Eigth Grade Cotillion
                                                   by Jules


  Author: Jules
  Email: Jstarr512@aol.com
  Title: Eighth Grade Cotillion
  Summary: A flashback told mostly from Willow's POV about the night of their
  cotillion.
  Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters, Milord Joss and company do. I
  just can't seem to stay away from them. I did borrow the name of "Aunt
  Emily" from River. Thank you so much!
  Feedback: Please... chocolate means nothing to me...

  Authors note: All it took was the nervous smile on Willow's face and the
  smile in her voice as she said "Remember the eigth grade cotillion... and
  your clip-on?" and my mind was awhirl. I hope you like my vision. Thanks so
  much to Rebecca for beta reading this for me. I hope you like it, girlfriend.



 

  Part 1

  Willow stood at her closet, chewing on a strand of auburn hair...
  contemplating her clothes. She considered telling her parents that she was
  sick, or had twisted her ankle or... she tilted her head to the side,
  considering, and then... no... she tossed out the thought as she tossed
  aside her hair. Willow was a very bad liar. Her parents probably wouldn't
  mind if she didn't go to the cotillion, even though it was a practically
  mandatory school event. But they would want to have a heart to heart with
  her about the reasons why, and that would be worse than going. She went
  back to looking in her closet, standing on one foot and then the other.

  She so wanted to look different. Her most secret of dreams, kept only in
  her heart, was that she would find a beautiful dress hidden in the closet
  that would make her look amazing, and would make Xander suddenly notice
  that
  she was a girl. Well, Ok, he already knew that she was a girl, but that was
  only when he was teasing her about frogs or spiders. Other than that, she
  was just a pal. Maybe there was hope, at least he didn't seem to like any
  other girl, she consoled herself, and she didn't know of any girls that
  liked him.

  Of course, how could she know that? She hardly ever talked to any other
  girls. She watched them at school, giggling and putting on makeup and
  talking about going to the mall. Every now and then she wanted to join in,
  but was far too shy to speak. Why did things have to change? She'd always
  been so happy when it was her and Xander and Jesse, her two best friends.
  But, now things were changing, and it wasn't them, so it must be her. She
  was lonely, and longed for something else, both with them and away from
  them. To make matters worse, there was no one that she could talk to about
  it. She couldn't even safely write in her diary because they knew where she
  hid it. She wished that she knew how to to talk to people and that she had
  more friends, she would love to have just one girl friend. One that she
  could talk to about fun and gossip and daydreams and Xander.

  She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear, going back to the matter at
  hand. What could she wear? Her mom wanted her to wear the one that she
  wore to her Bat Mitzvah, and it was pretty, but she'd worn it before. It
  wasn't magical, Xander had already seen it and it hadn't turned her into a
  princess. Maybe that was hoping for too much, but maybe... just maybe he
  might ask her to dance. She'd just gotten her braces off, she ran her
  tongue across her teeth happily, and she was going to wear her hair up and
  oh! if only she had a pretty dress... She lifted her foot up behind her,
  scratching at her ankle, absentmindedly.

  Just then there was a slight tapping at her door. "Honey, can I come in?"

  "Sure, Mom." Willow turned around to face her.

  Her mother poised halfway through the door. She had that enthused look on
  her face, the one usually reserved for birthdays and surprise trips to the
  museum. "Your Aunt Emily heard about tonight and sent something to you.
  She said that she hopes that you like it, and that she hopes that all your
  dreams come true." Willow sighed, the only dream she wanted to come true
  was that Xander would ask her to dance... Her mom was holding something
  behind her back, and Willow held her breath. <Please let it be something
  wonderful, because I have to act excited, anyway, I can't disappoint her>
  Her mom pulled her arm around to her front, and there it was... the dress.
  It was gorgeous. It was a pretty deep green, just the color of Willow's
  eyes, with satin trim. It had a high waist and a skirt that looked perfect
  for swirling, and there were tights and a purse and shoes.

  Willow smiled her sweetest Willow-smile. "Wow... oh, Mom, wow..." Her
  mother smiled, saving up the details of her cherished only daughter's
  expression to describe to her sister, and silently sent a whisper of thanks
  to her. She loved her daughter so much, and it was so hard to watch her
  painful shyness. Thank goodness for Jesse and Xander. She blossomed
  around
  them, and maybe going to the dance with them, she would open up and have
  a
  good time.

  Willow and Xander and Jesse were all going together. The boys figured that
  there was strength in numbers, and no one had asked Willow. Jesse had
  asked
  a couple of girls, but after a particularly scathing rejection by Cordelia,
  he decided not to try any more, and just have fun with his pals. Xander's
  mom was driving, picking up Willow, and then Jesse. She was glad it was
  going to be that way. For just a few moments, she'd be able to pretend that
  she and Xander were going together.

  Part 2

  Xander knocked on the door, knowing that the Rosenbergs would have the
  camera warming up, ready to go snap happy. He tugged at his collar
  uncomfortably, snapping off one side of his clip-on tie, so that it hung a
  little crazily. Willow answered the door, and blushed. <he looks so
  handsome in his suit and tie, Oh... it's loose> Unthinking, she put her
  hands up and clipped it, tightly.

  "Um, thanks, Will." What had his mom said to do? Oh, yeah... "You look
  nice." He stopped and peered at her closely for a minute. "You're not
  wearing sneakers." Well, the sneakers thing wasn't part of what he was
  supposed to say, but she wasn't wearing them, and it was the first time that
  Xander could ever remember that she wasn't. In his mind it was worth
  noting. About a thousand pictures later, they escaped into the car to pick
  up Jesse. Willow spent the next 10 minutes in heaven. Xander had paid her
  a compliment. Maybe he was noticing after all!

  For the next couple of hours, poor Willow was not anywhere near heaven, and

  she was mostly trying to hold in her tears until she got home. They were
  sitting on the bleachers away from the other kids. Xander and Jesse were
  kidding around and trying to outdo each other with stupid guy tricks.
  Willow played her normal part, watching on and smiling. Sometimes they
  would get up and talk to other people and then come back and sit near to her
  teasing her and telling stupid jokes. It didn't take her long to realize
  that they didn't really have any intention of dancing, and no one else asked
  her. Her cheeks burned in humiliation.

  When they weren't paying attention, Willow let her gaze wander out over the
  floor watching her classmates. They were talking by the punchbowl or
  swaying roughly in time to the music. She felt so out of place. She
  watched Cordelia laugh at something that Chris said, flipping back her hair
  with one hand, and laying the other on his shoulder. <Wow. How did Cordy
  learn to do that? Was there a class? Did I miss it?> Little known to
  Willow, at the beginning of the night, more than one boy was drawn by her
  eager winsome face and big hopeful eyes. As they got closer, though, and
  just as her heart would start to pound and her palms would start to sweat,
  they always veered off and asked someone else. <Whenever they get close
  enough to see my face, they leave. The dress is pretty, but I must look
  hideous.> Towards the end of the evening they stopped coming over at all.
  She looked over at Xander, who was obliviously getting more of the snacks at
  the buffet. <Well, at least one of us is happy. There's free food, after
  all.> She choked back a laugh, afraid that if she let it go, it would come
  out as a sob. I'm the only girl here who hasn't danced. She looked back at
  the dance floor, mortified.

  The DJ was announcing that the dance was almost over, as Xander crossed
  the
  floor towards her, doing a little goofy dance-walk. He stopped dead in his
  tracks, caught by Willow's enormous wistful eyes. What was going on?
  Willow was unhappy! He *hated* it when Willow was unhappy! It made his
  stomach go all funny and made him want to hit someone, which was weird
  because he usually never liked to fight. Xander tried to think this
  through, which was not his specialty... Ok *why* would Willow be unhappy?
  He and Jesse knew how she hated talking to strangers and so they had made

  sure that no one asked her to the dance, so that they could take care of
  her. They had sat with her all night, either one or the other of them,
  goofing off and scowling at other boys, keeping them away... Wait... It
  hit him like a flash. Oh no! What if Willow actually wanted to dance? She
  might be nervous and scared and dread it, but maybe she really wanted to be
  out there with the other kids on the floor. What could he do? He looked
  around desperately, ready to force one of the boys that he'd previously
  driven away to go and ask her to dance, but they'd all either left already
  or were dancing. Jesse was over by the punchbowl, trying to let on that he
  wasn't watching Cordelia. Xander felt trapped and out of time, and Willow
  was unhappy! He had to do something, now.

  Well, he thought... I know it's not what she wants, but maybe it would help
  a little bit if I dance with her, anything to brighten up those sad eyes.
  His decision made, he sprinted over to her and skidded to a stop, suddenly
  unsure. "Um... Will... you wouldn't want to... I mean, um, would you
  like to dance? I mean, the dance is almost over, and all, and we could..."
  He trailed off, kicking at the floor and then lifted his eyes to her face.
  Her eyes had indeed brightened and her face lit up. He was so relieved.
  They walked out to the dance floor, not touching, and when they got out
  there, they put their hands in the dance position they'd learned in classes,
  clumsily doing a box step. They were about as far apart as two people could
  be and still be dancing together, but Willow didn't care. She was
  dancing... with Xander.

  It only lasted for a couple of minutes, but she kept it in her heart, for
  always. Her first dance with Xander! The nervous anticipation and the
  whole horrible lonely night were worth it.

  When the song ended, they dropped their arms, silently.

  Almost immediately afterwards the DJ announced the last dance, and it was
  a  fast one. Jesse came bounding out on the floor and he and Xander kind of
  bobbed her in between them, making her laugh. This time the sound reaching
  her heart, and not just the surface cover up sound she had been doing the
  rest of the night. She felt sparkly and fun and joyous. Ok, so she wasn't
  a princess, and maybe Xander hadn't fallen in love, but there was time. She
  knew now that dreams could come true if you wished hard enough. She was
  only 13, and she was with her two best friends in the world. Things change
  and people change and maybe even they were changing, but she would
  always  have them. Nothing bad could ever really happen as long as they were
  together.


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