Some changes propel you forward into magical, yet untrod paths. Others are merely the first twist in a whirling spiral of confusion and self-realization. Nancy Grahn and her GH alter ego Alexis Davis are both in for some life-altering turns - one of them for the better, one for the worse. But both are preparing themselves themselves for the challenge.

Grahn's personal news is jpyful: She is expecting her first child in the spring. Because it's her first pregnancy, she says she;s feeling inundated by untaped emotions and new thoughts.

"Emotionally, psychologically, and spirtually it's an asset to be older and wiser and more settled," Grahn says. "It's more meaningful because I've waited longer. All the decisive words that say 'I want this, I'm ready for this, I know that I can do this' - the appreciation level certianly goes higher."

Now that she's five months along in her pregnancy, the actress says she's feeling very well and full of energy. But she admits she can't say that for the first trimester. She didn't get sick, but was (all she puts it) "very, very tired and very hormonal."

Since she's having her first child after 30, her doctor recommended a CVS, a procedure that gives the mother a lot of critical information early on. "The magazines do scare the begeezes out of you." Grahn says,"A lot of that information in inappropriate. You really need to research your pregnancy.

"You don't want to have a child when you're 50, at this point," she adds, "but there is more of a leeway than we think. My first trimester, I walked around as if I were carrying gold. It's such a precious thing to you. But the stigma they put on you because you're a high-risk pregnancy if you're over 21 is alarming."

Grahn admits she's already getting mushy-eyed, seeing mothers and their babies at every turn. "It's funny because when you think about it, you draw things to yourself," she says. "What you're vibing comes back at you. I see babies everywhere I look. I'm walking into stores going, 'Do I need this swing yet?'"

For those who know her well, Grahn seems as if she'd be a natural at motherhood. Honest, loving and comfortably balanced, having a baby at this point seems like the next step tp a full life.

"There's nothing more important to me than being a good mom" she reveals, her voice softening. "I appreicate being told I'm a good actress. But there is nothing that's music to my ears like being told that I'll be a good mom. Being honest and loving is an heirloom I picked up from my family. In terms of my being balanced, I think that was an illusion up until the last seven years of my life.

"I've really worked to level myself out and to prepare myself for motherhood," she says. "It was always a very important priority for me to be a good mother. I wanted to get myself to a place where I was as ready as I ever could be to do it. I really feel like I'm up to the challenge emotionally and spiritually and psychologically. But there are so many things you have to know. Fortunately, I think everyone goes through this, and after all, people do say it's common sense."

Luckly, her bosses and coworkers at GH have been very supportive, making her pregnancy that much more pleasant. "They've been absolutely unbelievable," Grahn reports. "This is a really good place to have this happen. THere are mothers everywhere you look. And they're liberated women who are mothers, so they have an understanding of my being over 21 and being so happy to be pregnant and their being so happy for me. They watch every little step I take."

But just as Grahn herself is feeling full of joy and hope for her future, her GH character is being caught in a downward spiral: Stefan discovers that Aleix conspired in making it appear as if Katherine were his sister and, in addition, her budding romance with Ned is nipped when he believes she was the cause of the Cassadine takeover of ELQ.

"Stefan is going to be lining all his ducks up in a row and I, of course, will be the sitting duck," Grahn laughs. "I'm really starting to have compassion for Aleixs and feel for her. What they have planned for her will end up defining her. She's complicated and I like that.

She's not all good and she's not all bad," Grahn points out. "What she does, she does because she was raised with the belief that there's nothing more important than the loyalty of family. She's never had a successful personal life as a result of that. It gets in the way every single time because she's forced to choose.

"It happens with Ned," she adds. 'He accuses her of something that she didn't do and had no control over. SHe just sort of gives into it because she realizes that it's something that happens to her all of the time."

Recently, Katherine accused Alexis of being in love with Stefan. "I chose not to have Alexis react in any big, dramatic way to that - bot to have righteous indigination about it," Grahn says. "Katherine doesn't understand family love and would change it into something perverted. She doesn't have the depth of character to see where it's coming from.

"Alexis' feelings for Stefan are not some perverse, Gothic thing," she adds. "He is father, brother, friend. It's all she has known. It's all so complicated because she loves Stefan. It's genuine. He's family.

"Alexis believes Katherine to be a terrible choice for the Cassadine family. She has a very shady background. She sees her as someone that is very manipulative. So Alexis' guard is up, even if it may not be justified. It's a trigger response. She sees a shady woman coming into his life and immediately the alarm goes off."

The twisted reality is that Alexis is showing family loyality by keeping Katherine away from Stefan, Grahn insists. But that same action is going to turn him against her. "Stefan's rejection will destroy jer," the actress predicts. "In one way, it wil be a mixture of feeling like she has no home and feeling a sense of relief. That's the dichotomy of it. That's what makes for a great conflict in this role. The very thing that she loves the most is the very thing that destroys her. Finding some other way of defining herself is going to be a very big exploration of her."

As Grahn sits back, perphaps contemplating the big exploration into motherhood that's ahead, she realizes how nicely her life seems to be falling into place. "I'm happy," she declares. "I'm satisfied. It really feels nice. Sometimes I think when we're younger that if the drama stops, you won't feel alive anymore. I have to tell you, when you're satisfied, you don't stop desiring things. But you can be satisfied and feel good and still keep growing and having the suprises."