Escape from the Hellhole
Thursday, November 25, 1993
8:15 pm
It was Thanksgiving day, the day before we were
supposed to go to Disneyland. We was Jerry (my stepdad), Susan
(my mom), Andy (me), Brady (my brother), and Cary (my
stepbrother). I was 14, Brady was 12, and Cary was 9. Id
spent most of the day being sick, and was really hoping Id
be better by the next morning. Cary and Brady seemed more
interested in a borrowed Sega game than our impending mega
vacation. Miss Cat was enjoying not having the dog around (Punkin
was at the Steins). Jerry was rejoicing to the strains of
Stings Still Know Nothin Bout Me. Our
bags were packed and waiting by the front door.
Friday, November 26, 1993
We were doing it! We were escaping the hellhole!
We had to get up at the crack of dawn, though. Despite
Bradys need to put a quart of gel in his hair and
Jerrys sudden interest in our rugs, we were soon on our way
to the airport.
5:54 am
Our taxi cab got us to the airport in one piece.
Mom had to use one of her clever ruses to discourage the cab
driver from breaking into our shack while we were absent. She
mentioned quite loudly that Uncle Mike would be staying in our
house for the next week. Just in case the cabby tried to break in
and steal some of our dry rot.
Apparently, someone read that you should be at
your gate one hour before boarding. Somehow, I doubt that applies
to flights leaving before the sun comes up. We sat in a deserted
flight lounge for one hour. Mom catnapped in a lounge across the
way, and we couldnt find her.
Cary faced a major dilemma: where to
store his multicolored suitcase, aka The Bingo Shit. Brady and I
took to calling it that, but weve never known why. Jerry
was no help: he was busy filming himself with the camcorder.
As
we left Portland, Brady had the windowseat. Just as I always get
the last of everything, Brady always gets the windowseat. During
the flight, I got a terrible ear ache. However, it did not keep
me from staring obsessively out the window looking for the Knots
Landing cul-de-sac. I never did see it.
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