Background: Angel has lost his soul and is hellbent on destroying Buffy.
  After Ms. Calendar is murdered and Spike and Dru are killed, Buffy decides
  she can't handle facing Angelus....the killer with her lover's face.
  Despite Giles' pleas, she convinces her mother to move far away. As a
  result, Giles is recalled to England to answer to the Watchers' Council
  about the Slayer's abandonment. Cordelia returns to her group of
  "friends" and vows to forget about the Slayer and Slayerettes. Oz
  graduates and goes on the road with his band. And Xander decides to go
  and live with relatives in another state. All of them leave without a
  backward glance to the one they left behind......Willow.

  Summer 1998

  It was a night when no human should be out alone. Of course, in
  Sunnydale, night isn't a time to be out alone or otherwise, unless you
  wanted to come face to face with the walking dead. Willow was more aware
  of this than anyone, but she didn't care. She stood on the edge of the
  bridge looking down, unaware of the rain or the cold wind, unaware of the
  shadow watching her. <How simple it would be to jump. No one would care.
  Not anymore.>

  Angel stood in the shadows watching the young woman. What was she
  thinking, being out alone? She was easy pickings....maybe too easy. He
  knew the girl wasn't stupid, so why was she standing outside in this
  weather? Something wasn't right. <Maybe it's a trap.> With that thought
  Angelus laughed to himself. <Not likely since the Slayer turned tail and
  ran. She's out of my grasp now, but someday I will find and destroy her.>
  Walking quietly towards the former Slayerette, he decided it was meal
  time.

  In some corner of her consciousness, Willow heard Angel's approach. And
  in that instance she knew she was going to die....and welcomed it. After
  all, it'd be easier than jumping. She felt him standing behind her and
  felt him grab her around the neck-and she did nothing.
  "Aren't you going to struggle? Maybe scream?"
  Willow just stood still and leaned her head to one side, exposing her
  neck to him. <Soon the pain will be over.>
  Angel was confused. The girl wasn't fighting him; in fact, she'd barely
  acknowledged that he was there. The only sign had been the tilt of her
  head, almost as if she was presenting him her throat.
  "What game are you playing?"
  Again, no response. She wasn't giving him the satisfaction of her fear.
  Was she even afraid? Angel got angry and spun her around to face him,
  making sure he had on his 'game face'. He looked straight into her eyes
  and what he saw made him step away. Willow fell to the ground. Instead
  of trying to flee, she sat up against the railing.
  Angel had looked into her eyes and seen.....nothing. No spark of life,
  no light, no fear, no nothing. He looked at her sitting there, staring
  at
  something he couldn't see. He realized then that she wanted him to kill
  her. What the hell had driven her to offer herself to death?
  "Willow?"
  No response. Still she did nothing but stare straight ahead. No
  movement or sign that she'd even heard him. He knelt down in front of her
  and tipped her face so that she was looking directly at him. And he knew
  that if he could see his reflection in a mirror, his eyes would be a
  mirror of hers. And at that moment he knew he wouldn't kill her.
  "Go home to your nice little home and your little friends. There's no
  point in killing you. The Slayer's gone and it wouldn't accomplish
  anything. Count yourself lucky that I already ate."
  Angel turned and started to walk away but something stopped him. A
  movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned, never expecting what he
  saw.
  Willow had stood up but wasn't going home. She walked over to the
  railing and was climbing up.
  <What the hell? The little fool is going to jump!> Before he even knew
  what he was doing, Angel raced over and grabbed Willow before she could
  fall.
  "What's the matter with you?"
  Willow felt like a rag doll in his arms, and he unconsciously tightened
  his hold on her.
  "Answer me!"
  But Willow didn't hear him. She had retreated inside herself, trying to
  hide from the pain.
  Angel knew he wouldn't get a response from her. <I should just walk
  away. What do I care if she kills herself.> He set her down on the ground
  and began to leave, but again something made him turn around. <She looks
  so pale and fragile, sitting there in the rain like a doll no one wants
  anymore. Damn!> He walked back over to her and put his jacket around her
  shoulders, picked her up, and carried her back to his apartment.

  Once at Angel's apartment, Angel put Willow into the shower; then
  dressed her in a dry t-shirt. He tried not to think about what a nice
  body she had as he dried her off and laid her on the bed. <What's the
  matter with me? Why am I playing nursemaid to her? > But sitting next to
  her on the bed, all he knew was that there was something about her that
  made him feel protective of her- an emotion he hadn't felt since the curse
  was broken.
  "Get some rest. We'll talk in the morning."
  Angel pulled the covers up to her shoulders. What she did next took him
  completely by surprise....she gripped his hand in hers, brought it to her
  chest, and fell asleep. Angel didn't move for several moments, then went
  to sit in the chair and decided to try to get some sleep.

  Several hours later, Angel was startled awake by moaning. He turned
  toward the bed and saw Willow thrashing about on the bed. Getting up, he
  walked over to the bed. Willow was sound asleep but obviously in the
  midst of a nightmare. Reaching out to brush a strand of hair from her
  face, he felt that her skin was ice cold. Without even thinking about
  it,
  he crawled into bed and pulled her into his arms. She burrowed against
  him and he tightened his hold on her shivering body.

  Willow woke up confused and disoriented. The last thing she remembered
  was being on the bridge. Angel. <He was there, why didn't he kill me? >
  It was then that she realized she wasn't alone. She turned and saw
  Angel.<What's going on? Why did he bring me to his apartment?> Willow
  reluctantly got out of bed even though she admitted to herself that she
  would've liked to stay in the bed with him, but no one else wanted
  her...so why would he. That train of thought brought about the depression
  of the previous weeks and she crawled into a corner and began crying.

  Angel knew something was wrong when he woke up. It took him a moment to
  realize that he was in the bed alone. <That bitch! She'd been playing
  me
  the whole time.> As angry as he was, it took him several minutes to
  notice Willow huddled in the corner. <She didn't leave.> Angel wasn't
  sure why that thought pleased him. He walked over to the corner and
  shook
  her awake.
  Willow looked into Angel's eyes. <Will he kill me now? Please.>
  "I'm not going to hurt you."
  He thought she wasn't going to respond but when she did it was barely a
  whisper.
  "What?" he questioned.
  "You made a mistake."
  "What mistake are we talking about? I've made so many," he replied
  sarcastically.
  "You let me live."
  Angel was surprised. <Damn, this was becoming a habit.>
  "Why's that a mistake?"
  "I want to die. If you weren't going to kill me, then you should've left
  me to do it myself."
  Looking into her eyes, he knew that she meant every word she said. He
  had never had anyone who wanted to die before. She was too young and
  full
  of life to want to die. <Funny, I've never thought about that when I've
  killed before.>
  Again he asked, "Why?"
  Willow looked at Angel. He wasn't acting like the Angel she knew before,
  but he wasn't acting like the killer that he was now either. And she
  realized that, for whatever reason, she wasn't afraid of him.
  "Why what?" she answered.
  "Don't get smart. Why do you want to die?"
  "What do you care? Why didn't you make this easy for both of us and just
  kill me?"
  "You answer my question and I'll answer yours."
  Willow remained silent. She knew, compared to what he'd lived through,
  her reasons would seem stupid. But then, they were her reasons and they
  only had to matter to her. So she told him about being deserted by her
  friends, ignored by her family, and her feeling of utter loneliness.
  "I'm not strong like Buffy or Xander. Since they left, my world's fallen
  apart and I want the pain to end."
  "You're stronger than both of them. Think about it. They ran away when
  things got tough; but, even though you knew what could and probably would
  happen, you stayed. That makes you stronger."
  Willow just shook her head and began crying.
  "You asked me why I didn't kill you, but I don't know if I can answer
  you. I was all prepared to until I saw your eyes. They reminded me too
  much of myself. For reasons I can't explain, I felt drawn to you and I
  couldn't allow anything to happen to you. That's why I brought you here,
  to keep you from jumping."
  "You picked a hell of a time to try being a nice guy."
  Angel roughly pulled Willow into his arms.
  "I'm the same guy I was when I killed that teacher and tried to kill
  Buffy-certainly not a nice guy. And you'll do well to remember that. I
  haven't changed back into the wuss I was before that curse was broken. But
  for some reason, I can't kill you."
  "Damn you, why not! No one else cares, why should you? They all left
  and made it clear that this place....including me, would be just a memory.
  You don't care about anyone, have no feelings, so why couldn't you just do
  what you're good at!" Willow yelled at him while hitting him in the
  chest.
  Angel grabbed Willow's arms and pushed her to the floor, pinning her arms
  above her head and covering her body with his.
  "That's enough! You know you can't fight me."
  Willow stopped struggling and turned toward the wall.
  Angel moved one hand to her face and turned it toward him, using his
  other hand to keep her arms pinned. Gently, he lowered his mouth to hers
  and kissed her.
  "You need more rest. And I need time to think."
  Angel lifted Willow into his arms and carried her back to bed. He
  crawled in behind her and slid her back against him.
  "Goodnight Princess."
  Willow and Angel laid in each other's arms, both confused about the
  events of the night. Willow knew that she should be afraid of him. After
  all he'd killed Ms. Calendar and tried to destroy Buffy. But of all the
  things she was feeling..none of them was fear. And Angel was trying to
  figure out what was happening to him. He didn't understand why he cared
  about what happened to the girl, but he did. He knew that he would kill
  anyone who tried to take her away from him. Whether he liked it or not,
  there was a bond between them. She belonged to him now.

  Angel woke up and looked at the young woman sleeping in his arms. She
  had always been nice to him- never throwing his past back at him. She made
  him feel like he belonged with their group. That was one of the reasons,
  after the curse was broken, he wanted to kill her. But now, looking at
  her, he saw a beautiful woman. How could I not have noticed her?
  <Because you were blinded by the Slayer.>
  Willow woke to find Angel watching her. They laid there staring into
  each other's eyes. Willow finally buried her face into the pillow.
  "Why do you always do that?" he asked.
  Willow looked at Angel in confusion.
  "Do what?" she replied.
  "Hide."
  "It's what I'm good at."
  Angel leaned over and brushed his lips over hers. Then turned the kiss
  into a passionate embrace.
  "No more hiding." he admonished.
  Angel got up and started putting on his shirt. He turned and noticed
  Willow watching him.
  "What is it, Princess?"
  Willow blushed at the nickname Angel seemed to have given her.
  "You're confusing me."
  "Well, the feelings mutual. But how have I confused you?"
  "You're not acting like the Angel I met two years ago, but you're not
  acting like Angelus either. I know you're the same person who killed Ms.
  Calendar, but I'm not afraid of you. You're the one who killed my fish
  and tried to destroy Buffy; yet I feel safe with you. I don't understand
  it."
  Angel walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. Reaching for a
  strand of hair, he began twirling it in his fingers.
  "I'm Angelus. I haven't changed. I still kill humans, and I still plan
  to destroy the Slayer. The Angel you knew is dead and will stay dead,
  because I'm here to stay."
  "Then why does it matter to you if I kill myself," she argued. "Angelus
  would jump at the chance to kill me, wouldn't he?"
  Angel was not sure how to answer her.
  "Yes, he would. Let's just say maybe, as far as you're concerned, I've
  picked up something from the old Angel. You touch something in me that I
  didn't even know existed, and I don't want to lose that. So I won't kill
  you, and I won't allow anyone else to hurt you either."
  "So, what happens now?"
  "I don't know, Princess. I just don't know."
  Angel pulled Willow onto his lap and sat there just holding her. <This
  feels right. The old Angel was willing to die for Buffy and I thought him
  a fool. Now here I am in the same situation, but with a different girl.
  How ironic is that!>
  "You better get home before your parents call the cops," he suggested.
  Angel noticed a shadow cross Willow's face.
  "They won't. Lately, they've been having problems and don't even realize
  if I'm around or not. Besides, they've been finding reasons to be gone
  alot. But, I should get going. School starts next week and I suppose I
  should get ready. Senior year is supposed to be the best time of my life,
  you know. What a joke!"
  Willow got up and went into the bathroom to get dressed. <I wonder if
  I'll ever see him again once I leave. Probably not. Despite what he said,
  I can't compare to Buffy.> She was combing her hair when Angel slipped his
  arms around her waist.
  "This isn't over."
  Willow nodded and turned to kiss him before she left. She knew now,
  without a doubt, that something had begun last night that would bind them
  forever. At the door, Willow turned to Angel. No words were exchanged,
  none were needed. Then the door closed and Angel was alone.
  <Till tonight, Princess.>
 

  The next two weeks passed in a blur. Willow went back to school, but
  nothing was the same. She no longer went to the library, and since Xander
  and Buffy were gone, she spent her days alone. Every once in a while
  she'd spot Cordelia; but she'd gone back to her 'in' crowd and wouldn't
  even acknowledge Willow. The days were lonely, but thoughts of the
  nights got her through. Ever since that night, she'd been spending the
  evenings with Angel. It had gotten to the point where she was practically
  living with him.....not that her parents even noticed. They were gone more
  often than not. Their relationship was still a puzzle to both of them but
  neither wanted it to end. Angel never told her what he did when he had
  to
  go out at night, and she never asked-it was better that way. And when
  they were together, it was magic. She'd never imagined that he could be
  such a gentle lover...her Angelus.
  They had both agreed, for different reasons, that in those intimate
  moments she wouldn't call him Angel. He wanted to know that she wasn't
  confusing him with who he'd once been, and she didn't want the memory of
  Buffy's relationship with Angel to haunt them. Angel had become her life,
  in spite of what he did when they were apart. She loved him. And he let
  her know that the feeling, although a new one for him, was mutual.
 

  Willow quietly entered their apartment; she knew Angel would be sleeping
  and didn't want to wake him. She couldn't face him....not yet. She set
  her bag down and sat to watch him sleep. <How do I tell him? What will he
  do?>
  So caught up in her thoughts, Willow didn't realize that Angel was awake
  and watching her. He knew the minute he saw her face that something was
  wrong. <She's afraid of something. If someone's hurt her, I'll kill
  them!>
  "Princess?"
  Willow raised her eyes to her lover and began crying. He held out his
  hand to her and she took it, joining him on the bed.
  "What happened? You're afraid of something," he reflected.
  Willow just nodded. <God, how I love him. How will I go on if I lose
  him now?"
  "Tell me. What are you afraid of?" he asked again.
  "Losing you," she answered honestly.
  "Where am I going?"
  Angel noticed that Willow was fumbling with the blanket. He took her
  hands in his and gripped them.
  "Willow, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's happened."
  Willow stood up and walked over to wall and stood looking in the mirror.
  "I found something today," she explained. "My first impulse was to
  destroy it, but I realized that I couldn't make that decision. It had to
  be your choice."
  Angel sat on the edge of the bed staring at her. <What was she talking
  about?>
  "My choice about what?" he wanted to know.
  "Whether you want to regain your soul."
  "What!?"
  Willow walked over to her bag and pulled something out. She handed it to
  Angel.
  "A computer disk?"
  Willow sat down in the chair and told Angel that Principal Snyder had
  given her the disk. It had been found over the summer and he put it aside
  for her.
  "What's on it?"
  "The Restoration ritual."
  Angel was stunned. <It can't be. I burned the damn thing before I killed
  the teacher.>
  "Ms. Calendar must've saved it on the disk before you...before she died."
  Angel sat there stunned. Then something Willow had said previously
  surfaced in his memory.
  "You were going to destroy it without telling me. Why?"
  Willow swallowed hard. "Because I knew if you decided to use the ritual,
  that I would lose you. It would mean you....that Angel and Buffy could
  be
  together."
  Angel didn't need to think about it. That part of his life was over. He
  had no desire to be reunited with the Slayer. He walked over to Willow
  and knelt in front of her. Waiting until she was watching him, he smashed
  the disk into pieces.
  Willow looked from the smashed disk to Angel's face. With that gesture,
  he had closed all doors to the past, just as she'd done when she moved her
  belongings into Angel's apartment. Each was all that the other had.
  Angel pulled Willow to him. The kiss was just the beginning. He picked
  her up and carried her to bed. The choices had been made and they had
  chosen the same path. And no one would seperate them. They wouldn't allow
  it.

  Several months later, Willow was sitting in the computer lab working on a
  project. Life at school was still lonely for her, but having Angel to go
  home to made it bearable. Willow was suddenly aware of someone behind her
  and spun around.
  "Buffy? What are you doing here?"
  Buffy didn't answer, she just stared at Willow. The Slayer had been
  feeling guilty about cutting ties with Willow. She had called her home,
  but couldn't reach anyone. As a last resort, Buffy had called Cordelia.
  She could still recall the conversation.
  "She's what?!"
  "You heard me. Willow's living with Angelus."
  "You've got to be kidding. She wouldn't go near him. My God, he killed
  Ms. Calendar in cold blood!"
  "Look, I don't have anything to do with Willow anymore, but I can tell
  you she's fine. He hasn't changed her and he apparently treats her
  well."
  "It sounds like you approve. God, what's happened to you two?"
  "Don't be so self-righteous, Ms. Vampire Slayer! You and Xander
  high-tailed it out of here when things got bad. Then Giles left too.
  Willow and I were left to fend for ourselves. I threw myself back into
  my
  old life and Willow found a new one. Besides, she's obviously good for
  Angelus. There have been no "unexplained" deaths since she moved in with
  him, other then the occassional lowlife. So, just go back to your new
  life and forget Sunnydale and forget us....you've done it before."
  "Buffy?"
  Willow's voice brought Buffy back to the present.
  "Hello Willow."
  "What are you doing back?"
  "Well, I tried to call you and got no answer, so I called Cordelia, she
  had some interesting information about you."
  "What kind of information?" Willow wanted to know.
  "Information that I don't want to believe. Tell me you're not involved
  with Angelus."
  Willow stood up and went to look out the window. It was just after
  sunset.
  "It's true."
  Buffy became angry.
  "Damnit Will, how could you? He's a monster."
  "Don't call him that. You don't know him like I do."
  "Oh, please. Are you forgetting the people he's killed and the other
  horrible things he's done?"
  "Of course not."
  "I don't understand you. What happened to Oz?"
  "He went on tour after he graduated and dumped me for some groupie.
  Funny, it was about the same time I was abandoned by my best friends."
  "So you turned to Angelus because you were lonely. God, get a dog!"
  "Just leave. You haven't been around, don't you dare judge me. You were
  the "chosen" and you ran. So don't lecture me."
  Both girls were unaware of the shadow listening to their conversation .
  Buffy questioned Willow, "Do you love him?"
  "Yes, more then life itself."
  "And obviously more than your sense of right and wrong."
  Before Willow could respond, Angel entered.
  "Hello Buffy."
  Buffy turned to see the new arrival. <How can someone so gorgeous be so
  evil?>
  "Angel."
  Angel walked over to Willow.
  "Problems?"
  Willow just shook her head.
  Buffy turned on Angel, "I don't know what you've done to her, but it
  won't last."
  Angel glared at her, "Listen carefully, Slayer. I'm only going to say
  this once. Leave Sunnydale now and don't return. I'm giving you this
  chance to walk away."
  "Why not kill me? It's what you've threatened to do."
  "Because killing you would make Willow unhappy and I won't do that. But
  don't push my generosity. Leave now or face the consequences," he
  warned.
  Buffy turned to Willow.
  "Willow, walk out with me now. Can't you see him for what he is?"
  Lifting her chin high, Willow countered, "I'm not leaving. I've made my
  choice. Do as Angel says. Leave and don't come back here."
  "I won't leave you with him," Buffy vowed.
  "Jealous?"
  "Will, how can you ask me that? The man I loved is dead, and he killed
  him. I won't leave you here to be next!"
  Willow shook her head sadly, "Why not, you left me before and never
  looked back. You had no way of knowing if Angel would come after me or
  not, but you still left without a backward glance. Well, you've eased
  your conscience, so you can go back to wherever you came from. I'm happy
  and healthy."
  Angel ended the conversation, "You have 24 hours to leave."
  Buffy watched Willow and Angel leave. Something about the way he held
  Willow brought back memories for Buffy. Was it possible that Angelus
  actually cared for Willow? <I have to respect her wishes, and I'm
  definitely in no condition to fight Angel. It's obvious that he's taken
  care of her the past months and she seems happy. I guess the best thing
  for me is to leave before Angel decides to come after me.> Buffy turned
  and walked out of the school and headed away from Sunnydale, knowing
  she'd
  never be back. <Good luck Willow. I hope you know what you're doing.>

  Willow and Angel walked back to their apartment.
  "Thank you," she murmured.
  "For what, Princess?"
  "Letting Buffy leave. I know that wasn't easy for you."
  "It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Destroying the Slayer
  doesn't seem as important to me now. Besides, when Buffy left Sunnydale,
  she turned her back on her duties. She's a quitter, not really the Slayer
  anymore.
  Angel stopped walking and turned to look intently at Willow.
  "Did you mean what you said?"
  "About what?"
  "About loving me?"
  "How long were you standing there eavesdropping?"
  "Long enough. Quit stalling."
  "I meant everything I told her."
  "Good."
  They walked the rest of the way in silence arms around each other. Just
  holding on to each other, they knew they had overcome a major obstacle.
 

  Lying in bed with Willow, Angel thought back over the day's events.
  Seeing Buffy hadn't done anything for him. He had thought there would be
  disappointment at not being able to kill her. But ever since Willow had
  entered his life, his priorities had changed. Maybe the old Angel had the
  right idea about love-he just had the wrong woman in mind. Willow was
  everything he'd ever want. And when the time came, he'd bring her across.
  Because he had no intention of letting old age or death take his beloved
  princess away from him. Pulling Willow into his arms, Angel finally
  allowed himself to sleep.
  Willow knew the moment Angel fell asleep. Looking at his relaxed face,
  she thanked whoever had given her his love. She knew he had done
  horrible
  things and that he had no conscience, but she also trusted his love.
  Besides, sometimes bad can be good. Curling up in the protective circle
  of her lover's arms, Willow drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
  Both knew they would have problems to face, but they also knew that they
  could overcome anything. The power of their love had brought a touch of
  humanity to Angelus and a new confidence to Willow. They would face the
  future together.....a future full of love.

  THE END