`Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines'
`I intend to live forever, so far so good'
`I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe'
`You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you'
`He who laughs last, thinks slowest.'
`Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark'
`I don have the solution, but I admire the problem'
`Dain Bramaged'
`Death is life's way of telling you, you're fired'
In court: (a true story!)
-Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
-No.
-Did you check for blood pressure?
-No.
-Did you check for breathing?
-No.
-So then it is possible, the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
-No.
-How can you be so sure, Doctor?
-Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
-But could the patient have been alive nevertheless?
-It is possible, that he could have been alive and practicing law!
`Learn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control!'
`There are three kinds of people, those that can count and those who can't.'
`The difference between involvement and comitment is like an egg and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was comitted.'
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