Buffy Withdrawal Syndrome
You begin humming "Macho Man" whenever you see a cheerleader, as if it were a vaguely remembered music box tune you once heard as a small child. You carry around the world's tiniest fence post. Every time someone calls your name, you look up, startled, and say, "Buffy?" Bored out of your gourd by the postingboard, you Yahoo the word "Moloch" just to see what turns up. Time and space become meaningless except when they are rendered in terms of Buffy units. Every time you see a dummy, you automatically think, "Hi You are inordinately disturbed by "Touched by an Angel" jokes made in reference to David Boreanaz. You try to find a newsgroup on the net called "Technopagans" You relate any clichish behavior to hyenas You identify clothes at Bloomingdales as "totally-Buffy" shirts, skirts, etc. You roundhouse to switch on the elevator button to your apartment building. (guilty) You defend the name Buffy to your friends with fervor (it isn't a bimbo's name!!!!) You wonder why Conpiracy Theory didn't mention the group of FBI invisible high schoolers. You sneak the communion wafers home in your pocket every Sunday. You think of Cordelia when you used to think of Heathers. You watch the reruns of Buffy that you have already recorded on videotape on Monday nights- just because it feels right. You believe that true witchcraft must involve barbie dolls Everytime you eat bacon you can't help but think, "Herbie."
You start talking about Buffy to total strangers on the city bus late at night. You introduce all of your brother's and sister's friends to the wonderful world of buffy. You worry yourself sick about what's to come in the next season of buffy. You're on a first name basis with all the actors even though they've never met you. You can act out entire shows, impersonating Buffy, Giles, Angel, ect., making the same gestures, even renacting the fight scenes. Well... turning into dust is pretty hard. You start insulting people just becasue you now have a good vocabulary of insults from watching the pack too many times. You find ways to work in the dialogue from Buffy and other characters, into your own. You tape as many buffy reruns as you can and then have a buffy marathon in which you preceed to watch the entire first season in order..all 12 hours...complete with saying the lines along with the characters. You can act out entire shows, impersonating Buffy, Giles, Angel, ect., making the same gestures, even renacting the fight scenes. Well... turning into dust is pretty hard. Whenever the word "angel" is mentioned in church your thoughts become all but holy thinking of our favorite vampire. You begin humming the tunes of every song from every episode of BtVS at the most innapropriate of times (particularly the "I'll Remember You" song from Angel). You're scared to talk to anyone over the internet in case they turn out to be a demon. All cheerleaders give you the creeps and you carry around your 12th century library book on reversing evil spells, just in case. You kiss the picture of David Boreanaz (from YM) every night before you go to bed. You host "Buffy Parties" where you annoy your friends by playing all the episodes and making them sign elaborate posters you have created to send to the cast. You won't buy a piece of clothing unless you think Buffy would wear it. You are busy writing transcripts from episodes you have on tape so you can read them during school hours. You spend your time sending unfunny statements to Buffy humor pages.