Ivy: Argh! How can you ever be a woman of action in this dress?!

Carmen: Hmm...now where is Mason Dixon with that historical sofa...What?
Mason Dixon: I'm sorrier than a sinner in a Sunday school, Carmen! Forgive me!
Ante Bellum: They're onto us! Carmen, somebody, get me out of here!
Carmen: I'll deal with you later, Mason. Now stay put until I clean up your mess! Ugh, you've blown my whole caper!

Player: Traveling through time to play tricks on me, eh Carmen? What are you up to?
Mason Dixon: I'm in charge now, Player. Fun and game time is over. Where on Earth is Mason Dixon?

Zack: Quick, give me your coat!
Carmen: My coat? Who are you?

Carmen: Wait here.
Zack: Ivy, this is great! She's actually taken us inside Mason Dixon's secret headquarters!
Mason Dixon: How dare you bring complete strangers into my headquarters!
Carmen: I'm telling you, Mr. Dixon! They are two very sharp criminals who helped me get away from the police!
Zack: Ivy, he's checking to see if we really have arrest records.
Mason Dixon: Well, what do you know. These two hoodlums are pretty nasty kind, Carmen.
Ivy: Chief thinks of everything.

Carmen: That's Mason's target.
Zack: And what's the plan?
Carmen: Plan? Well, I have to plan on getting caught. I almost always get caught.
Zack: Man, she is really going to need our help if she's gonna build up her confidence to ever take over VILE again, Ivy.
Carmen: Blasted! There are too many guards!
Ivy: Trust us, Carmen. Careful planning is the key to success.
Zack: Yeah. We have an old...uh...acquaintance who's a master at this. We'll show you all her best tricks.

Zack: Why would he steal a wagonload of shoes?

Zack: Carmen, where's the sub?
Carmen: Oh, Mason arrived and took it. Why?
Zack: Because we think he's trying to change the outcome of the Civil War!
Ivy: We have to stop him!
Carmen: Stop him? We can't!
Ivy: Carmen, think! If the South wins, the United States would remain two completely separate countries!
Zack: Slavery would still be legal!
Ivy: All of history from the Civil War forward would change!
Zack: Just because Mason Dixon hasn't thought this through!
Carmen: Well, then if we're gonna stop him, we need a plan.
Ivy: I like the way you're starting to think, Carmen.

Mason Dixon: Come founder, Yankees!
Ivy: Mason! Don't attack the Monitor!
Mason Dixon: Stay out of the way! This is between me and that Union ironclad!
Zack: The Hunley was sunk by its own torpedo!
Ivy: You've got to abandon ship!
Mason Dixon: No! No! What are you doing? Let me go!
Mason Dixon, Zack, Ivy: Whoa!
Mason Dixon: My greatest crime ever will not be ruined! The South will rise! I'm gonna use my time machine to bring back a nuclear sub and finish this war right!
Carmen: Things might've been different if I had been the one who ended up in charge of VILE.
Mason Dixon: Get me ashore!
Carmen: Once when Mason and I were trying to steal a Rembrandt in Amsterdam, I got caught and sent to prison. Mason got away and went on to run VILE. Simple twist of fate, I guess.
Zack: That's it! That's the same thing Mason said back at Appomatox!

Carmen: What's going on?
Ivy: Mason changed history to become head of VILE, Carmen!
Zack: You have to meld with your past incarnation and get history to play out the way it's supposed to! Come on!

Carmen: Mason, this way. Follow me.
Mason Dixon: Forget it, Carmen. That's where the cops are.

Zack: Stop him! Before he gets into the time machine!
Mason Dixon: What in blazes! Let me go!
Ivy: Woohoo! We did it! We stopped him and got history back on track, little bro!
Zack: That means the shoes at Gettysburg and the Hunley submarine are all back where they belong in time!
Chief: Now, go catch Carmen! Fetch! And you're going back to jail, Mason! Hey, hey, check it out! I'm on the web! Nice website! [FILE MISSING]

Player: Okay, so maybe we didn't catch you in the end, Carmen. But we did foil one of the biggest crimes in history.
Carmen: Well, Mason Dixon's "crimes" deserved to be stopped. And now that I'm in charge of VILE again, things will be back to normal.