**
"I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and I exhale"
from Eve 6's "Inside Out"
**
My face was still pressed into Lucky's shoulder when I felt a change in elevation. Stairs. My body was still wracked with shivers and tears.
"Here we are," Lucky muttered. And then: "Hold on." I felt like I was falling for a split second, and I gripped his neck tightly. He had removed his right arm from holding me. I heard a sound like a key being inserted into a lock, and then I heard air moving. Lucky took two steps forward, turned to face the door, then back to the living room.
He stopped moving and stood perfectly still. I could feel him breathing heavily, probably from the exertion of carrying me all the way here. I could feel the muscles in his arms straining, yet he seemed reluctant to even move, much less put me down.
"Elizabeth?" he asked softly.
"Yeah?" My voice emerged hoarse and with only a whisper's strength.
"Can you stand up?"
I swallowed. "Of course."
"Ok, I'm going to let you go now," he said, again softly. I nodded.
The floor met with my feet with alarming speed. Why did I suddenly feel too much like an empty seashell without Lucky's arms around me? I stood in front of him silently, lost in that train of thought. My eyes were focused on his adams apple, although they weren't seeing much at all.
"Elizabeth?" Since when was his voice lowered to a whisper also?
I forced my eyes up into Lucky's ice blue ones. I almost choked on the pity I saw there.
"Elizabeth, you need a doctor," Lucky murmured.
"No!" I stepped back
He flinched.
"I - I can't see a doctor. I can't see anyone! I - I shouldn't even be here!" I was on my way to the door -- only one step on my way, but still -- when his hand touched my shoulder. An electric current ran through me, but I shrugged it off.
"Don't leave." The huskiness in his voice brought tears to *my* eyes. He moved in between me and the door. I could see his hand trembling. What was his hand trembling for?
"Lucky?" I looked up at him questioningly. Of course, he couldn't know what my question was, and suddenly I was to tired to elaborate. "Can I - can I sit down?"
His face showed his perplexion. "Yeah, sure."
I turned toward the couch and turned back to him. I noticed that my bottom lip was trembling. Surely I could stop it. I tried forcing a smile.
"I can't do it -- sit down, I mean. I don't want to stain your couch, I'm all dirty!" My voice took the note to the highest level it could before breaking.
Lucky's face paled. "I should have realized... I'm sorry-" He cut himself off and motioned towards the couch. "Just sit. It'll clean."
"No, I-"
"Elizabeth!" The strain in his voice raised it to an almost screaming pitch. He looked like he wanted to shake me like a rattle, or something of the sort. "I don't care about the couch, I care about you and you're hurt and not helping anything-" He stopped midsentence. All I could do was stare at him in silence. He pressed his hands to his face, then ran them up his forehead and through his hair. I knew it was a habit of his. He whirled on his heel and stalked three paces towards what I thought was the kitchen. Then he turned back to me and bit at his lip.
"Please, Elizabeth," was all he said.
Where did that pain in his voice come from?
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to get my bearings. I released my arms that had somehow gotten wrapped tightly around my midsection. They flopped lifelessly to my side.
"I think - I'd like to take a shower, if that's all right with you," I suggested quietly. I kept my eyes shut, knowing some kind of eruption would occur.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Elizabeth. The police-"
I held up one hand. Lucky complied and gave me silence. "I don't want the police. I don't want doctors, or nurses, or ANYTHING except a shower right now."
He sighed. And gave in. "The bathroom is the first door on the left. There should be towels, and I'll find you something clean to wear."
I nodded shakily, surprised that I had won this battle. "And if you could call my gram? I don't feel up to making up a story right now. Tell her I'm at Deenie's with Sarah or something. I just don't want to go home." My throat was choked with tears. I almost couldn't breath.
Lucky consented with a nod.
I walked up the stairs and into the bathroom mechanically, allowing my body to move without having to think about it. I pushed back the shower curtain and turned the hot water knob. Water spewed from the "bath" part. I was leaning over the tub now, looking for the little knob that made the water come out of the "shower" part. I couldn't find it. I rubbed my eyes with both hands, thinking I must just be missing it, but it was nowhere to be found.
Tears clouded my eyes now. I was having trouble breathing again, and my body was still shaking. Whether it was from cold, or something else, I don't know. Finally I gave into the helpless feeling and lowered myself to the floor, sobbing for all I was worth.
In moments, there was a sharp knock on the door and then the air around me moved. I didn't look up, afraid of what I would see in Lucky's eyes. He knelt beside me, then took me into his arms. I continued to sob into his body and the night went on.
End CH 3.