FAVE QUOTES PAGE
Bumper Stickers - George Carlin
1.We Are The Proud Parents Of A Child Who's Self-Esteem
Is Sufficient So That He Doesn't Need Us Advertising
His Little Achievements On The Back Of Our Car
2. We Have A Daughter In Public School Who Hasn't Been
Knocked Up Yet
3. We Have A Son In Public School Who Hasn't Beat Up Any
Of His Classmates Yet....... But He Does Sell Drugs To
Your Honor Student......... Plus He Knocked Up Your
Daughter
4. Don't Distract Me, I Have To Get Home, I Had The
Mexican Bean Chili Dip And Washed It Down With A
Gallon Of Gin So, Well, Let's Just Say I'll Be In
& Out All Day
Sports' Vexing Questions - Steve Rushin
* Why does television regularly show suicide bombings in Iraq, monks setting themselves on fire in the street and
murders captured on convenience-store security cameras but never - never - show someone running onto the
field at a baseball game, for fear that the images might encourage such behavior?
* If the opposite of pro is con (and the opposite of progress is Congress), how did so many of our ex-pros become
ex-cons?
* Why are Pro Bowlers rich and famous but pro bowlers are not?
* Do one-dimensional teams always look good on paper?
There are two sides to every story and then there's the truth.
-- in commercial for episode of Cops
Everybody has started to lose patience with this election. As a matter of fact, earlier today Yankee great Yogi Berra called Vice President Al Gore and said 'It's over!'" - David Letterman
I don't think you need a TV show to say guns are bad. But I
think the show can say that someone like Homer Simpson should
never be allowed to own a gun.
-- "The Simpsons" executive producer, Mike Scully, on the
social satire behind the animated series.
Television is considered a medium because it is neither rare nor well-done.
Ernie Kovacs
I wish there was a knob on the TV to increase intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but you know that don't work.
Gallagher
Is it because light travels faster than sound that people look intelligent until they speak?
MORE TO COME
Last Updated: December 23, 2005