Teddy Ruxpin VS Yogi Bear
By Trevor Lake and Brian Sapinski
"Ladies and gents, Trevor here again to bring you another exciting match
in Standard League competition today, with a good looking matchup in the
works between Teddy Ruxpin, and Yogi Bear, in a normal mask and snorkel
contest. Helping me again is Brian. Good morning, Brian."
"Yes, good morning, and we have another interesting matchup ready to
start here. Here are two guys who really try to avoid the fight, but
hold their own in almost any situation imaginable. Being quick thinkers,
we'll see how outfoxes who."
"And it looks like we'll find out in a hurry as both guys dive in. This
is basically bear against bear in this contest, even if Teddy refers to
himself as an Illiop. Yogi has more strength, but Teddy tends to be
more cool, in my view. In any case, the two of them are jockeying for
position some feet away from each other, to see who breaks first."
"And even from this distance, you can see some of the things that we
just talked about. Yogi seems a little more edgy to make a move here.
Teddy's just kind of slowly swimming around, almost stalking to make the
first move."
"They have to be careful in this situation to not size up too long,
especially the one with the lower breathhold, which tests indicate is
Teddy. But Yogi doesn't seem to care about this, as he's now trying to
charge for an area just slightly above and in front of his opponent.
Let's see what happens."
"Now Teddy begins his approach, and the two meet quickly. Yogi tries for
a quick kick, but a nice block by Teddy. Now Teddy's trying to reach up
and grab Yogi's feet to pull him back down to his level."
"Yogi's just a little too strong for that at this point in the fight
though, and he's just nailed Teddy with a double axehandle, which sends
Teddy down about a foot and a half. Yogi's quickly moving down to try
to make a quick finish out of this fight."
"He's got Teddy dazed enough that he can really combo up. No, check
that, Teddy snaps out of it quickly and spins behind him as he comes
down. Yogi misses with his charge and now Teddy grabs for him in a full
nelson."
"Teddy's got the move locked in pretty good... if he can keep it up, he
might have this. Oh oh... Teddy's face is straining hard... he's been
forced to let go of the move and come up for air! Too bad for the
Illiop. Yogi's in hot pursuit though."
"Teddy makes it up quickly and takes his breath. He's scanning for where
Yogi is-- too late! Yogi reaches up from under and pulls the same ankle
grab Teddy failed with earlier. And Teddy almost took in a mouthful
right there."
"Yogi managed to take his breath, as well, so they both have refilled
lungs. Teddy, thinking quickly, met Yogi with a major elbow to the
head, and now Yogi's the one disoriented. Teddy's now trying to set up
what looks like a triangle chokehold. I think this is his finisher,
folks. Can he slap it on?"
"Yogi sees it coming, and he quickly kicks off, he wants no part of that
one, folks. Now he's taking a side stance and waiting to see what Teddy
does next."
"They're still not very deep, only about 10 feet from the surface.
What's this... I'm surprised to see this, now Teddy's taken the
offensive, making a charge of his own. But Yogi just cooly dodges it.
Now what... what the bloody hell?! Yogi just whipped a picnic basket
out of nowhere! Does he intend on having a light snack mid-match?"
"No way, Trevor. He showed me this before. That basket is loaded. And
he's fixing to take a swing at Teddy with it and end this himself. He's
got the opening, he's waiting for Teddy to turn around..."
"Teddy turns around, and Yogi swings.. but misses completely as Teddy
must've had that one scouted and ducked at the last moment. Yogi swung
a complete 180, and he's a bit dizzy. Teddy's going for that triangle
again... and I think he's got it locked in!"
"Yogi's lost the basket, his hands are in no position to pry Teddy off.
He's shaking for some opening, but Teddy's got it locked in tight. Now
Teddy's got the legs wrapped, too, and is really applying the leverage.
And there's the snap, Yogi's passed out from his arm ripping out of its
socket. This one is over!"
"I have to admit, I'm surprised Teddy had the grapefruits to rip a man's
arm out of the socket. This fight went about 6:30. And we gotta go,
everyone! Till next time!"
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