I'm getting married tomorrow. I can barely believe it myself. But everytime I
  look in the mirror, my face tells me it's true. I have a glow to me,
  something similar to what I saw in Buffy all of those years ago, when she
  realized that she was married. Sounds strange, I know. It isn't.

  There's been so much to do! Things have escalated so quickly, it seems
  almost
  like a dream. I haven't written in a while, taking time out to record one's
  life is hard to do in the midst of so many changes. Oz left not five months
  ago on his record deal. We're all so happy for him.

  Oz and I had been apart for much longer than that, as I've stated in previous
  entries, but still Xander and I stayed apart out of respect for all that Oz
  and I were to each other. Out of all the Cordelia had been to him. Typing
  her name now hurts me-- I still don't want to believe that she died, though
  over a year has gone by. She had become one of my best friends and closest

  confidants. But we have had time to heal and grow, so when I now speak her
  name, joy accompanies all of the grief I feel. Joy over our friendship... And
  her life.

  But the time for mourning has past. I'm getting married tomorrow! I'll be
  Mrs. Harris... I don't think I'll ever tire of saying that.

  It will be a big wedding. I have everything arranged. I'm a little startled
  at how quickly we managed to set all this up... One month. One month of
  official engagement. But it's not like we didn't already know where our
  rapidly escalating relationship was taking us. We already knew what we
  wanted
  for ourselves; for each other.

  Let's see. How exactly can one express one's happiness? Are there words
  that
  can describe how I feel right now? I doubt it. I feel like an earthquake,
  shaking tremendously, and so nervous it's tangible. Yet I also feel like a
  tree-- appropriate-- a Willow. I feel calm and almost as if I'm radiating
  grace and beauty. That's what love does for you.

  Giles will be giving me away. My father is going to be out of town, which
  saddens me, but I understand it. In a way, I feel as if Giles *should* be the
  one to walk me down the aisle. He was always there for me, my father in
  ways
  that my actual father could never have been. Most likely because of the world
  I lived in an discovered with Buffy, but the reason doesn't matter. Even now,
  as he trains me to be the next Watcher, he guards me like I'm his own.

  As for that, Tracy will be my bridesmaid. She is a strong Slayer, and though
  I'm not officially her Watcher yet, I train her and like to think of her as my
  friend. She deserves a large place in my life.

  After Julia died, just like our well loved Faith, I remember acting like a
  petulant child, not wanting to accept death anymore--Too many people I loved

  had died already. But I soon *did* accept my duty, and Tracy along with it.
  She's already made all of us very proud. I think she might be almost as
  strong as Buffy. Of course, I always did like to think that Buffy got some of
  her strength from us. Tracy does not only remind me of Buffy physically, but
  emotionally and mentally as well. Something Buffy used to say-- A Slayer
  needs fire. That's what it is. This feeling of awareness that I've carried
  in me since so long ago-- this heightened consciousness-- tells me she will
  be
  great.

  Buffy will, of course, be my Maid of Honor. Or is it Matron? I can never
  remember. Not that it matters any; she will be standing at my side as I get
  married. And Angel at Xander's side. I still have to try not to laugh
  whenever I see them together-- they have such a good time, it's almost
  amusing
  to think that Xander once hated Angel.

  Even after-- After everything that happened (what I tend to think of as the
  real turning point in my life so far, my waking up at the hospital and what
  followed) Xander continued to stay cool towards him-- maybe not trusting
  Angel
  fully or just not forgiving himself. That is, until Angel asked Xander to be
  his best man at his and Buffy's official wedding. Then it was like Xander was
  suddenly melting under the intense warmth that Angel projected for him. I'm
  so pleased with the way things turned out.

  Buffy being my Maid of Honor is the only thing that feels right, as I was
  about to say. (I keep getting sidetracked. At this moment, Xander is sending
  me intentionally lustful looks across the table, trying to make me giggle. It
  almost works, but then I look back to the monitor. I'm trying not to think
  about tomorrow night-- another source of giddiness and nervousness for me.)

  Anyway, Buffy. Buffy and Angel. ( he's still looking at me! I can't think!)
  Oh yes! I've been researching for the reason as to why Angel has kept his
  vampiric strength and energy over the years since he's human, and last week
  I
  found it. Something along the lines of once someone has those powers, for so

  many years (I think it was over two hundred) they won't lose them. It's
  useful, especially in Buffy's line of work.>

  "Xander, stop that, I'm writing!" He chuckles at my red face and goes back to
  researching the monster of the day for Giles. I can't believe him sometimes!

  <There, better. He's stopped for now. I'm sure he'll start up again, but
  that's one of the reasons I love him like I do.

  Ohhh! I'm so happy! This was not at all what I thought it would be like. I
  can barely contain myself! It's overflowing out of me! My laughter bubbles
  up with no prior warning or reason, and I can't seem to stop smiling. The
  whole *mood* seems to be lighter right now-- Even Giles is smiling a lot and
  laughing at (some of) Xander's jokes.>

  "Willow, I'm going to patrol and then go home, okay?" Tracy asks. I nod and
  smile at her, once again feeling that pride when I look at her. She's rapidly
  becoming one of the strongest Slayers. Buffy gestures to me, indicating that
  she'll go with Tracy to supervise. They leave and my eyes watch the door
  swing shut before I returning to my typing.

  <The air is light and heavy at the same time. My heart is bursting. When
  Xander looks at me now, I can *feel* our love. Like something you could hold
  in your hand, it weighs heavily on my heart. I look at him, and I could swear
  I remember the first time we met, though our parents say we were just two
  and
  three years old. Maybe I'm just imagining a memory that has been told to me
  a
  thousand times... but somehow, I don' t think so.

  I remember the exact second I saw him. I remember him chasing other little
  kids around, his two or three extra inches giving him a huge advantage. I
  looked at him and my heart thumped. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he
  seemed so tall and strong and funny and neat. All of that, even though he was

  threatening to pour dirt down a little girl's shirt.

  I think he might have even felt my eyes on him-- he looked at me silently and
  dropped his shovel where he stood to walk over to me. My heart started
  beating very fast-- he was a neat kid! I couldn't seem to smile or move or do
  anything but fasten my eyes on him as he approached me. I studied him
  silently and knew immediately that he was only playing with the other kids,
  that he was nice, and if I didn't want, he wouldn't do that to me. When he
  was in front of me, he smiled softly. That first smile I ever saw from Xander
  was so lovely and sweet-- not so different from how it is now. I tried to
  smile, but still couldn't seem to move.

  He fascinated me, even then. I didn't want to do anything-- I think I was
  afraid he would disappear and I would never see that neat, interesting,
  wonderful boy again. He gently took hold of one of my braids and tugged
  softly, not enough to hurt, just to see what I would do. He flicked it away
  and it bounced off my ear. I think he was trying to get me to move. I cocked
  my head to the side, still studying him, not sure if I should be angry, but
  hoping he would stay with me.

  He suddenly scooped me into his arms, then, and squeezed me tightly.
  Finally
  realizing he wasn't a dream, I hugged him back. We continued to hug for quite

  a long time, only stopping occasionally to stare at our new treasures. My
  theory is, simply, that we completed each other then, filling a void we didn't
  know until that moment was empty. It's been like that since. It always makes
  me smile thinking of later, when our parents tried to separate us, how we
  screamed and held on to each other as if for dear life. As if-- As if we
  would not be complete anymore once we were divided.

  I was actually the one who gave him the name Xander. I tried to fit my mouth
  around that long word "Alexander," his full name, but I couldn't seem to.
  Xander just stuck, it simply suited him better. How did I know that then?
  Was it because I couldn't speak the word, or something else? Now, looking
  back, it seems as if this was fit inside of us so long ago. This
  unconditional love. Of course, how could a three year old know all this?

  Through everything, fights, tears, first kisses, other loves, hellmouths,
  fear, pain, loss and togetherness, he's been the one thing that could fill my
  heart everytime I was sad or lonely. Everytime I was empty, he filled me with
  his hand in mine or his laughter or just letting me lean my head on his
  shoulder. It's like, since that one moment, frozen in time, our hearts have
  been entwined. Our bond is so special.

  Enough of this-- I'm going to make myself cry, and the last thing I need
  tomorrow is puffy eyes! It's finally happening! I don't think, years from
  now, that this feeling will ever diminish between us. I'm so grateful for
  that! I'm signing off now.
  STOP>

  Xander comes over to squeeze my shoulders as I turn the computer off. His
  touch, so sweetly familiar and warm, makes my stomach tighten and I lean
  against him. Giles smiles at us warmly and goes into his office, either to
  give us privacy or to research something, I don't know. Xander leans down and

  kisses my temple.

  "I love you, you know that?" I smile at the simple, sweet question.

  "Yes, I know that. I love you too. So much, Xander." I turn my head and my
  mouth meets his softly, tenderly. He breaks the kiss slowly and looks at me
  with seriousness in his eyes.

  "I can't wait for tomorrow, Will, I really can't." I nod and my eyes well up
  again. Seeing my impending tears, he can't resist making me laugh and
  continues in a husky voice, wiggling his eyebrows comically. "Especially for
  tomorrow night." It works, and now I'm laughing instead of crying.

  I put my hand flat on his chest and push him away, but not before he gives
  me
  another sound kiss on the mouth. I grin and point to the door. "Go. It's
  nearing midnight, and you can't see me after that."

  He grabs my hand and kisses it before bowing deeply and walking out. I stare

  after him, a smile lingering on my face.

  From here, I can see my future. I love what I see.
 

  The End

  Once again, A huge thanks to Seren and Tracy for bearing with me as I write
  this. :)
 

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