synopsis: "And on that tragic day, an era came to it's inevitable
end. That's all there is, you ready?" Giles is reading from
a text to Buffy as they wait in the graveyard. "Hit me," Buffy says,
and Giles asks...an SAT question. Rather than some ancient curse,
Buffy is studying for the SATs. She's not doing all that well, either.
Giles calls it a "rite of passage," and Buffy asks if it's "too late to
join a tribe where they just pierce something or cut something off?"
A vampire comes up behind Giles, and Buffy slays it without much effort,
using her pencil.
In the Mayor's office, the Wilkins discusses something with Trick. Trick assures him that he knows a guy who can handle the affair, and Wilkins tells him that a demon requires tribute. "That's what separates me from other politicians, Mr. Trick," Wilkins says as he opens his cabinet, revealing all sorts of demonic paraphenalia. "I keep my campaign promises." Taken out a shrunken head, he wonders "where'd I put that scotch?" Credits roll.
Buffy complains about the SATs to Willow and Oz, and Oz offers to help her study. "Oz is the highest scoring person to ever fail to graduate," Willow beams. They meet up with Xander and Cordelia, and tell them about the SATs. Cordelia says she's looking forward to it, because "I do well on standardized tests. What, I can't have layers," she says, off a look.
Buffy complains about how Giles and Joyce are supervising her all the time. They find Snyder giving out candy bars, and he explains that they have to sell it for the band. When Buffy mentions that she's not in the band, Snyder comes back with, "and if I'd handed you a trombone, that would have been a problem, Summers. Sell it."
Buffy talks her mom into buying 20 candy bars, and brings up the driving thing again. Joyce tells her that she already failed the written test, and besides, she's afraid that Buffy will take off again. And Joyce worries about her. She goes off to slay with Giles.
Giles, who has bought the rest of Buffy's candy, blindfolds her and gives her a ball. She's supposed to hit him with it without seeing him. She turns the wrong way, and seemingly throws it completely astray. "See, it's not that simple is–..." Giles is interrupted by the ball hitting him in the head. Buffy had bounced it off the wall at a perfect angle to hit him. She leaves to spend time with her mom, and Giles stutters as she leaves.
In the mansion, Angel is doing tai che (sp?) as Buffy walks in. He tells her that he's feeling better, but he's obviously still weak as he nearly collapses into her arms. Angel asks about Scott, and she lies, saying that he's fine. She gives him some blood. He asks her if she's being careful. She thinks he means Scott, but he means the slayer. He worries, and she does to. He tells her that he's getting stronger, and soon he won't need her. "That will be better," he says.
Buffy is greeted by her mom as she comes in, and apologizes for being late. "You know Giles, all slay, all the time." Just then Giles comes around the corner. Buffy's nailed. Apparently she lied to Willow, too. Joyce thinks she was at the Bronze, and Buffy goes with it. Joyce tells her it was immature, and Giles agrees with her. Buffy says she acting like a child because she's being treated like one, and that she needs to make some of her own decisions. Joyce brings up the running away thing, and Buffy comes back with "I took care of myself." The argument becomes a touch more heated, and Giles comes in with, "all right, come, lets not freak out." Buffy is kinda weirded by his choice of words, and then he suggests she go to bed. "She just drives me crazy. I just want to protect her." Giles and Joyce sit down together, but Giles is slouched, and rather flippant about the situation.
A worker is about to eat some of the candy, when Ethan Rayne comes up behind him. "Trust me, you don't want to eat that."
Buffy and Cordelia are sitting together in Study Hall, but Giles hasn't shown up. Cordelia complains about a philosophy book that she had to pay the fine for, which she said was great for starting conversations with college boys. "Of course, that was BX." At first, Buffy doesn't get it. "Oh, before Xander. Clever." Cordelia smiles at her.
Willow and Xander discuss how the candy is selling really fast, but the conversation becomes pretty much irrelevant, awkward small talk as they start to play footsie with each other. Cordelia turns around suddenly, and Willow and Xander break sharply.
"That big pinhead librarian didn't show up," Snyder complains to another teacher, and older woman, "and I don't want to do it. You do it." The other teacher goes into Study Hall. "Everyone always expects me to do everything around here because I'm the Principal. It's not fair."
The other teacher goes in and tells everyone to pretend they're reading something until they're sure "old commandant Snyder's gone, then we're all out of here!" "Anyone else want to marry Ms. Barton?" Xander asks. "Get in line," replies Cordelia.
Buffy goes to check on Giles, and finds him looking threw some records at his house, and also finds that Joyce is there. They're discussing her, and agree that she's right about her being pulled in both directions, but they need time to work, and Joyce gives Buffy the car. "Think she notices anything?" Joyce asks, and Giles turns around, lighting a cigarette. "No way." Joyce pulls out a bottle of wine.
Buffy is driving with Willow, (and doing a really bad job), explaining how Giles and Joyce decided to ease up. Giles and Joycie, in full Ripper and Joycie mode, meanwhile, are sitting on the floor, smoking and listening to the record player. She asks why they call him Ripper, and he says "wouldn't you like to know." Joycie suggests they watch tv, since she knows how to order pay per view, but Ripper wants to go out and "tear things up a bit."
At the bronze, Dingoes Ate my Baby is playing while some adults are doing shots at the bar. The adults are having a great time dancing close and making fools of themselves. Buffy and Willow come in. "Lets do the Time Warp again," Buffy comments. They run into Ms. Barton, the older lady teacher, who is obviously drunk and keeps calling Willow a tree, and asks for nachos. Just then Snyder comes up, puts his arms around them both, and says "hey, gang, this place is fun city!" and tells them to just call him ‘Snyder.' He comments that Ms. Barton is drunk, is excited because he gets to put it in her next performance review because "I'm the Principal!" Buffy hopes there's a doctor there, and just them a shirtless man dives off the stage. "I think that is my doctor. He's usually less...topless," Willow tells her. Snyder brags about his commendation from the Mayor, and then goes to chase after some foxy ladies. Buffy tells Willow that "they're acting like a bunch of us."
Ethan and Trick walk thru the factory, discussing how well the sales are going. Trick breaks a worker's neck for sampling the product, and Ethan looks a little pained, and Trick tells him that it will make sure no one samples the product. Ethan looks less than happy about working with Trick.
Buffy, Willow, and Oz watch the adults party, and Snyder tell Buffy that she has great hair. A group of middle aged men sing "Louie Louie" on stage, (poorly, I might add,) and Buffy comments that "no vampire has ever been that scary." A fight breaks out, and the group leaves–with Snyder following. Snyder demands they wait up and gets in the car.
Two men in sensible cars begin drag racing, as a post man reads thru the mail and a bunch of other adults play on the playground. Oz says that "even if he's 16, he's still Giles, right? He's probably a pretty together guy." "Giles at 16? Less ‘together guy', more ‘bad magic hates the world ticking time bomb guy,'" Buffy tells them.
Ripper and Joycie are walking along, arm and arm, and Joycie tells him that that whole "getting married and having a kid" thing was just a dream. She sees a coat she likes in the window of a closed store, so Ripper, after tossing his cigarette, smashes the window and takes the coat and a hat for himself. "Oh Ripper, wow that was so brave." Just then a cop pulls a gun on them.
Buffy, Willow, Oz, and Snyder drive along, and Snyder wants to "do doughnuts in the football field. They cross paths with a drag racer, who slams into the side of their car...
Ripper mocks the cop, and then beats him up and takes the gun. "You are so cool," Joycie tells him, and the two start kissing on the hood of the police car.
Everyone's okay at the accident site, but the other driver runs off. Buffy realizes that something else is wrong–everyone is defenseless, but there aren't any vampires around. Someone steals Snyder's candy bar, and his reaction reveals to Buffy that the candy is behind it. She demands Snyder tells her where he got it, but he says "it came thru the school board. If you knew that croud..." Buffy tells Willow and Oz to get Xander and Cordelia and look stuff up, while she and "ratboy" go to find the candy.
Some guys are throwing the candy to the crowd when Buffy and Snyder get there. Snyder walks to the candy, but Buffy is stopped by the sight of her mom and Ripper making out. She confronts them, and Ripper tries to get her away, but Buffy asks if he wants to fight her. Buffy tries to get her to go home, but Joycie wants more candy, and when Buffy tells her no she says "screw you. I want candy. You wanna slay stuff and I can't do anything about it. Well this is what I wanna do so get off my back." Buffy even points out the car, but Joycie is upset because she actually bought the "geek machine." Buffy tells Ripper to take Joycie home, and walks towards the candy. Ripper and Joycie follow.
Buffy beats up the guys handing out the candy, and she goes into the factory with Joycie. Ripper and Snyder follow, and encounter Ethan. Ethan tells the person on the phone to hurry, and then runs.
Cordelia tells Willow about her parents. Xander comment how the candy that made everyone act really immature didn't affect him at all, but realizes what he's saying and shuts up. He hands Willow a book, and their hands meet. The have a moment, and then he runs back upstairs. Willow is just as wigged, and Cordelia asks her if she wants to swap. Willow jumps, but Cordelia means books.
Buffy and Ripper chase after Ethan, who continues to run thru the boxes of candy. He seems to have gotten away, but Buffy finds him hiding in a wooden box. Joycie and Snyder are sitting together, and Snyder asks if she and Ripper are "going steady."
Ethan pretty much gives Buffy all the info she needs. He tells her that he's a diversion, and that the vampires are after a tribute that's really big, but he doesn't know where Trick is. Buffy asks what the tribute is.
In the hospital, four vampires come in and each take a screaming infant...
Buffy relates then info to Willow, while Snyder taunts Ethan about getting whipped by Buffy, and then shows off his tai quon do skills. Ethan moves to hit Buffy with a crowbar, but Ripper pulls the cops gun and Buffy knocks him out. Willow finds what she's looking for–Larconis, the demon, eats babies. Buffy is about to leave, and Joycie asks about Ethan. Buffy asks for something to tie him up with, and Joycie gives her a pair of handcuffs. "Never tell me."
They get to the hospital, but the babies are gone. Ripper does remember that Larconis lives in the sewers. Joycie worries about the baby, but Snyder doesn't want to go down there. Ripper calls him a ponce and they almost fight, but Buffy breaks it up, tells them she needs real grownup help, and pretty much yells at them. "Sorry." "We'll be good," Ripper and Joycie say. Buffy tells Snyder to go home, and tells Ripper they're going to the sewers. Ripper and Joycie start to kiss again. "And don't do that."
The ritual is beginning, while Trick and Wilkins observe. Some vampires anoint the babies with blood, and Trick is clearly getting board. Wilkins calls his secretary and tells her to have the public works check on some exposed gas lines in the sewers, as Buffy drops in. Wilkins makes good his escape as Buffy takes on the vampires while Joycie and Ripper get the babies to safety. Buffy takes out two of the vampires, and knocks another one into a pool of water. (The fourth one mysteriously vanishes.) Suddenly Lurconis, a giant snake, arrives and eats the vampire in the pool. Trick decides he's gotta fight Buffy himself, but Ripper attacks him. Trick throws Ripper into the pool, but when Lurconis shows his face Buffy pulls out a gas line and shoots it at Lurconis through a torch like a flame thrower. Larconis is consumed by the fires and dies. "You and me, girl! There's hard times ahead!" Trick tells her as he leaves.
Joycie wants to go home, and Buffy remembers the SATs. Joycie tells her to blow them off but Buffy decides she'd better not.
Wilkins is telling Trick how things didn't work out quite right, but Trick tells him that he has one less demon to pay tribute to, so he kinda did him a favor. The mayor tells Trick "in the future, I'd be very careful how many favors you do for me."
Snyder meets Xander, Willow, Oz, and Cordelia in the hall, back in full Principal Snyder mode, and recruits them to remove the "kiss rocks" graffiti on the lockers.
Buffy is telling Giles "it's just too much to deal with. The things I thought I understood were gone. I felt so...alone." "Was that the math or the verbal?" Giles asks her. "Mostly the math." Giles tells her she can take them again, but Buffy certainly doesn't want to. Joyce arrives, and comments on the car, which Buffy is paying for on the installment plan. "Hey, the way things were going, be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you actually did something," she says, and walks away. Giles and Joyce avoid making eye contact. "Right," "indeed," "yes," they say to each other, and then quickly walk away.
