As the vampire next to you begins to talk about 'how they really knew how to throw a party in his day,' you wait for your chance.

He's watching you pretty close, but finally he glances towards the window.

Seizing the moment, you grab that ugly powder blue lamp your Aunt Harriet gave you for graduation and bean him with it!
 

You jump to your feet as he slumps to the floor. Just for laughs…you kick him in the ribs. "That's what you get for messin' with me!" You yell, then turn and run for the door.

Needless to say…you don't make it.

But you -do- have the honor of being remembered by Lacroix as the stupidest mortal he ever met.