All stories are rated PG - 13

Xander Harris stared at his reflection in the mirror in his bedroom and sighed pitifully. He couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong with him? What was it that she didn't see in him? What is it that made Buffy see love in a demon?

He resented Angel, more than he liked to admit, but he did. He had despised him for so long that he often wondered how it was possible that he hated Angelus even more. He knew the answer, it all involved Buffy...it always involved Buffy. With Angel, Buffy had been happy and all Xander wanted to do was to make her happy, and he supposed that was why it hurt that she found happiness from outside of him. Yet, with Angelus, all Buffy faced was sorrow and pain and heartache that was so evident in her face and her manner that Xander felt it at a glance, but knew he was helpless to take it all away. Angel had been foe, but Buffy loved him and so Xander could only step away. Angelus, on the other hand, is foe, and he hurt Buffy and in hurting her, he hurt him.

The phone rang loudly and Mrs. Harris yelled to her son that it was Cordelia and he yelled back that he'd call back later. Cordelia thought Xander with a sigh and a half smile. Never did he think that he would be dating Cordelia, never. Half of the time he wondered what she felt about him and the other half spent fearing for his life. Not that Cordy was all that bad for his health, it was just that he sometimes felt that he was cheating himself and cheating her in the process. So maybe he would never get Buffy, and maybe Cordelia was who he should be with, but everything was a huge gigantic maybe with Cordy. Yet, every time he saw Buffy, everything said yes, and Cordy...well, Cordy was a maybe, a possibility.

He didn't know why he always contemplated this to himself. It was practically on a daily basis. He wouldn't see how Buffy could ever love him or ever try, he wasn't the big hero like Angel was to her, even though he fought for the sake of her for more times than she would ever know. He guessed that that was all he could do since he could only love in the shadows.

"Hello, Lover, miss me?" Angelus said with a wicked grin as his grip grew tighter and tighter around her neck. She clenched her teeth and swallowed before she found enough strength and anger within her to kick him in the stomach and once he let go of her neck, she clipped him with her right fist. He toppled to the ground and Buffy, in her fighting stance, waited for him to stand up. Angelus slowly got up and as he rose from his fall, he was laughing and almost cackling.

"Not now, Buffy, it's not going to happen now," said Angelus shaking his head with a crooked grin, and in the corner of Buffy's eye she saw a figure in white dash by.

"If not now, when?" demanded Buffy, glaring at Angelus with such angered passion that she was breathing heavily.

"Soon," said Angelus walking away, glancing at something white glinting in the distance, before he stuffed his hands into his black coat pockets. As Buffy continued to eye the back of his tall form, she heard him continue, "Very soon."

Buffy ran after him and wanted to push him to the ground, but once she reached the figure in the black coat, he was gone and the darkness that had surrounded them with him. She found herself in engulfed in music, dimmed lights, and hushed voices and then realized she was in the Bronze. Across the way, she saw Willow and Xander talking with Oz and Cordelia at one of the various tables set around the dance floor. Then, she noticed that she was standing in the middle of the dance floor. She tried to walk, but for some odd reason, she couldn't move. The music had shifted from semi-slow to an even slower love song, and she smiled sheepishly hoping that no one would notice her and no one did. All eyes had fallen onto a figure that approached them.

He was dressed in white and no matter how hard Buffy tried to see his face, she couldn't. At every angle, his face was shadowed from her view and then she realized this stranger in white was walking towards her. His hand gently placed itself on hers, and she gasped feeling almost a current of electricity running through their fingers. Even more surprising to Buffy, she felt her feet become released from the magic that had stuck them to the ground. Nervously, she placed her head on his shoulder and unbeknownst to herself, she sighed, feeling so at ease and so taken in by his silent charm.

She finally broke the silence between them and whispered, "Who are you?"

"The White Knight," he replied simply in a soft tone.

"Why are you here?" she asked looking up at him, but still she saw no face, only a shadow that covered it to almost entirely.

"Buffy, I'm always here," he whispered back and despite the shadow on his face, she detected a warm smile, "I'll always be by your side."

"If you've always been here, then why is this the first time I've seen you?" asked Buffy, slightly jokingly, but there was some truth to her tone.

"Let's just say that I've watched you from afar," he said as the music began to fade.

"So tell me White Knight, will I ever get to see what you look like?" said Buffy looking up at him, standing still once more when the music stopped.

His softhearted smile warmed Buffy's lately saddened heart as he replied, "You'll see me someday, I hope, but it's not my decision to make. You can only discover who I am when you can look beyond all the shadows that surround me."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" she asked although she realized that all those around her were looking at them.

"By using your heart," he answered, and then to her surprise, gently kissed her with a kiss that made her pulse race.

She looked at him for a second and smiled, realizing that the shadow that concealed his identity was beginning to slowly fade, but before she began to realize who it was that made her heart beat so wildly, she woke up. In a daze, she glanced at the clock beside her bed and realized that it was nearly six-thirty, and although she went about her usual morning routine, her mind still wondered who was this mysterious White Knight. Her thoughts still lingered of this figure in the shadows when she met Xander and Willow later that morning.

"You know, guys, I had the strangest dream," said Buffy after their usual greetings, and both Willow and Xander noticed that she was smiling, really smiling, for the first time in weeks.

"Really, Buffy?" questioned Willow with a inquiring smile, "Was it a nice dream?"

"The beginning was fairly freaksome, but it turned out to be very nice," said Buffy, who although knew it was a dream, felt a tingle on her lips from the passion that had met her with his kiss. "See there was this guy..."

Before she could continue, Xander cut in with, "Me, right, Buffy?"

"No, not you, Xander," said Buffy with a laugh, thinking that such a romantic and mysterious guy couldn't possibly be Xander, "But you were in there for a little while. So were Willow, Oz, and Cordelia. Remember Cordelia, your girlfriend?"

"Remember Cordelia?" said Xander with a chuckle, "Who can forget Cordelia?"

"Enough already, Xander, I want to know Buffy's dream!" said Willow and she turned to Buffy and continued, "Well?"

"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted," said Buffy giving Xander a look, "There was this guy and he called himself the White Knight. I couldn't see his face because everything was so shadowed, but when he touched my hand, when we danced, and then when he kissed me in the end, it was like...wow."

"Wow?" asked Willow who wondered why she couldn't have Dream kisses that were wows.

"Wow," said Buffy nodding her head, but still feeling like that couldn't even describe it.

"A wow kiss," said Willow with a sigh before she separated from them to go to her own class.

Xander had become intensely silent, when he heard Buffy talk about the White Knight and he turned to ask her, "So, you have no idea who this White Knight is?"

"No idea, whatsoever, but most likely he's probably just something my mind made up," said Buffy and when she realized that he had grown even more silent she said with a laugh, "Why, Xander? Do you think the White Knight's you?"

Xander contemplated for a second and then said, "Let's see, to be the White Knight, I get to not only dance very close to you, I even get to kiss you, right?"

"That's right, Xander," said Buffy nodding and in the distance she heard the bell ring.

Xander glanced at Buffy and sighed while shaking his head, "Only in dreams, Buffy, only in dreams."

Buffy paused and gave him a perplexed expression before she laughingly said, "Xander, it was a dream."

Xander smiled and gave a side-ways glance at Buffy, and before he walked away Buffy heard him say, "I know, Buffy, I know..."

"Doesn't that just make you sick?" responded Xander waving his hand at the couple in a disgusted gesture.

"Come on, Xander, they've been together for weeks!" said Buffy with a sigh, "It's not like your opinion counts in their relationship, so get over it!"

"How can I if they keep rubbing their relationship in my face. I mean, every time I see them together it's all this touchy-feely stuff!" insisted Xander and Buffy rolled her eyes and put her soda can down, making a soft sound as the aluminum hit the table.

"Right, Xander," said Buffy with an air of sarcasm, "And how do you justify you and Cordy's touch-feely stuff? Which I might add, is about ten time worse than what Oz and Willow do."

"Hey, I resent that comment, Buffy because Cordy and I - " Xander paused a moment to contemplate, and feeling that Buffy's eyes were still on him, he chuckled nervously and glanced at her, "Never mind."

"Yeah...that's what I thought," said Buffy with a smile, despite the fact that her acceptance of Cordelia had yet to begin.

Xander didn't reply to Buffy's comment as he continued to stare at Oz and Willow. Xander contemplated that Willow looked happy, but he didn't believe she was because she was with Oz. What was Xander's opinion of Oz? Oz was just an orange-headed villain out to hurt his best friend. Once he reached to the thought of Willow being his best friend, he paused, unsure if that was what Willow was, nowadays. They were friends, Xander knew that for sure, but if they were BEST friends, was a whole other matter in its entirety.

Things had been distant between them for quite awhile, Xander realized. Even before Cordelia and Oz had even entered the picture as romantic counterparts, their relationship had been readily changed. Did Buffy have anything to do with it, thought Xander for a moment and then he sighed realizing that she had, but not profoundly. Whatever had cause them to separate happened, and everything, well, it just made it worst than it had been before.

He wanted very much to understand Willow. He would give anything to understand her, and try to make things back to the way it had been. Yet, he knew that that way was gone and to return to it was impossible. He couldn't believe how much Willow had changed to become a Willow that he couldn't even understand. Still, had he ever understood her to begin with? It still shocked him to think that Willow had been in love with him, and he didn't think he'd ever get use to the idea, and now with Oz, he wouldn't have to. Oz, thought Xander, what a crazy guy, what does she see in him? Truthfully, he didn't really know what he had against Oz. The weird part was that if Oz was just one of the gang and had no romantic connection to Willow at all, he knew he would be friends with him. But the point was he wasn't just one of the gang, he was Willow's...boyfriend. Sure, Oz being a werewolf didn't make Xander like him any more, but for some odd reason, it didn't make Xander like him, any less. It just gave him more to complain about, more that made some reasonable sense anyway. He supposed a lot of his resentment came form his thoughts that Oz made his friendship with Willow even more strained, even though deep down, he knew that that wasn't true. Oz was only a factor because he was making him a factor, and although Willow was chummy with Cordelia, now, Xander knew that Willow was making her a factor, too. It was as if they were divided sides trying not to be separated, but their efforts just made them even more so.

He thought again about Willow's face and finally realized that she was happy...with Oz. It didn't matter whether he liked it or not, it wasn't his choice to make, as Buffy had told him once. He stepped away from his heart because Buffy was in love with Angel, but Oz and Willow were different, he wouldn't have to step away. All he had to do was be happy because Willow was, and maybe in doing that, he could finally start treating Willow for what she had always been, and what he had always taken for granted, a true friend. Then, maybe, just maybe, he could start understanding Willow.

"Of course, I'm sure, Xander," said Cordelia with a sigh after some repetitive coughing, "Go to the dance with them. Just because I'm sick doesn't mean you can't go."

"But Cordelia not going to a school dance seems wrong somehow," replied Xander placing the carton back into the refrigerator and closing the door.

"Yeah, but Xander not going to a dance won't make a difference, now would it?" retorted Cordelia straightforwardly.

"Well, if you put it that way - " Xander began, but he stopped, "Look, Cordy, just try and get better, huh? I mean, who else am I going to argue with at school, and let's not forget, kiss and make-up with?"

"It's not like I'm Buffy and can just slay this cold!" said Cordelia with a laugh, "Hey, what's up with her and her clothes nowadays anyway? Don't you remember that thing she wore a few days ago? You know that blue thing?"

Xander ignored her comments of Buffy, like he always did and with a sigh he said, "Just get better, Cordy, huh? And I'll see you as soon as I can."

Before Xander could hang up, he heard Cordelia's voice say, "Go to the dance, Xander! You don't have to stay home on my account."

When he did hang up, Cordelia sighed, and felt her head throbbing from her head cold. She not only felt awful, but she knew she looked just as awful. Dropping her head onto her large white pillows, Cordelia couldn't help, but wonder was Xander going to the dance or staying home? She knew that despite all of what she had said to him to make him go the dance she wanted to think that Xander would do something romantic like stay with her and help her get better. Cordelia shook her head and knew that although Xander could be romantic, he wasn't when it came to her most of the time, and most of time she even wondered if he knew if she was alive.

She yawned and thought that having a nice early nap would help her get better. Still, her thoughts were of Xander and Buffy, and she was so worried about all of that that she fell into a troubling dream. A nightmare for her, but she knew that it was a dream beyond dreams for her boyfriend who was in love with someone else...

...As she walked into the building, she realized that the Bronze was a little more smoke-filled than it had been usually, but considering that the dance was being held there, it wasn't unusual. Oz and his band, "The Dingoes Ate My Baby" played a slow song and Willow, as usual, was gazing at Oz with a dreamy expression. She was now an official groupie, and she didn't mind that she didn't get to dance because her boyfriend was in the band, more or less because she didn't like to dance. Meaning, that she thought that that was a plus in her new relationship.

Cordelia peered at the table, noticing that Willow wasn't alone, and that Xander and Buffy were seated beside her, laughing. She walked towards them, but when she sat down at their table, she was surprised that they didn't even notice her.

"Hey, guys, I came!" Cordelia said in her normal voice, but still no one saw her there.

"Buffy, what do you say to dancing?" asked Xander suddenly, standing up from his seat, and Cordelia saw Buffy smile.

"I don't think so, Xander, I - " Buffy began as she shook her head.

"Go on, Buffy, dance with him," Willow said, tearing her eyes away from Oz for a moment to urge Buffy to dance with Xander.

Buffy sighed and smiled as she stood up, "Sure, Xander, I'd love to dance with you."

"Yes, Buffy, very enthusiastic," said Xander with a chuckle as he and she walked to the dance floor.

Cordelia frowned and scrutinized Buffy's clothing like she always did. That night, she was wearing a sleeveless dress made of a chiffon material of lavender, like Cordelia had seen earlier that day in a fashion magazine. For the first time, Cordelia had no criticism and that scared her, so she turned to give Xander a look, thinking she had to find something wrong with Xander's clothes, she always did. Tonight was no exception; Xander had on all white and stood out in the crowd. Then she realized that it didn't matter that he stood out, he actually looked good!

Noticing that no one knew she was alive, she followed them to the dance floor and was dying to hear their conversation. She resented that they always talked to each other, and it seemed, about everything. Xander went out on vampire patrol with Buffy far too many times than Cordelia liked. She stood idly by, close enough to hear them, but far enough so that she didn't feel weird just standing there.

"So, Buffy, do I even get close to being your White Knight of your dreams?" Cordelia heard Xander say to Buffy.

Cordelia remembered hearing Willow tell her about Buffy's dream of the White Knight. Willow had joked that Xander had thought that it was himself before she had even begun explaining.

"Well, my White Knight did dance closer," said Buffy with a light smile, and Cordelia was shocked to see that they began to dance so close that there wasn't even air between them. "Something like this, yes, but something's missing."

"That tramp, she wouldn't," said Cordelia under her breath and towards Xander she said, "That two-timing jerk, why I outta - " Despite her angry remarks, Cordelia stood her ground and waited for the scene to unfold.

"You mean, this?" Xander said and then their lips met, slightly hesitant, and then they pulled away and just looked at each other. Their pounding hearts seemed to echo in Cordelia's head and just when she thought their pulses had slowed, they kissed, again, and this time even longer than before.

Cordelia's jaw dropped, she had anticipated it, but she hadn't prepared for it. She was feeling very angry for two reasons. The first, Buffy and Xander, her boyfriend, had kissed each other, not once, but twice. Secondly, Xander had never kissed her like that, ever, and coming to the second reason, she sighed. A wave of depression hit her, as she realized he probably would never kiss her like that, a kiss with such passion that it meant love...

...She sat up right as she heard a knock on her door, and she walked to the door wondering who there. The crazy dream was still clear in her mind when she opened the door. She brushed her hair away from her eyes as she saw who stood in front of her, Xander Harris.

"Xander, what are you doing here? Aren't you going to the dance?" asked Cordelia with a surprised tone.

"No, I'm not going to the dance. What kind of an insincere boyfriend do you think I am, Cordy?" asked Xander with a laugh as he walked into her room, all the while holding a bag of rental tapes and a large bag of popcorn.

"The sweet kind," said Cordelia smiling as she began to look through the various videos that he had rented and decided which one she should complain about.

As they watched the movie, Cordelia still didn't feel at ease with the dream she had, although it was just a dream. She couldn't get rid of the mental picture of Xander and Buffy...kissing. Cordelia feared that it would cease to be just a dream, and would soon spill into reality. Sure, Xander was being nice and was lately being romantic and showing major concern over her, but what value did she have in Xander's heart? Was she number two or number three? The possibilities were endless, but eliminating a number out of the possibilities was easy. Cordelia knew that she could never occupy that reserved number in Xander's heart, a soft spot where Buffy would always remain, the number one.