If grief for grief can touch thee,
  If answering woe for woe,
  If anything can melt thee,
  Come to me now!

  I cannot be more lonely,
  More drear I cannot be!
  My worn heart throbs so wildly
  'Twill break for thee.

  And when the world despises,
  When heaven repels my prayer,
  Will not mine angel comfort?
  Mine idol hear?

  Yes, by the tears I've poured thee,
  By all my hours of pain,
  O I shall surely win thee,
  Beloved, again.

  - Emily Bronte
 
 
 

  Willow was curled up in a chair in front of a fire reading a book.
  Or rather she was trying to read a book. What she was actually
  doing at the moment was staring blankly at the page in front of
  her, the words not registering in her mind because her mind was on
  something else. Someone else.

  < Angel. >

  Willow sighed heavily. He was constantly in her thoughts. It had
  been over a month since she left Rome and she couldn't find peace,
  it eluded her. Any sense of contentment she had found when she
  destroyed her demon was erased by her longing for Angel. Angel's
  friendship had been the bulwark against all the feelings that
  plagued her now. She had thought that when she left Sunnydale she
  was exiling herself, but now she knew what true exile was. The
  future stretched out in front of her and it seemed awfully bleak.

  But she had had to leave Angel. Just as she had had to leave
  Sunnydale. Not only was she thinking about Angel's happiness, she
  had been thinking of his safety. The Anointed One, it seemed, would
  continue to haunt her. She couldn't let Angel become a target, not
  if she could help it.

  When Willow had left Rome she knew that she had to do it in a way
  that would make it almost impossible for the minions of the
  Anointed One to track her. She had quickly planned everything
  before leaving. She made out a ticket under an assumed name and
  rented a small, cozy cottage in a remote part of Ireland. And
  remote it was. There was a village about an hour from her which she
  went to for supplies every now and then. The villagers were
  interested in the American girl with sad eyes and a mystery that
  seemed to surround her. But she ignored the gestures that came more
  out of curiosity than goodwill. She kept to herself and tried to
  keep busy. She had her garden, her books, her computer. And her
  memories.

  The problem was that too many of her memories seemed to include
  Angel. The very littlest things reminded her of him. Even now she
  was thinking of one of her favorite memories, of nights they had
  spent over a keyboard as she tried to teach him about computers,
  his face alternating between concentration and adorable confusion.
  When he got a handle on some difficult programming point, his face
  would light up with a sense of achievement. But he would always
  immediately acknowledge her patient tutorage with a characteristic
  humbleness. The fact that he had never took her for granted was
  only one of many that made her fall in love with him. For he was
  one of the kindest men she had ever known. He was gentle, fiercely
  loyal, considerate, and had a sense of humor that matched her own
  in subtlety. His sly observations had more than once made her laugh
  out loud. Willow could go on and on about his good qualities. And
  it certainly didn't hurt that as Buffy once said he did indeed have
  an Angelic face.

  < And body. >

  Even alone Willow blushed at the waywardness of her thoughts. Then
  she put her book away and stared into the fire. It was going to be
  one of those nights when she couldn't even pretend to be anything
  other than she was - lonely. And missing him so much. She hadn't
  even considered the idea that it was possible to miss him more than
  when she had first left, but as the days and weeks passed she
  realized that it wasn't getting any better. The months that she had
  spent with him had forged a love within her that wouldn't lessen.

  A knock at the door to her cottage broke her revelry. < Who on
  earth can that be? > Willow thought grabbing a weapon. She
  cautiously opened the door and then let it swing back as she gaped
  in amazement.

  "Angel" she breathed.

  "Did you think I'd never find you?" Angel's expression revealing
  nothing of his churning emotions.

  "I…I-I don't know what to say," she stuttered still not believing
  her eyes. It was as if she had just wished him here.

  "How about come in?" he said lightly, but all the while drinking in
  the sight of her.

  "Oh, of course. Yes. Come in." Willow stepped back allowing him
  entrance.

  Angel crossed the threshold and immediately swept Willow into a
  huge hug. His arms around her felt like they would never let go.
  Smelling his own particular 'Angel' scent, Willow's face buried
  itself against his shoulder and she felt like she'd come home.

  "I've missed you Willow," Angel murmured into her hair. "This last
  month without you has been hell."

  Willow felt a burst of happiness go through her. She had to
  throttle the excitement caused by his words.

  "Why Willow? Why did you leave?" Angel demanded. < Why did you
  leave ME? >

  Willow suddenly lost some of the warm, fuzzy feelings as she
  fumbled for a clear explanation. "You did get my letter, didn't
  you?"

  Angel took a step back at that point and Willow felt bereft. "Don't
  tell me that what you said in the letter was the only motivation
  you had. I've thought about it endlessly while I've been searching
  for you. Something had to have sparked your leaving."

  "You spent all this time looking for me?" Willow asked a little
  thrilled and impressed by his persistence.

  "Yah. You did a really good job in covering your tracks. I didn't
  even have a clue until yesterday where you went."

  "So how did you find me?" she asked curiously.

  "First, I want to know why you left," Angel insisted. "Was it me?
  Did I do something..."

  "No, of course not." She interrupted him almost indignantly.

  "It's just that before you left you were so distant," he explained
  insecurely.

  "I am sorry about that." Willow said softly. "I tried to apologize
  to you that night before Dante showed up and I never finished. I
  was really self-absorbed, but it was just that I was-was trying to
  work some things out."

  "What things?" he pressed.

  "It's not even important now. They had nothing to do with you," she
  lied. But Willow knew she owed him more of an explanation. Taking
  his hand she lead him to the couch in front of the fire. Settling
  down she told him tentatively, "I didn't want to leave you. I
  decided that it was for the best though. The night Dante attacked
  us, he told me some things while we were fighting. The Anointed One
  was still after me and you were in danger just being with me."

  < Her motivation had been for my safety, > Angel thought as things
  began to make greater sense to him. "But you know that I can take
  of myself," he argued.

  "I couldn't put you in that situation. And besides I also wanted
  you to be happy." Willow's eyes were looking everywhere except at
  his face.

  "You never gave me the chance to make my own decision," Angel said
  frustrated.

  "No. I didn't. Because I know you. You would have stayed with me no
  matter what, because you are one of the most loyal, self-
  sacrificing people I know," Willow asserted. "It wouldn't have even
  seemed an option for you to leave to go back to Sunnydale."

  "So instead you decided to leave and make the decision for me," he
  concluded.

  "It was the only way. At least one of us would be able to have what
  they really want," Willow said wistfully. < Even though what I
  really want is you. >

  Looking down at her hands which were clasped tightly together,
  bravely she continued, "Now that you've found me and seen that I've
  been o.k. here, there's no reason that you can't go home to
  Sunnydale."

  Angel tensed. < Is she trying to get rid of me? I didn't think
  that...No. I have to convince her, because I-I can't be without her
  again! > He was going to have to convince her of that. So he began
  purposefully, "Things change, Willow. I didn't expect things not
  too. There's nothing there for me anymore."

  Willow's head snapped up. The implications of his words whirling
  around in her mind. "What are you talking about? Isn't Buffy
  there?" she asked.

  "She's still there and she's fine. I-I saw her when I went back to
  Sunnydale. I went back though because after searching all over
  Europe for weeks, I didn't have any idea where to look for you
  next. I would never have been able to find you without Ms.
  Calendar's help. She's the one who traced you. While I was there I
  saw Buffy. We talked but it wasn't the same. Like I said before, I
  didn't expect it to be."

  Angel paused for a moment, afraid of what he was about to tell her
  and how she would react. He didn't dare look at her as he
  continued. "I know how you feel about Xander, Willow, so this might
  be hard for you to hear. I suppose that my coming back made Buffy
  realize that she was holding onto her feelings for me even after
  she moved on. Buffy isn't in love with me anymore because she…she's
  in love with Xander. They had fallen in love this last year without
  realizing it. But they realize it now."

  He looked up then to see her face. Her eyes expressed such sorrow.

  < He left Buffy to help me and now he's lost her. How could she do
  that to him? How much more is Angel supposed to lose? > Willow
  thought compassionately and her eyes became glassy with tears.

  Seeing those tears and mistaking their cause, Angel was shattered.
  He couldn't even look at her at that moment without revealing all
  in his eyes. He leapt up from the couch and stood leaning against
  the fireplace mantle, his back to her so that she couldn't see his
  pain. "Do you still love Xander that much?" he asked.

  "I suppose I'll always love him," Willow replied truthfully.

  Although anticipating it, nevertheless, Angel felt like he had been
  delivered a blow. His hopes for Willow reciprocating his feelings
  dimmed and sputtered like a guttered candle. < At least I haven't
  made a total fool of myself by confessing my undying immortal
  love. > He could almost groan at himself for the picture that
  would have made.

  The dejection that showed in the posture of his body made Willow
  want to reach out to him. She wanted to confess that while Buffy
  may not love him anymore, she certainly did. But there was very
  little consolation in that she supposed.

  Quiet stretched between them, during which Willow heard a noise
  outside. Becoming more distinct, Angel turned around and they
  looked at each other. < Two visits in one night? I'm a popular
  girl. > Willow thought uneasily hurrying to a window. What she saw
  outside turned that uneasiness into fear. For there were vampires
  surrounding the cottage.

  Behind her Angel tried to assess the danger. "How many of them are
  there?"

  "I don't know. Too many! It looks like at least half a dozen."
  Willow was terrified now.

  "At least they can't get in," he pointed out reassuringly

  "No." Willow said smelling the kindling of fire. "But they can burn
  us out."

  It wasn't long before smoke started to fill the interior of the
  cottage. Since neither of them had to breath, the smoke wasn't a
  problem but the flames that were engulfing the house would be.

  "We have to take our chances out there or we'll die in here!" Angel
  shouted above the roar of the fire. Taking Willow by the hand,
  Angel charged out of the burning building.

  The vampires outside were waiting for them. Before Willow was even
  fully out the door, she was hit forcibly in the head. She fell
  headlong and turning back Angel fought her attacker. But there were
  too many of them. As Angel was occupied by two of the vampires,
  three others were already seizing a dazed and hurt Willow. Quickly
  they hauled her into an awaiting van.

  Angel struggled to contain the panic as he realized Willow was
  being taken away. He fought his way toward her, but he was attacked
  by yet another vampire.

  "Kill him. We have the girl," the leader called out to the
  remaining vampires before the van drove quickly off.

  "Willow!!!!!" Angel cried out desperately.

  "You're too late," one of the vampire said arrogantly. "She's gone.
  And you're next."

  The four remaining vampires circled Angel like a pack of wolves and
  attacked. But Angel was beyond angry. The taunting words snapped
  him into a frenzied wrath and he let loose his demon with all the
  ferociousness of an avenging fury.

  "Welcome, come on IN!" Angel said throwing two of the vampires
  bodily across the threshold and into the burning building behind
  him. Screaming the vampires writhed burning and joining the ashy
  remains of Willow's cottage. Angel instantly turned on another of
  the vampires and literally rent him limb from limb. His savagery
  made the last remaining vampire back away about to flee, but Angel
  caught him as well.

  The demon in Angel begged to give this one the same treatment as
  the last, but he curbed the impulse and instead snarled, "Where did
  they take her?"

  The vampire wasn't quick enough with an answer and Angel punched
  him, hissing "If I were you, I'd answer the questions. If you
  don't, I promise you that you'll be begging me to stake you when
  I'm through with you."

  Angel shook the vampire like a rag doll. "Now again, where is she?"
  he yelled.

  Seeing what had just happened to his companions, the vampire was
  sufficiently aware of just what Angel was capable of and he was
  scared enough to babble quickly, "They're taking her back to the
  Hellmouth, to the Anointed One."

  "The Anointed One sent you?" Angel said this more as a statement
  than a question, but the vampire wisely answered anyway.

  "Yes."

  A gnawing suspicion flared in Angel's mind and he asked, "How did
  you find her?"

  "We-we followed you here from the Hellmouth."

  Angel's eyes went wide as his guts seemed to twist inside him. He
  was responsible for this. They had Willow and it was his fault. <
  How could I be so stupid! I lead them straight to her. >

  "Why does the Anointed One want her so badly?" Angel nearly
  screamed in bewildered anger.

  "I don't know." The vampire cowered as Angel motioned menacingly
  toward him and babbled, "Truly, I don't know! All I know is that
  he wants the Unslayable One at the Hellmouth. I was only told that
  it had to be before tomorrow, before the 21st of July."

  Angel nearly let go of the vampire in his shock as he realized what
  that day was. July 21st, the day after tomorrow, was the day the
  Anointed One had made Willow into a vampire. It would be her first
  anniversary as a vampire.

  < Dear god, don't let him be planning what I think he's planning! >
  Angel prayed.