BY SOLO
EPISODE TEN
EPISODE TEN
{It's the tenth anniversary
special}
- Applause
Thankyou! Thankyou! Yes,
everyone it's a big show this evening so
sit back and relax. Put your feet up, get a pack of Tim
tams and a glass
of coke - or hot chocolate, coffee or whatever strikes
your fancy (or
whatever you have left in the fridge) and read on...
When we last left our heroes,
Tim had been confronted by Bob back
in the torture cavern...(you know the one like the batcave??)
well,
we're going to leave Tim there for now and continue with
out remaining
trio who were, when we last saw them, heading off down
the corridor
leading away from the cavern.
"Hey Richard, you've got
no shoes." Paul said suddenly and pointed
at Richard's bare feet.
Richard wriggled his toes.
"I know Paul." he said slowly.
Paul was about to comment
but Solo caught his eyes and frowned,
shaking her head. Paul ignored the warning. "You've got
ugly feet Rich,
I mean your feet are so ugly that they remind me of my
sister's feet.
Did I ever tell you that Mum used to grate my sister's
feet over the
lasagna?"
"Yes, Paul." Richard replied
patiently. It was best to wait him
out when he got like this.
"Yeah Rich, your feet
are so ugly that they look like a jigsaw
puzzle that has been put back together wrong."
The three had started
walking again. Solo and Richard ignored
Paul.
This annoyed Paul even
more. Paul suddenly stopped. "I know the
truth Richard...I know the truth."
"What do you know Paul?"
Richard rather foolishly asked.
"Don't encourage him Rich,"
Solo groaned but it was too late.
"I know that you hate
me, Richard. You both hate me and Tim, Tim
hates me too."
"We don't hate you Paul."
Richard attempted to placate him but it
was definitely too late.
"No, you hate me and I
know why. You hate me because, because I am
an object of sexual affection."
"You're not an object
of sexual affection." Richard muttered.
{Oh well actually }
Solo almost butt in but
held back.
"Yes, you hate me because
I am an object of sexual affection but
you especially hate me because you also know my terrible
secret. You
know that I am also...an escort for hire. Yes you hate
me because I am a
sexual object and an escort for hire."
"We don't hate you Paul."
Richard said again but Paul ignored him.
Paul ran around and stood in front of Solo.
"Funny girl, funny girl...you
hate me because not only am I an
object of sexual affect and an escort for hire but because
I am a
paranoid schizophrenic mass murderer." Paul began to
cry.
Richard looked at Paul
in disbelief but Paul went on.
"Yes you hate me because
I am an object of sexual desire and an
escort for hire and I am a paranoid schizophrenic mass
murderer but you
hate me most of all because...because I have a rabid
case of genital
herpes." Paul broke off and began to howl, scratching
himself madly.
Richard just looked at
Solo, rolled his eyes and then stepped
around Paul and continued down the corridor. Solo shrugged
her shoulders
and followed Richard.
Paul stared after them.
He wiped his eyes and then trailed after
them slowly...still scratching.
*****
"I'm Bob and I've got a
problem."
Bob and Tim stared at
each other from across the room. The light
from the chandelier glinted off Bob's RED boots.
"As a boy," Bob began
as a creepy psycho-like music began to play,
"I used to catch bugs and pull their wings off, Timothy...but
I didn't
stop at bugs. When I was eight I was catching spiders
and pulling their
legs off. At ten I was catching mice and pulling their
legs and tails
off. At eleven it was rats, at twelve, pigeons. At fourteen
I caught my
first kitten...that was fun. It squealed for forty-seven
minutes before
it died. At fifteen, I caught the next door neighbor's
pet dog...it was
a poodle. It lived for one hour and twenty-five minutes
before it died.
At sixteen I set my first record for killing a human....
Three hours,
sixteen minutes. My record is now sixteen hours. Want
to help me break
the record timothy?"
While Bob spoke, Tim had
slowly backed up across the room. Now he
stopped, placing the electric chair between himself and
Bob.
"Well Timothy? Do you
want to help me set a New World record?"
In reply, Tim jumped forward
and grabbed a handful of electrodes
from the chair, he quickly ran around Bob, tangling him
in the
electrodes.
Pushing Bob away, Tim
ran to the console in the middle of the room
and pushed every button on the panel.
Sparks began to fly as
the electrodes around Bob began to
overload. Suddenly there was a loud explosion.
Bob was thrown backward
by the force of the explosion and landed
in the small trough of water. Bob stared in panic for
half a second.
"I've got a problem,"
he said before the electrodes wrapped around
his small, slight, balding frame began to spark even
louder and burst
into flame. Bob's body began to jerk wildly and vibrated.
Finally the sparks died
down and the smoke cleared. Tim moved
closer to the trough...he knew from experience that even
when there was
no possible way Bob could have survived, he always did
some how.
Bob's body lay face down
in the water. He didn't move.
Tim turned away and took
a deep breath.
Then he heard the splash.
Spinning around quickly,
Tim watched din horror as Bob slowly
clambered out of the bloody water. "For god's sake,"
Tim exclaimed. Bob,
his face hideously scared and burned, grinned and his
outstretched
burned hands reached for Tim's arm.
"Die Bob, die." Tim pleaded
and reached out with his free hand to
grab the rope tied to the rock wall beside him.
Tim untied the rope and
released it.
There was a loud snap
from somewhere above their heads. Bob looked
up and watched as the giant crystal chandelier dropped
from the roof.
Bob looked back at Tim.
"I'm Bob, and I'll be
back." he said before the chandelier struck.
Tim was thrown to the
floor as glass and crystal shattered and
flew all across the room, mysteriously missing Tim in
the process.
When Tim finally looked
up, all that could be seen of Bob were his
boots that lay exposed underneath the chandelier.
Tim stood up and brushed
himself off. "Thank god that's all over."
he muttered.
Suddenly the room was
filled with the strange buzzing of an
electronic good-witch-of-the-north sound.
Tim felt his feet tingle.
Looking down he watched his black boots
disappear from his feet to be replaced by Bob's bright
RED boots.
Tim looked back to bob's
feet visible beneath the remains of the
chandelier. As he watched, Bob's holy stocking feet slowly
curled up and
disappeared under the crystal shards.
Tim shrugged his shoulders
and headed for the door - "I wonder how
Paul, Richard and
Solo are doing?"
Behind him, the chandelier quivered slightly.
*****
Paul, Richard and Solo
passed another huge sign that was posted
alongside the corridor wall. This one was different from
the others they
had passed.
Previous signs said...
"Dattaway," or "Dissaway"
or "To find time machine go past go,
collect $200." or "Step over this line to go further."
But this new sign caused
our trio to stop.
Solo read the sign aloud.
"The following signs all
lie however the arrows MAY point in the
wrong direction."
"What the hell is that
supposed to mean?" Paul demanded.
"Well, we won't know unless
we keep going," Solo said.
They moved further down
the corridor.
"Oh s hit" Solo muttered.
Up ahead the corridor branched out in
three directions. Posted at each smaller corridor was
a sign.
"Which way?" Richard asked.
Solo read out the signs.
At the right most corridor the sign on
the signpost read..."Time machine not up left or center
path - Time
machine ahead."
The signpost at the center
corridor read, "Time machine not up
left or right path, Time machine ahead."
The signpost at the left
corridor read, "Time machine not up any
path."
The arrow at the left
corridor pointed straight ahead, the arrow
at the center corridor pointed to the right and the arrow
at the right
corridor pointed to the center.
"I dunno Rich. The previous
sign said that the arrows may not tell
the truth but that the signs will always lie."
"Well, I reckon it's this
one." Paul said pointing to the center.
"I think it might be the
right path." Richard suggested.
Paul and Richard looked
at Solo.
"Well how the hell do
I know?? I'm only an Arts student. I'm not a
logical person but I
Guess the left corridor."
"Well, we need to find
the machine so why don't we all go in a
different direction and that way at least one of us should
find it?"
Richard suggested.
"But won't that be dangerous....
What will happen to the other
two?" Solo asked.
Paul gave her a dirty
look.
"Chicken?" he teased.
"Get stuffed, Paul." she
replied. Solo looked at Richard and then
back to Paul. "Well, good luck fellas!" she wished before
heading off
down the left corridor.
Paul watched Solo disappear
down the darkened corridor...he had a
pensive look on his face, when he realised Richard was
watching him he
shot him a dirty look before plunging down the center
corridor.
Richard watched the other
two with a scared expression on his
face. But the other two were counting on him. He took
a deep breath and
walked slowly down the right corridor.
Did Paul choose the right
path? (Okay he chose the middle path but
is it the right, I mean correct path?)
We know Richard chose
the right path, but is the right path the
right path?
Or did solo chose the
correct path by going left?
Where the hell is Tim?
Will there ever find the
time machine???
STAY TUNED...
Solo