Roadrunner No More!
Lyrics copyright 1994 by Joel Polowin. To "Wild Rover", traditional.
I've chased that road-runner for many a year
And I've spent all my cash on that cursed ACME gear
I'm old and I'm penniless, tired and sore
And I never will chase that road-runner no more!
If I weren't a toon I'd be many times dead
Of the boulders and anvils that drop on my head
The joke has grown stale and I'm getting too old
To be bunged up into an accordion-fold!
With fishing-pole traps I don't have any luck,
'Cause I always end up being hit by a truck.
I hate to remember the hours I've spent
Frozen stuck in a glob of quick-drying cement!
The more complex gadgets have lost their appeal,
From snow-making machines to the sailboards on wheels.
The catapults, rocket-sleds, things of that sort
Don't behave like they say in Consumer Reports!
Overall, my explosives have caused me distress
And I only end up with a terrible mess,
With a dynamite stick or a rocket or gun
But I wish I'd got hold of some plu-to-ni-um!
I'd like to retire, but one problem remains
For I'm still very hungry in spite of my pains
I can't catch that bird but I've got to be fed
So I think that I'll try chasing mouses instead!
Words copyright (C) 1994 by Joel Polowin. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and that this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Joel Polowin / 322 Kintyre Private. / Ottawa, Ont. / CANADA / K2C 3M6
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