Carl had left two hours later with the promise to return after dinner with the twins. Rachel was lying in bed talking to Felicia when Dr. Bryn and Dr. Staunton entered her room. "Hey, I need to go. My doctors just showed up." Rachel announced.
"Sure honey, talk to you soon," Felicia responded as Rachel sat the phone down.
"How are you feeling?" Dr Bryn asked as she flipped through Rachel's chart.
"Like I have been pulverized by a meat tenderizer," Rachel retorted with some bitterness coloring the words.
Dr. Bryn nodded, "The pain will pass."
Rachel looked hard at the doctors, "Why did you do this to me? Why wasn't I given the choice?"
Dr. Staunton stepped forward and looked into Rachel's gaze, "I'm sorry Rachel. The uterus is highly vascular during pregnancy. When you ruptured you were loosing blood at an astronomical rate. Our first priority is your life and your child's life. Once we got Aubrey out we had to make the split second decision to either try and repair the damage or to remove your uterus. The tear was jagged and you were bleeding out. We made the quick decision that in your case it would be better to remove the organ than risk complication from trying to repair it.
"It's only been in the last few years that doctors have even tried to repair the damage done in a rupture. The only reason they now try is this happens mainly in women who attempt to give birth after a cesarean section. These women are normally younger women who have many reproductive years ahead of them. You had told both of us in our offices that you wanted to have a tubal ligation when you had surgery to deliver Aubrey. You had made it clear that you did not wish to run the risk of another pregnancy however unlikely it would have been."
Dr Bryn sat down in the chair, "Rachel we took your wishes regarding this matter in mind when we made the decision to go ahead with the hysterectomy. We really didn't have time to come out and ask Carl if this is what you'd want. We had to staunch the bleeding or loose you."
Rachel spoke softly, "It really was a matter of life or death? My Life or my death?"
"Yes, Rachel it was. I know that you are having a hard time adjusting to this. I am sure that if you had been asked you would have said go ahead. It's just the shock of everything that happen," Dr. Staunton answered making a notation in Rachel's chart.
"I would have. I don't know what I feel right now. Everything is so confusing," Rachel answered.
"It's understandable Rachel. You came in trying to prevent the birth of your baby only to wake up and find that not only had you given birth but also had your womb removed. I'd feel much as you do if it happened to me. That's not much consolation I realize," Dr. Bryn said as they walked towards the door.
"Thank you for making the situation a little clearer," Rachel replied.
Dr. Staunton smiled, "I'll be in to sign your discharge paper's in the morning. Dr. Scott tells me Aubrey is up to 3 pounds 11 oz. Sounds like she'll be going home soon as well."
Rachel smiled as they walked from the room. As soon as the door closed she dissolved into tears. She didn't like that she was crying like she was. It was not something she usually did. Crying jags were foreign to her. The only time she had cried at the drop of a hat had been when she was going through the emotional aftermath of learning of her rape. Even those times had frustrated her. She was angrily wiping her eyes when Donna and Vicky burst through her door pouring on exuberant happiness that made Rachel feel physically ill it was so annoying.
"Rachel, you look wonderful," Donna sang with falseness.
"Donna, get real. I look like death warmed over."
Vicky stared wide-eyed at her, "Rachel?" she asked quietly. "Is it true? Is Ryan really alive?"
Rachel's eyes softened, "Yes, honey he is. He's at the towers with Carl, Andrea and Daniel."
"Who?" Donna asked
"Andrea is Carl's daughter and Daniel is Justine's youngest son." Rachel answered waiting for the shocked expressions.
"WHAT?" Vicky yelped.
"Call Ryan, Vicky let him explain. I was too drugged to get all the particulars when they were trying to explain it."
"The baby? How is she?" Donna asked trying to get on a different subject.
"She's gaining weight and breathing on her own. I started trying to nurse her yesterday. She doesn't have a good sucking reflex yet."
"That's good I suppose. I'd never nurse myself. It seems unseeming," Donna answered pulling a card from a group of flowers.
"Donna didn't we have this very same discussion after the twins were born? I feel the same now as I did then. Your reservations are purely your own," Rachel responded as Vicky sat down in the chair looking lost.
Rachel saw her, "Vicky, I know how you are feeling."
"How can you?" Vicky asked sadly.
Rachel smiled knowingly as she realized Vicky wouldn't know about Steve. "I was married to Mac. We were having problems much like you and Jake are having. Amanda and Matt were babies. Mac and I though we loved each other were fighting like cats and dogs. And in the mist of all this tension Steve Frame turned up in Bay City. He had supposedly died 5 years earlier after he married the love of his life Alice Matthews."
"Jaime's father?" Donna asked.
"Yes, I always thought I was in love with Steve. He was all I ever wanted and I was so angry when he married Alice. Then Mac swept me off my feet. But then Mac and I were fighting and here the love of my life was back from the dead. I gave up everything to be with Steve again. I was running away with him to marry when we had a car accident and he was killed. I walked away with minor injuries. It was only after it was all said and done I realized I didn't love Steve Frame... at least not the way I thought I did. I loved the thought of Steve Frame. It took four years but Mac and I finally found our way back to each other. I never regretted anything more in my life than throwing what I had with Mac away when Steve came back. Don't do anything you'll regret Vicky."
Vicky cast her eyes downward, "Rachel, I regret marrying Jake. I have regretted that even before I had Maddy. Maddy was my attempt to save my dying marriage."
Rachel shook her head, "I'm sorry."
"So am I. Jake and I were best friends. If I walk out of my marriage I'm afraid I'll lose him forever. I never stopped loving Ryan. I never truly believed he was dead not even after I dreamed I married him in heaven," Vicky answered softly.
"Death is always hard to accept," Donna spoke up.
"That it is, Bella, " Carl said as he came in the room.
"Hello love," He said gently kissing Vicky's cheek. "Has Rachel told you?"
"Yes, she has. We better go," Vicky replied standing as Donna gave her a surprised look.
Carl bent and kissed Rachel's cheek, "Take a look at our Kitten as you leave. The curtains to the neonatal nursery are open."
Donna touched Carl's arm, "We will. Congratulations."
As soon as they left, Carl sat down on the bed and pulled a rose from his lapel pocket, "Evening my love."
Rachel smiled and shook her head as she too the rose from his fingertips, "Where are the twins?"
"In the waiting room down the hall with Amanda," he answered.
"Amanda?"
"Yes, shocking development. She insisted that she should come with me."
"Help me up and we'll walk down there," Rachel said as he took her hand.
Together they slowly walked to the maternity ward waiting room, where Amanda sat sprawled on the floor with the twins playing with toys around her legs. She looked up with a smile, "Mom!"
"Hey," Rachel said as she came in the door and the twins squeaked with joy.
Carl quickly gathered the grubs up in his arms before they could attack their mother in their excitement at seeing her.
"Your up and walking. Going to the apartment soon?" Amanda asked as she tried to get up off the floor, which was no longer easy.
Rachel sat with difficulty on the sofa, "Yes, Dr Staunton said I was being released in the morning."
"That's good. Mom, I'm sorry about how I acted after Aubrey was born. Crying over a stupid house when my mother nearly died."
"Your father meant a lot to you Amanda. The house was in a way the last remnant of Camelot for you. You must know Amanda, that as long as we remember Mac he will never truly be gone."
"I know, I'm very selfish at times. No one can ever take Daddy away from me. I just forget that."
"I know, believe me I know. Amanda you're a grown woman with 2 children to think about. Maybe the burning of the house will help you let go of the past and move on with your life. It is time you did so."
Carl spoke up, "I had everything that could be salvaged from the fire cleaned and put in storage."
Rachel was surprised; "Not everything was destroyed?"
"No, the downstairs suffered from water damage mostly. The room where we lived was destroyed. He used an excellerant. The rest of the lower level escaped fire damage. The Cory Family bible, Mac Picture, your jewelry that was in the safe, were not destroyed."
"Are you going to rebuild there?" Amanda asked quietly.
"I don't know Amanda. Maybe it's time for us to move on as well," Rachel answered.
Carl let Adam slide to the floor; "I was looking at the aerial survey of the grounds. How would you feel about rebuilding on our hill? There is an access road that leads to its foot that can be extended to the top."
Amanda looked away with sad eyes but said nothing.
Rachel smiled, "The hill where we made love?"
Amanda gasped.
Rachel smiled, "We didn't get three children by osmosis Amanda."
"Yes, love," Carl answered chuckling.
"Just what I wanted to have a visual of, my mother making love. Yuck," Amanda commented as she got a cracker out of the diaper-bag for Elizabeth.
"Oh grow-up Amanda, just because I'm your mother does not make me celibate. You'll be my age someday soon and you'll realize how ridiculous your thoughts are."
"I know, but I still rather not hear the details of your sex life. Thank you very much," Amanda answered with a smile. "Eww someone needs a diaper change. Mom, I'm glad everything is working out."
Amanda swung Adam up into her arms and head out the door before Rachel looked at Carl, "Is it possible that she may just have aged 10 years overnight?"
"Time will tell, " Carl answered as her as he held gently placed Elizabeth in Rachel's lap.