© Anna H. Shock
Based on characters created by Dan Curtis for the TV show Dark Shadows. Dark Shadows © Dan Curtis Productions
Originally published in "Victoria Winters: A Dark Shadows Anthology," 1993
New York, 1957
Victoria Winters ran sobbing to the rusty, blue station wagon waiting for her, the taunts of the children fresh in her mind.
"Vicki, what's the matter?" Ms. Edwards asked, her pale grey eyes reflecting the young girl's sadness.
Vicki threw her arms around the orphanage counselor. "The other kids all hate me, " she sobbed. "They keep making fun of me and calling me weird because I don't have any parents." Victoria buried her head into Ms. Edwards shoulder. "They say no one wants me and I'll never have a mother or father. Is that true?" Victoria looked up at Gloria Edwards, her red-streaked, swollen eyes gleaming with fresh tears.
Gloria's heart ached for this child. Victoria had been passed over four time for adoption. And now that she was 11 years old, it was hard to envision her being adopted by anyone. Vicki was still one of the gentlest and sweetest children she had met in years. How Gloria wished she could help the girl. "Vicki, the other kids make fun of you only because they don't understand, that's all," Gloria said softly. "Sometimes if people don't understand something they would rather ignore it than try to understand it."
Vicki's eyes grew puzzled. "You mean they are just as confused as I am?"
"Yes, that's right, Vicki, and instead of trying to figure it out, they make fun of it."
Vicki didn't know exactly what Gloria meant but she was encouraged by the soothing tone of the message. "But is it true, I'll never be adopted?"
Ms Edwards shifted slightly behind the steering wheel. "Vicki, I really don't know, but there is always hope."
Vicki sighed and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her faded blue coat.
"Now cheer up," Ms. Edwards said. "We're having you're favorite tonight: hamburgers and French fries."
Victoria smiled slightly as she looked at the middle-aged woman who had become like a parent to her.
Collinwood, 1967
The image of Gloria Edwards' kind, smooth face lingered in Victoria's mind. She looked down again at the telegram in her shaking hands. She couldn't move; her mind refused to accept the news.
Vicki's employer, Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, entered the drawing room and glanced at Victoria. "Vicki," she said, her voice reflecting concern, "are you all right? Has something happened?"
Vicki looked at at the dark-haired woman blankly and handed the yellow paper to her. Elizabeth took it and read quickly:
TO: VICTORIA WINTERS, COLLINSPORT, MAINE
FROM: MRS. HOPEWELL, DIRECTOR, HAMMOND FOUNDLING HOME, NEW YORK
REGRET TO INFORM YOU MS. EDWARDS HAS PASSED AWAY (STOP)
FUNERAL IS TOMORROW (STOP)
PLEASE CALL (STOP)
Elizabeth folded the message and held it in her hands. "Vicki, obviously, Ms. Edwards was very important to you. Who was she?"
Victoria blinked and lifted her eyes upward to meet Liz's. "For the longest time, she was the only mother I ever knew." Victoria let her tears flow now as Mrs. Stoddard moved forward to comfort her.
New York, 1962
"Ms. Edwards! Ms. Edwards!" Victoria's long, gleaming black hair trailed behind her as she ran excitedly into the foundling home, heading straight for her favorite counselor's officer. She couldn't think of anyone else she wanted to share this news with except her best friend Sandy. Sandy, another resident of the orphanage, would know soon enough. Ms. Edwards needed to know now. Vicki stopped short in front. of Ms. Edwards door and knocked urgently.
"Come in," was the call from the other side.
Ms. Edwards sat comfortably behind her heavy oak desk, with file folders and papers piled high before her. Her golden hair was pulled back in a bun which accented her delicate features. "Victoria, what is your hurry? You're out of breath!"
"I'm sorry, Ms. Edwards," Vicki gasped between gulps of air, " but something wonderful happened." With that Vicki started spinning and dancing around the room. Ms. Edwards smiled and urged her to continue. "Well, when I went to school today, Billy Mahoney asked me to the Valentines Day Dance. can you believe it?"
Gloria's pale grey eyes lit up. "That's the boy you really like, right?"
Victoria started to rattle on like the typical teenager she was. "Yes! Sandy heard from Tommy, who heard from Charlie, who heard from Kim, who heard from Billy that he liked me! Then Sandy told John, who told Scott, who told Steve, who then told Billy that I felt the same way."
Ms. Edwards just rolled her eyes, not even trying to understand the complexity of it all.
"Oh, Ms. Edwards, do you think I can go?"
Ms. Edwards nodded, "I don't see why not."
Vicki came around the desk and hugged her. "I'm so happy!" Vicki gushed.
Seeing Victoria with a smile was gratifying to say the least, but it just made it harder for what Gloria now had to tell her. "Vicki, why don't you sit down? There's something else I have to talk to you about."
Vicki plopped into the leather seat in front of the huge wooden desk. "What is it, Ms. Edwards?" she asked.
"Well, do you remember the checks that have been coming for you every month?"
Victoria sat up rigidly, her full attention on Gloria. The young girl had been receiving a generous check with a postmark of Bangor, Maine, since she had been left at the foundling home. Vicki always believed it might have some connection to the place she came from - the place where she was born. "Did something happen, Ms. Edwards? Has someone come forward? My mother...?" Victoria's voice trailed off because she was suddenly afraid.
"No, there hasn't been anyone coming forward."
Victoria immediately slumped back, clearly disappointed.
Ms. Edwards hesitated a moment but forced herself to continue. "Vicki," she began in a soothing tone, "when your check came today, there was a note attached to it. It was anonymous, of course, but the note said that this would be the last check now that you've reached sixteen."
Victoria looked stunned. She blinked the tears back. "But how will I stay here?"
Ms. Edwards came around the desk and put a reassuring hand on Vicki's. "Don't worry. There's plenty of money. We've always put it away for you and only taken out what you've needed to live on."
Victoria looked up at her with the same puppy dog eyes she had displayed when she was eleven. "Well, that's it. Whoever cared enough to send those checks, doesn't care anymore." Her matter-of-fact tone made Vicki sound much older than she was.
"No Vicki! That's not what this means. I'm sure whoever this is has a good reason for what they are doing." Ms. Edwards looked at Vicki's face and could tell she was unconvinced.
"I don't believe that" Victoria said with brutal honesty. "They really just don't care." Her tears overflowed.
Ms. Edwards bent down and hugged Victoria, "Oh, Vicki, I'm so sorry."
New York, 1967
Mrs. Hopewell stood silently next to Victoria in the somber graveyard which would be the final resting place of Ms. Edwards. Victoria couldn't cry; she felt all cried out. In her hand, Vicki held a red rose - Ms. Edwards' favorite flower. At the end of the ceremony, Victoria carefully stepped up to Gloria's casket and gently dropped the rose onto the gleaming metal box. She whispered goodbye and turned to Mrs. Hopewell who was silently crying. The older woman hugged Victoria.
They stood together in a sad embrace for a few moments, then began along the pathway to the car. Once they were inside, Mrs. Hopwell turned to Vicki. "I'm glad you could come. I have something to give you. Ms. Edwards had it amongst her personal effects. It was intended to be given to you when she passed away. It's an envelope dated June 26, 1966."
Victoria looked surprised. "That's the day before I left for Maine," she said, her voice quivering emotionally.
Yes, she thought, the day before I began my journey-"a journey to link my past with my future." How well Vicki remember writing those words in her diary. But she still had no answers about her past. And she had so hoped she would. The Collinses did treat her like family, but there was still something missing: a true name, a true history. She shrugged the familiar feelings away when the car finally arrived at the orphanage. Seeing the brown brick building brought Victoria instant memories of days and nights spent inside. She helped Mrs. Hopewell up the stairs and both women proceeded toward the main office.
Once settled in the dimly lit room, Mrs. Hopewell reached into her desk and retrieved the letter. "Here it is Victoria. You were always special to her, you know."
Vicki fingered the envelope gingerly, almost afraid to open it. "Mrs. Hopewell, is it all right if I read this in Ms. Edwards' office?" Vicki asked the orphanage director.
"Why of course, Vicki." Mrs. Hopewell searched her pockets and brought out a set of keys. She removed one silver key and handed it to the young woman. "Here you go, and please take all the time you need."
Victoria took the key and thanked the woman. Then she slowly moved down the hallway. She gently traced the outline of Ms. Edwards' name on the door and slipped the key into the lock and opened the door. Flashes from the past bombarded her thoughts. Was it really only a little more than a year ago she sat in this office with Ms. Edwards for the last time? It seemed like ten lifetimes ago. She sighed and sat in the chair in front of Ms. Edwards desk-the chair in which she had spent so many hours during her childhood. Vicki looked at the envelope in her hands.Her name clearly covered the front of it, and the date was just as Mrs. Hopewell said: June 26, 1966.
Vicki cautiously pried open the flap and retrieved the note from inside. She sighed, mustering her courage, and opened it:
Victoria,
I know by the time you read this, I will be gone but there are some things I must tell you. You were always special to me. At times, I wished I was your mother, just so I could stop the pain you were going through.
Vicki, don't give up, your mother is alive. Many years ago I promised her I would watch over you. Someday you will understand why I couldn't tell you more. Follow your heart and instincts. Going to Maine was a wise choice. I wish I could tell you more. Vicki, always remember, I loved you and I will watch you from wherever I am. You were always the warmth in my life. I love you.
Farewell,
Gloria Edwards
Victoria looked up and closed her eyes, the tears too great to stop. Another part of her past was gone. Another person who mattered was gone. And now, Vicki knew that Ms. Edwards had held the key to her past all along. She looked down at the note in her hand, "Farewell, Ms. Edwards." she said aloud. Then she headed out of the office, back to her destiny in Collinsport.