Barney/BJ VS PJ/Ord
By Robert Brown and Trevor Lake
All characters copyright their respective owners
"Well here we are again for another grand tag team war. While final
adjustments are being carried out to our tank, why don't you tell
everyone who's up today, Trevor."
"Well, everyone, we have the hated dinosaur team of Barney and BJ on one
side. Hated as they are though, BJ has had considerable success so far
in the junior division. Their opponents across from them are two guys
in their televised top tier debuts, in PJ from the Extremely Goofy Movie
posse, and Ord out of Dragon Tales. Ord's had a televised match before,
but that was in an amateur tourney."
"It should be noted here that this is an unusual match in that one of
the competitors is in the adult leagues while the others are in the
juniors. You might think that Ord and PJ have a bit of a handicap here,
but I've learned not to underestimate either one of them."
"And we're off! Both teams have splashed down, and they're going right
for each other, not going for any elaborate strategy early on. Geez, I
don't think I've seen too many guys swim slower than PJ. He's like a
snail out there, almost."
"Slow, but dangerous Trevor. And he's been decently successful with it
thusfar. And it looks like he'll try BJ out while Ord moves to pair off
with Barney. What are these dinos thinking though? They can't match
strength with these two!"
"Well, problem is that they haven't really encountered anyone that can
match them in strength yet, and they seem to have not compensated for
fighting their present opponents. The one advantage they do have
though, as the two teams finally clash with each other, is teamwork.
They're experienced enough together that they have more of a bond than
PJ and Ord."
"And here we see the first instance of it as Barney and BJ switch
opponents before the first blow lands. PJ and Ord look a little off
balance from the sudden switch, and both get caught by a vicious
headbutt. That seemed to wake them up."
"Neither of these two are going down without some kind of fight, at
least. But what is this now? They're both trying to bearhug their
opponents?! This early in the match, this is lunacy..."
"And they got headbutted themselves, forcing them to back off. I always
thought those dinos were the most thickheaded around, but it seems like
I was wrong."
"Now, PJ is grabbing Barney, and punched him hard in the gut. He's got
him on his shoulder somehow, and PJ's turned on his belt, coming down
hard 5 feet in a great powerslam move! Ord is dealing with BJ by
dealing with a big double axhandle over the top of his head, and BJ is
tumbling down, with Ord close behind."
"Oh man! Ord missed his divebomb! BJ could finish him off here, but
no, he just charged into PJ, knocking him off his partner. I don't know
how wise that move was, especially since Ord has BJ around the neck now,
choking him down. Barney's trying to help, but he's just not able to
clear the cobwebs fast enough and PJ is starting to choke him down now."
"All our combatants are down on the ground now. Well, PJ has just let
go of Barney, and has turned on his own belt. Now he's walking a few
feet off. He's charging in... (Large crunch sound) He just came down
with a massive veritcal splash on Barney!"
"I can't believe Barney survived that, and it doesn't look like PJ does
either. He's backing off again to do another one, but Ord's waving him
off. BJ's nearly gone, but now that Ord's let him go, he's trying to
recover. What is Ord up to?"
"Well, noone ever accused Ord of being real smart... I think he's trying
to motion for PJ to drag Barney on over there. PJ gets the hint and he
shrugs, but decides to anyway. Hmm... (Wait a few moments) They've sat
Barney and BJ up, backs to one another. Neither one seems ready to
resist anything... what is our throw-together team about to do?"
"Uh oh, you don't think....they couldn't.....they wouldn't....well, this
is why we had the glass reinforced. But I'm going to duck and
cover...just in case."
"You're darn tootin' they would, Robert. Both have set their butts on a
dino's face... (Huge explosion-like sound is heard) The two of them
have just unleashed a huge tandem fart on the dinos! The crowd is going
absoultely crazy!"
"*from under the table* They wouldn't be going crazy if we hadn't
thought to reinforce the glass. They'd all be dead as the force of that
explosion shattered the glass into powder."
"6 minutes on the dot is the official time of this battle, as PJ and Ord
score a fairly quick team victory here over Barney and BJ. Oh-oh...
Ord's standing over BJ's corpse... God, don't tell me he's going to do
this again..."
"OK, this needs to be stopped. *talks into a walkie-talkie* Someone
get in there and stop him, this is too far. No I don't care what the
crowd thinks! Enough's enough! Or do you want to be the one who digs
out the bodies?"
"Give me the thing. (Robert hands over walkie talkie to Trevor) You
guys stop that dragon, or two words (goes into Vince McMahon voice)
YOU'RE FIRED! What... oh, great. Too late... (cuts talkie). Ord
already buried BJ's body the same way he did Tyg's. I don't fuckin
believe this..."
"Trevor, we're still live, watch the language here, the FCC is getting
on us... OK, now PJ's looking like he's thinking about it. *grabs the
walkie talkie back* Somebody get in there or I'll make sure you're all
their next opponents! *watches figures scurry toward the tank* That
worked."
"Thank god.... and it looks like PJ can't really seem to do it anyway
too well, and now Ord's laughing at him, and PJ's gotten mad. There's
our men, finally getting in there and breaking them up... what a night."
"I don't know about you Trevor, but I'm taking a couple aspirin and then
heading to bed. Wrap up here, would you?"
"Sure, Rob... good night, folks. Not in the mood for a decent good-bye
tonight."
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