Oz Quotes


Second Season

"Well, it involves a feather boa and the theme to A Summer Place. I can't discuss it here."

"Who is that girl?"

"I'm shot! Ya' know, wow! It's odd...and painful."

"That pretty much sums it up."

"Hey, did everybody see that guy just turn to dust?"

"So, do you guys steal weapons from the Army a lot?"

"Sometimes when I'm sitting in class -- you know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen -- I think about kissing you, and it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage."

"Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous, or even the score, or something. And...that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait."

"Uh...arm."

"That's great, Larry, you've really mastered the single entendre."

"Yeah, yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun."

"Oh, don't worry. I mean, they might not look it, but bunnies can really take care of themselves."

"A werewolf in love."

"I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to hit you."

"I think you'd sweat cute blood."

"Okay, I pretty much missed out on some stuff, didn't I? Because this is all making a kind of sense that's... not."

"But we know the world didn't end, 'cause... check it out."

Third Season

"That really never works."

"Is everybody packing?"

"It looks dead. It smells dead. Yet, it's moving around. That's interesting."

"We should figure out what kind of deal this is. I mean, is it a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?"

"Well, a gathering is Brie, mellow song stylings. Shindig - dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage. And hootenanny - choc full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny."

"Perpare to un-couple. Un-couple."

"Now, you both kill vamps, and who can blame you, but I'm wondering about your position on werewolves."

"Just a thought - Poker. Not your game."

"And I'll...go lock myself in a cage."

"We talked, yeah, but it was 'move' free."

"Times up. Rules change."

"The judges will accept that as a 'yes'."

"As Willow goes, so goes my nation."

"They're teenagers. This is a sobering mirror to look into, huh?"

"Somethings happening. Someplace thats else."

"Well, I can see why you'd be upset....That was my sarcastic voice."

"So, Cordelia wished for something? Well, if it was a long, healthy life, she should get her money back."

"Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right?"

(Oz and Xander crash through the ceiling) "We're here to save you."

"Ice is cool. Its water....but its not."

XANDER: Maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell-curse-and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like Slayer Kryptonite.
OZ: Faulty metaphot. Kryptonite kills.
XANDER: You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite which drains Superman of his powers.
OZ: Wrong. The gold kryptonites the power sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman in some sort of..

"Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords."

"That was sort of an anti-climax."

"I don't know -- I usually enjoy lame, but this is leaving me kinda cold."

"I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me, and she becomes me. I cease to exist."

"If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the redhead."

"Yeah, nobody like my Will."

"Our lives are different than other peoples."

Fourth Season

"Nobody deserves mime, Buffy"

"On the plus side - you killed the bench, which was looking shifty."

"Yeah, we come to warn you about the....angry puppy."

"Well, Devon dated her for a while, but she was too flaky for him, which...stop and marval at the concept."

"Okay, either I'm borrowing all of your albums, or I'm moving in."

"Maybe it's because of all the horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutu's just don't un-urg me the way they used to."

"Don't scoff, gang. I've seen Giles' collection. He was an animal in his day."


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