EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW IN LIFE I LEARNED FROM WATCHING CUPID

If you're trying to get Little Red Riding Hood into the sack, make sure there's no ax-wielding maniac nearby.

No such thing as a shy wolf.

He who hesitates sleeps in an empty bed.

Football is a substitute for war.

The Ayatollah would suck as a roommate.

It's mostly attitude; it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

There's no such thing as a right way of talking.

True passion for sports, contests, violence; it comes from the working classes.

Make a move.

Get in the game.

Have a beautiful trainwreck.

There's someone for everyone.

Coffee without caffeine, is like sex without the spanking.

A number of people eat other people, that doesn't mean it's right for everyone.

Every day we pass a thousand people on the street, any one of them could be our Fred or Ginger.

Just 'cause you tease someone doesn't mean you like'em.

Both movies and real life make it as difficult as possible for two people to find each other and fall in love.

In real life, love would hold our interest.

Movies end when two people finally embrace, but that is exactly when life begins.

Everyone is aching for magic.

Everyone wants that moment, in the third act, when their eyes meet, and the music swells, and they fall into their lover's arms.

No one talks, no one connects anymore.

Just because bellbottoms came back doesn't make them any more attractive.

Love has been replaced by vibrators and chatrooms.

People don't want to fall in love anymore because love SUCKS.

Love's like a bad rash: It goes away, comes back, itches, but it's damned gratifying to scratch.

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