**
"Do you like the way you feel
Nothing hurts when no one's real"
From "Bullet Proof" by the Goo Goo Dolls
**
What kind of a name was Sly anyway?
He was over there talking to the girl in the sweats. What was her name? Ellie. That's it. Most of the group had gravitated to the refreshments area. I stood behind them, coffee held between my hands.
I always watched.
The coffee burned my throat, but I ignored it. The other girls were chatting. Pretending to be comfortable. I couldn't stand to watch them. I turned away, sipping at my coffee. There was a single window on the wall not far away. This classroom at PCU was small. It smelled of books and ink and chalk. I stepped to the window. It was dark outside. There were no stars visible from my vantage point.
I still couldn't believe I'd come tonight. This was not the most enjoyable way I could think of to spend a Monday night. I closed my eyes briefly, insanely wishing for everything to go away. Funny, I hadn't done that in months. When I reopened my eyes, movement in the reflection on the glass startled me. I turned around sharply, and almost bumped into Sly. He pulled back his hand, obviously reached out to tap my shoulder.
"I didn't mean to scare you." His voice was low and melodic to my ears. And he was tall up close. I only reached his chest, even in my platforms.
"You didn't scare me," I said quickly. I lifted the corners of my lips and hoped it would pass for a smile. What was he doing over here anyway?
"I think we're about ready to get started," Sly said. He motioned over his shoulder and I noticed that everyone except Sly and myself were sitting in their seats.
Whoops. I slipped past Sly and into my seat. I felt a blush warm up my face. Had I been so much in my own world I hadn't heard him call us back to order? I lifted my coffee cup and took another drink, hoping to hide the flush I knew colored my cheeks.
I missed the first question Sly asked. This whole night had me more flustered than I cared to admit. I leaned forward and set my cup on the floor near my chair and when I looked back up, Sly was looking right at me. His brown eyes made contact with my own. Quickly I glanced away. I checked around our ring of chairs to make sure it wasn't my turn to talk yet. I recrossed my legs and crossed my arms over my stomach. When I glanced back up, Sly was still gazing at me. My heart thumped in my ears once.
What was his deal? I knew he had been checking me out during my introduction. I had been doing the same since I'd arrived. Sly's blond hair was combed neatly, or had been at one point in the evening. It looked like the wind had taken its toll. His chocolate eyes seemed out of place with his blond hair. I'd never known anyone to have blond hair and brown eyes before. I could tell he had at least some muscle. His shoulders showed it, even through his shirt. And he wore a leather jacket. It hung on the back of his chair right now.
The girl next to me, Danielle, was speaking. "I walked into my apartment, and I heard this noise in the other room. Stupidly, I called out, and he came into the room. He was wearing a black mask over his face. I couldn't tell what he looked like. He waved his gun at me, and told me to -- to take my clothes off --"
Sly was out of his chair already. He knelt in front of Danielle, and slowly reached out and took her hands in his. I watched his hands closely.
"It's okay," he said softly. "We're here to listen, and to help." She nodded and a smile came to her face. When he released her hands, she used them to wipe the tears from her face. Sly rocked back on his heels and turned to me.
"Elizabeth, are you comfortable enough to tell us your story?"
My mouth went dry.
Sly was watching my face. I couldn't read his.
I shrugged. "My date canceled on me, so I went out to the movies alone. I was walking home through the park after the flick, and I stopped at a bench to finish my popcorn. A man came up behind me and attacked me."
I didn't say rape. Most of the time I couldn't face that word.
Sly still watched me. Did he want me to say more?
"After it was over, I dragged myself home and snuck in through my window. My sister found out by accident the next day, and my grandmother a few days later. The rest is history." If only that could be true.
Sly stared at me for a moment more. Surely that was enough to satisfy him. He wouldn't expect me to divulge the details of my attack on the first night, would he? I didn't even know these girls! And I really didn't care to relive those moments enough to tell them.
Sly stood up from his crouch and glanced at his watch. "We've gone over our time limit, ladies. I do apologize. I want to mention that I'll be hosting a self-defense class on Friday nights. I hope all of you can come. That's all for tonight. Be safe." He finished with a charming smile.
I stood up quickly and reached for my coat. If I was lucky, I could be out of here without further conversation. I had one arm through my coat sleeve when someone behind me said my name. I turned around.
"Elizabeth."
Of course it would have to be him. Sly was holding out a friendly hand.
"I didn't get to shake your hand earlier," he explained. His smile would normally have melted my kneecaps. Tonight was far from normal.
I stuck out my hand, just like he wanted me to. But I wasn't prepared for the electric shock that accompanied the warm touch of his hand. I kept myself from jumping backwards. I smiled nervously.
"I need to get going. I have to get home." I was turning for the doorway when he spoke again.
"Are you coming on Friday night?"
I groaned inwardly.
"The self-defense class?"
He nodded and smiled again.
"But it's a Friday night." I could pretend too: "I usually go out on Fridays."
"Do you." His voice said he didn't really believe me. "Maybe next time then."
"Maybe."
His smile had dimmed. "Goodnight, Elizabeth. Have a safe drive home."
I nodded and headed for the door. I wasn't driving.
I could feel his eyes burning into my back as I walked out. I slipped into the shadows outside and stood for a moment, leaning up against the cool brick of the building.
I felt very weird. Upset.
My hands shook as I pulled a cigarette from my purse and fumbled around for my lighter. The smoke did nothing to soothe me. It never did anymore. I let the burning stick hang from my fingers beside me. My breath alone puffed out in front of me like smoke, while I tried to catch it, along with my racing heartbeat.
What was my problem?
I stepped past the glass door of the building and set a fast pace for home. I stayed inside the shadows as much as I could. And there were plenty of them. I sucked at my cigarette again and pretended that if I stayed in the darkness forever, I wouldn't have to face any of this again.
End chapter 2.