loading boxes of Taytos into the back of the van.
He gets in and starts back along the road to Ballykissangel.  
As he drives, the sky clouds over and it starts to rain.  (The 
scene is very similar to that in the first episode when Assumpta
gives Peter a lift)  Peter spots a the young man, hitching by 
the side of the road and pulls over.

Peter:          Where to?
Tony:           Erm, Bally....
Peter:          ...kissangel?
Tony:           That's the one.
Peter:          Jump in.  
Tony:           I can I stick this in the back?

He points at the large white box at his feet.

Peter:          Er, yeah, sure.

Tony goes round to the back of the van and puts the box in.
Peter turns round in his seat and notices and handle on the top
left hand corner of the box.   The box is covered in signatures
and has a sign on the front on it: 'Mo Chuisneoir'*. Tony gets
into the van and shuts the door.

Peter:          Em, is that a...
Tony:           A fridge?  Yeah.
Peter:          Dare I ask why?
Tony:           It's a bet.  A drunken bet.  I have to travel round
                Ireland with this thing.  I'm on the home straight,
                so I thought I'd stay in town for a few days.
                Anywhere you could recommend?
Peter:          Yeah, Fitzgerald's.  We've got a room spare.
Tony:           You run it?
Peter:          It's Assumpta's - my fianc*e.
Tony:           Right.  What part of England are you from? 
Peter:          Tiny place, up North.   You wouldn't know it.  You?
Tony:           Down South.  Wimbledon.  Tiny place, just a couple of
                tennis courts really. 
Peter:          ...and the Wombles. 

Peter smiles.

The car comes round the corner and across the bridge into the town.

Scene:          Int.  Day.
Assumpta is preparing food in the kitchen with the radio on.
Peter walks in just ahead of Tony and the fridge.  Assumpta 
appears from the kitchen.

Assumpta:       Hi.

She walks through to the bar to join them.

Peter:          Hello.  I picked up a customer on the way.  This
Tony:           Tony.  Hi.

Tony and Assumpta shake hands.

Peter:          Just one thing.  Do we have room for one man and his
Assumpta:       What?
Tony:           May I introduce Saoirse*.

Tony pushes the fridge in front of him.

Assumpta:       Ahem, right.  (to Peter)  Where do you get them from?
                (to Tony)  Would you like a drink?
Tony:           A pint'd be great, thanks.

Assumpta goes round to the other side of the bar as Tony takes a
place on a bar stool with his fridge on the trolley next to him.  

Assumpta:       Ah, I have to change a barrel, (to Peter) can I trust
                you to look after the place?
Peter:          Yes boss. 

Assumpta goes into the cellar.

Tony:           Have you lived here for long?
Peter:          Three years.  I used to be the priest.
Tony:           Oh, right.
Peter:          Temptation was too much, you know.

Tony nods.

Peter:          So, how much was the bet for?
Tony:           100.  
Peter:          Nice fridge.
Tony:           Yeah... it cost 130.

Peter laughs.

Peter:          You'll get on well with Liam and Donal.
Tony:           Sorry?
Peter:          Nothing.

Assumpta emerges from the cellar and starts to pull a pint.

Assumpta:       So what's the story with the fridge?
Tony:           A bet.

Assumpta suddenly make the connection and grins excitedly.

Assumpta:       You're the fridge man?
Peter:          Sorry?
Assumpta:       He's been on the radio for the last three weeks.
                They've been following his progress.  It's a
                brilliant idea.
Tony:           Brilliant, but sadly, mad.
Assumpta:       Ah, everyone's mad round here.
Peter:          Nothing wrong with a bit of madness.
Assumpta:       Yeah, he's mad.  (indicating Peter)

Peter gives  her a sarcastic smile as she passes the glasses over
the counter.

Scene:  Int.  Day.
Siobhan's house.  She enters the hallway with Aisling in her car
seat.  Brendan follows.  He puts several bags down in the hall
and goes into the kitchen.

Siobhan:        Where are you going?
Brendan:        Just thought you might like a cup of tea.
Siobhan:        I can manage.  We'll be fine on our own.

There is a silence and Brendan takes the hint.

Brendan:        I'll be going then shall I?  


Brendan:        Just let me know if you need anything.

Siobhan just nods and Brendan leaves.

Scene:  Int.  Eve.
Fitzgerald's.  It is quiet in the bar and Assumpta, Peter and 
Tony are having dinner in the kitchen.  The fridge is parked next
to the table.  Tony is passing round some of the photos he's 
taken on his travels.

Tony:           I thought they were just drunk.  But they were
                completely serious, they actually wanted to take the
                fridge surfing!  I had to turn down the offers of a
                diving trip.
Assumpta:       Well, I'm sure the regulars will be able to find
                something for it to do.
Peter:          Yeah, if it's brilliant madness you're looking for,
                you're in the right place.
Tony:           How did you end up here then?
Peter:          Oh, worked in Manchester for a few years, asked for a
                transfer, worked up at St Joseph's for a few years,
                fell for this one (he indicates Assumpta) and that's
                it really.  Not half as interesting as taking up an
                insane bet.
Assumpta:       Excuse me?!
Peter:          I didn't mean... well you know what I meant.

The bar door opens and Brendan storms in, in a bad mood.  Peter
gets up.

Peter:          I'll go.

He kisses the top of Assumpta's head and goes through to the bar.

Peter:          Evening Brendan.  Usual?

Brendan nods.

Peter:          I thought you'd be at home with Aisling tonight.
Brendan:        I would be.  If Siobhan'd let me.
Peter:          How'd you mean?
Brendan:        I took her home and she made it very clear I wasn't
Peter:          Brendan, that's awful.  Did she say why?
Brendan:        Nothing.  Not a word.
Peter:          (reasoning)  Maybe she just wants a bit of time on
                her own to get used to having Aisling there.
Brendan:        Or maybe she just wants to cut me out altogether.
Peter:          Or maybe you two just need to talk.

Brendan considers this.

Brendan:        Forget about the pint.

Brendan leaves and Peter goes back to the kitchen.

Assumpta:       Another customer dealt with?  (she turns to Tony)
                He's BallyK's resident counsellor, you know.  (to
                Peter)  There's just one problem.  
Peter:          What?
Assumpta:       You sort their problems out so fast they don't have
                time for a drink.  Your dinner's in the oven.

Peter goes back to the kitchen, just as Tony is getting up to

Tony:           That was wonderful, Assumpta.  Thanks.
Assumpta:       Ah, no problem.

Peter retrieves his dinner from the oven and sits back down 
opposite Assumpta.

Peter:          Interesting journey.
Assumpta:       Sorry?
Peter:          Tony.
Assumpta:       Hmm.
Peter:          Are you okay?
Assumpta:       Yeah, just thinking.
Peter:          Anything I should know about?
Assumpta:       D'you want to go back to England?
Peter:          What makes you say that?
Assumpta:       The way you and Tony were talking earlier.
Peter:          We've been through all this.  I want to stay with 
                you, wherever you are.
Assumpta:       If we can ever set a date for this wedding.
Peter:          Yeah.  Quite sad really, isn't it?
Assumpta:       What?
Peter:          That we can't find a window in the diary for our own
Assumpta:       We've still got to decide how we're actually going to
                do this, I mean St Joseph's is hardly an option, is
Peter:          Not with Father O'Connell in charge it's not, no.
Assumpta:       Well, for once, that's not entirely his fault, is it?
Peter:          You're not sticking up for him after all he said
                about Siobhan and Brendan, are you?
Assumpta:       No, I'm just saying that no matter how much you
                dislike him, it's not his decision whether we get
                married in a church or not.
Peter:          You wouldn't want to anyway.
Assumpta:       Depends what kind of church.

Peter falls silent and they carry on with their dinner.

Scene:  Ext. Eve.
Outside St Joseph's.  Brendan is walking past just as Fr. Aidan 
comes out.

Fr. Aidan:      Ah, hello... Brendan, isn't it.  How's your friend's
Brendan:        My friend?
Fr. Aidan:      Yes, Siobhan, isn't it?
Brendan:        She's my baby too!
Fr. Aidan:      Yes, of course.  A bit regrettable, really...
Brendan:        What?!  Now listen, I don't care what you think, but
                my daughter's not some kind of regrettable incident I
                can just forget about.  I'm not going to let that
Fr. Aidan:      No, of course not, I just meant...
Brendan:        Save it for someone who wants to listen, Father.

Brendan storms off in a worse mood that he was before, leaving 
Fr. Aidan slightly shell-shocked.

Scene:  Int.  Eve.
Siobhan's house.  Brendan stands outside, preparing himself.  He
hears Aisling crying.  He decides this wouldn't be the best time 
to have it out with Siobhan and walks away.

Scene:  Int.  Eve.
Fitzgerald's.  Tony is entertaining Liam, Donal and Padraig while 
Assumpta and Peter are listening behind the bar.  The fridge is 
on the floor by Tony's chair.  

Liam:           Can I sign it?
Tony:           Sure.  Just don't sign over Mother Clare's blessing.
Peter:          Excuse me?
Tony:           Oh yeah, it's been blessed and everything.  
Peter:          You're kidding me.
Tony:           No, serious.  Just after it was baptised with a
                bottle of Babycham.
Padraig:        What else has it done?
Peter:          She.
Padraig:        Sorry, she.
Tony:           She's met a King.  
Padraig:        Which one?
Tony:           The King of Tory Island.
Padraig:        Fair enough.
Tony:           ... and she's met about 50 Drunks in Residence.
Assumpta:       What?  
Tony:           Drunks in Residence.  All pubs have one.  It's
                something I've observed while I've been travelling
                round.  Who's yours?
Assumpta, Peter, Liam and Donal:        Padraig!
Padraig:        Thanks a lot.
Peter:          We should find something for her to do here.
Padraig:        We should find something for us  to do here!
Assumpta:       Like what?
Peter:          Something as mad as all that other stuff.  
Assumpta:       You can't surf in the Angel.
Peter:          Do we know anyone who does canoeing?
Assumpta:       No.
Peter:          Shame.
Liam:           Has she been hang-gliding?
Peter:          You don't hang-glide.
Liam:           I know.  Just a thought.

Donal's mind is working overtime.

Donal:          You should take her up the Sugarloaf.
Tony:           The what?
Assumpta:       It's a mountain.
Padraig:        Don't be stupid, Donal, he can't get that thing up a
Peter:          Watch it Padraig, Tony's a dangerous man to bet with.
Padraig:        No, we'll help you get it up there, if you want.
Tony:           I don't know.  A mountain?
Assumpta:       More of a very big hill, really.
Peter:          It'd be original.
Liam:           It'd be insanity.
Assumpta:       You're one to talk.
Peter:          I think we should do it.  Just do something
                spontaneous.  We could make a big trip of it, you
                know, a community thing.
Assumpta:       It's not a bad idea.
Peter:          Thanks Assumpta.
Tony:           Okay, let's do it.

Brendan walks in again, still very upset about Siobhan.  Peter
looks over and sees him, then goes over to join him.

Peter:          Hiya.  Have you had a talk with Siobhan yet?
Brendan:        It wasn't a good time.
Peter:          The only way you're going to make things better is by
                talking about it.
Brendan:        Can't you?
Peter:          It's not my problem.
Brendan:        You don't care?
Peter:          Of course I care, I just think it's you that needs to
                talk to her.
Brendan:        I just need to know what she things before I try to
                talk her round.  Please, Peter.
Peter:          Oh... alright.  Just don't expect any miracles.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Peter has just knocked on Siobhan's door.  She appears at the

Siobhan:        Am I in for a lecture?
Peter:          No.  I could if you want me to, but no.  It's an 
                invitation actually.
Siobhan:        I'm not really up to parties at the moment.
Peter:          It's not a party.  It's a chance to do something
                completely spontaneous.
Siobhan:        I think I've already done that.
Peter:          We're all going up the sugarloaf with a fridge.
Siobhan:        What?
Peter:          It's a long story and I've got loads of people to
                invite.  How's Aisling?
Siobhan:        Asleep... which is rare.
Peter:          Brendan said...
Siobhan:        I can imagine what he said.
Peter:          I don't think you can.  He's really hurt, Siobhan.
                All he wants is to be able to see his daughter.  I 
                think you two should talk.
Siobhan:        Peter, no offence, but...
Peter:          I know it's none of my business, but you're my
                friends.  I don't like to see Brendan like that... or
                you.  You look tired.  Brendan doesn't expect to move
                in with you or anything like that.  Just let him
                support you and Aisling... Anyway, if you fancy the
                trip, we're all meeting at Fitzgerald's at 9
Siobhan:        Okay, I'll see how I feel.
Peter:          Okay, see you soon.

Peter leaves and Siobhan goes upstairs to check on Aisling.

Scene:  Int. Day.
Niamh and Ambrose's.  Niamh has just come off the phone and goes
into the office with Kieran.

Niamh:          D'you fancy a walk tomorrow?
Ambrose:        A walk?  Where?
Niamh:          The Sugarloaf.  Assumpta and Peter are organising a
                big walk.  Everyone's going.  With a fridge.
Ambrose:        A what?
Niamh:          There's some mad hitchhiker who's going round Ireland
                with a fridge and they're going to take it up the
Ambrose:        That's a stupid idea.
Niamh:          No it's not.  It's fun, spontaneous.  You used to be
Ambrose:        That was before I had to work to support a wife and
Niamh:          Ah, come on.  Take time off.  It'll be fun.
Ambrose:        It won't.  It'll be cold, wet and boring.
Niamh:          And you'd rather be issuing parking tickets?
Ambrose:        It's my job, Niamh.
Niamh:          So that's it, is it?
Ambrose:        Yes.
Niamh:          (to Kieran)  Let's leave your boring old daddy to it,
                shall we.

She slams the door behind her.

Scene:  Int.  Eve.
Fitzgerald's.  Assumpta is rounding up more people for the fridge
walk.  There are posters up on the wall which read: 'The most 
unique experience of your life - up the Sugarloaf with The Fridge
Man!  She's on the phone to Niamh.  Brian walks in and stands
by the bar.

Assumpta:       Ah, come on...   Kieran won't be a problem, we'll all
                help... It wouldn't be the same without you.  You'll
                come?  What about Ambrose?  Ah, well, okay.  I'll see
                you tomorrow then. Okay, bye.
Brian:          What's going on?
Assumpta:       Ah, there's this English bloke who's hitching round
                Ireland with a fridge, for a bet.  
Brian:          Is that the fella who's been all over the radio for
                the last few weeks?
Assumpta:       That's the one.
Brian:          He's here?
Assumpta:       Yep.  Peter gave him a lift from Cildargan.  He's
                staying here for a few days.
Brian:          In this place?
Assumpta:       Yes.  Problem?
Brian:          Where is he?

Assumpta points in the direction of a table, where Tony and a few
locals are discussing his adventure.  Brian goes over and interrupts.

Brian:          Excuse me, are you the fridge man?
Tony:           For my sins... and you are?
Brian:          (handing over a business card)  Brian Quigley,
                Quigley Enterprises.  I might be able to throw a few
                doors open for you.  Will you have a drink?
Tony:           Em, yeah, thanks, another pint, please.
Brian:          Great, let's talk business.

Tony wasn't aware they had any business to talk about, but he follows Brian to the bar.

Brian:          Assumpta, a pint and my usual, when you're ready.
Assumpta:       (to Tony)  Don't let him talk you into anything.

Tony smiles and acknowledges Assumpta's advice.

Brian:          Don't listen to her.  I have a very nice house out of
                town.  You're welcome to stay with me... I have a
Tony:           Ah, well, actually, I prefer staying in pubs... less 
                of a distance to stumble home after a night of Irish
Brian:          In this place, are you joking?  
Tony:           Honestly, it's fine.
Brian:          Right.  Fair enough.  

Scene:  Int. Eve.
Niamh and Ambrose's house.  
Niamh shuts Kieran's bedroom door quietly and goes into the 
kitchen, where Ambrose is making a cup of coffee.

Niamh:          Why don't you come on this walk tomorrow?
Ambrose:        We've been through all this.  I'm tired, I have a
                mountain of paperwork to catch up on and I'm going to
                have to stay up all night getting it done.  The last
                thing I need is to drag myself up a mountain tomorrow
Niamh:          You've got no sense of adventure, that's the problem.
Ambrose:        I have, I just also have responsibilities.  I have to
                do this work.  You'd be tired too if you did as much
                work as this.
Niamh:          Are you suggesting I don't have anything to do all
Ambrose:        No, I just...
Niamh:          You have no idea, do you?
Ambrose:        I do.  Look, if you wanted someone who was going to
                climb mountains with you and a fridge, why on earth
                did you marry me?
Niamh:          I'm beginning to wonder.  Look after your son.

Niamh walks out.

Scene:  Int. Eve.
Fitzgerald's.  Brian is still trying to talk Tony into some kind
of deal.

Brian:          Well, I'm sure I could find a few business deals I
                could interest you in, sponsorship, ad campaigns...
Tony:           I'm not doing this as a publicity stunt.
Brian:          No, I realise that...  It's just that I have these
                holiday homes I'm building which could do with a
                story like yours to publicise them.
Tony:           I'm sorry, I really don't think I can help you.

Assumpta's overheard most of this and approaches, puts the drinks
on the bar and turns to Brian.

Assumpta:       Leave him alone Brian.  You can't talk everyone into
                your little deals, you know.

Brian looks very put out, downs his whiskey and walks out, nearly
bumping into Peter who has just returned from Siobhan's.  He
watches Brian leave, then goes over to the bar and kisses 

Peter:          What's going on?
Assumpta:       Just Brian trying to rope Tony in for a bit of
Peter:          Right.
Tony:           I think I'll turn in for the night before I get roped
                into the washing up.
Peter:          Night.
Assumpta:       Night Tony.

He gets up and goes upstairs.

Assumpta:       How'd you get on?  
Peter:          Not too bad.  If she doesn't turn up tomorrow, I'll
                go round again and drag her out.
Assumpta:       The subtle approach?
Peter:          That's the one.  Has Brendan been back?
Assumpta:       No, why?
Peter:          Just wondered.  He wasn't at his house.
Assumpta:       Well, you can find him in the morning.  Let's get rid
                of this lot.  I need some sleep if we're going to do
                        this hike.

Peter walks through to the bar and rings the hand bell.

Peter:          Time, ladies and gentlemen... and don't forget, meet
                here at 9 tomorrow if you're going to join us and
                Tony the Fridge Man for the Sugarloaf walk.

People begin to leave and Peter starts clearing up.  Just as
Assumpta is about to lock the doors, Niamh comes over, obviously

Peter:          Niamh?  What's the problem?
Niamh:          Why do you assume... does there have to be a problem
                for me to be able to talk to Assumpta now?
Peter:          No, I just...
Assumpta:       Niamh, come into the kitchen.
Niamh:          No, I wouldn't want to interrupt anything.
Assumpta:       You're not.
Niamh:          No, it's okay.  I'll see you tomorrow.
Assumpta:       Are you sure?
Niamh:          Yeah, really.
Assumpta:       Okay.  

Niamh leaves.

Assumpta:       (to Peter)  What did you have to go and do that for?
Peter:          What?
Assumpta:       Be so insensitive.
Peter:          Me?
Assumpta:       She was upset.
Peter:          I know, that's why I asked...
Assumpta:       She didn't come to talk to you, she came to talk to
                me.  Just keep your nose out next time.
Peter:          Sorry.
Assumpta:       So you should be.

Assumpta storms out into the kitchen and leaves Peter standing at
the bar.  He throws down a tea towel, unlocks the doors and 

Scene:  Ext.  Eve.
Brendan's house.  One downstairs light is on.  There is a knock 
at the door.  Brendan opens it to find Peter standing by the 

Peter:          Can I come in?
Brendan:        Sure.

Scene:  Int. Eve
Brendan's kitchen.  Brendan is making coffee for himself and 
Peter.  Peter is still obviously upset and Brendan seems 
depressed too.

Brendan:        What's happened?
Peter:          Huh?
Brendan:        Assumpta excerpting her authority again?

Peter barely nods.

Peter:          I don't know.  I thought it was going really well...
                considering.  We were getting on perfectly... then...
Brendan:        What happened.
Peter:          We had a row.
Brendan:        Yeah, well, I guessed that much.

Brendan hands him a cup of coffee and they sit down at the 
kitchen table.

Peter:          She accused me of being insensitive.
Brendan:        You?!
Peter:          Yeah, I know... I thought she loved me.
Brendan:        Just because you have one row doesn't mean it's all
                over.  She does love you, but look at it from her
                point of view.
Peter:          How d'you mean?
Brendan:        She's been on her own in that pub for years and all
                of a sudden she's got you there as well, it's bound
                to take a bit of getting used to.
Peter:          You think I'm monopolising her time?
Brendan:        You're getting married, you need to be together...
                just let her have her space sometimes.

Peter considers this advice and changes the subject.

Peter:          Are you coming on this walk tomorrow?
Brendan:        What walk?
Peter:          You remember Tony and his fridge?
Brendan:        In the pub earlier? Yeah.
Peter:          We're taking him and the fridge up the Sugarloaf.
                Everyone's coming.
Brendan:        Siobhan?
Peter:          Maybe, I don't know.
Brendan:        I don't think that's such a good idea.  
Peter:          If she's there, Aisling'll be there.
Brendan:        She won't want to see me.
Peter:          Maybe she just needs time to think about how it's
                going to be.
Brendan:        Space?  D'you think we should get her and Assumpta
Peter:          Just talk to her, Brendan.  She won't be able to work
                and look after Aisling on her own, not in her job.
                She'll need someone to look after her at least.
Brendan:        So I'm a babysitter now?
Peter:          That's not what I mean.
Brendan:        Sounds that way.
Peter:          No, but if you really want to see your daughter, you
                might have to put up with whatever time you can get
                with her, at least until Siobhan works out what she
Brendan:        Why is this all about what Siobhan wants?  Why not me
                for a change?  I am her father.
Peter:          Yeah but Siobhan's got the trump cards here.  You
                need to talk. 
Brendan:        Never thought I'd see us sitting here talking about
                our women problems.

Peter half-smiles and finishes his coffee.

Peter:          I'd better get back.  You'll think about tomorrow?
Brendan:        I'll think about it.
Peter:          Good.

Peter gets up to leave.


Scene:  Int. Eve.
Fitzgerald's.  Assumpta's light is on, but Peter discovers that
the doors are locked.

Peter:          Assumpta?  Assumpta, let me in.

Kathleen is walking her dog and stops and stares at Peter.  He 
turns round, sees her and gives a halfhearted, embarrassed smile.
She walks on.

Peter:          Assumpta!

Assumpta appears at the bedroom window.

Assumpta:       What?
Peter:          You've locked the front doors.
Assumpta:       Oh for heavens sake.

She closes the window and we hear her come downstairs and unlock
the door.  Peter goes in and locks the doors behind him.
Assumpta starts back up the stairs again.

Peter:          I'm sorry.

Assumpta pretends not to hear him.

Peter:          I'm sorry you haven't had much time to yourself
                recently, and I'm sorry I upset Niamh...
Assumpta:       We'll talk about it in the morning.
Peter:          Will you at least tell me what I've done?

There is no answer.  Assumpta goes back upstairs and Peter 
collapses into the chair by the fire.  He gazes around the room 
for a while trying to work out what's going wrong.  He doesn't 
notice Tony coming down the stairs.

Tony:           Problems?
Peter:          Sorry, did we wake you up?
Tony:           No, you're alright.  D'you want to talk about it?
Peter:          I don't know... I spend all this time and effort
                sorting out other people's problems, then I can't
                figure out my own.
Tony:           It's always like that.
Peter:          Oh God, I hope not.  Everything was going so well.
Tony:           You'll work it out... I would.  Seems like perfection
                to me - a beautiful woman, and you live in a pub.
Peter:          I know, what more could you ask for?  Assumpta's just
                a bit on the fiery side sometimes.
Tony:           I assume you knew that before you got into this.
Peter:          Yeah... She was always so defensive, then there were
                just a few times when I felt like I'd really got
                close to her.  A couple of times we ended up on our
                own, in here, after closing and she'd open up and
                talk about things I didn't think she'd ever
                even think about.  She'd cut out all the sarcasm and
                just say what she thought.
Tony:           That's what made you fall for her?
Peter:          How could you not fall for her?    ...oh, I've got to
                stop feeling sorry for myself.  I'll sort it out
                tomorrow.  You'd better get some sleep.  You're going to
                be the centre of attention tomorrow.
Tony:           You sure you're okay?
Peter:          Yeah, fine.  Thanks.

Tony goes back upstairs, while Peter stares at the fire for a 
while longer.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
A huge number of people are waiting at the doors of Fitzgerald's.
Padraig, Kevin and Niamh are among the crowd.  
Most have their own cars, but the minibus is there too.  Assumpta
and Peter come out of the pub, with Tony and the fridge behind 
them.  There are cheers from the crowd when they see the man and 
his fridge.  Peter puts Fionn in the back of the van and everyone
heads towards their cars.  Peter looks around for Brendan, but 
can't see him.  Siobhan has turned up, in the Land Rover, with 
Aisling in the car seat.  Peter goes over to her.

Peter:          Nice to see you Siobhan.
Siobhan:        Well, I still have to get out.

Peter smiles and goes back to the van.

The cars start off, the minibus last.  Just as the minibus starts
over the bridge, Brendan comes running down the hill and takes 
the last seat in the minibus.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
As the convoy of cars makes it's way through the county, we see a 
montage of the scenery they pass on the way.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Assumpta's van.  Total cold silence.  Peter stares out of the 
window at the passing scenery.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
Another montage, as the cars approach the bottom of the 
Sugarloaf.  Everyone gets out and Tony attaches the fridge to the
trailer.  Assumpta and Peter trail behind a bit, keeping an eye 
on Siobhan and Brendan, who are at least speaking to each other, 
which is more than can be said for Peter and Assumpta.  

Brendan:        I don't expect to move in with you or anything.
Siobhan:        Glad to hear it.
Brendan:        All I want is to be able to see her whenever it's
Siobhan:        It's a tiring job, being a Mum... I do need some 
Brendan:        So let me help.
Siobhan:        I don't want to be dependent on you.
Brendan:        You won't be.  I just want to look after her every so
                often, just have contact with her.
Siobhan:        And I don't want you letting me down.  I don't want
                you losing interest.
Brendan:        I won't.  This is my daughter we're talking about,
                not some new hobby.
Siobhan:        Okay.  Whenever you like, just... I need my own 
Brendan:        I'll leave when you tell me to.

Peter has dropped back from the main crowd and is watching 
Assumpta as she talks to Niamh

Assumpta:       So, he had work to do, what's the problem?
Niamh:          It's not just that... He's become so boring.
Assumpta:        Ambrose was always boring.
Niamh:          Assumpta!
Assumpta:       Okay, sorry.
Niamh:          I just want him to be a bit more spontaneous, like he
                was when we first started going out.
Assumpta:       You can't teach him to be spontaneous.  
Niamh:          He says he has other responsibilities.
Assumpta:       He does.  He's got Kieran to think about now.
Niamh:          What about me?
Assumpta:       You've got other responsibilities too.
Niamh:          Are you saying I'm boring?
Assumpta:       No, of course not.  I'm just saying things have moved
                on since you two first started seeing each other.
                You're bound to have changed.  
Niamh:          We're different people.
Assumpta:       Niamh, don't say that.
Niamh:          It's true.

Ambrose runs up the mountain behind Niamh and taps her on the
shoulder.  She spins round.

Niamh:          Ambrose!  You came.
Ambrose:        I finished the paperwork early.  Thought I'd come out
                for a walk with my family.

Niamh smiles and Assumpta drops back towards Peter.

Peter:          Can we talk about it now?
Assumpta:       What?
Peter:          Last night.  I'm s...
Assumpta:       If you say 'I'm sorry' one more time...
Peter:          I am.
Assumpta:       I was a complete bitch last night....
Peter:          No you weren't.
Assumpta:       I was.  Don't argue with me.
Peter:          Okay.
Assumpta:       It's just been difficult readjusting to having
                someone else around the place.  I'm not used to it. 
                I know it really upset you and it wasn't fair on you.

She stops, turns and kisses him.

Assumpta:       Sorry.

He takes her hand.

Peter:          So what do we do?
Assumpta:       I have to put a bit more effort in.  It's nothing
                you've done.  You make things easer for me, but
                maybe... maybe I just like things to be difficult.
Peter:          Why?
Assumpta:       Make a martyr of myself?  I don't know.  I'm just not
                very good at having other people help me unless I'm
                paying them to work for me.
Peter:          Well, you can pay me if it'd make you feel better.
Assumpta:       Don't you think that'd get people talking?
Peter:          Oh yeah.  A bit, I suppose.
Assumpta:       Anyway, I can't afford you.  No, I'll just have to
                break the habit of a lifetime and you'll have to
                forgive me if I'm less than appreciative.
Peter:          Deal.

Peter:          Have you thought about the wedding much recently?
Assumpta:       What wedding?
Peter:          Ours!
Assumpta:       Yeah, of course I have.  Why?
Peter:          Just thinking.
Assumpta:       About what?
Peter:          I'll tell you later.
Assumpta:       No, come on, tell me now.
Peter:          No, leave it until later.

Assumpta gives him a sideways glance and gives up.  Peter walks
 on a bit to catch up with Tony.

Tony:           Hi.  Sorted things out?
Peter:          Yeah... actually, I'm a bit confused.
Tony:           Why?
Peter:          Assumpta Fitzgerald just apologised.

Peter bounds on up the mountain towards Brendan.  Tony drops back
a bit to talk to Assumpta.

Tony:           You two seem to have worked it out then.
Assumpta:       What did he say about it?
Tony:           We talked last night, when he came in.  He was really
Assumpta:       I know.
Tony:           I realise I'm probably telling you things you already
                know, but he does love you.
Assumpta:       I know he does.
Tony:           Good.  I'd hate to see anything happen to you and
                Peter.  You make a good couple.

Assumpta smiles.

Assumpta:       Thanks.

Scene:  Ext. Day.
At the top of the mountain, everyone is resting before starting 
the journey back down the mountain.  Brendan takes a photo of the
whole crowd with Tony and the fridge, then Peter clears his 

Peter:          While we're all here, I'd like to invite you all to a
Assumpta:       What?
Peter:          May the 1st.
Assumpta:       Hang on...
Peter:          I checked the diary.  We haven't got anything else to
                do, so I thought we might as well get married.

There is anticipation as the assembled crowd waits for Assumpta's

Assumpta:       Oh for... yes, okay, just stop making a fool of

Peter smiles and there is mixed laughter and applause from the
assembled crowd.

Peter takes Assumpta to one side.

Peter:          Are you sure that's okay?
Assumpta:       Someone had to set the date.
Peter:          Well, exactly... I know we've still got a lot of
                things to sort out, but it gives us something to aim
                for, doesn't it?
Assumpta:       As long as it happens, I don't care.

They move back to join the others.

Tony:           Well, I'm going to head down this side of the
                mountain, pick up the road on the other side...
Peter:          Don't you need your bags and stuff?

Tony opens the fridge and reveals his bag inside.  Peter nods.

Tony:           I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to the
                wedding, but Saiorse and I'll give it our best shot.
Peter:          Thanks.  You take care.
Tony:           You too...  (he whispers to Peter) and keep hold of
Peter:          Will do.  Send my love to the Wombles.
Tony:           Okay...

He kisses Assumpta's cheek.

Tony:           ... thanks for putting me up.
Assumpta:       No problem.

Tony begins his walk down the side of the mountain.


*'Mo Chuisneoir' is Gaelic for 'My fridge'.
*(pronounced Seer-sha meaning freedom)

This script was inspired by the book 'Round Ireland With A Fridge' 
by Tony Hawks, whose 'brilliant madness' could fit in so easily in BallyK!

'Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them;
Quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilifythem.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They Invent,
They Imagine,
They heal,
They explore,
They create,
They inspire,
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
While some people see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.'
- Apple Computer inc.