Simon VS Lickety Split
By Trevor Lake and Robert Brown
Characters copyright their respective owners
Trevor: "Welcome, everyone, to our first fully televised fight in, well,
ages! Trevor along with Robert here, always good to be here. Today, we have
the debut of a promising young newcomer. Step up, Rob."
Robert: "From the children's show, 'Ants in Your Pants,' comes Lickety, a
rather unusual monkey who is competing in his first televised fight.
Opposite him will be one third of the band known as The Chipmunks, Simon.
Why don't you tell everyone the rules of today's fight, Trevor?"
Trevor: "Very simple, full gear is here for this one, so the breathhold
factor isn't as big here. Now, this should be fun. Simon isn't exactly
regarded as any real force down here, but he's put up against an obscure
kid's character in his very first fight. Very interesting indeed."
Robert: "Very much so. As might be expected, Lickety looks very nervous as
we get ready to start here. It seems that Simon has already picked up on it
and seems to be smiling to himself under his regulator. Think he'll take
advantage of it?"
Trevor: "Simon will grasp at any straw, here, Rob. Doesn't matter if it's
some new guy or what. They're going for each other, but Simon is hanging
back a bit, letting the overanxious monkey make the first attacks, dodging
them easily. Ow... the chipmunk just delivered a shot right under the arm!
Painful as hell there."
Robert: "Absolutely. I caught Simon reading up on acupressure as a way of
striking out on pressure points. And from how Lickety's shaking out his arm,
looks like he learned his lesson well."
Trevor: "Yeah, he swimming away some now, forcing Simon to come in at him
now. I just hope he doesn't plan on copying what Simon did. By the way, why
the hell is Lick wearing his overalls in there? Thoughts, Rob?"
Robert: "Well, I have heard some tale about how he plans on using them in
this fight. I don't see how though. But I did see that knee connect to
Lickety's gut! He almost lost his reg on that!"
Trevor: "So did everyone else. I bet Lick did too... and now Simon has
grappled with him... repeated knees! Simon's trying to knock out his
opponent's air source here, and drown him quickly... monkey in peril, folks."
Robert: "Yeah, but I think Simon moved in too fast as Lickety just shoved
him away. Uh oh, I've seen that look before folks, and it does not mean good
things for Simon. Seems our rookie just got over his stage fright."
Trevor: "Simon's not clueless though, and he's diving below a punch from
Lickety, and is grabbing his ankles, and reaching to turn off his air! No
good, though, and Lick punches him off."
Robert: "Simon's looking a little confused here. This is obviously not how
he was expecting it to go. And now Lickety's moving in fast, fists flying.
Simon's dodging best he can, but it looks like he's about to be cornered."
Trevor: "Sigh... and another fight goes fatally wrong for Simon Seville, as
monkey boy is now beating the living hell out of him. Somehow, I don't think
Simon's cut out for the singles division."
Robert: "Unfortunately so. And Lickety sure seems to be getting into this
fight, really enjoying the beatdown he's putting on Simon."
Trevor: "Yeah, it's always a thrill the first time you have someone's live
at your mercy... but now, Lickety's grabbed his opponent and is picking him
up... he's turned him around so his head is pointing down, and it looks like
he's gonna piledrive him... wait. He's shoving him into those overalls?!
And now that he's stuffed him in there, he's holding him like a bearhug to
hold him in place! Simon's struggling hard in there."
Robert: "No way....he's not. Oh crap.....literally."
Trevor: "Well, he's not crapping, sensors would tell that... this guy's no
Ord... but he may be farting in there. Simon's struggling is lessening..."
Robert: "Or it may be that he's just letting his natural body odor do the
trick. Whatever he's doing, it's certainly effective as Simon's body goes
limp."
Trevor: "And there's Simon's final bubbles coming out of there, as Lickety
releases the hold. Look at the gleam in his eyes as he watches Simon float
out of there, Rob..."
Robert: "I think this monkey likes what he's done. We've definitely got
another good fighter here folks, and at a time of seven minutes flat, he may
become a force to be reckoned with soon."
Trevor: "And with that we sign off. Have a good night, folks!"
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