Homer's  Greatest thoughts of Ralph's                                 FUNNIEST Quotes of all time!

Recent episode lines by Ralph Wiggum on 11/22/98

: I hope i don't meet that weird elf Hi Lisa~

Is this my house? No Ralph, you live in a different house Chooo CHooo CHOOoo (runs out of the house)**

Yay!! she is going to call my name!

Yay! I got a B!!

The FUNNIEST Line in that Episode by Ralph Wiggum is.. "HI SUPER-NINTEDNO CHALMERS!


Oh Canada!!

WHEN YOU CLICK ON A SOUND FILE, please click "OPEN THIS FILE FROM ITS CURRENT LOCATION" for a faster and better quality sound.. thank you

I'm Idaho!.

I bent my Wookie .

My cat's breath smells like catfood.

My doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose-bleeds if I kept my finger out of there .

I ate all my caps.

Me fail English, that's Unpossible!!

My face is on Fire!!.

When the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life..

What's a diarama?

My cat's name is Mittens.

I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids!

My parents won't let me use scissors..

Would you cook my dinner for me? .

Ms. Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.

What's a battle?

It tastes like ....BURNING!!

Ms. Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.

This is where i met the leprechaun. He tells me to Burn things.

Ms. Hoover, I don't have a red crayon. .... i ate it.

Thanks for not eating me!

When i grow up, i am going to Bovine University .

I like your toys Bart, mine is all gooey and sticky.. oops (drops his ice cream on the toys)

(Marge opens the closet and finds Ralph) Shhh.. i am playing Hide and Seek, I was in here for 2 hours.

LOOK BIG DADDY, there's Regular DADDY!

My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it...can I have another one?"

Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!"

"Principle Skinner, I got carsick in your office."

"I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant."

"I think I wet my bed."

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.

Ralph: I'm a boy!

Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Lunch Lady Doris: At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy?

Ralph: What's for lunch tomorrow?

Director: Next!

Ralph: Chicken necks?

Ralph: Can you open my milk, Mommy?

Hoover: I'm not mommy, Ralph. I'm Ms. Hoover.

Miss Hoover: You see, class, my lyme Disease turned out to be psychosomatic.

Ralph: Does that mean you were crazy?

Janey: No, that means she was faking it.

Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both. Sometimes when a deisease is in all the magazines, and all the news shows, it's only natural that you think you have it.

Miss Hoover: Now, here's an oral extra credit question: What was Christopher Columbus actually looking for when he discovered America?

Lisa: (raises hand) Ooh! Ooh!

Miss Hoover: Anyone besides Lisa for a change?

Ralph: Oh! Eh! Eh!

Mis Hoover: Ralph, this better not be about your cat.

(Ralph sadly puts down his hand)

Lisa: Hey Ralph, Want to come with me and Allison to play anagrams?

Allison: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Reverend Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this. So repeat after me, if i withhold the truth, may I go straight to hell where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola...

Ralph: ..Where fiery demons will punch me in the back...

Bart: (ignoring)..... where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers, ...

Nelson: I heard a witch lives there

Ralph: I heard a Frankenstein lives there.

Milhouse: You guys are way off. It's a secret lab where they take teh brains out of zombies and put them in heads of other zombies to create a race of Super-Zombies!

Nelson: That's the house??!!

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and i saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.

Chief Wigum: Baby looked at you? Sarah - Get me Superintendent Chalmers!