'Cordelia-Age 6'
The words were scrawled in bold dark letters underneath a black and white photocopied picture.
Hearing a strangled cry, Willow turned around just in time to see Cordelia run past with tears streaming down her face. She dashed into the girls_ room.
Raising an eyebrow, Willow turned back to contemplate the picture. The child was cute, with dark hair and eyes..and chubby..very very chubby....not to mention naked...very very naked. She was sitting in a bathtub gleefully clutching a rubber ducky. Willow sighed softly. Even though it_d been taken over 10 years ago, the chubby child was unmistakeably Cordelia. There was no denying it, even with the added weight, and the..uh...lack of clothing, the pretty dark eyes were a dead giveaway. The question was...how did it end up on the bulletin board in front of the main office....? Not to mention all over every corridor in the school...
"Hah...hey, Willow, you seen Cordelia today yet?"
She turned to regard the male who_d spoken to her. "Actually, I did, Xander. She just ran into the bathroom crying."
A momentary flash of guilt lit his dark features, but the self-satisfied smirk quickly returned as his eyes sparkled evilly.
"Serves her right", he murmured.
"Oh Xander, how could you?" Willow_s exasperated tone had no effect on his smug smile. "How_d you get the photo anyway?"
"Hey, hey calm down !" He grabbed her arm and gently pulled her into the library. "Keep it quiet, Snyder already has it out for me."
"I thought you and Cordelia were...umm..involved." She blushed for no apparent reason.
"We are..kinda. We_re keeping it under wraps, though..just for the time being, I mean."
"So I guess it_s staying in the closet, huh?" Willow snorted. This time it was Xander_s turn to blush.
"Uhh..yeah. Right, I guess you could say that", he cleared his throat "umm..you seen Buffy lately?"
"No" < you ignorant, clueless, self-absorbed moron > she added silently. She sighed for a second time. Why did she put up with this?
< Great, just great. Today is gonna be a fantastic day, I can just feel it >
Life would be so much easier if she were a vampire: to live in perpetual darkness. Or to be a Slayer. Or to be blond, built and have superhuman strength. Gee, that sounded familiar, kinda like Buffy. Willow groaned inwardly. She loved Buffy to death but couldn_t help feeling jealous over Xander_s crush on her. Even she knew that Cordelia was just acting as a temporary substitute for Buffy: something to take Xander_s mind off of the embarassment and pain of being rejected by her.
Rejection, now there was a field in which Willow was a relative expert. Well, more acurately, a fear of rejection. She snuck a sideways glance at Xander, who was trying to pry the foil lid off of a snack-sized pudding container. It wasn_t just the physical aspect of it all, < not that Xander isn_t incredibly hot or anything > she grinned inwardly, but truthfully, she_d loved him since she was too young to even think that way. She_d loved him since before she was even potty trained. He was someone who understood her. Someone she could always talk to. They often said the same thing simultaneously and could finish off eachother_s thoughts. They were bonded somehow. It went farther than their childhood and their shared interests and even their life-long friendship. It was beyond all that. < Maybe we shared a past life? > she snickered to herself < probably, not much is impossible living on the Hellmouth >.
"Mr. Harris, what had we agreed to concerning eating in the library?" Both Willow and Xander looked up to see Giles come out from behind the stacks carrying a dark blue book.
"Whoops. Sorry, Giles. I just-", in that moment Xander managed to get the lid off of the pudding only to have it spill all over his slacks. "Damn!" he cursed, just as the door swung open.
"Hey guys. Gee Xander, didya have an accident?" Buffy said flippantly as she eyed the chocolate pudding all over his pants.
"Be right back," he muttered, an embarassed flush creeping over his neck. < Great, just great. Today is gonna be a fantastic day, I can just feel it >
Willow allowed a small smile to creep over her face as she watched Xander flee the library in embarassment. < Good, maybe there *is* some justice in this world > she thought evilly. She immediately felt guilty about her pleasure over seeing him squirm, he was her best friend after all. She sighed for what seemed like the zillionth time today. < You_re so busy feeling his pain that you can_t pay attention to your own > _Shut up_ she told herself. Gosh, these internal arguments were getting freaky.
"So, why_d Xander hang up all those pics of Cordelia? Not that I_m complaining or anything, I mean it_s a very flattering shot and all, but I thought that they were..well, cozy."
"Umm..why do you think it was Xander?" Willow asked, trying desparately to cover for him. Buffy rolled her eyes.
"That little stunt has Xander_s name all over it," she grinned, "I_m kinda impressed."
"Well, maybe it_s because she threatened my masculinity," offered Xander as he re-entered the library with a pale, but noticeable brownish stain on his khahis. Not to mention a huge wet spot.
"What masculinity?" Buffy asked in wide-eyed innocence. Willow giggled.
"Nevermind. Seriously though, I saw her with Kenneth Jason last night, doing very bad things and I happen to know that Kenneth has a girlfriend. I felt bad. Besides, I hate guys who have first names for last names. I mean, how could you even *think* about dating someone like that? Gross." he replied, ignoring Buffy_s jibe.
"Damn, how many closets does that girl rent out?" muttered Buffy, just loud enough for Xander to hear. She yawned suddenly, < Gosh, I_ve been tired lately... >
Willow immediately lowered her eyes, < darn, Buffy shouldn_t have said that, now he_ll know I let it slip to her about his relationship with Cordelia >. She thought back, rather painfully, to that time that he_d approached her at her locker. He was insecure and desperate to tell her something. Soon, he was spilling the entire story to her about how he and Cordelia had been getting frisky in a closet for the past few weeks. Willow rolled her eyes. < I should_ve told him off then and there, right on the spot. > Instead, she had been comforting and caring, just like a good best friend. Later, in a fit of tears, she had accidently told Buffy.
"Well," Buffy continued in a normal voice, " that was very *noble* of you Xander. It was very nice of you to defend Kenneth_s girlfriend like that. Many people wouldn_t have gone through so much trouble without having some sort of...*ulterior* motive, but not you. I had no idea you were so...what_s the word I_m looking for?....chivalrous." she finished, letting him off the hook...temporarily.
Darting a quick glance at Willow, Xander
cleared his throat, "Uhh, I dunno..I just thought that
it was rude and insensitive, so I got revenge. I never miss
an opportunity for revenge," he grinned, "Besides, who needs
a reason to play a prank on Cordelia? She had it coming for
years...," the mischievous gleam retuned to his dark eyes.
"Revenge is a very dangerous business, Xander," Giles said sternly, "you really should_ve taken the poor girl_s feelings into consideration."
"Oh, like she did the same for me?" he shot back. "That is to say...." he looked confused, "Just forget it. Anyway, it isn_t a big deal, she_ll live, it_ll die down and no one will remember within a few days."
"So, Giles, any dark and scary bloodsuckers up for a special appearance tonight?" yawned Buffy, changing the subject.
"I certainly hope not, I_m getting a manicure today."
The group didn_t need to turn around to know who_d spoken those words. The door opened and Cordelia marched in, looking stunning-as always. She also seemed to be effectively over Xander_s annonymous little prank.
Willow regarded Cordelia_s perfectly matched dark jacket over a powder blue shirt with a black leather mini. The most impressive aspect was a pair of black knee-length boots which completed the whole "look". She sighed as she tugged at her own slightly oversized brown sweater over dark green corderoys. She secretly owned a pair of boots that looked quite a bit like the ones Cordelia were sporting. She_d bought them months ago, when Buffy had first come to Sunnydale. Only problem was, Willow had decided that the boots weren_t really...well.... her. It just wasn_t something that seemed to fit into her personality. < But *why* doesn_t it fit my personality? > she thought miserably. That and the fact that she still couldn_t walk in them. She_d practiced for a full hour in her room before trying to go downstairs with them on, only to twist her ankle at the top stair. She nervously smoothed out her copper colored hair. How was it that she *always* ended up looking so..well...frumpy...in comparison to Cordelia and Buffy. Even after a crying jag in the bathroom, Cordelia_s hair and make-up remained picture perfect.
Her outfit certainly wasn_t wasted on Xander who stood bolt upright the instant she walked in.
"Gee, Xander," Cordelia said, a mean smile playing over her lips, "Did you just have an accident or are you just happy to see me?..Or both?" she stared pointedly at his khakis.
Before Xander could answer, Buffy smiled unkindly at Cordelia, "Gee Cordy, I didn_t recognize you with your clothes on. Tell me, do you have any more glamour shots to share with us?"
Cordelia sneered at Buffy, "Original, very original. Don_t get all excited, I_m not staying with you losers anyway. I just came to..uhhh..change my...appointment... with Xander, to 4:00 instead of 3:00. I_ll expect you to be there," she ordered, glancing at him. Then she turned and stalked out.
"Appointment? What_s up Xander? You *tutoring* her or something?" Buffy said with an amused smile. < he deserves a little grief > she thought nastily, shooting a conspirative glance at Willow, who was absorbed in her own thoughts.
< Maybe I can just shoot myself...no, I_ll shoot him and then me...no, I_ll shoot her and then him and then me. > Willow thought murderously. < I mean, CORDELIA? Gosh, how gross. Not to mention the fact that I_m gonna have to hear about it afterwards. Why me? I mean, what cosmic dastardly deed did I commit to have to be punished into being the poster girl for unrequited love? I mean, I know I_m not beautiful, or even pretty, but isn_t intelligence and kindness and personality supposed to count for SOMETHING? Life is superficial. The person who deserves to get the guy in real life never does. I_ll be pining away for him to see me or just to notice me until I die a miserable lonely death with only my 80 cats to mourn me. > she thought cynically.
< God, stop being so overdramatic > she immediately chastized herself, but it was too late, the tears which had been threatening to surface were already welling in her eyes.
< Fine, he likes Cordelia. Fine, he loves Buffy. Fine, I_ll never get him. I_ve accepted it. But why does it have to hurt so much? Why can_t I at least get over it? > she cursed heavenward.
Buffy cast a worried glance in Willow_s direction, "Hey, guys, we_d better get to class." As if to emphasize her words, the bell rang.
Willow sniffed softly, greatful for the diversion. < Not that it matters, really. Boy-wonder wouldn_t notice that you were upset unless you broke a chair over his thick skull. > _Be nice_ she thought to herself.
Slowly picking up her books, she glanced over at Giles, "I_ll be back to help research after school, okay?" < Because, Lord knows, I don_t have a life > she added silently. Giles simply nodded.
Xander dutifully followed Willow and Buffy out of the library. < I_m worried about Willow, she seemed kind of upset.. > Xander thought absently. Then he started to ponder Cordelia_s leather mini and the rare thought was lost....
*****
Willow slammed the book shut in frustration and rubbed her aching eyes. "Arghhhh..," she moaned. She had been researching for the past hour. She checked her watch.
< Hmmm...3:30, only half an hour until the "closet rendevous" > she thought crossly.
"I hate her," she muttered.
"Who?" asked a familar voice from behind her.
Rolling her eyes heavenward, Willow gritted her teeth "No one you know, Xander," she responded.
"So, how_s my favorite girl doing?" he said winking at her flirtatiously and pulling up a seat.
< I should really just smack him. Maybe if I just whacked him over the head with this encyclopedia, he_d get it.... > She swallowed her irritation, "I_m fine, Xander. Hey don_t you have somewhere else to be..uhh... real soon?"
"Yeah, but I just came to check up on you, you seemed pretty upset this morning, wanna talk about it?" < you have 25 minutes > he thought, glancing at his watch.
For just a second, Willow_s heart skipped a beat. < I_m being too harsh on him, he really does love me-in his own way, and I wouldn_t trade this closeness for the world. >
"Well, it_s just all the research," she lied. "It_s been pretty intense lately, especially with the increased demonic activity. Giles says that there_s some sort of power flux in effect right now, he isn_t sure what_s going on, but Buffy_s been feeling tired lately and Angel has been pretty antsy." She felt sick being so deceptive to Xander about her feelings but her fear kept forcing her to keep her mouth shut. Why did this have to be so hard?
"That_s why I don_t read too much. _Ignorance is Bliss_, that_s what I say."
"Literacy goes a long way, Xander," Willow sighed. < What is up with me and sighing today? > "Maybe you should go, you don_t want to keep her waiting," she said softly, "I_ll be fine." < And i don_t feel like having you here with me when i start crying >.
He smiled at her "Y_know Wil, I have at least another 20 minutes and we can still talk because I really need some advice on my kissing technique-"
Willow couldn_t hide her mortification
this time, as her green eyes widened. Her
mind was automatically repulsed by the notion of having to coach Xander on how to seduce Cordelia.
< Unless of course he wants to *practice*.>
_Stop it_.
Luckily, before Willow_s nausea could fully take over, Cordelia entered the library.
"My appointment ended early, let_s go," she said simply without even looking at Willow.
Wordlessly, Xander got up and followed her out, stopping only to mumble a half hearted, "Bye Willow," just before the door slammed shut.
< Like a dog on a leash. > she thought irritably. < Bye, Mr. Man-droid >
She grinned in spite of herself. Leaning back lazily, she stretched, trying to shake off the raw feeling she always had whenever Xander was off with the Wicked Witch of the West. Between Buffy and Cordelia, Willow was in a constant state of emotional exhastion.
"WILLOW," shouted Giles, suddenly running out of his office.
Willow looked up, only to lose her balance and promptly fall backwards onto the floor.
Giles reached down and hauled her uncerimoniously to her feet, "Have you seen Buffy?" he asked desperately.
< Oh God, not you too, Giles > she thought. "No, no I haven_t seen her," < Story of my life >, "Giles, what_s wrong? Calm down....what is it? Demons? Beasts? Werewolfs? Is the school gonna explode in 30 seconds?" < Dare to dream >, "Don_t worry, whatever it is, we_ll help Buffy take care of it."
"No, no, you don_t understand, that_s the problem. Buffy *won_t* be able to take care of it. According to my journals, tonight, and for only tonight, Buffy will lose her powers as a slayer. Meaning, she_ll be as vulnerable as you or I. MEANING we_re utterly defenseless to any attack which might be launched by the Dark Side, MEANING the entire world is at danger, MEANING that Hellmouth might be cracked completely open tonight. THE FATE OF EVERYTHING RESTS ON SURVIVING TONIGHT."
< Gosh Giles is good at relating impending doom. He has just that right *something* in the tone and presentation which always makes me want to throw up by the end. I really should discuss this with him.>
Willow swallowed. Hard. "Uhh...don_t you think that this is just a *little* too important a piece of information to not be aware of until, well, NOW?" she shouted becoming slightly hysterical herself, "What kind of journals do you people keep anyway?" Her green eyes flashed indignantly.
"Well, this isn_t something that happens on a regular basis, Willow," Giles said, trying to regain his composure, "Conditions have to be perfect, and they haven_t been perfect for the past five hundred years. It_s a sheer miracle I found out about this in the first place. Apparently, according to vampire legend, there will be one fateful night when the designated slayer will be rendered vulnerable. This night only comes once every several centuries and is determined by certain facts about the current slayer. At first, I dismissed it as a possibility, but the more checking I did, the more I realized that a lot of factors fit. Buffy_s birthplace, her birthdate and the planetary alignment are all correct. It would certainly explain the increased vampiric activity, as well as Buffy_s increasing exhaustion. The night itself functions to determine whether good or evil will rule the next era. I t_s a time of cleansing, when the forces are equally balanced. The slayer_s loss of power is what completes the balance. I_m still crosschecking all of the data, because it *is* rather abundant. Unfortunately, the more I check, the worse it looks..." his voice trailed off. He looked down at her again, "However, there may be a solution...do you
know where Xander is?"< Why yes, he_s making out with Cordelia in a storage closet. > Willow cleared her throat, "Uhh...no, but I think I can find him."
Giles nodded mechanically, "Good, you go do that, maybe he knows where Buffy is..."
< He could probably sniff her out. > Willow quickly left the library and started running down the hallway. "So many closets, so little time.." she muttered.
"Looking for someone?"
Willow jumped. "Angel?" she whispered cautiously, not sure if she placed the voice correctly.
"Yes. Have you seen Buffy?"
< _Hi, nice to see you too._ Why is it that everyone seemes to be looking for Buffy ALL THE TIME? If I heard that phrase once more... > "No," she responded tiredly, "That_s who I_m looking for too. I guess you_ve come to tell her that she_s defenseless tonight against all evil in the world. How_d you get out here so early? It_s barely 4:00."
Surprise registered over Angel_s partially shadowed face. "Tunnel which leads to the school boiler room," he responded simply. "You know about the eclipse? Good. We still need to find her though. Perhaps we should find that obnoxious friend of yours to help us..Xander. Where is he?"
"Making out with Cordelia in a storage closet." Willow responded smoothly. She thought she heard the vampire chuckle.
"I see. Well, maybe *you* should find him, while I go try to find Buffy."
Before she could reply, he was gone. Willow looked around the empty hall. She rolled her eyes heavenward and started to run again. < I wish everyone was as desperate to find me as they are to find Buffy, I mean granted, in *this* case the fate of the world depends on it, but Buffy *always* seems to come first>.
"Hah," she whispered ruefully, "Willow Rosenberg, expert at wallowing in self-pity, even in the face of universal obliteration."
Regardless, she couldn_t supress the twinge of jealousy
she felt.
She slowed down abruptly and leaned forward.. < What *is* that? Talking? > Yes, she heard voices...nearby... coming from a storage closet. Willow_s heart slowly sank. Well, this was it. She felt sick already. She_d never really thought about what she was going to do once she found the right closet. How was she supposed to get to Xander? < Knock? > That was absurd. < Got any better ideas? > Well, she had to admit that she was devoid of any other option. Setting her jaw, she walked as calmly as possible up to the door and raised her arm to knock...she stopped herself. < Wait...why are they talking? I mean, if they_re doing what they_re..well..*supposed* to be doing then they shouldn_t be talking...should they? > She leaned in closely and pressed her ear against the door...
"..All I_m saying is that it was really a mean thing to do," she could hear Xander pleading with Cordelia....
"Look, it_s really none of your business since it_s not like you and I are dating or anything. God, don_t take things so seriously. It has nothing to do with you whatsoever, so get over it. Listen, if all you_re gonna do is yell at me, then I_m leaving, okay? I don_t exactly come here to talk......"
Willow gritted her teeth. Man oh man did she want to punch Cordelia for being so mean to Xander. How could she be so blind? He was incredible. Funny, Good-looking and brilliant, in his own way. He was courteous and gentlemanly and sensitive and sweet and....
"Why don_t you just go back with your skinny little girlfriend Willow, Xander? I can tell that that sickly little thing wants you."
"Willow? That_s crazy talk. She doesn_t feel that way about me. And don_t call her my girlfriend!"
..stupid so very very very stupid. And dense and oblivious, and moronic and completely self involved. Willow sighed. She banged her head softly against the door...
"Hey is someone knocking?" Willow heard Xander say, in a slightly frightened voice.
"This room is *occupied* okay? So get lost." Cordelia called in a haughty voice.
Willow felt anger surge within her, "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, I NEED TO TALK TO XANDER!" She yelled in frustration.
The door slowly swung open to reveal a highly annoyed Cordelia and an extremely embarassed Xander.
"World_s in danger, must come with me," Willow said in a tired voice. She felt the anger ebb out of her, only to be replaced by sympathy and embarassment for Xander. < *Why* do I have to be your best friend too? Damn, I hate this overractive conscience. >
Xander_s eyes widened "Geez...have you seen Buffy? I hope she_s okay.."
< BUFFY?..of course...of course....Buffy. Worlds gonna end, *I_m* the only one who cares enough to find you and to come and get you, and who do you ask about? Buffy. Buffy is a *slayer* and I_m the *computer nerd*. Who are you concerned about? Buffy. Buffy kicks vampire butt all the time and I can barely walk home alone past midnight without being injured, and who do you worry about being in danger?....Buffy. >
Something inside Willow had snapped. < *That* does it. > Her green eyes became darker until they were almost black. Then they narrowed into two dangerous slits. Xander gave a mildly confused look, which only deepend her anger. Giles, Angel, and the world be damned, she_d had enough. She could find Buffy on her own.
"Hey Cordelia?" Willow said in mock-sweetness, a dangerous edge to her voice which caused a chill to run up Xander_s spine, "Did you know that Xander posted all of those baby pictures of you, you know, the ones that are *all over the school*? He did it all this morning." She turned to Xander, "Wow, very enterprising Xander, I didn_t think you could get up that early. Guess you were *motivated*, huh?"
He gave Willow a horrified, panicked look and turned back to see Cordelia_s eyes doing the same scary thing that Willow_s just had. With that, Willow smiled sweetly and slammed the door shut, firmly locking it behind her.
"HOW DARE YOU????" Cordelia bellowed. "I AM GOING TO *KILL* YOU"
"Hey..hey...uhhh....Cordelia? Cordy? I can explain.. really I can...." Xander could see that judging from the look on Cordelia_s face, it wasn_t going to work, she wanted blood."WILLOW!!!" he shouted, leaping for the door, "HELP!!!" he banged on it and rattled the doorknob, but to no avail. Cordelia tapped him on the shoulder.
"Mommy...." he managed weakly just before her fist connected with his nose.
*****