Willow:When I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or witty, or at all. I can usually make a few vowal sounds-then I have to go away.

Cordilia: Ok so, how do we save it?
Willow: Deliver
Cordelia: Deliver, where's that? (hits del.)

Mr. Giles: Why would anyone want to hurt Cordelia?
Willow: Maybe they met her. Did that just come out of my mouth?

Xander: "What are you vixens up to?"
Willow: "Just sitting here, watching our barren lives pass us by. Oh look, a cockroach."

Xander: "Dreams are meaningful."
Willow: "Sheesh, tell me about it. The other night, I dreamt that Xander--uh, it wasn't Xander. I-In fact, it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream, and she doesn't remember it."

Willow (about Oz): "It's nice. He's great. We have a lot of fun. But I want smootchies."

Buffy: "What guy could resist your wily Willow charms?"
Willow: "At last count? All of them. Maybe more."

Cordelia: "What's his problem? Oh, that's right, he's a guy."
Willow: "Yeah, him and Xander. Guys."
Cordelia: "Who do they think they are?"
Willow: "Couple of guys."

Willow: "So, I'd still, if...you'd still."
Oz: "I'd still? I'd very still!"
Willow: "Okay. No biting, though."
Oz: "Agreed."

Willow: "I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew it' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know! You two were fighting way too much, it's not natural!"
Xander: "I know it's weird--"
Willow: "'Weird'? It's against all laws of God and Man! It's...Cordelia, remember? Th-the We Hate Cordelia Club of which you are the Treasurer!"
Xander: "Look, I was gonna' tell you."
Willow: "Gee, what stopped you? Could it be shame?"

Xander: "We were just kissing. It doesn't mean that much."
Willow: "No. It just means that you'd rather be with someone you hate...than be with me."

Buffy: "Go ahead, you know you want to say it."
Willow: "My boyfriend's in the band."
Amy: "Cool."
Buffy: "I think you've now told everybody."
Willow: "Only in this hemisphere."


Giles:"Yes, I must consult my books."
Xander:"Oh, 8 minutes and 33 seconds. Pay up! I called 10 minutes before you'd consult your books about something."

Xander:"Yo, G-man, what's up?"
Giles:"Nice to see you, and don't ever call me that

Buffy:"Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood."
Xander:"It actually kind of turns me on."
Buffy:"I fear you."

Cordelia:"Why are these terrible things always happening to me?"
Xander:(cough) "Karma!"(cough).

Xander:"Yeah, I'll whittle stakes."
Willow:"And I can research stuff."
Xander:"And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune."

Buffy:"And, uh, what culture are you?"
Xander:"I'm from the country of Leone. It's in Italy, pretending to be Montana. And where are you from, the country of white trash?"

Xander:"Oh, ye- I, uh..."
Buffy:"I can translate American salivating boy talk. He says you're beautiful."
Buffy:"You're welcome."

Xander:"Hey, Will, that's a fine boo you got there."

Xander: "It's time for me to act like a man. And hide."

Xander:"Ok, on sleazing extra candy: Tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the "you missed me" routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate."

Xander (to Cordelia): "Just meet me at Willow's house in half an hour and wear something trashy...er."

Willow: "Sorry. I wanted to surprise you."
Xander: "Good job! High marks."
Willow: "Don't be so jumpy. I've been in your bed before."
Xander: "Yeah, but Will, we were both in footy pajamas."

Cordelia: "Well, does looking at guns make you wanna' have sex?"
Xander: "I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna' have sex."

Xander: "I laugh in the face of danger! And then I run and hide until it goes away."


Xander: "I thought I heard something."
Cordelia: "Is-is Willow sending out some sorta' distress signal that only you can hear?!"

Cordelia: "Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain. Spank your inner moppet. Whatever. But get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna' have the loser friends you've got now."

Cordelia: "This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his side, the Slayer's a basket case, I'd say we've hit bottom."
Xander: "I have a plan."
Cordelia: "Oh, no! Here's a lower place."


Oz: "Oh look, monkey. And he has a little hat, and little pants."
Willow: "Yeah. I see."
Oz: "The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen."
Willow: "..."
Oz: "So I'm wonderin', do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped, like it's the hippo going, 'Hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity.' And you know the monkey's just, [French accent] 'I mock you with my monkey pants.'


Oz: "Sometimes when I'm sitting in class -- you know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen -- I think about kissing you, and it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage."

Oz: "Oh, I'm not gonna' kiss you."
Willow: "What? But...freeze frame!"
Oz: "Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous, or even the score, or something. And...that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait." It was this quote right here that made me love OZ.

Oz: "A werewolf in love."

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