BY SOLO
EPISODE 20
Thank you thank you and welcome to the twentieth anniversary special of DAAS KAPITAL REVIVED brought to you tonight from the computer terminal at Solo's parent's house also celebrating it's tenth year anniversary. Yes here we are and who would have thought it…twenty episodes of a television show that never made it past fourteen.
{And the author is not getting paid for it!!!
>From now on maybe I'll charge $1 an episode? Donations anyone??
The author is collecting for Solo's retirement fund?? The Keep Solo
Writing Fund?? No maybe not, if I did that then no one would read
it any more…
Remember I do accept bribes and any other form of payment,
cheque, cash, eftpos???
Hello??
Where'd ya all go???}
When we last left Solo, she was…we lets face is, she hasn't
bloody well moved an eyelash for over four episodes now - so when we last
left
the three lads, they were huddled around Solo trying to think of any
way to wake her up. Tim had come up with an idea…oh I'm sorry Tim!
A
"great" idea and had run off.
Tim returned with an alarm clock.
"Yeah good idea Tim." Richard said and watched Tim
wind up the clock. Paul groaned - "that'll never work!"
*****
The band had settled down to play some old rock and roll
numbers, "Staying alive" and "Grapevine" followed by "Misunderstood", "Hound
dog" and "Broad Lic Nic."
Solo wandered around the empty dance floor - hey this
is my dream so why aren't their any blokes here to ask me to dance? She
wondered.
Suddenly an ear-shattering clanging pierced the air.
The band broke off and looked confused.
The ringing seemed to be getting louder and louder - Solo
looked around in Alarm.
Then she noticed the telephone on a small footstool at
her feet. She bent down and snatched the receiver off the top.
"Hello?"
She listened for a few minutes and then hung up.
She looked over to the band. They all made curious
noises.
Questioning her about the call.
"I dunno. Wrong number!" she replied.
*****
"Tim, Tim, Timmy, Timothy! Turn that damn thing off, it's
not waking her up but it is giving me a head ache!" Paul yelled and
picked up a
small sledgehammer from where it rested near the wall and smashed the
alarm clock to pieces.
"Ohhhhhhhhh!! Why'd you have to do that Paul? Now
how is Richard going to get up in the mornings?"
Richard looked at Tim in horror, "My alarm clock?? You
took my alarm clock??"
"Now, now Richard…Paul was the one who smashed it!"
Richard glared at Paul.
"I don't care pus for brains," Paul said to Tim, ignoring
Richard's look. "It didn't wake her up!"
They all turned and stared at Solo.
Paul pulled a paper bag out of his pocket - This has worked
before!!
*****
Solo looked around the empty ballroom and listened to the
band play. She was depressed! She wanted to dance, but seeing
as how there weren't any males or hell, anyone else in the room, she began
to dance by herself.
Suddenly a car, a little VW bug appeared out of no where.
It skidded crazily on the slick dance floor and spun out. The
driver somehow managed to regain control of the vehicle, straightened the
car
and pressed the accelerator. The bug backfired loudly.
In fact, it was sooooo loud that Solo jumped involuntarily.
*****
She didn't wake up.
Paul put the popped paper bag back into his pocket.
He looked at the other two.
Anyone got an idea?" He asked.
******
The bug came to a stop directly in front of Solo.
The driver's door swung open and a balding, strangely dressed little man
climbed out.
Except this time, he wasn't dressed in the tights, frilled
neck and puffy shirt he had been in when she had first met him. Now
he was in
tights, a puffy shirt and a frilly collar and sleeves all in a royal
blue…He looked like a king right out of an old pantomime comedy.
He
also wore a high powdered white wig - it was powdered purple.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Not more purple dust!!!!
Solo coughed as the dust drifted off the wig and circled
in the still air. (Circled in still air - well, what do you expect
it is a dream
after all!!)
Flacco bowed like a gentleman and in his very high pitched
ear piercing, eye-watering voice asked her very politely if she would like
to dance.
As she had had no other offered…she accepted.
Flacco swung her out onto the dance floor and immediately
stepped on her foot.
"Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Behind them, the bug disappeared.
From somewhere above them, thunder sounded.
Suddenly, Flacco pulled out a giant bright pink umbrella
and flicked it open. He raised it above their heads just as it began
to rain.
Rain?
"Thank you." Solo whispered.
"Sall right!" Flacco replied.
The rain continued for several seconds, then, just as
suddenly as it had started…it stopped.
Flacco put down the umbrella and spun Solo around the
dance floor.
*****
Tim lowered the bucket. Solo and Paul were soaked.
"Hey pencilneck…You could have waited until I got out
of the way!"
Paul angrily stated, jumping to his feet.
Tim grinned, "Could I?"
Paul stalked to Tim, and ripped the now empty bucket out
of his hands.
Richard raced back with a little hair dryer. Plugging
it in, he began to move it over Solo's sleeping body…behind him Paul proceeded
to
hit Tim over the head with the bucket.
Solo slept on.
*****
Suddenly a hot wind picked up.
Within moments, Solo was holding on to Flacco for dear
life.
"Don't let go!!" Flacco cried.
"I wasn't planning to!" Solo cried back struggling
to be heard over the screaming wind. She felt her feet lift off the
ground.
What now???
Will the boys succeed in waking Solo in the next ep?
Why is Solo dreaming of Flacco?
What is the significance of Solo dancing alone at the
start of the ep?
When will regular readers begin to guest star?
Is everyone getting sick of DKR yet?
Does Solo care??
STAY TUNED….