Angel dug his hands deeper into his pockets as he headed towards
the
Bronze. He had checked on Buffy, and she was doing fine. Besides,
for
once, it felt wrong to be lurking. He thought that maybe in
the Bronze,
he might not feel like such an intruder.
His eyes scanned the Bronze, as they always did when he entered,
for
any signs of a threat. He might pretend to be human, but he
was still a
predator at heart. A faint smile came to his mouth as he saw
Willow
sitting alone at a table. She was staring off into space, and
stirring
her drink incessantly. He slipped into a corner, and continued
to watch
her. The pretty hacker seemed almost... sad. Willow was the
closest
thing he had to a friend. While he might... feel for Buffy,
it was
impossible for them to be truly friends, especially with the
Slayer/Vampire thing in front of them. Xander was a rival for
Buffy's
affections, which ruled him out, and Giles... Angel smirked.
Giles was
still wary of him, and worried that his relationship with Buffy
would
get her harmed, or worse, killed. No, Willow was the only one
even close
to being a friend to him, his first friend since he had been
a boy back
in Ireland.
He moved towards her, a smile coming to his lips as he saw how
happy
she seemed to see him. She sat up straight, a smile coming to
her lips,
and even from here, he could see the light dancing in her eyes.
"How are you, Willow?" he asked as she looked up at him. <She's
so
little...> He motioned as to whether he could sit, as he examined
her
face. She seemed pale, but her face lit up with a smile, as
she quickly
nodded.
"Good. If you're looking for Buffy, she's out patrolling." she
told
him.
<She seems surprised that I'm here. Doesn't she know that
she's the
only one I can really talk to...> Angel felt a smile curving
his lips.
He didn't know what it was about Willow, but he had a hard time
being
aloof around her. It was almost as if she DEMANDED he participate,
and
that there wasn't any way around it.
"I know. But vamp activity is pretty low right now. So she'll
be fine."
He didn't mention that he hadn't felt comfortable around her.
"I thought
that since Xander was away, you might like some company." He
saw
Willow's face explode in happiness. <What is it about that
boy? He
always seems to make her unhappy.>
"I could always use company. Especially since I rarely see you,
and you
rarely talk, and we really..." Angel felt another smile tugging
at his
lips. Willow was so... normal. It was nice. He noticed her look
down,
and he could sense the blood rushing into her face, even though
he
couldn't see it. And he heard her mumble, "And I really should
be quiet
now."
Angel chuckled softly. "It's alright, Willow. I don't mind if
you
babble. It almost makes me feel... normal." And it did. And
that scared
him. He wasn't normal, and never would be. He had to remember
that.
"You are normal," Willow shot back at him. "In a..." Willow sputtered
to a stop, realizing how silly her statement was. <So quick
to defend
other people, even against themselves...> "Ok, you're not normal.
You're
special, and you deserve to feel happy." Angel grunted at that,
a
discordant negative sound. He didn't deserve to be happy. After
all he'd
done, he didn't deserve happiness, or the second chance Willow
was
trying to offer. "You do," Willow insisted. "You're a great
guy, and a
great friend. You help people, and if it weren't for you, Buffy,
Xander
and I would probably be dead." Angel had been growing more and
more
uncomfortable as she went on, and couldn't help what he said
next. It
was pure instinct.
"Don't say that."
"It's true," she said softly. <No, it's not!> screamed something
inside
him. <You're cursed, and will never do anything truly good
again!> "And
I want to thank you for it."
Angel looked at her, all his guilt and sadness reflecting in
his eyes.
He had to get out of here. She meant well, but she didn't understand...
"I didn't do anything." He glanced around the Bronze, while
desperately
trying to control the emotions raging through him. When he realized
that
he couldn't, he moved to get up, while muttering, "I should
go."
Willow put a hand on his arm, and he turned to look at her. <So
pure...> He thought, as the lights glinted from her hair. <Like
an
Angel... An Angel sent to torment me...>
"Angel, I'm your friend, and I'm always here for you. Remember
that,
ok?" Willow looked so hopeful. <I can't let her down... Even
after all
she's seen, she's so innocent... How can I not react to that?>
He gave a
quick nod, and headed for the exit to the Bronze.
He needed space, without the people crowding around him. He ended
up on
the roof of the Bronze. It was always tranquil there, even with
the
noise filtering through from below. He thought back to his conversation
with Willow. 'Angel, I'm your friend...' Friend. He hadn't had
a real
friend in... centuries.
Perhaps... Perhaps this time would be different. Perhaps he could
really
have a friend again. It might be a futile hope, but then again,
what
else could he do, but hope?
Fin